Posted 12:02 PM by Blah blah

I've been feeling kind of depressed recently. This really cheered me up: Sesame Street's Elmo on Capitol Hill:

Elmo of Sesame Street attempts to eat the microphone as he testifies before the House Labor, Health and Human Services, Education Appropriations Committee hearing on Capital Hill Tuesday, April 23 in Washington. Elmo, a popular puppet from the television series, was testifying in favor of school music education.

Go Elmo!

Clare, in New York City, wrote a great entry on how she is unhappy with her body. She's sharp and witty and originally from Malaysia. Can't find enough of those in this hick town of San Jose. She's going on my list!

Do you like the writer Ha Jin, who is from China but lives in America? His well known novel, Waiting, was banned in China two years ago. This week I just tried his book of short stories for the first time, The Bridegroom. It's very funny (especially "After Cowboy Chicken Came to Town") and gives an ironic view of life in China today. Here's an excerpt from Waiting. An excerpt from The Bridegroom, both from BookBrowse. Here's an interview with him.

Here's something I posted in my journal on 7/29/01. You can tell a woman wrote this. She is ironic and matter-of-fact, like Ha Jin:

The Woman Who Loved a Fish

Once upon a time, there was a young woman who fell in love with a fish. This caused her parents some embarrassment when they went to church. When her father found out, he screamed: "What do you mean she's dating a fish!"


"He's not an ordinary fish dear, he's one of those anthropomorphic fish."


"Does he have a job?"


"Well no, but he reads a lot, and he's very polite. He's really a very nice boy, dear."


"He's an unemployed fish!"


"Whatever."


Eventually the young woman began to grow unsatisfied with the lack of sex in the relationship. She was also getting tired of him staying home all day and reading while she worked all day. The young woman decided to go to the witch who lived in the forest and ask her to turn her fish into a man. So she took the fish to the witch.


"Well let's see here," the witch said, looking at the fish. "Very nice fish you got here---nice coloring. I'll take it. Now what do you want?" she asked the young woman.


"This fish and I have fallen in love and I want you to turn him into a man," the young woman replied.


"Is this true?" the witch asked the fish.


"Yes ma'am," smiled the fish.


"Did I do this?" the witch asked the young woman.


"No, he was always a fish."


"No, what I mean is did I make you fall in love with the fish? I have a few drinks now and then, and the next thing you know whole weeks are blacked out," the witch said.


"I don't think so," the young woman said.


"Ok, so if I turn this fish into a man, you go home with a man, and I get to keep the fish?"


"If you turn the fish into a man, then there won't be a fish for you to keep, unless I'm missing something here," said the young woman with a quizzical look.


"So we need to arrange another method of payment then?" asked the witch.


"I think so."


"Well ok, did you bring any money dear?"


"I'm afraid I'm just a poor farm girl with no material possessions."


"I'll change the fish into a man after you have worked for me for a year."


The young woman agreed and went to work for the witch, sweeping, cooking, and sewing for the witch. Finally the year passed, and the witch turned the fish into a tall and handsome man. So the young woman and the tall and handsome former fish lived happily until the tall and handsome former fish left the young woman for a barmaid with long legs and a learning disability.


Eventually the young woman found a young man who was slightly younger than her, but extremely gifted at oral sex, and they settled down.


She often thought about the tall and handsome former fish and how stupid she was. She was thinking these every thoughts one day while she was fishing off the bridge. She felt something bite the hook, and she yanked the pole up. To her surprise, the fish called out to her, "Hey baby!"


"Not another one!" she screamed.


"It's me, baby. Don't you remember? We really had something special!" said the fish.


"What happened to that barmaid you left me for?" the young woman scowled.


"She left me, and when I wouldn't leave her alone, she got the witch to turn me back into a fish," said the fish.


"Well come on dear, let's take you to the witch and straighten this out," she said to the fish.


"Hello," said the witch as she answered the door.


"Do you remember me? I worked for you for a year so that you would turn this fish into a man. It seems another woman had you turn him back into a fish," the young woman said.


"Oh yes---I remember, lovely fish."


"Well I'd like to make another deal with you."


"What would you like, dear?"


"I'd like you to make my breasts bigger, and in exchange you can have the fish," the woman said to the witch.


"Baby! You can't do this to me---not after all we've meant to each other!" said the fish.


"Deal," said the witch.


So the young woman went home that evening fish-less, but her husband didn't seem to notice.