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Saturday, April 27, 2002
I've added a lot of new people to my list of links. Here's one girl you should read: My kisses tasted like COGNAC. She's very heartfelt and reminds me of another Diaryland girl who I am not naming, who was the "Queen of Cheesy Romantic Entries." Well wake up! I have found a new Queen. :p) Her text is dark and hard to read though. I still think Diaryland writers are, on the average, the best writers. Must be the usual anonymity that causes people to spill their guts. Best wishes, Cognac!
Ernie's Blind Date Blog starts tomorrow. He already posted the pix of everyone involved. Hey, this guy Chris is too cool! See his site, Sexy Porky. Check out his funny emotion page. Like Eric Conveys an Emotion. Drat. I think I'm missing out on potential online friends by not joining LiveJournal. Another irresistable and fun tale to read from The Crime Library is the story of Eugene Francois Vidocq. His life is like an adventure movie. A former convict turned master detective, Vidocq's factual successes inspired world-class authors who borrowed his brilliance to embody their fictional heroes. Doyles' Sherlock Holmes character is much based on Vidocq; so are both Jean Valjean and Inspector Javert in Hugo's Les Miserables. Dickens mentions Vidocq in Great Expectations; Melville cites him in Moby Dick; and Poe refers to Vidocq's methods in Murders in the Rue Morgue. And there are more beyond these....WOW! His life is one of the most amazing adventures I have ever read. He's my new idol.
Crime: Dr. Jeffrey MacDonald I found this fascinating site called The Crime Library. Sometimes graphically violent and sexual, this site collects in-depth stories of the most notorious criminal cases in history, including O.J. Simpson, Nazi scientists, and lots of others directly from today's headlines. It includes crime fiction and analyses of why criminals do what they do. I warn you, this is not for kids to read. Some parts are disgusting but hold your interest in the way we feel when we see the worst depths of human behavior. I promise that you will never be bored. I was particularly interested in the case of Dr. Jeffrey MacDonald. This man had the background of an American "golden boy." From The Crime Library: "Their fairy tale life was taking shape: handsome, hardworking, brilliant Jeffrey MacDonald had been the quarterback of the high school football team, president of the student council, and voted by his peers as the most popular student and the one most likely to succeed. And succeed he did. After Princeton, he graduated from Northwestern University Medical School and did his internship in the prestigious Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center in New York City. He married the girl he dated in high school, the attractive and intelligent Colette Stevenson who had attended Skidmore College, while he was at Princeton. Shortly after they began dating steadily, Kimberly was conceived and their marriage had to be moved up a few years. The timing wasn't ideal, but they were very much in love and would manage somehow. After his medical training, MacDonald joined the Army and was later accepted into the famous Green Berets. They were stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The fairy tale became a horror story on the cold rainy morning of Tuesday, February 17, 1970...." On that day, MacDonald's 26-year-old wife and two daughters, two and five years old, were found brutally murdered. Some of their heads had been crushed. His two daughters had been stabbed many times with an ice pick. MacDonald himself called the military police at the base where they lived, and they found him beaten up with a stab wound. Eventually, the Army decided that HE was the murderer, that he had stabbed himself and faked his story of an attack on his family. Dr. MacDonald was eventually convicted of the murders and has spent the rest of his life in and out of prison, mainly trying to prove his innocence. He has endured many court cases and appeals and spent most of his money in fighting the charges. Before I read The Crime Library's version of this horrible story (told anonymously by a "top executive of an international Internet company"), I was inclined to believe him guilty. I read Joe McGinniss's intriguing story of this case, Fatal Vision, a while ago. While it may seem incredible that someone with such a bright future ahead of him would do something this awful and stupid, McGinniss convinced me at that time, with his details about MacDonald's infidelities with women and personal habits, which portrayed him as a slick narcissist and liar. This best-selling book was made into a movie. However, I did not know, until reading The Crime Library, that McGinniss had himself betrayed MacDonald. The journalist had lied to his own "friend." MacDonald later sued McGinniss for fraud. I also didn't know that later, Jerry Allen Potter wrote Fatal Justice : Reinvestigating the MacDonald Murders, which talks about the other side of this puzzling case. He argues that MacDonald has not received a fair trial and that the Army's bias has mishandled evidence. From Amazon.com: Finally, many years after Joe McGinniss's famous Fatal Vision, we have a well-documented argument for the other side of the Jeffrey MacDonald case--an argument that the prosecution mishandled key crime-scene evidence, withheld potentially exculpatory material, and even discounted confessions from other suspects. Whether you change your mind about MacDonald's role in the murder of his family, you will learn much about the case that puts it in a new light. For example, the army narrowed in on MacDonald as their prime suspect very early in the investigation, and discouraged the FBI from developing alternate theories. And the judge in the case, Franklin Dupree Jr. appeared to have been biased in favor of the prosecution. Janet Malcolm, the New Yorker writer who wrote The Journalist and the Murderer (about MacDonald's relationship with McGinniss), called this book "quietly convincing." Regardless of what you think about Dr. Jeffrey MacDonald, both sides of this sickening case make for compelling reading. Either he is a calculating criminal or his prosecutors have seriously ruined justice and this man's life. He is still in prison and has a website committed to his defense. Read MacDonald's latest words on the case, written just last month. Believe it or not, MacDonald won the right to get DNA testing for his case in 1997, but they are still not done, almost FIVE YEARS LATER. He is still waiting and has fought a frustrating series of delays.
Friday, April 26, 2002
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BeBeyond.com is a great place for Chinese speakers to learn English. If you are from China, please look at this! It's designed for people who want to study or work abroad and gives you help on applying for graduate school, etc. Most of its users are from China. Read this: "How to Speak Like An American?"
Zhongwen.com is a cool site for learning Chinese characters and culture. Vote in House Strongly Backs an End to I.N.S. (NY Times): "The House voted overwhelmingly today to abolish the Immigration and Naturalization Service and divide its functions between two new bureaus, one for immigration services like the handling of citizenship applications, the other for enforcement. The lopsided vote, 405 to 9, reflected lawmakers' frustration over the agency's missteps before and after Sept. 11. Indeed, the bill's sponsors said its provisions were only the beginning of a long process to overhaul the way the nation protects its borders, enforces its immigration laws and provides services to millions of immigrants."
Well the first run of "The Bachelor" is over! Alex picked AMANDA to be his potential mate.
Look at those video interviews on the website, of both the girls and Alex. They are pretty revealing. Trista's attitude reminds me of someone I dislike---kind of aloof and fake. Amanda seems like the right choice, and they seem to have genuinely fallen for each other. Watching Alex's interviews, I started to like him a lot. I could really identify with much of what he said, agreed with his decision-making process, and felt like I may have thought the same words in those situations. His explanation of why he rejected Shannon makes perfect sense, and I would have done the same. He sounds very thoughtful, respectful, and sensitive. Great guy. What did you think of him and of the girls? Note that Alex was not required to pick or marry anyone. And the girls were not required to pick him back. No one is under obligation, and the couple will still take time to date normally after this. This show also brings up the strategy of "speed dating" to save the hassle and embarrassment of suffering through too many bad blind dates. What do you think of speed dating?
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I can't believe no one responded to Heather's funny article about "The Bachelor" yet. Heather Havrilesky, I'm adding your Rabbit Blog to my reading list. In this devastating deposit box of wit, Heather puts a mock advice column and lots of cheeky lines like this:
"I keep checking my blog, hoping there will be a new post. I keep forgetting that, for there to be a new post, I have to post something. It's sort of like checking the refrigerator every few minutes, forgetting that nothing will change until you go grocery shopping." You keep thinking, man, why is this woman spending time here when she should be hitting the front page of the New Yorker or Esquire? Then you slap your head. She IS a professional writer. Duh... I wish more blogs could be like this. I wish more of you in China could laugh with me. I wish I could have an order of lamb gyros followed by a big bowl of humus and fruit salad with walnuts. Ok, the last one is a fantasy right now. Rule for Raymond: Never write your blog when you are hungry. ___________________ I am such a lucky man: Thank you, Grace, for carefully writing your detailed story about Lijiang! I look forward to digging deeper into it and seeing through your architect's eyes... Thank you, Christina, for being such a sweetie yesterday. :) Thank you, Rose, for lending a kind ear yesterday. How was your garden party? Will you be crashing a "knitting circle" next week? :p Thank you, Trixy, for your smilies. Yes, they are good medicine. While looking at more photos of Peg's baby, Ashlyn, I began to rub my eyes. Is she getting cuter or what??? Ashlyn at two weeks old. Ashlyn today. Ahhh, I feel MUCH better today.
Wedding Porn? "The Bachelor"
What do you think of this popular TV show which ends tonight, "The Bachelor"? In this reality show, 25 women compete for the affection of one man who, on paper, looks like he was ordered out of a John F. Kennedy fall fashion catalog. Heather Havrilesky wrote this Salon.com article that makes a lot of stinging points: _____________ ABC offers us TV's version of wedding porn, "The Bachelor," in which a dull but ultimately supernice fella navigates his own neuroticism to choose between 25 fluffy females in order to find his wife. It's "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire" but without the harsh game-show format and the tacky participants. Alex went to Harvard, we're reminded 50 or 60 times per show. Alex is a sweet guy. Alex wants a woman to spend the rest of his life with. Alex has been pre-selected for his ability to live up to the fantasy of kind, pretty, hollowed-out provider. The real question is, what's his motivation, or theirs? Why do the fluffy girls of "The Bachelor" and the bland heroes of wedding porn long for Egyptian cotton bath towels more than hot sex?... Not surprisingly, despite the fact that the show focuses on a running competition among the women, Alex seems to struggle the most with whether or not the women actually like him. He can't tell, because they uniformly want him to pick them -- instant, public validation, the engagement fantasy of being "chosen" writ large. These women want to win -- not just the ring and the Harvard guy, but the promise of being publicly redeemed from every rejection they've ever experienced on the road to this moment. While Alex's interest in them comes across as quite sincere -- he's already The bachelor, after all; now he just wants a relationship that's good enough that he won't feel like a jerk for being on the show -- their interest in him is debatable at best, downright dehumanizing at worst.... Alex wants to know who really likes him, apparently so he can consistently choose the women who don't. This isn't incredibly surprising when you consider the overall goal of the show, and of the glossy ring-shopping culture reflected in wedding porn: If your goal is to trap the poor animal at all costs, why wouldn't the animal be more attracted to tourists than to trappers?... [I like this paragraph the best.] While in wedding porn the bossy, self-involved girl always finds true love, in reality -- or at least on reality shows -- the truth is a little harder to swallow. With the average age of the bride increasing from 20 in 1964 to 27 according to the latest estimates, women have many more years to escape into the fantasy of being chosen, all the while becoming more neurotic and inflexible in ways that seem to lessen the possibility of fostering the kind of openness that's necessary for falling in love -- falling in love not with a gallant poster boy, but with a real human being. Our uptight, scattered heroine can stomp her feet cutely until someone spineless enough to cater to her every whim wanders up, but in the real world, it takes an ability to drop any preconceptions of "the dream guy" and follow your feelings, not your thoughts, to a person who makes you happy. A lasting relationship isn't indicated merely by the fact that he opens doors and brings home the bacon and accepts an endless stream of demands without complaint. Real love grows from two people accepting each other beyond the confinement of outdated roles and societal notions of what constitutes a desirable mate. Here's the Rice Bowl Journals discussion I started. The article's author even writes a blog, rabbit blog!
Grace's travel and architecture study in Li jiang,Yun nan province,China.This article was written by my best friend Grace.
Last winter, I had a travel to Lijiang in Yunnan province with my friends, taking photos and sketching. After seeing my photos and drawing, Professor Zhu asked me to give a presentation about my trip. It is my pleasure to introduce Lijiang to you. ¡ñ ¢ÙYunnan is the second largest province of china and is situated in the extreme south-west of the vast country. ¢ÚIn the north, Yunnan borders on Sichuan province, in the west on Tibet and Burma, in the south on Burma and Indo-china, and in the east it adjoins the Chinese province of Guizhou and Guangxi. ¢ÛYunnan is a high table-land. It has the southernmost snow range of the country named Jade Dragon Mountain. Some of the largest rivers of Asia, such as Yangtze River, flow across it. ¢ÜThe landscape varied extremely. And the meteorology varied not only in the horizontal direction but also in the vertical direction. For example, in the northwest the mountains are crowned by eternal snow, while in the south the province is partly covered with tropical jungle. On the top of the mountain, it is winter. At the foot of the mountain, it is spring, or even it is summer. ¢ÝSo Yunnan boasts more than 15,000 species of plants, more than any other province of china. ¢ÞAs many as 23 minority nationalities live in the province, also more than in any other. ¡ñ ¢ÙLijiang lies in the northwest of Yunnan, at the junction of 3 Chinese province of Yunnan,Sichuan,Tibet, and just at the foot of Jade Dragon Mountain. The meaning of Lijiang is a beautiful river. Like its name, Lijiang is one of the most interesting regions and certainly the most beautiful of the entire province. ¢ÚIn the northwest of Lijiang, there are mountains. In the southeast of Lijiang, there is plain.The Jade Dragon Mountain is located 16 miles northwest of it. About 10 high peaks rise to the skies, dominating the Lijiang plain. Lion Mountain lies half a mile west of it and is about 100 feet (30.5 meter) in height. Elephant Mountain lies 2 miles north of it, resembling a reclining elephant. The two small hills protect the city from the piercing wind of the sown range. ¢ÛThere are several springs at the foot of Elephant Mountain. These springs are the source of the Jade Stream. The Jade Stream divided into three branches at Double stone bridge, which is one and a half miles northwest of Lijiang. Since the altitude decrease in the southeast, the three branches flow briskly thought the city in varies directions, well draining and watering the city. ¢ÜIn short, with rivers in the front and mountains at the back, the city has favorable conditions. Choosing such place as the site of the city obeyed the rules of city planning in ancient china. ¡ñ ¢ÙThe original inhabitants here center on farming. During the latter part of the Han dynasty the Naxi tribe migrated south from their home in northeastern Tibet, centering on animal husbandry. They settled among the original inhabitants, and became the main nationality of Lijiang. ¢ÚThen trade became the most important activity in Lijiang. There are several reasons. First, as I have mentioned above, Lijiang lies at the junction of 3 Chinese provinces and some key passages. It has convenient land communications. There is a large floating population here, including several other nationalities. Second, the Naxi minority folk is friendly to others. It is said in Naxi fable that the Tibetan is their first brother, and the white folk is the second. So Lijiang became a big market. Different peoples carried their load to be sold. The commercial activities were going on day and night. ¢ÛThe marketing places appeared and became the center of this place. Around it were simple domestic buildings for dwelling and store. ¢ÜSince the trade tradition still remains in existence, by watching at today¡¯s markets we can image a brief outline about the ancient ones. This is the main market of today¡¯s Lijiang. It has existed for a long time. It connects with some principal streets. The buildings around this market and lining the streets are engaged in commerce. The majority of these buildings are of 1 or 2 storeys,1 for shop and 2 for dwelling. One branch of Jade Stream flows through it. A lock gate had been built across the stream for regulating the water level, closed in the morning and opened after the end of the market day. People use the water to wash the market¡¯s floor. The market¡¯s floor as well as the streets¡¯ floor are paved with slab stone. ¢ÝAs to the simple domestic buildings around the market, since the widespread virgin forest affords an abundance of timber, the majority of the buildings were of the well-frame type. Such well-frame houses are still extant in some desolate places today. The well-frame construction is generally rectangular in plan, built by piling up logs or square beams. Grooves are cut on one side or on both sides of these logs and beams, to ensure a perfect fitting together of them. If there is one thick wood post in the middle of the house, the post is called sky post. If there are two of them, they are called male and female post. The posts are some kind of the symbol regarding their ancient religion. Roofs are all of a hanging type. In other word, they are 2 sides roof. At the foot of ridge, there is a range of holes. It is said in Naxi fable that the god will go into the room through these holes. ¡ñ ¢ÙSince Yuan Dynasty Lijiang had been a part of the Chinese Empire. But the real power remained in the hands of the native chiefs. The Naxi king built his official residence at the foot of Lion Mountain, and led the Jade Stream encircling in the front of the square of the residence. The shape of the water is just like the Golden Water in the Imperial Palace of Beijin. Today the extant structures include the gate, the square, the water and the bridge. ( The gate was renovated ) The others have been rebuilt in recent years. ¢ÚAs far as Qing Dynasty, Chinese had taken over the administration of Lijiang. The Chinese officials moved their residence to the foot of Elephant Mountain, and built a wall around it. (Perhaps, it is the remnant of the wall) They also helped the inhabitants to build their own domestic houses. Up to then the construction of the city was in the main completed. ¢ÛBuildings follow the landscapes, freely extended along the streams. In addition, people¡¯s life has a close relationship with the streams. Therefore, the stream became the dominant factor in the layout of the city. ¢ÜThese photos describe several kinds of space of the streets. Paved with slab stone. The streams were often sandwiched between houses and streets. Different kinds of bridges over the streams, wood bridge, stone bridge, arch bridge, beam bridge. These photos describe the relationship between people¡¯s life and the stream. There is a spring in the middle of the street. And the altitude decrease along the street. The people built a special well which has three mouths, 1 for drinking, 2 for washing food, 3 for washing clothes. Then lead the dirty water into the drain. This is the main section of the Jade Stream. Since the crystal clear water beautify the environment, this place became the main entertainment area. All kinds of Shops are lining the street. Besides, there were also restaurant, teahouse, and theatre. ¢Ý ¢Þ (to be continued) ¡ª¡ª ÔÆÄÏÀö½ 2000ÄêÊî¼Ù½øÐб±·½¹Å½¨¿¼²ìʱ£¬Æ½Ò£¸øÎÒÁôÏÂÉî¿ÌµÄÓ¡Ï󣬹ÅÀϳÇǽµÄÁ¬ÔÆÜ¦ïô£¬±£´æÍêºÃµÄÖÚ¶àÆ±ºÅÉÌÐк;ÉʱÃñ¾Ó£¬´¿ÆÓµÄÃñË×·çÇ飬ÖÁ½ñÀúÀúÔÚÄ¿¡£2001Äê´º½ÚÆÚ¼äÎÒÓÖÀ´µ½ÔÆÄÏÀö½£¬Õâ×ùÓëÆ½Ò£²¢ÁÐΪ¡°ÊÀ½çÎÄ»¯ÒŲú¡±µÄ¹Å³Ç(ÖÁ½ñÎÒ¹ú½öÓÐÕâÁ½×ù¹Å³ÇÊܵ½´ËÊÀ½ç·¶Î§ÄÚÎÄÎï¹Å¼¶µÄ×î¸ßµÈ¼¶µÄÈ϶¨)£¬³ýÁËÒòµØ´¦Ôƹó¸ßÔºá¶ÏɽÂö·Ö²¼µÄµØ´ø£¬¾³ÄÚɽºÓ½»´í£¬¶øÓÐÁË±ÈÆ½Ò£¸üÓÐÀûµÄµØÀí¡¢Æøºò´ó»·¾³£»¸øÓèÎÒ¸üÇ¿ÁÒµÄÓëÆ½Ò£²»Í¬µÄ¹Û¸ÐÔòÊÇ£¬Àö½¹Å³ÇÓµÓÐÎÒÔÚÆ½Ò£¼û²»µ½µÄÒ»ÖÖÉúÆø¡¢»îÁ¦¡£ÔÚ³ÇÊС¢½ÖµÀ¡¢ÔºÂä¾ßÌå¿Õ¼äµÄÎïÖÊ»¯µÄ¡°ÐΡ±ÀÔк×ÅÒ»¹É²»¶ÏÉú³¤±ä»¯µÄ£¬ÏÊ»î¡¢Ìø¶¯µÄÁ¦Á¿£¬ÕýÊÇÕâÖÖ¾«²ãÃæµÄ¡°ÖÊ¡±£¬¸³ÓèÀö½¹Å³ÇÉú´æ¡¢·¢Õ¹µÄÔ¶¯Á¦£»Ò²ÕýÊÇÕâÖÖ¡°ÖÊ¡±£¬Ê¹Àö½¹Å³Ç²»ÏóÖйúÆäËûÀúÊ·ÎÄ»¯Ãû³Ç£¬ÔÚÏÖ´ú»¯µÄ³å»÷Ï£¬»òºÜ¿ìãýÃ𣬻ò¿à¿àÖ§³Å¡£ÎҸе½Àö½¶É¹ýÁË×îÄѵÄÒ»¹Ø£¬¶øÇÒÊÇ¿ì¿ìÀÖÀֵġ£ Òò´Ë£¬ºÃºÃÆÊÎöÒ»ÏÂÕâ¸ö¡°ÖÊ¡±ÊÇʲô?¡°ÖÊ¡±Óë¡°ÐΡ±Ö®¼ä´æÔÚºÎÖÖ»¥¶¯µÄ¹ØÏµ?¾ÍÏԵñÈÖ»°Ñ×¢ÒâÁ¦¶¢ÔÚ¡°ÐΡ±ÉÏÓÐÒâÒå¡£ ǰ³ÇÊн׶εġ°ÐΡ±Óë¡°ÖÊ¡± 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Wednesday, April 24, 2002
I still feel in an emotional and physical slump, but better. Was on the phone with my friend Jan. It has been several months since we last talked, and she noticed something about my voice. "You sound very tired," she said. "Not like before. Before you sounded like you were full of possibility, like you were a kid. Now you sound like you lost your energy. What's wrong?"
I hate it when that happens, but that's how I've been feeling for the last few weeks. Listlessness. Lethargy. Ennui. The sun is yellow and bright outside. The weather is cheerily warm and I can hear the kids splashing in the pool near my house. Damn this feeling of depression. It's like I have to play mental games with myself. I must distract my self-absorption. I must not care how my body feels. Just go. Produce. Christine told me once that she was "tired of always being the cheerleader," of being the monkey-grinder entertaining and listening to everyone else. That's how I feel now. I am good at cheering up people, but when I feel empty, I need renewal from people like you. It's good to have friends who are willing to inspire me, who can face life with a laugh, as I usually do. Thanks, friend.
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I've been feeling kind of depressed recently. This really cheered me up: Sesame Street's Elmo on Capitol Hill:
Elmo of Sesame Street attempts to eat the microphone as he testifies before the House Labor, Health and Human Services, Education Appropriations Committee hearing on Capital Hill Tuesday, April 23 in Washington. Elmo, a popular puppet from the television series, was testifying in favor of school music education.Go Elmo! Clare, in New York City, wrote a great entry on how she is unhappy with her body. She's sharp and witty and originally from Malaysia. Can't find enough of those in this hick town of San Jose. She's going on my list! Do you like the writer Ha Jin, who is from China but lives in America? His well known novel, Waiting, was banned in China two years ago. This week I just tried his book of short stories for the first time, The Bridegroom. It's very funny (especially "After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town") and gives an ironic view of life in China today. Here's an excerpt from Waiting. An excerpt from The Bridegroom, both from BookBrowse. Here's an interview with him. Here's something I posted in my journal on 7/29/01. You can tell a woman wrote this. She is ironic and matter-of-fact, like Ha Jin: The Woman Who Loved a Fish Once upon a time, there was a young woman who fell in love with a fish. This caused her parents some embarrassment when they went to church. When her father found out, he screamed: "What do you mean she's dating a fish!" "He's not an ordinary fish dear, he's one of those anthropomorphic fish." "Does he have a job?" "Well no, but he reads a lot, and he's very polite. He's really a very nice boy, dear." "He's an unemployed fish!" "Whatever." Eventually the young woman began to grow unsatisfied with the lack of sex in the relationship. She was also getting tired of him staying home all day and reading while she worked all day. The young woman decided to go to the witch who lived in the forest and ask her to turn her fish into a man. So she took the fish to the witch. "Well let's see here," the witch said, looking at the fish. "Very nice fish you got here---nice coloring. I'll take it. Now what do you want?" she asked the young woman. "This fish and I have fallen in love and I want you to turn him into a man," the young woman replied. "Is this true?" the witch asked the fish. "Yes ma'am," smiled the fish. "Did I do this?" the witch asked the young woman. "No, he was always a fish." "No, what I mean is did I make you fall in love with the fish? I have a few drinks now and then, and the next thing you know whole weeks are blacked out," the witch said. "I don't think so," the young woman said. "Ok, so if I turn this fish into a man, you go home with a man, and I get to keep the fish?" "If you turn the fish into a man, then there won't be a fish for you to keep, unless I'm missing something here," said the young woman with a quizzical look. "So we need to arrange another method of payment then?" asked the witch. "I think so." "Well ok, did you bring any money dear?" "I'm afraid I'm just a poor farm girl with no material possessions." "I'll change the fish into a man after you have worked for me for a year." The young woman agreed and went to work for the witch, sweeping, cooking, and sewing for the witch. Finally the year passed, and the witch turned the fish into a tall and handsome man. So the young woman and the tall and handsome former fish lived happily until the tall and handsome former fish left the young woman for a barmaid with long legs and a learning disability. Eventually the young woman found a young man who was slightly younger than her, but extremely gifted at oral sex, and they settled down. She often thought about the tall and handsome former fish and how stupid she was. She was thinking these every thoughts one day while she was fishing off the bridge. She felt something bite the hook, and she yanked the pole up. To her surprise, the fish called out to her, "Hey baby!" "Not another one!" she screamed. "It's me, baby. Don't you remember? We really had something special!" said the fish. "What happened to that barmaid you left me for?" the young woman scowled. "She left me, and when I wouldn't leave her alone, she got the witch to turn me back into a fish," said the fish. "Well come on dear, let's take you to the witch and straighten this out," she said to the fish. "Hello," said the witch as she answered the door. "Do you remember me? I worked for you for a year so that you would turn this fish into a man. It seems another woman had you turn him back into a fish," the young woman said. "Oh yes---I remember, lovely fish." "Well I'd like to make another deal with you." "What would you like, dear?" "I'd like you to make my breasts bigger, and in exchange you can have the fish," the woman said to the witch. "Baby! You can't do this to me---not after all we've meant to each other!" said the fish. "Deal," said the witch. So the young woman went home that evening fish-less, but her husband didn't seem to notice.
More translation by Jane for Christina:
I still like rainy nights. The summery scent of raindrops wafting through my window, mingling with Mariah Carey's songs coming from the distance. My puppy laying next to me. Time seems to be standing still, freezeframing everything into tranquillity, a kind of melancholy perfection. If there were a window with a full panoramic view, what would I be thinking now?
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Jane has been kind enough to put up with my requests for Chinese translations. I asked her to translate Christina's poem on April 16. Here it is, and thank you again! I am so lucky I have such an eloquent cowriter.
If you were spring
First, I want you guys to read Rasee of Sushi for Beginners. She's an Indian girl in Bangkok who has regularly been writing very sparkling entries in Rice Bowl Journals. She writes for a magazine and plans to come to the U.S. to study creative writing. She pursues her dream despite lots of conflict with her conservative father, etc. She's also bisexual and gives her perspective on that. Rasee, as a Libra, I was very touched by your writing. Very self-aware and sensitive, this lady has a wonderful combination of depth and sweetness. Warm wishes to you!
Second, I really wish my Chinese were better, Christina. I know you are writing something profound and poetic below, but I can only decode bits and pieces. How sad. You write about The Bridges of Madison County ( ¡¶ÀÈÇÅÒÅÃΡ· ), which was one of my favorite movies from 1995. I even wrote about seeing it here on 7/14/95. It was such a touching tale of lost opportunities in love. I've read the novel was very popular in China. Do you know that Robert James Waller has written a sequel to his first book, called A Thousand Country Roads: An Epilogue to the Bridges of Madison County? Despite the success of the first book, many people, including the large publishers, thought he could not improve upon it. They would not accept a second book. Here's the story of how it finally got published. Most people have said it is a bad book, as they predicted. People criticized the first novel too and said the movie was much better. Did you know that on the Internet, you can find the scripts of some of the most famous movies and TV shows? I love reading scripts. Here's The Bridges of Madison County (¡¶ÀÈÇÅÒÅÃΡ·) movie script: From Screenplay by Richard LaGravenese, March 24, 1994, First Draft. ... FRANCESCA Do you mind if I... ask you why you got divorced? ROBERT Not at all. I wasn't around much... So why did I get married? Well, I thought it was a good idea at the time. Have a home base. Roots. You can get lost moving around so much. FRANCESCA So what happened? ROBERT I never got lost. For some reason, I'm more at home everywhere than at one place. So I decided I'll think of myself as some kind of world citizen. I belong everywhere and nowhere. I'm kin to everyone, and no one in particular. See, once you get into the habit of not needing anyone, it's kind of hard to break. FRANCESCA You must get lonely at times. ROBERT Never touch the stuff. I've got friends all over the world. Good friends I can see when I want, if I want. FRANCESCA Woman friends, too? ROBERT I'm a loner, I'm not a monk. Francesca averts her eyes, before continuing her investigation. FRANCESCA You really don't need anyone? ROBERT No, I think I need everyone! I love people. I want to meet them all! I just think there are too many out there saying "This is mine." or "She's mine." Too many lines have been drawn. World's breaking apart because of man's weakness for some testosterone conquests over territory and power and people. He wants control over what deep down he knows he has no control over whatsoever and it scares him silly. FRANCESCA Why doesn't it scare you? ROBERT I embrace Mystery. I don't know what's coming. And I don't mind. FRANCESCA Do you ever regret it? The divorce, I mean. ROBERT No. FRANCESCA Do you ever regret not having a family? ROBERT Not everybody's supposed to have a family. FRANCESCA But -- how can you just live for what you want? What about other people? ROBERT I told you, I love other people. FRANCESCA But no one in particular. ROBERT No. But I love them just the same. FRANCESCA But it's not the same. ROBERT That's not what you're saying. I know it's not the same. What you're saying is, it's not as good. Or it's not as normal or proper. FRANCESCA No, I'm just saying -- ROBERT (interrupting) I'm a little sick of this American Family Ethic everyone seems to be hypnotized by in this country. I guess you think I'm just some poor displaced soul doomed to roam the earth without a self-cleaning oven and home movie. FRANCESCA (irritated) Just because someone chooses to settle down and have a family doesn't necessarily mean they're hypnotized. Just because I've never seen a gazelle stampede doesn't mean I'm asleep in the world.
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Monday, April 22, 2002
This English translation was done by Jane (thanks Jane), and the original Chinese article was written by Christina.
I haven't had a desire to confide in anyone for the longest time. Opening myself up will just expose my weakness and vulnerability and elicit some sympathy. I really don't care for your sympathies. In fact, I despise them. There is a word in the English language, "free," which is often used to describe the degree of liberty or uncontrolled will that's often associated with a lifestyle or pursuit of happiness. In my case, I can apply it to my heart by setting it free. I hope that wings will sprout from my heart and fly it away. I hope that it has boundless capacity. This solitary and barren chest of mine can no longer shelter my heart. I am truely saddened by it, but I don't know where it comes from, or maybe I did know but can't express it. Even now I still don't need your comfort. Tomorrow I will still live in anticipation and change. I can't imagine what I will be like when I am 30. No one ever told me how long was forever or how far away it was. I try not to think of too many people and too many things. An absence of feelings would make my life happy. Happiness originates from a pleasure in our feelings, but that pleasure is pulled in all sorts of directions by our surroundings.The world is always in equilibrium and the heavens will bless you with an equal amount of pain and pleasure. Even so, many people are still unhappy together, and that is why there is hope and separation. I know my happiness comes from communication, interaction with friends. Last weekend, a great friend from my school days invited me to go hiking with her. I have been living here in Nanjing for a decade and never hiked there. Zi Jin mountain must be a beautiful place. I am looking forward to it. I don't know how many more times I have left with Yuer, since she is preparing to become a architecture PhD student at Tong Nan University, and then she's going to study abroad. I treasure every opportunity we have together. Who knows when we will be separated, at the ends of the earth. We are all full of ideals, and just like someone said: "the harshness of reality seeps in like freezing wind into the crevice on a wall." I feel like a spectator standing afar, looking at all the people rushing through my life. I have lost the urge to grab and hold on to something. I don't know why I get so depressed seeing people come and go. Isn't it silly and ignorant of me to think this way? I am not waiting for any particular person; I am only waiting for the moment when a spark lights up my heart like a firecracker, no matter how brief it is. I know that one day, I will lie in bed asleep with a man---someone I call my husband. For a long time, that will be how things are. There is nothing that we can change; maybe that is what they mean by marriage?
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Just talked to a really nice lady today, Marian. She is a member of our political club and had called me to volunteer to help on our TV show. Turns out she is a freelance real estate agent and had worked for Coldwell Banker in Palo Alto for over 20 years. She was very kind and willing to answer all of my real estate questions. She offered to teach me and help me with how to buy a house. I have been thinking about it for a while, knowing I will be here in San Jose for the indefinite future, that I probably have no reason to move out of the Bay Area. Anyway, she was very thoughtful, thorough, and patient talking to me, which I really appreciated. With this very bad economy, I need to worry about other things first before I can invest in a house yet.
I have other things in my life where I need to make some big decisions later this year. Will let you know when I do so. My old classmate Thalia's friend, Julian, just came back from a long trip to China. Here is his story, with travel photos. Got a surprise email from Latékoé, a black French guy I met while I travelled in France over three years ago! We'll keep in touch. Hey, I might be interviewed on the radio in Japan!! My college friend Takuro, who started a small publishing company called Taiyo Shobo in Niigata, wrote me the other day. He has a friend who helps to book guests at a music radio station in Niigata, and she is looking for interesting people to have on their early morning show for 5-10 minutes. I wrote her and she called me last night. Next week I'll be talking to their DJ by phone about what's going in California. Pretty cool. It's my first time on the radio.
Sunday, April 21, 2002
I was looking for sites similar to mine when I stumbled upon Felicia! She's in the MFA program at Columbia in NYC and working her way to becoming a professional fiction writer! Check out her work profile, plus the online literary magazine she founded, Small Spiral Notebook. If you think you can write, they are accepting the fruits of your genius as well... Congratulations on your accomplishments and on "The Tourists," Felicia! I hope you get into the New Yorker one day.
Finding Work That Works for You (Harvard Magazine).
More crazy photos! You ask...I deliver. Yahoo Photos doesn't let you view high-resolution photos any more with normal service. Here are some random hi-res images I still keep in my Berkeley account. Enjoy! How do I get out of this bathroom? Rae, Christine, and I, last winter. Mountain View. Jennifer and I, singing at Tom's BBQ. Burlingame. Old men doing lawn bowling. Paris. Tiny musketeer. Paris. Mont Saint Michel---stunning! More photos. North coast of France. Mont Saint Michel, receeding water level. France. Monaco Yacht Club. Monaco. Raymond as the Statue of Liberty. New York City. Mwahhh! Kiss for liberty. Don't sneeze! More photos: Chinese New Year party for the CNetwork. (hosted by my friend Wei). FINALLY, here are the photos I took at my friend Dolly's house party! Here are some of my favorites: Ben, Helen, and their son Ethan (on left)
Spider-Man! Uh, I mean Dolly's 3-year-old son, Bryan. I lay on the floor to shoot this. Hey! His shirt color matches that of Tiger Cafe!
Whoa! Bryan naked. Sorry, this is PAY-PER-VIEW!
Dolly, Andrew, Sarah, Lisa
Kenny, Sarah. AWWW...
Sarah, Lisa. Awww...
Sarah keeping away from the press (me)
From Asia's birthday a few weeks ago: Two kids I met near the slide. The girl looks a bit like Amelie, no?
Alexander
Asia and I
Melanie and Asia playing "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"
Cheeeez
We think that girl on the right will grow up into a model. She knows how to respond to the camera!
"There...You happy now, Raymond???"
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