Posted 11:32 AM by Blah blah

Joe Club: Joe Millionaire Blog. Why Do Smart People Make the Best Trashy Entertainment?

HAHAHA! Joe Club is a fan Diaryland site for the Fox TV show Joe Millionaire. The passion with which the members debate which girl has the fake boobs is infectious.

If I ever become a real TV producer, I should really try to help create a trashy show like this. It would be my legacy to all my years of education, to my dear senior English AP high school teacher, Mrs. Davis.

It's always amusing and ironic that the people who create these shows, called by snooty critics as the armpit of pop culture and a sign that Christ is coming back any day now, usually come from top schools and studied law and Shakespeare and read all those snooty writers. Here are the bios of Jean-Michel Michenaud and Chris Cowan, executive producers of Joe Millionaire. They also created the infamous Temptation Island 2. Hahaha!

And here's a profile of Elizabeth Bronstein (Philadelphia Inquirer), co-executive producer, which makes me chuckle with familiarity somehow. Before Millionaire, "Bronstein's previous job was as show runner of HBO's Emmy-nominated Project Greenlight, about a real-life contest [by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon] to pick an unknown filmmaker and bankroll his or her first feature. 'Yes, I went from classiest to trashiest. I told my parents, "I'm not going to win any Emmys for this one." ' "

Oh, but how much FUN it all sounds, Elizabeth! The people behind-the-scenes are just as gleeful as we are about how all this turns out. What I like about reality TV (as well as blogging) is that it IS still in the Wild West stage and that people can play and indulge their imaginations.

All of that elite education somehow helps you make better trashy (but SUCCESSFUL) shows.

Actually, do you notice this pattern of notorious or infamous people in entertainment who come from a conservative, well-educated, or WASPy background? Case in point: Asia Carrera, the Asian model student and geeky kid who became a famous porn star? Or Will Smith, who was accepted by MIT but turned it down to pursue his rap (and later TV) career?

Look at Jerry Springer's bio. You'll be surprised!

"Jerry Springer's life off-camera has had so many ups and downs, he might well have qualified as a guest on his own syndicated talk show. His parents fled Nazi Germany, escaping the Holocaust that claimed other family members, and eventually settled in Queens, New York. Fresh out of Northwestern University Law School, Springer served as a campaign aide to Senator Robert F. Kennedy and, following Kennedy's assassination, joined a law firm in Cincinnati, OH, where he eventually won a seat on the city's Council-at-Large in 1971. Although a blind date led to his 1973 marriage with a Proctor & Gamble administrative aide, something else led him to cross the Ohio River and procure the sexual favors of a prostitute in a Kentucky massage parlor. When vice cops discovered his secret, Springer resigned his position and came clean during a 1974 press conference. His honesty worked overwhelmingly in his favor, and he was elected mayor of Cincinnati in 1977, receiving the largest plurality in the city's history.

Springer stepped down as Mayor in 1981 and, after an unsuccessful bid for governor in the Ohio Democratic primary, joined Cincinnati's WLWT-TV as a political reporter and commentator in 1982. Two years later he graduated to news anchor and managing editor, becoming Cincinnati's number one anchor until he relinquished his post in January 1993. Springer launched his eponymous syndicated talk show from Cincinnati in 1991. The following year, he moved it to Chicago where it has flourished. He signed a contract that guarantees Jerry Springer Show junkies their fix through the year 2002.

A concerned humanitarian who has raised millions of dollars for charity, Springer suffered his greatest personal trial at the arrival of his only child, born legally blind, deaf in one ear and without nasal passages."

Posted 9:45 PM by Blah blah

Speed Dating

Patrick, my rollerblading teacher, actually arranged a speed dating event a while back. One of my Berkeley friends tried a very small version of this in Berkeley one or two years ago. He told me that some of them were the most repulsive people he'd ever met. The great thing, of course, is your agony lasts only 3 minutes. I would definitely try it! I usually form quick impressions of people and believe that if she and I don't have some good chemistry and banter at the beginning, it's highly unlikely that we'll have more months later. I tend to be unsentimental and move on.

Some speed dating sites:

Xdate, 8minuteDating, Pre-Dating, HurryDate.

Maybe we should have "Speed Breakups" too!

Hundreds Flock to New 'Speed-Dating' Singles Night (Reuters):
_________________
Hundreds of love-hungry singles flocked to London's biggest night of "speed-dating" -- the new craze for brief encounters sweeping the British capital.

The aim is simple: boost the chances of dating success by getting a three-minute preview.

Drawn by the excitement of a mass blind-date in a nation known for its reserve, nearly 1,000 young singles turned up at Wednesday night's sold-out event.

Speed-dating brings production line techniques to the field of romance. Singles are seated at tables around a room and for three minutes try to make an impression on their "date."

When time is up, an adjudicator blows a whistle and one group, usually the men, moves to the next table in a process that is repeated many times. Players tick the names of those they want to meet for a real date, and the organizers put them in contact later.

"Three minutes goes really fast," said 33-year-old Caroline Earl. "It was easy to talk to each other, though."

The idea started in the U.S. in the late 1990s as a way of helping young Jewish men and women meet spouses of their faith. [See Jewish speed dating.]

Posted 2:44 PM by Blah blah

Happy 1st Birthday to Tiger Cafe

This blog is 1 year old today! Based on my statistics from last October,

Number of pages written per week: 15 to 22.
Number of pages per year: 780 to 1140.
Number of words per year: 600,000!

I set up HaloScan comments here last Oct. 7. From October till now, this blog received 1319 comments. Only four months. Projecting that, we could have gotten 3900 comments in a year.

Of course, the best thing about blogging is meeting and making friends with all of YOU! You have all expanded my world and heart, in China, the Philippines, Thailand, Canada, Los Angeles, New York, Connecticut, Texas, Europe, Japan, and more.

We've churned through a huge harem of cowriters, 21 in all! Here they are in order. Tiger Cafe Cowriters: Christina, S X, J A, Halo, Esther, Sylvia, Rasee, Mira, Cheshire Dave, Charlie, Raven, Michelle, Duke, Ang, Ben, Mona T., Jian Shuo, Sandy, Mona V., Stephanie, and All2Swift.

Some of our best entries are here.

My favorite or more notable posts from the year, in chronological order:

1. God as Alan Greenspan, Take 2 (Thoughtful)
2. Blogspot Blues (Funny)
3. Jiang Zemin Photos (Funny)
4. A Guy Hits on Both Nick and Christina (Funny)
5. More Crazy Photos (My photos)
6. TV Dating Shows. Asian Version of Blind Date (Funny)
7. Creationism vs. Evolution Debate (5 Parts) (Thoughtful)
8. My First Love (Romantic)
8.5 What I Look For in a Woman (Revealing)
9. Tonight. Forever. Taste. (3 Sexy Poems) (Poetic)
10. Who is 25 and Over? (Funny)
11. I Choose Banter and Intellect Over Looks (Relationship)
12. More about Bantering, Brains vs. Looks, and Strong-willed Women (Relationship)
13. Raymond Goes Bald (Funny)
14. Pix of My Housemate and His Girlfriend (Photos)
15. Conan O'Brien's Speech to the Harvard Class of 2000 (Funny)
16. Funniest Sites (Funny)
17. 40 Things a Man Should Know By 40 (Relationship)
18. Reading a Girl's Intentions (Relationship)
19. Stolen Kiss/Sexual Harrassment (Relationship)
20. Suicide Threat (3 Parts) (Scary)
21. Top 10 Things a Young Single Woman Should Know (Relationship)
22. Flirting Advice (Funny)
23. Winnie's 50 Questions (Revealing)
24. Purpose of Tiger Cafe (Thoughtful)
25. My Asian Stereotype Experience (Painful)
26. Leaving Technology for Religion (Thoughtful)
27. My History with Racism and Sexism (Thoughtful)
28. 28 Questions (Revealing, Funny)
29. Torn Between Engineering and the Humanities (Thoughtful)
30. A Western View of Dating "Chinese" Chinese (4 Parts) (Relationship)
31. Harvey, James Stewart, and the Need for Faith (Inspiring)
32. The Odds on Shamu and Me (Relationship)
33. Becoming a Stripper (Racy)
34. TV: Where the Content Creator is Rich (Business)
35. 10,000 Tears and None the Richer (Revealing)
36. Bette Davis, on Acting (Thoughtful)
37. 3 Articles on Japan (Shocking)
38. Accidental Playboy (Revealing)
39. Sandy's Worst Date Ever (Funny)
40. Should Men Look as Good as Women? (Funny)
41. Multi-level Marketing Scam (Business)
_______________________________
42. Joe Club: Joe Millionaire Blog. Why Do Smart People Make the Best Trashy Entertainment? (TV)
43. My Ex Got Married (Relationship)
44. Should We Have a Two-Tier System to Preserve Quality TV? The Hours (TV)
45. Used Bookstore (Thoughtful)

Posted 10:49 PM by Blah blah

CNETRadio.com. Telemarketers Sue the U.S. Government Over Do-Not-Call Lists

Too bad. CNET Radio 910 AM will be ending operations January 31 and moving to digital audio and web broadcasts. Wasn't profitable enough.

I've been listening to CNET Radio. This is a hip radio station that covers technology and business all day, and I LOVE the David Lawrence show and his nightly show, Online Tonight.. He's very funny and witty. I learned a lot just from listening for one hour! Very useful stuff to know for all of you at technology companies. Also, other great hosts like Rob Black talk stocks.

You may listen to CNET Radio online too---either old programs, or live on the web (Click "Listen Live Now!")

In the Bay Area, it's 910 AM on the radio.
_______________
Anyway, I have been extremely fed up with telemarketers. Now I usually wait for the long tell-tale pause after I say "hello" and just hang up. Or if I'm nicer, I ask them how they got my number and tell them to remove me from their phone list.

I just moved to this new house a few weeks ago and just set up phone service, so I was blissfully call-free for two weeks, until---yesterday! What the hell??? I got at least 2-3 calls today. At my old place, I was getting at least 2-3 calls a DAY from damned telemarketers. My FRIENDS don't even know my new number. Today the lady told me that my Visa or Mastercard company had entered my name in a sweepstakes, and THAT'S how they got my number.

DAMN the credit card companies. I'm calling mine tomorrow and asking them to remove me and my number from all lists. Telemarketers are required by LAW to remove you from their phone lists if you ask them. Did you know that? I don't think your name gets removed, though. You get put on a do-not-call list.

Well CNET Radio just reported this stupid, stupid news:

Telemarketers Sue to Stop Do-Not-Call List (Reuters):
__________________________
Telemarketers went to court on Wednesday in an attempt to stop the U.S. government from setting up a proposed "do not call" list that would help consumers block unwanted sales calls.

Four telemarketing companies and a trade group filed suit in federal court in Oklahoma City to stop the Federal Trade Commission from setting up a program that would allow consumers to place their names on a list of households that do not want to receive such calls [called the FTC Telemarketing Sales Rule (TSR).]

Telemarketers who ignore the FTC's list would face fines of up to $11,000. Callers for charities and political groups would be exempt.

The FTC's proposal, which could be up and running as early as August, has won unprecedented support from consumers who have swamped the agency with more than 50,000 letters of support.

But telemarketers say 27 existing state do-not-call lists and a voluntary national list run by the Direct Marketing Association trade group should provide consumers enough protection.

In the suit, the DMA and four telemarketing firms said the FTC's effort would violate free-speech laws and discriminate against an industry that provides millions of jobs.

"The FTC is singling out this form of advertising now, what will be next?" said DMA President Robert Weintzen in a prepared statement.
__________________________
Oh pleeeze. What the hell is the Direct Marketing Association doing suing the FTC? I thought the DMA was the "good guy" for providing a national do-not-call list already. I am disappointed. I wonder if the DMA is using all those names and addresses people are sending them, intended to get OFF of telemarketing lists, for some other marketing purpose after all!

Posted 9:22 PM by Blah blah

Multi-level Marketing Scam (Part 2): "Pre-Paid Legal Services"

Just after I got done warning you about multi-level marketing companies like Amway, which are all scams and not worth your time, this guy tried to convince me to join this company called Pre-Paid Legal Services as a sales associate (PPD on the NY Stock Exchange.)

The idea of PPL is to offer people monthly "legal insurance" services, like health insurance and an HMO. For supposedly $26/month, customers get access to this one law firm (at least in California). This guy helps sells PPL and is recruiting new "sales associates." He was relentlessly upbeat and gave me the hard sell, telling me about its potential growth rate, the lack of general knowledge about this service, about how once I joined the team as a "sales associate," how he'd help sign up new members to my team, how he already has other people lined up, but that he's waiting for me to attend the informational meeting, blah blah blah.

Anyway, this sounded like a good idea at first. It wasn't till I asked him how we'd actually make money that I hit a red flag. Which is that you make money partly from a fee on new sales associates you sign up and THEIR sales. This is the whole essence of a legal pyramid scheme. (A normal "pyramid scheme" is illegal and considered fraud.)

Tonight PPL had an informational meeting at the Biltmore Hotel in Santa Clara, and he and another guy called me, pushing and coaxing me to go. The other guy was super upbeat too, talking vague terms and sounding like a used car salesman. After a little surfing for info, I found these three sites that totally slammed Pre-Paid Legal Services. BUSTED! Check them out:

- Mediamoogle.com (My Pre-Paid Legal Story---by a guy who tried it, with links to tons of negative articles about people suing PPL, how they have lost money and customers, etc.)
- Pre-Paid Plunges As Growth Evaporates (TheStreet.com).
- Class Action Lawsuit Against Pre-Paid Legal Services.

In my view, multi-level marketing is just as bad as a pyramid scheme and technically is not that much different. MLM companies should all be outlawed. People are wasting tons of time, money, and goodwill with their friends and families in being suckered in by these companies!

Check out Pyramid Scheme Alert for extensive info on these pervasive scams. Here are

Raymond's Easy Ways to Spot Multi-Level Marketing Companies

1. Salespeople like YOU will make money based on how many OTHER salespeople you recruit to sell, essentially COMPETING with you! Why would any business person encourage others to compete with them for a limited market??? Makes no financial sense. Eventually the next generation of recruits runs out of customers. The key thing is you get a commission based on the sales of other people you recruit to sell with you! That means MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING.
2. All the people you talk to from that company are relentlessly upbeat and positive about the business.
3. They are called "sales associates."
4. They give you an aggressive hard sell without much financial or technical details. They don't KNOW the details if you ask for specifics. Their sales pitches and meetings sound like fundamentalist religious cults.
5. Their website has no substance, no financial or other technical details about their business.
6. Their meetings look like religious revivals---all show and no substance. People walk around in crisp business suits high-fiving each other. They bring out a main speaker who's some backwoods redneck who's a high school dropout, who brags about his millions, about his nice car and big house, who trots out his blonde bimbo wife, all to sell YOU on the sham that you can be the same way too! (You can tell I've been to some of these meetings.)

Posted 2:33 PM by Blah blah

NegroPlease.com: Jason Toney

Finally, I found this fantastic blog for my link list, by a BLACK writer, Jason Toney! It's called NegroPlease. I'd been wondering where the hell the black community was in the blogging universe. My friends Marcus and Lisa are two highly articulate members of the Bay Area black community, as are their friends, but I've been at a loss to point them out to something like a community on the web for black bloggers.

Well no more.

From his rat-tat-tat hip talking bio of himself, Jason works in the TV business in LA and is probably more obsessed with TV writing than I. He also loves the sound and rhythm of good dialogue. Now that's an extremely rare person to find. Reading his entries sounds like listening to Chris Rock riff on stage or Malcolm X tell stories in that passionate book I loved, The Autobiography of Malcolm X.

Jason just celebrated his one year blog-versary yesterday! As he writes:

There have been 233 entries, approximately 2600 comments, and, apparently, I'm one of the go-to guys to discuss underwear ads in the black community. This site has been referred to in articles at Slate and in print form by The Washington Post. I started a blogging community controversy. Yes, I am the evil de-linker. I met amazing black people that are my peers, which is a big deal, as I knew very few in the real world. I met cool people of all walks of life (although, without fail they seem to be pretty damn Queer. Queer-gay, Queer-straight, but most of all Queer-Positive, which seems to be the one running similarity between all of the sites I link to). And just because people ask me on a pretty regular basis and are shocked to find out that I'm not what they think I am: I am Queer-straight and Queer-positive. I just can't watch Queer as Folk.

Which probably didn't clear up anything unless you've been reading this place for awhile and know how I think.

Because of this site, I met Lynne. Lynne gave me my first real paying writing gig. She also peeped me to another location where I write on occasion.

Because of this site, I met KD. An off-the-cuff remark by me led to her creating WAM! I should post there more often.

One of the few blog-type folks I've met in real life is Skits. She let's me write about television at snarkfest! I should also post there more often.

Mostly through the other negro (no, not that negro, the other one), I've met the fabulous writers and people Hanne and Heather.

Melly is still my secret internet girlfriend and Michelle and Monique are still my internet best friends.

I never imagined that this would be a way to meet intriguing people. Never imagined that it would alter my life. I did imagine, however, that it would improve my writing. It has.

Congratulations, Jason! His writing crackles with wit and energy, with a sizzling vital voice. He's got talent. And what a coincidence---tomorrow is MY one year anniversary of starting Tiger Cafe! Jason seems as much a compulsive writer as I. Plus he likes Aaron Sorkin (which is how I found his blog)!

A warm hi to a kindred soul, Jason.

Posted 1:23 PM by Blah blah

How My Big Fat Greek Wedding Got Greenlit and Produced

Read the tale: 'Wedding' b.o. [box office] bells ring for Gold Circle Films (Hollywood Reporter).

Posted 12:08 AM by Blah blah

Starting today, I'm eliminating the comments section of this blog. If you have something to say, please email me or put it in the "tagboard" in the left column.

Mark's Latest Film: Claustrophobia

I know writer/director Mark Kines from junior high and high school. Wrote about him here. Here's the latest news from him and the movie production company he started last year, Cassava Films. Mark quit his job as art director at Paramount Pictures to do this. Here's his blog about his latest movie, Claustrophobia.

Please read his production info section! I laughed out loud and learned much reading his horror stories of making this movie. Says Mark: "This subsection will tell you everything you need to know about the making of the film Claustrophobia, from its original inception (based on a bad dream I had as a teenager) to the process of writing the script; hiring cast and crew; preparing for a tight, low-budget shoot; the rigors of production; what happens when the cameras stop rolling and whatever comes after the movie is finished. See those little text links above the photo to the left? Click on them and plunge into the sordid world of independent filmmaking."

Claustrophobia costars Melanie Lynskey, who also starred with a budding Kate Winslet in Heavenly Creatures, directed by---guess whom?---Peter Jackson, now famous for directing Lord of the Rings!

Mark's first film was Foreign Correspondents, which came out on HBO and is selling here on Amazon.com. This movie also stars Melanie Lynskey and Wil Wheaton, whose blog I am sure you know.
_____________
Now you can take part in the independent filmmaking process the best way possible: without spending a penny or lugging heavy film equipment around! I've designed 6 different posters for my upcoming film Claustrophobia and I want to know which one You The Public like the most. So I've set up an online user poll. I'm serious---whichever poster gets the most votes, that's the one I'm going with.

PLEASE VOTE HERE.

Please tell all your friends and colleagues, too. I really need people to know about this. Thanks.

*** EDITING FINISHED! ***
On January 25 my editor and I finished a final visual cut of Claustrophobia and it's looking great, very scary and funny and the performances are fantastic. Now it's time for sound editing. If all goes well, the film will be completed in April.

*** ALL THE POOP IS ON THE SITE ***
Last November I put up a huge section about the making of Claustrophobia and you're welcome to peruse. It's racy, gossipy, even educational.

I also just got back from Sundance [Film Festival] and have reviews and reports on the site as well. By the way, a big HELLO to all the friendly people I hung out with in Park City.

*** HTML GURUS? ***
I do all the programming on my site and for some reason the top navigation bar shifts left and right from page to page. It's driving me crazy. If any of you have tips on how to fix this, please share.

*** WHERE'S THE INVESTOR DUDE IN PENNSYLVANIA? ***
A while back somebody wrote me curious about investing in Claustrophobia once I had a rough cut. I somehow lost his email address. If you're out there, man, give me a shout. I have a tape to send you.

*** FINALLY ***
As usual, for those of you who want a personal email from me, just reply and I will write back. Also, there's a lot of you who I haven't heard from in eons. Drop me a line! This means YOU Gino, Rob, Shannon, Blaire, Pam, Maureen, Andrew, Yau, Chi, Jenny, Jon, Alenka, Emjay, Mark, T2, etc.

Thanks again for your time and attention. I hope life is treating you all well.

Mark Tapio Kines
writer/director/producer/whatever
Cassava Films

Posted 10:29 AM by Blah blah

More Skating Pictures

Hey, Patrick posted these pix of our rollerblading lesson, yesterday! Boy, they are embarrassing! We practice at Netscape headquarters in Mountain View, where they have a bona fide roller hockey rink. We worked on improving our step turns and crossover turns. My braking still needs a LOT of practice. At the end, Patrick tried something new. He had us play TAG on skates! (You may see our tag photos at the bottom of the page.) We had to stay within the two blue lines of the hockey rink. For more experienced people like me, he gave me a handicap. I had to keep one skate on the ground at all times and was only allowed to "scull" forward. Sculling is where you keep one skate straight in front of you for gliding, while you angle and push off with the back skate. Patrick used to coach kids in roller hockey, and he said kids got MORE wild than the adult hockey players. They got extremely competitive and passionate once they were in a game. People in my lesson started doing that too. It forced the shy, fearful people to take risks and move!

Yesterday we skated the usual two hours, then we skated to this doughnut shop where we always have breakfast and talk. But then Patrick kindly added two MORE hours of skating. He led us to Shoreline Park in Mountain View (see photos), one of the most beautiful parks down here, which has windsurfing, golfing, bike trails, a beautiful pond, and a historic house. You can rent sail and paddle boats there. It was time to apply our training to the real world!

I'd taken my friend Sheryl rollerblading here for her birthday. Rollerblading is such a great sport for personal contact, cuz beginners have to grab your arm...hehe...

We happily dodged little kids on scooters, serious mountain bikers with tight pants, and old ladies sauntering by the water. Shoreline has two steep hills, and I fell at the bottom of one of them the last time I was here. Yesterday I skated gingerly down both hills and could feel myself getting more stable than before. We kept seeing this Chinese dad riding this tiny electric scooter with his two little daughters, one in front and one in back of him. Where's the exercise, man, we thought?

Patrick is the funniest storyteller, by the way. He will tell you all kinds of tales of coaching kids, skating injuries, skating tricks he did in San Francisco, hockey fights, etc. He's highly entertaining. Since one day a week is not enough, I'm organizing at least one weekly practice outside of the group lessons. We'll try to skate three times per week.

Check out Patrick's photos. One of the girls in the class is his friend Ladda. She's from Thailand and has introduced him to many Thai events. Here's Patrick with a pretty singer. Pix of the recent peace rally in SF. A ball in honor of the King of Thailand.

After four hours of skating, you work out your ankles, lower back, and legs. When I finally took the skates off, I waddled bowlegged like Donald Duck and felt like I'd just had my legs wrapped around a horse. With a gorgeous, sunny view of the lake, a deep breath of crisp breeze, and nursing a very sore butt, I felt life was good.

Posted 9:08 AM by Blah blah

Do Not Allow Children to Play in the Dishwasher

From Unica Hija. Made me laugh! (I understand some of her Taglish sentences, kasi my family uses a few of them.) Sounds like things my paranoid parents would say.
_______________
Warning! Keep your pants on when sitting in the Interactive Health massage chair featuring "Human Touch Technology." The full text of this important safety tip read:

First Place: "Do not use massage chair without clothing. Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."

That warning is a winner of the Wacky Warning Label Contest. Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a group whose goal is to show that fear of frivolous lawsuits has led to a loss of corporate common sense, sponsors an annual contest for the wackiest warning labels.

Second Place: "Do not use snow blower on the roof."

Third Place: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."

Previous winners in the "Wacky Warning Label Contest" are presented here for your amusement and amazement:

•A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
•A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding."
•A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
•A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
•A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
•An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."
•A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious."
•A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."
•A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner."
•A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."
•A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping."
•A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use."
•A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place."
•A bathroom heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms."
•A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes."
•A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
•A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution: Risk of Fire."
•A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."
_______________
During the first part of January, when I stayed with my parents during my move, here's a sample what they told me. I'm not joking:

- Do not boil water in the mornings. You'll burn down the house.
- Do not put that (plastic) fork in the microwave. You'll cause sparks.
- Do not use our phone to call long distance (they've already removed long distance service from their phone).
- Do not turn up the thermostat over 63 F (17.2 C), even though you have the flu. Just wear more jackets.
- Do not use the washing machine without adding other people's clothes to yours.
- Do not turn on the bedroom light in the mornings (even when it's dark).

Did I mention they refuse to give me a key to their house? Living with my parents is a barrel of laughs.

Posted 9:06 AM by Blah blah

Gamma Male

Had a great time at Dolly's Chinese New Year Party yesterday. She also celebrated her son Bryan's birthday. About 20 people showed up, mainly kids it seemed. Had fun talking to Sophia, whom I'd invited from Jane's party. She's more than meets the eye. Originally from Guangdong, she lived in Thailand for ten years and spent a few teaching kids to speak Thai. She invited me to do yoga with her at her company, where she works in software. She's the third girl who has invited me to yoga with her. I must look really bendable. Hehehe...

Dolly is my old friend from International House Berkeley. Her living room floor was scattered with a cornucopia of toys, and Bryan, Kenny, and Sarah spent the afternoon making ZOOMing noises. This morning I'm going to my next rollerblading lesson. Check out our embarrassing skating photos!

I realize why I like Kiefer Sutherland's character in 24 and Mel Gibson's in Braveheart so much. They are both "gamma males."

Unica Hija called me a gamma male last year. Gamma male defined, referring to Adrian Paul in The Highlander:

Occasionally morally ambiguous, but most often doing "the right thing", he is...tough but tender, tortured but not cruel, a lover of women and the finer things in life, as comfortable in jeans as in kilts or silk, physically strong yet emotionally vulnerable . . . . This is a man, an immortal, actually, who can dispatch a villain with his sword in one moment, and in the next, comfort a dying friend. He can cry, he can love, he can kill, he can laugh.

Several years ago I used to be more beta (the soft and cuddly type), but with all the trials I've gone through the last few years, I've become more sarcastic, less innocent, more cold and ruthless when necessary, and gained an ability to be an insensitive jerk when needed. Life has become less pristine and clearcut and more a series of grays to me. I am cheerful in general but look at the world slightly more darkly and world-wearily than before, as you've probably noticed.

I don't know if that's better or worse, but I am still by nature an optimist. Slightly jaded by life, slightly skeptical, but still capable of great feeling and devotion. Perhaps all this makes me a gamma male. What do you think about gamma males?

Posted 8:27 AM by Blah blah

Sex 101: Had I Known Then

By Sabrina in Britain, who by the way is single and posted a boyfriend application.

Posted 12:22 AM by Blah blah

AVmeeting.net: Audio/Video Meeting Over the Web

Very cool! One of my old roommates, originally from Shanghai, just sent me this message. His name is Zilun Gong. He says he moved back to Toronto, Canada in Oct. 2001. He set up his own company in May 2002, called Eable.Biz Tech Corp. It created AVmeeting.net, an audio/video email and meeting service he developed!

He is a very experienced software developer, and we got along VERY well. He was always cheerful and jolly, like a laughing Buddha. Nice family too. I haven't talked to him for a long time, so I am delighted to get this message.

Here's Gong's VIDEO MESSAGE to me. Click on the play sign to hear and see him speak!

Help my friend and try the service!
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AVmeeting.net is a website to provide interactive Audio/Video/Image/Text delivery services over the Internet by web browsers. There are 7 services currently,

AVLobby - free public audio/video meeting(0¢US/min)
AVRoom - private audio/video meeting(19¢US/min)
AVOffice - high bandwidth private business audio/video meeting(49¢US/min)
PhoneLobby - public audio/text talking(3¢US/min)
PhoneRoom - private audio/text talking(5¢US/min)
TextDesk - private text chat/delivery(1¢US/min)
InfoDesk - free public text chat for all visitors(0¢US/min)

System requirements:

A web browser with Flash 6.0 plug-in, JavaScript and cookie enabled
Under Microsoft Windows or Macintosh Operation System(Unix/Linux not tested at present)
With sound card and speakers installed
A 16-bit color monitor capable of 800 x 600 resolution
A microphone plugged and working(optional if you just use text mode)
A webcam plugged and working(optional if you just use audio/text mode)
Internet connection(56kbps and up for Services above except Service 3, 80kbps+ for Service 3)

Payments/Deposits:

PayPal is the authorized payment processor for AVmeeting.net(a website of Eable.Biz Tech Corp.)
Deposit some amount(at lease US$2.00) before using the services except Service 1 and 7
Deduct the right cents from the deposit based on the minutes used for the services
If you have an account with PayPal, you may deposit in a minute
If you have never paid through PayPal, you may register an account in a few minutes
We refund your balance at your request immediately by PayPal if the balance is equal or greater than US$1.00

Posted 9:42 AM by Blah blah

Beware Multi-level Marketing & Rich Dad, Poor Dad

In this down economy, many people are thinking of how to make money more quickly. Recently some of my friends have told me about two schemes from which I think you should stay away.

1. Multi-level marketing (Amway, WMA, WFG, Quixtar, Pre-paid Legal Services, etc.) and pyramid schemes

Another time, I will write tons about this. Basically, STAY AWAY from ALL companies having anything to do with multi-level marketing (MLM) or pyramid schemes!!! Read this description on The Skeptic's Dictionary for details on how all MLM schemes are scams that will ultimately LOSE you money.

What are some major MLM companies around that have recruited me as aggressively as a church group? Amway, Quixtar (the renamed, Internet version of Amway), World Financial Group (WFG)/World Marketing Alliance (WMA), Pre-paid Legal Services, and more!

Please read this May 2000 Money magazine article about WMA and Hubert Humphrey. A scam revealed.

DO NOT BE FOOLED! These are all money-losing scams! Here's a site that tells about the lies of WMA/WFG. A site by ex-WMA/WFG members. Here's a list of sites about Amway/Quixtar, including sites by ex-Amway distributors.

Here's what I wrote about Prepaid Legal Services (PPL), another MLM scam.

I've been approached by these people several times, I've been to some introductory meetings in the past, and I warn you again: do not give any of these people the time of day. They operate like harmful religious cults: intelligent but financially ignorant people are being brainwashed into believing in these scams. I've seen them try to recruit a lot of Asians.

2. Robert Kiyosaki and his Rich Dad, Poor Dad books

Be very careful! He has been all over TV and in the bookstores the last couple of years. But read this January 2003 article in Money magazine about him first. Basically it criticizes him for:

1) Being too simplistic with vague financial advice. He mainly encourages you to start you own business and invest in real estate. And he teaches some basic accounting. But few details or real financial education.
2) Being overly optimistic and ignoring risk. He preaches a feel-good philosophy that encourages you to take huge risks, without telling you what may go wrong.
3) Not being too open about how HE makes his money. About gaining more income than you might think from the sale of his books, videos, and tapes.

From the article, "Poor Man's Prophet":
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Kiyosaki holds himself up as an example, so it's natural to wonder if he really succeeded as described in his books--or whether the books are his one real success. He is secretive about his real estate dealings and his business in general. When I flew to Phoenix to meet Kiyosaki, he and his wife drove me around, showing me a handful of properties he claimed to own, but insisted that their addresses not be printed. (His reason: fear of nuisance lawsuits by tenants.) Public records in Arizona show that he has profitably bought and sold other properties in the area, on a relatively modest scale. He can afford a handsome home in a swank section of Phoenix--bought in 1999 for $1.2 million--and he's got a couple of cars in his garage, one of which is a Ferrari. He lives well, although he's not in the same league with, for example, a local real estate heavyweight like Jerry Colangelo, owner of the Phoenix Suns.

"I'm a real estate guy," is how Kiyosaki responds when asked what his profession is. But he's also been in another business--motivational speaking--for more than 20 years, though this fact gets only a passing mention in Rich Dad. He began lecturing and leading seminars in the early 1980s, when he was first a student and then an instructor with a San Diego outfit now called Excellerated Business Schools. It offered (and still does) a 3 1/2-day program called Money and You, the creation of an attorney named Marshall Thurber who is a protege of Werner Erhard, founder of EST.

During the 1970s EST was a prominent and controversial part of the American cultural landscape. Enthusiastic graduates say it improved their lives by forcing them to break with old habits and ways of thinking; others say it was an authoritarian cult that charged them money for the privilege of being publicly browbeaten for failing to "get it."...

Everything was going fine until October 1993, when an Australian TV news magazine called Four Corners aired a report on Money and You. The main focus was on an Australian attorney who said that after taking the course his life had become a shambles, his business ruined, his marriage wrecked. Other graduates of the program were taped saying they'd been disturbed by learning techniques like the Blocks Game, an exercise in which participants competed to model abstractions like "trust" using only children's building blocks. The game could go on for hours and frustrations could run high. "We got to a stage where virtually everybody in the hall at one stage was crying," one participant told Four Corners. "Some of them were on the verge of a nervous breakdown.... You start losing sight of your own values and your own convictions."...

All of which probably proves nothing and is secondary to the real question, which is: Can the people who buy into Kiyosaki's philosophy reasonably expect to make money following the advice of Rich Dad--whether or not he ever really existed? Kiyosaki's numerous fans say emphatically yes. Planners and other financial pros are much more skeptical.

The question is actually hard to answer, because the advice in Rich Dad, Poor Dad tends to be so general that it's often hard to figure out just what it is, let alone whether it's sound. Kiyosaki is given to saying things like "Pay yourself first"--a line that appears in virtually every financial self-help book. Or: "The poor and middle class work for money. The rich have money work for them." True as that may be, you won't find it of much practical help in getting out of debt, say, or trying to invest prudently for your kids' education. But criticizing Rich Dad, Poor Dad for lack of detail may miss the point. Its purpose is to inspire--and to plug Rich Dad's Guide to Investing, Real Estate Riches and the rest of the Rich Dad line.

As for Kiyosaki's recommendation that investing in real estate is the way to go, there's no question that shrewd real estate investors can and do make money all the time. It is not, however, as easy as Kiyosaki makes it sound. Rich Dad, Poor Dad does contain boilerplate acknowledgments of the risks involved, and Kiyosaki does advise readers to start slow and make their inevitable mistakes on small deals. But the tone of the book is also unfailingly boosterish, with reassuring statements like "Anyone with a high school education can do it."

More revealing may be Kiyosaki's attitude toward risk. In Rich Dad, Poor Dad Kiyosaki writes that whenever Rich Dad was nervous about a pending business deal he took inspiration from people he had met in Texas. Quoth Rich Dad: "Texans don't bury their failures. They get inspired by them. They take their failures and turn them into rallying cries." The Alamo was the scene of a massacre, for example, a massive military failure that nonetheless became a symbol of Texan pride and resolve. Kiyosaki himself adds, "Failure inspires winners. And failure defeats losers."

Kiyosaki denies that he soft-pedals risk, arguing that the stock market is far more dangerous than the Rich Dad way. Nonetheless, his philosophy is one that requires adherents to bet big and roll the dice. Which is fine if you are emotionally wired for it and, say, willing (like Kiyosaki) to live in your car while attending the school of hard knocks. But it offers little guidance for more timid souls--or those of us who, unlike Kiyosaki, have kids to think about--who are apt to take on less risk and thus forgo a shot at the house with a pool and the Ferrari.

In his latest book, Rich Dad's Prophecy, Kiyosaki ups the ante considerably. Given his prediction of a coming stock market meltdown, he argues that you no longer really have a choice about whether to take Rich Dad's advice or not. If you don't want to spend your golden years on the streets, he all but says, you're going to have to get out of the stock market and put your money into things like real estate.

Posted 10:58 PM by Blah blah

Reality TV Alters TV Economics

Reality TV Alters the Way TV Does Business (NY Times).

I find a relationship between the popularity of reality TV, especially with young people, and the popularity of blogging. Think about that!

When Ernie reached an incredible amount of daily new readers through his SurvivorBlog and other Survivor-type web games, you could see a trend in people's interest that affected or resulted from the popularity of both reality TV AND blogging.

The problem with all of those intelligent, well-written, and well-acted shows, which may appeal to higher-income people, is that most people don't have time to follow them and may get confused with their intricacies and subplots. They bring together a huge amount of creative talent, but they are also hugely expensive.

The thing about reality shows like American Idol and Fear Factor is, dumb as they may be, they are cheap to make and easy to digest. Visual junk food for the 30 minutes you have at the end of the day when your brain shuts off. And hey, I LIKE some of them too. I'm not being a snob about this. I appreciate both the West Wings and the Joe Millionaires. And I like trashy stuff like Elimidate, especially since they and The 5th Wheel have the hottest people of all the dating shows.

Wonder how all of this will turn out. Will we end up with a mix of really smart/really dumb shows? The hit really smart shows like ER are prized for their ability to attract high income viewers in that 18-49 year old demographic that TV and ad people crave.

And how about any shows for the 50+ year old crowd? What about all their retiree purchasing power? I think it's stupid to ignore that growing chunk of the population by not having more "old viewer" shows. My mom, for example, doesn't watch any American TV drama or sitcoms, partly because everyone is too young for her to care. She'd rather watch Antiques Roadshow. But then she never buys anything she sees on TV either.

Anyway, I wonder about Tiger Cafe too. I mean since the beginning, I've made this a very intellectual, sophisticated, cheeky blog. But maybe I need more dumbing down. More "kids on Spring Break/party time" kinda posts to attract the younger demographic.

Ah, what the hell. I'll think about it later. I keep thinking like a damned TV executive.

Posted 9:46 PM by Blah blah

Television Without Pity

I originally found this site, Television Without Pity, from Ellen. For all of you TV addicts or people who never have time to follow a show, this is the site for you. They actually pay people to recap your favorite shows for ya, so for especially confusing shows like Alias or low IQ ones like Joe Millionaire, you get to hear a really sarcastic guy slam the weekly episodes in gory detail.

The writers are very hip and knowledgeable and make me laugh like crazy! I couldn't stop laughing at many of the summaries of 24, my favorite show. They give nicknames for all of the main characters: Teri Bauer (Jack Bauer's wife) they called Bride of Kiefer, Kim (his daughter) they call Spawn, Sherry Palmer (Senator David Palmer's wife) they call Lady MacPalmer---like the bad-ass Lady Macbeth. Check out the writing on this site! As much as I love 24, they had me heehawing at the show's patterns and inconsistencies.

Here's a sample of their recapping of the Fox show Joe Millionaire:
_____________________
Cut to Evan, who is still getting wine lessons from Paul. That Paul is magic! He greets the women and still manages to fit in some wine lessons! Paul tells Evan that part of tasting wine is getting the aroma, so you should take a sip of wine and then "suck the air over it between your teeth." Evan takes a sip and then makes a prolonged slurping noise, kind of like he's gargling with the wine. I don't know how Paul didn't fall down laughing. Evan eventually chokes and starts laughing at himself.

Back to the women. Melissa Jo is going on and on about the house. Another woman moves away from the window and knocks a lamp to the floor. Someone yells out, "You break it, you buy it!" Um, this isn't the local Wal-Mart. I don't think those rules apply here. That's one of the things that bugs me about this show. They are going to all these lengths to teach Evan how to appear rich, but it really doesn't seem like any of these women would know the difference. They're hardly from high society themselves. Paul continues to quiz Evan on the wine choices. In an interview, Erica, 32, a physical therapist, says that she could get used to living in a castle. Erica looks about forty-two. I don't mean to harp on the ages here, but every time a number appears on the screen, I burst out laughing. Two women look out the window and talk about how they could imagine getting married on the grounds.

More arrivals. Jen, 23 and an office coordinator, squeals, "I am so a real-life princess right now!" She's the first one who claims to be under twenty-five that I believe. Do you think the producers coached them to talk about fairy tales and princesses, because this is a bit much, really. In an interview, Jen says that it would be awesome to tell people, "I met my husband on TV and millions of people shared in our fairy tale." That puts the fairy tale count at five. Also, if someone told me that, I would find it gross and kind of frightening.

Posted 9:35 AM by Blah blah

Ending our Group Blog?

A whole bunch of you writers have been leaving Tiger Cafe. Seems like most of you prefer to read but not to write? Anyway, I'm thinking of stopping the group blog entirely and going back to writing alone. I don't want to have to pressure people to write regularly. I'd rather have people write if they really have something they are dying to say.

Do we need a change in focus? More focus? More variety of people? Less frequency---once a month?

As I said before, sometimes I wonder why the hell I'm doing this. I try to write for an audience, which is why feedback is important to me. The less feedback I get, the less I want to write for others. Lately I've been writing more just for myself---notes, bookmarks.

Maybe the time has come to turn this back into a simple webpage for my friends only, instead of a general audience. Where I just post some pics of what I'm doing, just talk about personal and friend news, etc.

What do you think?

Posted 12:17 AM by Anonymous

Partake in our wedding by sending a postcard

Our wedding theme is TRAVEL and one of the things I want to do is create a guestbook full of postcards with well wishes, boarding passes, and any other travel related items brought by our wedding guests. This guestbook album will also be full of postcards from those that can not attend or perfect strangers much like yourself who would like to take part of our wedding.

Ideally, I would have at least a couple of pages already made with postcards received so I can show my guests what the pages will look like. It should make a great coffee table book, eh?

Send a postcard to be a part of our wedding

We want any postcard that feature the city, state or area of where you live, especially international postcards; it can be scenic, cheesy monuments, funny/corny,or even your own artwork/photograph. Anything related to travel!


Send by July 31, 2003:
Mona & Raven
P.O. Box 630484
Irving, TX 75063





... those who write their return addresses will receive one of our Wedding Magnets* for free! Yes, it looks awfully like the save the date magnets doesn't it? And yes, we're about to change domain name to urbancouple.com, but it's a novelty :-) Everyone who sends us one will be mentioned on our wedding site and we may possibly even scan all the postcard for all to see.
* while supplies last

Ben - would you send us one of your originals like you sent Colette?

Posted 3:43 PM by Blah blah

Sunday Dinner Party

Jane invited me to her house for a dinner party Sunday. She's the one wearing black and sitting on Sophia's lap. You see the only Indian guy in the pix? That's Moorthi, whom I mentioned below. Saturday my friend Dolly invited me to her house for a Chinese New Year's Party, and Sophia will join us. Excuse the picture quality. I didn't take them! There's one godawful one I'm not showing, in which we're all looking different directions, and Bill has his hand up a lampshade.

Click on these pix to enlarge:

Posted 9:36 AM by Blah blah

Secrets of a Master Networker

I think I'll let Pjammer do the blogging for me and just link to him. He always brings up the most thought-provoking and useful stuff.

Navigating the Corridors of Power - Meet Keith Ferazzi.

10 Secrets of a Master Networker (Inc):
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"It's about a personal connection that makes you feel a sense of reciprocity," Ferrazzi says. "Superficiality is not networking. There are people who have lots of superficial connections, and people call that networking. But that's not successful. You feel dirty when you talk to someone like that. The outcome of good networking is the capacity to have a conversation with anyone you want to have a conversation with and then to leave that conversation with a lasting connection of some sort."

The best sort of networking occurs when Ferrazzi can connect two people who don't know each other. Which drives home a surprising implication: the strength of your network derives as much from the diversity of your relationships as it does from their quality or quantity. Most of us know the people within our own profession and social group, and little more. Ferrazzi makes a point of knowing as many people from as many different worlds as possible. The ability to bridge those worlds is a key attribute in managers who are paid better and promoted faster, according to an influential study conducted by Ron Burt, a professor at the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business.

The care and feeding of contacts is a relatively new concept for the business networker. In Power! How to Get It, How to Use It, a 1975 self-help screed on the secrets to becoming a corporate chieftain, Michael Korda advised that "masters players ... attempt to channel as much information as they can into their own hands, then withhold it from as many people as possible." That is, 30 years ago old-style connectors attained power through a monopoly of information, whereas today people like Ferrazzi view the system as social arbitrage, a constant and open exchange of favors and intelligence. It's a sort of career karma, too; how much you give to the network determines how much you'll receive....

"You, me, every one of us -- we have our peer set, and we can always have dinner parties with our peer set, but if you keep having dinner parties with your peer set, why would somebody two levels above your peer set ever come to your dinner parties?" he asks. "The point is, you don't randomly invite somebody two levels above your peer set to your dinner and expect them to come, because they won't. They want to hang around people of their peer set or higher. This is a crass way of talking about it, but this is the formula."

So Ferrazzi developed his theory of the anchor tenant. "What you do," he says, "is find somebody in your peer set who has a friend who is two levels above -- the big swinging dick of the group, the anchor tenant. You get them to come and, in all invitations subsequent to that, you use the anchor to pull in people who otherwise wouldn't attend."
_________________
In some ways this sounds like what you do when you blog. I've always enjoyed bringing people from different worlds together. It's partly why I made Tiger Cafe a group blog in the first place!

For example, I introduced my college friend V to her boyfriend (my coworker) in 2000, and they are still together. I helped arranged a lunch for them to meet and watched how they got along. I'd become friends with this marketing VP girl in 1999 and so arranged a dinner for her, V, and other marketing type girl I knew.

The best Internet networking organization I have found is Ryze, founded by Adrian Scott. I met Adrian at an Asian party in San Francisco, and this incredibly accomplished guy is a networker par excellence! Ever since, I've tried to introduce people, especially business-minded entrepreneurial people I know, to Ryze.

Recently, I met this Indian guy named Moorthi at a salsa dance class. We've become friends. He is a rare guy, interested in both software (trying to start his own web services company) and film (trying to make small films). He also owns an Indian restaurant on the Peninsula. He invited me to a volunteer meeting of SVASE (Silicon Valley Association of Startup Entrepreneurs), which we had at Deloitte & Touche. This group is trying to expand internationally. SVASE's goal is to be a networking group for entrepreneurs, governments, and other groups worldwide to connect to Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. Now their international outreach group is working to build contacts in various countries with chambers of commerces, governments, companies, etc. so that if local companies here want to expand internationally, they will have an infrastructure of contacts in place.

In 2000 I was a tireless networker, and I have come out of my slump from last year and started hitting the pavement again, meeting more and more new people. V used to say it seemed like I knew half the Bay Area, which is a huge exaggeration. But I have never gotten tired of meeting and absorbing the essence of new people. At International House Berkeley, we'd have a big turnover of students, but I loved it and absorbed as much as I could. Each semester we'd get at least 200 new residents, and I'd be out there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, meeting people. I never got tired of that initial interview, of that small talk that leads to the revelation that you two strangers are connected in some ethereal way.

Thanks, Pjammer! This article inspires me to hit the phones, the road, the party invitations, and the emails again. It's good to know that I'm not alone.

Posted 7:49 PM by Blah blah

Tired of Blogging

First, it was Mira's birthday yesterday!!! Happy Birthday, Miss Quirky Sound Effects!

Second, I'm getting rather tired of blogging. We don't have the dialogue or give-and-take here we used to. I find I'm using this blog as a placeholder for thoughts I want to read again and feel like I care less about the audience. Part of it is my fault too. I haven't really read other people's blogs for a while, either. There comes a time when you want to get away from the lives of people you may never meet and focus on those whom are tangible and right before you. A time when you are tired of speculating and eager to accomplish.

I see many people come here but who never leave comments any more. And I wonder, do we really have a connection, or it is like sharing your diary with a neighbor who speaks only Russian? Should I be focusing more of this energy I use to unburden my thoughts into people in real life, in my goals for the future?

I don't know. Maybe I'll give Tiger Cafe another month. I've been writing this since October 2000. Tiger Cafe will be one year old by next week.

My life is too young to be spent retelling old stories. I must live more fresh experiences and write less. Friends is ending by next season. So is Sex and the City. Maybe it's time to pull the plug and for people to keep in touch with me the old-fashioned way.

Posted 7:46 PM by Blah blah

Best Thriller in History: 24, with Kiefer Sutherland

I've been going gaga over the Fox TV show 24 recently. I bought and watched the entire first season here at Amazon.com for a very affordable price. And I was riveted!!! Basically, it's better than James Bond, better than Mission Impossible, and more real than Alias. The writing and acting are superb, the characters are three-dimensional, and I was gripping my sofa the whole time and could barely come up for air! More info on the cast and crew.

Here's a revealing interview with Kiefer Sutherland, the main actor.

This show is unique in TV history. Each hour of the show equals an hour in the actual time of the hero's life, so that by the end of the season, you've watched just one full day in the hero's life. It's essentially a 24-hour-long thriller movie!

Read the tons of five star reviews here at Amazon.com for a flavor of the show. For example:
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As most people who watch television know, every show out there has a dud episode that simply exists as filler. But with 24, the case is different. Yes, there is a silly subplot introduced late in the season that's obviously there just to take up some time (let's just say it involves amnesia), but even at its weakest, 24 is still capable of providing more of an adrenaline rush than three summer blockbuster actioners combined. Yes, that's how thrilling this series is, and when you factor in the great characters, complex script, and Stephen Hopkins' surprisingly adept eye at mixing high-octane thrills and touching drama, then you've got yourself an innovative, masterful thriller that follows through on its real-time concept with verve and supreme confidence.

For those unfamiliar with 24, the plot revolves around CTU agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland). He's having a little trouble at home around midnight, when he finds that his estranged daughter, Kim (Elisha Cuthbert), has run off for the night. Before he and his wife, Teri (Leslie Hope), can serach for her, he's urgently called to work; it's believed that within the next 24 hours there will be an assassination attempt on Senator David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert), a black presidential candidate who stands a good chance of becoming the next leader of the free world.

Plot-wise, that's all you need to know. The joy of the series comes from the unexpected plot twists and the crescendo in suspense as you wonder how Bauer is going to get himself out of this mess he's in. Yeah, there are some minor plot contrivances here and there, but they're hard to notice, and it's only after some extreme nitpicking you're going to notice a few flaws. The central storyline holds together amazingly well and never bogs down in confusion. The script also adds a lot of little nuances in the plot that'll put a smile on your face (watch what Sutherland does in episode 4 when he's desperate to interview a prisoner).

In concept, 24 probably sounds easy and gimmicky, but in reality, the show must have been ridiculously hard to pull off. Little details such as traffic light can no longer be ignored. Action must immediately pick up from where it last left off and the filmmakers have to juggle several subplots together without forgetting the constraints in time. And somehow, they pull it off. Not for a moment does the series ever lose momentum or drag in pacing. Not for a second did I ever find myself less than completely engrossed by the converging subplots. And I most certainly never contemplated pressing the fast forward button (I watched 24 on DVD).

24 delivers its share of action sequences. There are shootouts, chases, and cat-and-mouse games, which might sound requisite and perfunctory, but all the action here is tightly choreographed and work in service of the story. Thus, the tension is ratcheted up a few notches during some of the gunfights and chases. The final episode is probably the series' most thrilling segment; capping off with a two-fisted gun battle that actually resonates on a dramatic level and then a shootout between two passing cars, a "money shot" scene if I ever saw one.

An aspect of assassination plots that's always bugged me is that the guy whose life is in danger is usually nothing more than a macguffin to drive the plot forward. 24, thankfully, doesn't fall into this trap. As played superbly by Dennis Haysbert, Palmer is a fully developed flesh-and-blood individual who's ultimately compelling and likeable. The turmoil developing in his campaign an inriguing dimension to his character that a lesser film or series would have ignored.

Good as Haysbert is, it's Kiefer Sutherland who steals the show. After years of second-rate roles and glorified supporting performances, Sutherland finally gets back on track, showing why he's one of the most underrated actors around. Simply put, he delivers the best performance of his career, creating the perfect balance between tough action hero and everday family man. Leslie Hope is equally as good as his wife, Teri, carrying a Lion's share of the series' emotional baggage and pulling it off without a hitch. It's a pity she didn't get a nomination or two for her terrific work. The rest of the cast is quite good, though Elisha Cuthbert has gotten some criticism here and there. It's not a bad performance, but admittedly, she's least convincing when she shouts.

24 ends on a surprisingly powerful note, a dramatic punch of a final scene that transcends this series from great entertainment to the realm of cinematic masterpiece (okay, no complaining, I realize this is still TV). Just ask yourself if any of the other networks would have had the guts to end it the way they did. Kudos to the series creators and Fox for delivering such a memorable conclusion. The main story arcs are resolved, but everyone has a price to pay. 24 is, without a doubt, the best show on television today and I absolutely cannot wait for season two.

Posted 7:02 PM by Blah blah

An Open Letter to Blogdom
or, an Unqualified Jackass Shares an Opinion No One Asked

by Sour Bob in Chicago, a guy working through his divorce. Bitter, but true!

After belatedly joining the blog community, Sour Bob has performed an exhaustive survey of the medium, and has come up with the following list of talking points he hopes his compatriots will take into consideration.

1. There are a limited number of people in the world who give a shit what kind of bubble bath you use. Maybe you could come up with something to say, rather than regurgitating an exhaustive laundry list of the inane crap you did today.

2. Congratulations! You're the 1000th blogger to post that same goddamned Apple link. Corporate America® thanks you for doing its marketing for free.

3. Enough already with the animated icons. What are you fifteen frigging years old? You are? Um, sorry. You probably have enough problems. Pay no attention to the bitter old man.

4. A tiny 72 dpi picture of your cat looks exactly like a tiny 72 dpi picture of anybody else's cat. Post a picture of an interesting dog or don't bother.

5. A flag! "God Bless America"! So you know the word "patriotism." How about "jingoism"? Familiar with that one?

6. You do web design? And you have a blog? What are the odds?

7. The last thing the world needs is another news-obsessed 25-45 year old white guy endlessly republishing every link having anything to do with "The War on Terrorism." Kudos for staying informed dude, but maybe you need a date.

8. Cheers to the goth kids, who've brought their maudlin, achingly predictable rants from sticker-covered spiral notebooks to computer screens the world over. Like, no one understands them, you know? Not even the scores of other goth teens with their own blogs.

9. It's a good thing you wrote a somber reflection on 9/11. I was having trouble finding anything on that.

10. Your poetry sucks, hon. Seriously. Maybe you should focus on bubble bath.

11. You found a ten question quiz telling you which of a handful of odious pop culture figures your personality vaguely resembles? How precious!

12. I am not going to PayPal you any money for the "privilege" of reading your blog. Get over yourself. I save my PayPal money for eBay and pornography just like every other embittered insomniac Internet addict.

Posted 4:04 PM by Blah blah

Should Men Look As Good As Women?

Article from AskMen, by Jordan Stein:

I don't know where this notion that men should look as good as women came from, but I'd like to have a few words with the guys who put it out there.

For years, we were cruising. We were investing minimal time and effort in our appearance and still netting quantifiable results with the opposite sex. Where our demands prompted some women to make meals out of celery sticks and others to contend with the excruciating pain of ever-decreasing bikini lines, theirs were pretty easy to indulge. We were the fortunate beneficiaries of rock-bottom expectations.

Then, suddenly, a tidal wave of change was upon us. I can't pinpoint the exact timing -- I was too young and too oblivious to shifting patterns and trends back then -- but it occurred around the tail end of the century and it forever altered the male condition. An explosion in men's products, magazines, models, and fitness left ordinary guys excuseless for not looking their best. And there was absolutely nothing legions of couch jockeys could do about it.

keeping up with the janes
Aesthetically, I think, women are supposed to outclass men and I, for one, was comfortable with that. Still am. If turning more heads than the fairer sex were up there on my "to do" list, I'd relocate to northern California. Yet I find myself suffering in silence because the guy on the cover of Men's Health is making me feel inadequate about my physique. If this is how it feels to have society's concept of beauty constantly rubbed in your face, I'm not interested.

But my lack of interest, unfortunately, is no match for my lack of choice. I don't want to hop on the bandwagon, but I know that if I don't at least tailgate, my stock could go the way of Enron. Necessity, it seems, is the mother of reinvention.

new and improved
The new me now wails on his abdominal muscles three days out of a week, drops a hundred dollars on a pair of jeans because the yummy clerk assures him that they “hug” his ass and squanders precious shower minutes exfoliating his face.

The new me considers the ritual of kneading dry skin with moisturizer to be nothing more than a geographical hazard of living in an unforgiving climate and remembers to throw on designer bowling shoes before going out, because the new me's friends will disown him if he ruins their chances of getting into a cool club.

The new me drinks lots of water to restore life to a chalky complexion, wears trace amounts of good cologne, doesn't let his fingernails get to be bite size, and even likes to layer.

By succumbing to an imposed construct of hotness, the new me has become society's bitch.

great expectations
Since stepping it up, I've had the occasional woman tell me I smell good or comment favorably on my shirt, but they're not surprised. It's not like they're thinking, Wow, it's about time he hung up the sweatpants and retired the baseball cap. On the contrary, they expect this level of decorum from me, from you, from all of us.

I'm being forced to work twice as hard for a fraction of attention, but I guess some is better than none. When I leave the house, I'm surrounded by multitudes of well-dressed, well-groomed automatons who, like me, still begrudge the fact that somebody raised the bar on the male ideal while they were fast asleep.

In the aftermath of the rude awakening comes the sense that trying to look as good as women is a near impossible feat. They have an uncanny ability to draw stares, notwithstanding great or average looks. They have flowing hair, ours recedes. They have natural curves, we have gym memberships. They can entice with ample cleavage, we can disgust with abundant chest hair.

lessons learned
I've learned that sticking to a program designed by somebody who spends their days racking my weights makes me look better in clothes -- a potential first step in getting a woman out of hers.

I've learned to reduce dressing to its most basic elemental form, which serves the dual purpose of ease and expediency: Dressy and casual, perfect and imperfect.

The Perfect Look
The perfect look is slick. It's the most expensive dark suit you can afford; a tailored pair of slacks and dress shirt, a thin merino or cashmere sweater, and classic leather shoes. It's spending a little more on items you know are going to last.

The Imperfect Look
The imperfect look is paired down and slightly unkempt. It's a cool pair of stonewashed jeans, an untucked shirt that doesn't drape below the mid-thigh, a solid color, casual sweater, a fitted T, and a few days' growth. It's shopping at stores whose prices end in eight.

The upside to this entire fiasco, on those days when my glass is half full, is that the exercise will probably make me healthier and the extra time spent grooming should help me look my best. The downside is I'm not sure who I'm doing it for.

I still don't think men should look as good as women. I still don't think we can. I do think, however, that we need to look our absolute best, or else face the wrath of a very vain world. You know, the same one women have been living in all along.

Posted 10:46 PM by Blah blah

Photos of Vienna Teng on David Letterman Last Night

Eric, as usual, was remarkably thorough. Check out his photos of Vienna from the TV last night! Go Vienna! Wow, she got to sit next to Dave. That's a big thing in itself.

Posted 12:44 PM by Anonymous

Le Cinema de Shrub



The photo on the left is from an anti-war sign that I shot at the San Francisco Anti-War Protest on Saturday. The picture on the right or "Frodo Has Failed" was sent to me the other day. I enjoy it when political satire crosses into movie parodies, especially ones that are as well done as these...

Posted 12:16 PM by Blah blah

Latest photos. DSL and wireless at last!



Here are my latest two photos. Go to the Dec. 2002 folder. We were seeing a play at this theater in San Francisco, by the American Conservatory Theater. I just went to a dinner party last night, so more pix coming up soon!

We finally got our DSL connection! And tonight we bought wireless adapters for our laptops, so I can use the Internet around the house, wire-free!!! BLOGGING FROM THE BATHROOM, here we come!

Posted 9:30 PM by Anonymous

Calling it quits

I have been wrestling with this decision for a few weeks now, but I'm just now getting around to taking some action. (That should give you an indication of how hectic my life has been lately). After a lot of thought and consideration I have decided that I am going to resign as a co-writer for Tiger Cafe.

When I first signed on here I was really enthusiastic about the opportunity because there were tons of other talented co-writers here, and I would have an opportunity to give greater visibility to my writing. I think it worked fairly well for a while but at some point it stopped feeling like something fun and started feeling more like work or an obligation that went on my lengthy "to-do" list each week. So what it basically comes down to is that I haven't had enough time to make writing here a priority. Since I know Raymond likes to have everyone write about once a week I started feeling guilty when weeks would go by or when the week would be drawing to a close and I couldn't think of anything interesting to write about or even worse didn't have time to write.

What's going on? Well a lot actually.

Finalizing May 10th wedding plans. We had most of the major things taken care of but its the details that kill you. The next few months are going to be a little stressful for both of us. My current stance on marriage: alope if at all possible!

Work. As usual work has been really hectic of late. I have been working hard to get this project I'm working on delivered as well as trying to study for my Siebel certification in the evenings. I'm supposed to take the exam Jan 30th.

Future Planning. If anyone has been keeping up with Mona they'll know that she is planning on going back to school for photography in the fall of '03. Not only that but we will be moving to San Francisco as well after the wedding. Just trying to get everything lined up to make that successful has been a major headache for me in a lot of ways so far, and will continue to be for some time to come. Admission, selling our stuff, finding housing, etc.

Website stuff. Recently I came to the realization that hosting our wedding website on my home computer connected to the internet with a cable modem was a woefully inadequate solution. I didn't run into bandwidth problems, but rather too many users connecting at once causing the server to be down for some users. My fear was that when our guests went to RSVP online the site would be unavailable or too busy and they would get frustrated and say to hell with it. So I signed up with a hosting provider and am in the process of converting all my ASP scripts to PHP (and learning PHP at the same time) so we won't have these problems. I'm also trying to correct a few design mistakes along the way. All in all a gargantuan task.

So, given all those things I just don't think I have time to devote myself to writing anything of any quality for Tiger Cafe at this point. I do plan to keep up with everyone here and comment on the posts as I see fit. I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for reading my stuff and taking the opportunity to get to know me a little. I'm certain Raymond and I will keep in touch so I won't be dropping off the face of the planet or anything; I may even ask to come back at some point. Hopefully the invitation will be open if my life calms down anytime soon.

I wish you all the best. Take care!

Posted 3:18 PM by jc

Um, I guess this my entry...?

---

Drainage
Beth later said she was in the bathroom for just a few minutes. John disagreed; at least twenty, he said. Who knows how long she tarried there, moments after the proposal. Funny he should be comforted by the idea that she had remained for so long.

She had been elated with the question. She had gone to the bathroom to freshen up after weeping happily at the proposal. Silly girl. I suppose it was quite a surprise.

Beth went to wash the happy tears from her eyes, and decided to remove the ring while she did so. All went well until she was set to return the ring back to her finger. Her hands were still wet.

She had watched it go down. She had been frantic to retrieve it. She had squatted there, crying, thinking, pouring over her options. Finally, after her three or his twenty minutes had passed, she had done what she could.


So she left to tell John.

Posted 6:36 AM by Blah blah

Vienna Teng On David Letterman! Mon, Jan. 20, 11:30 pm

You heard it! The Asian singer-songwriter-pianist Vienna Teng will be on national TV this Monday!!! She thanks her promoters at Virt Records.

She'll be a musical guest on Late Show with David Letterman (CBS), at 11:30 pm ET/PT.

Wow, congratulations, Vienna! Make sure to watch her Monday, everyone! I've met Vienna and seen her perform twice, at Eric's house. They say her music is like that of Tori Amos.

This girl is HOT now. She was on National Public Radio, on their Weekend Edition program! You may hear the broadcast and their interview with Vienna here:

Listen to Vienna's radio broadcast!

Posted 8:21 AM by Blah blah

Belle's Love Poems

In the spirit of the upcoming Valentine's Day, here are three love poems written by Belle. She selected and gave me permission to post them. Do check out her site. It's all-poetry, 24 hours a day. You need to soak in a bubble bath while reading her fine poems:

A Woman’s Lovesong

because I need to write in verses
to make you read my mind

slowly, with uttermost care.
I’ve embellished my tongue
with wine
so you could drink in there.
with you,
I’m drunk with metaphors,
I want you
that fragrance loses its smell.

I want you,
that colors are not enough.


I Can Make Him Feel This Way

I am the scent that
clings to his skin
melting my hands
which slide
the texture like that of
leaves
bathed with dew
I am the crinkle
of a smile
that defines his brow, I

am the dust under his shoes
the curl of his toes, the music
in his steps,
clutching my waist
turning me around and
around.

I am the word that rolls
behind his tongue
a magnet on his lips, I breathe
his essence,
in the mellifluous
utterance of my name,
the air bends
sending a rivulet into
bubbles,
palpitations at the tip of my hair
the murmurs
in the night,
the shade of fire in his
eyes.


Love Triumphant

it’s not the way he marvels
at the satin sheen of her skin
that makes him entranced
but the way she wears his locket
between her breasts
I think it’s the way she made his heart
pounding on his ribcage
when six decades ago she almost
said no, that day carried a tender
imprint
he had so much to thank for.

I think, it’s the throbbing pain of being able
to tug at the ribbon on her hair
and how the wind would spin circles
of light,
this time was no other
when she cultivates flowerbeds
that when he would be unable to bring
her flowers,
she would pluck them,
her arthritic fingers on petals
and both would recite those age-old verses
hopefully,
until a number of seasons
shall pass them by.

As Belle says,

I wish, I could seduce a man
with my poem,
to enslave him
between the commas,
and the line-cuttings.

Posted 9:55 AM by Blah blah

Sandy's Worst Date Ever

I'm stealing this from Sandy, who used to write for Tiger Cafe. When are you coming back here, you "nerd"? You "RET TO GO?" Hehe...it's HELLA funny. Hey baby, I ALSO listen to Wild 94.9 FM in my car. Picked it up from my Vietnamese housemate.

Sandy is so perceptive. Once I asked her "What kinda girl do you think is better for me?"
Sandy: "Oh, that's easy" and rattled off a list of qualities.
Me: "Yes yes!! How do you know so much about me?"
Sandy: "That's what I was looking for too---kinda describes my boyfriend."
Me: "So I need to find a female version of your boyfriend????!!!"
______________________
Thursday, January 09, 2003

As I try and recall the details of my date with "Sean" it sounds like a typical episode straight from "Blind Date." Annoying mannerisms, rude and disgusting habits, tactless gestures and outbursts, shameless sexual advances...etc etc. The only difference is that I KNEW exactly what to expect.

I have such bad judgement when it comes to dating guys, especially when I'm vulnerable and on the rebound. That's exactly what I used Sean for. (I'm just trying to justify why I did it) :p

I met Sean in my Educational Psych. class when I was attending SJSU back in '99. I was on the prowl for something temporary and fun. My ex and I had broken up for the Nth time and I took these mini-breaks to my advantage. I kinda saw it as "my time to have fun" and if I have to slut around in order to get some, then so be it!!!

Anyway, it was towards the end of the semester when Sean finally summoned up the courage to ask me out. He looked like and acted like my ex-boyfriend. I dont want to generalize or offend my fellow asians, but he was what you would call the typical Bay Area Asian boy. He drove a fixed-up Acura, smoked a lot (and did that squat and spit thing), listened to Wild 94.9 (mainstream hip hop/rap and dance music), spoke in Asian-ebonics, "rolled" only with his Asian posse, and wore nothing but Nautica jackets and Tommy Hilfiger t-shirts. It was actually kinda entertaining watching him present his projects in front of the class because he would always stumble and struggle to find the right words... "This was hella tight...I mean, really educational...."

Halfway in the middle of the semester we ended up in the same group. After months of months of endless presentations and stress, we all bonded and hung out quite often after class. We had met at a coffee shop across from campus to discuss our final presentation and Sean asked to "roll out" with him afterwards. He drove me back to my apartment and awkwardly asked me if I wanted to hang out with him sometime. I said yes and so my fate was sealed.

He picked me up the following Sat. night. He left his precious Acura at my place since he didn't want to run the risk of it getting "jacked" or whatever. So we drove out to the Beehive Bar, where he could get plastered and get his hip hop fix. The crowd was mainly black and there were a few asians tucked away in the corners dancing with the walls.

Sean headed straight to the bar and pounded down at least 4 shots. Our conversation was really awkward, and after his 4th shot of tequila he broke the ice by making a complete ass of himself in front of everyone. He'd scream, "yeah thats my jam babeeee! woot woot!!" (fists in the air and all) There was a couple next to us who were heckling him and mocking his drunken arm gestures. Oh man, they were dissing the only asian dude in the club, and I happened to be sitting right next to him.

Then he went and did it. As I sat there stone-sober and fearing this very moment.....He turned around, said something along the lines of, "it's time to get freaky", grabbed my hand and dragged me on the dance floor. I lasted about 5 minutes. He was so uncoordinated, so drunk and so obnoxious. I ended up dancing with another guy who probably felt sorry for me.

Soon he stumbled back to the bar and drank some more. I rejoined him later and the bartender suggested that I should take him home. Translation: Get this dumb ass out of my bar!

But this wasn't the end of my date. As soon as we got to my apartment I knew I couldn't let him drive home drunk. Knowing this and knowing that my mace spray had run out, I knew I was asking for it.

I dumped him in the middle of my living room floor and offered to make some hot tea for him. At this point, we had only exchanged a few pleasantries (before he got plastered) and idiotic out bursts (after the bar). I had no idea what his last name was.

When I came back out with his hot tea, he had miraculously disappeared. I had left him sprawled out on my living room floor and now *poof* he was gone! I checked the guest bathroom....nope, not there. I checked my roomates room (thank god he wasn't there that w'end), nope not there either. As I slowly inched my way up my hallway I had this creepy uneasy feeling that he was in my bedroom. I was right. I knew this immediately when I saw that my bedroom door was closed. I NEVER ever close my door unless I'm undressing. I opened my door and I found Sean BUTT NAKED in my BED. His clothes were thrown haphazardly all around my room and his tightie whities were hanging off my computer chair. He laid there with his hands tucked comfortably under his neck and his legs crossed in the air. He was also ON TOP of my blankets.

I said something like, "oh my God," he turned his face, smirked at me with his eyes half open and gurgled, "hey babe. I'm RET TO GO."

I slammed the door and ran into my roommates room, slammed that door and sat there. After the shock wore off I started giggling. I couldnt let the moment slip away so I called up one of my other classmates. Fortunately, she was a bit older and married with children, so was home to share the moment with me.

I never heard someone laugh so hard. She put the phone down and I could hear her repeating what had happened to her husband. We both concluded that I shouldn't let him stay the night and I needed to get him out of my bed. There werent any door locks to the bedrooms and I didnt want to risk getting smothered or raped by this weirdo. With my tennis racket in my hand, I cautiously opened the door to my bedroom. Surprisingly he was fully clothed, but he was still on my bed.

I woke him up and asked him to leave. He said he had to puke and I helped him to the bathroom. After about 2 hours of retching, he was finally sober enough to go back home. I knew that he was really embarrassed because he couldnt even look me in the eye. He asked me not to tell anyone in class about what happened (oops) and apologized for what he did. I told him that when he was sober enough, we definitely needed to talk things out. Well, that never happened. surprise surprise.

Let's just say the following Monday was 10x more uncomfortable. I avoided speaking to him during class but it was extrememly difficult not to bust out laughing everytime I looked at Rene (the girl that I had called). Everytime I met her gaze I had to literally choke down my laughter and excuse myself for the disruption. Sean never forgave me for snitching on him. How did he find out? Well on our last day of instruction, as we all got up and gathered our things, Rene nudged me and said, "HEY SANDY, YOU RET TO GO?"

Sean took one look at me and he knew instantly I was guilty. Little does he know that I use this little story as a "ice breaker" at social gatherings. muhahahhahaha.