Posted 8:45 AM by Blah blah

Globalization of Beauty Makes Slimness Trendy (NY Times):

LAGOS, Nigeria — With no success, Nigeria had been sending contestants to the Miss World pageant for years. Winners of the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria went year after year to the Miss World competition, and year after year the beauty queens performed remarkably poorly....

The Most Beautiful Girl of 2001, Agbani Darego, went on to clinch the Miss World title in Sun City, South Africa, last October. She became the first African winner in the contest's 51-year history....

The perverse reality was that most Nigerians, especially those over 40, did not find the new Miss World particularly beautiful.

The story does not end there, though. In the year since her victory, a social transformation has begun to take hold across this nation, Africa's most populous.

The change is an example of the power of Western culture on a continent caught between tradition and modernity. Older Nigerians' views of beauty have not changed. But among young, fashionable Nigerians, voluptuousness is out and thin is in.

"After Agbani won, girls look up to me and ask me how to get slim," said Linda Ikeji, 22, an English major at the University of Lagos.

"Before, fat girls were the rave of the moment," said Ms. Ikeji, who is 5 feet 8, weighs 130 pounds and now finds work as a part-time model. "Some fat girls thought they had an advantage over me. But Agbani changed everything."...

To anyone who has traveled across the continent, especially in West and Central Africa, the cultural shift is striking. In the United States slimness may be an ideal, but many ethnic groups in this region hold festivals celebrating big women. In Niger many women take livestock feed or vitamins to bulk up.

Among the Calabari people in southeastern Nigeria, fat has traditionally held a cherished place. Before their weddings, brides are sent to fattening farms, where their caretakers feed them huge amounts of food and massage them into rounder shapes. After weeks inside the fattening farms, the big brides are finally let out and paraded in the village square.

Ms. Darego, the same Miss World who has helped change young Nigerians' perception of beauty, belongs to the Calabari ethnic group — and thus may seem particularly unattractive to her own people....

"The average African woman is robust, has big hips, a lot of bust," he said. "That's what she offers in terms of beauty. It's in our culture." Mr. Calebs-Olumese, who is 56, drew a blank at the mention of lepa. Still, he acknowledged that he was "speaking from my generation's perspective."

Posted 10:51 PM by Blah blah

Reading a Girl's Intentions

I feel like a produce buyer, bumbling through the farmer's market looking for fresh meat and ripe fruit for you. Here's an excellent entry by Miss Sarah Hatter (thanks to Cheshire). I remember you, Sarah, from all those comments on The Date Project. Congratulations on publishing your first book!

By Sarah Hatter:

I am blind in one eye, at least when it comes to reading the opposite sex. I'm not too good at figuring out what a guy is trying to do---whether he's trying to date me or shut me up or both, I never can quite discern. But I'm pretty good at reading girls and not just because I'm a girl, because I'm not really a "girl." Anatomically speaking, I'm all female. I like kitties and babies and MAC. But I've never been girly, never squealed over a new purse or glared at someone talking to my man. I know those kind of girls, especially girls who wear pigtails.

I can call a girl's intentions a mile away, whether she really thinks you're interesting, whether she just wants some company, whether she's only talking to you because her ex-boyfriend is right across the room and she's trying to look involved so he'll be jealous even though they broke up months ago and he's already with someone else, it doesn't matter. Girls like this are preying on you, they're trying to get you to date them and buy them things and marry them. That's all they want, that's the only reason why they wear lipgloss in the first place and highlight their hair and giggle.

Any girl who wears pigtails is desperate to be cute, all she wants is for you to acknowledge her cuteness and ask her out. Go ahead, just do it, just say the pigtails are cute. I promise she won't wear pigtails every time. The pigtails are cute anyway, especially when she does that hip zig-zag part in the back. At least comment on it, or tug on one of them, just not to hard cause that took a while to do, okay?

If a girl ever asks your last name it is so she can match it to her first name. If she repeats it more than once she is practicing her new signature in her mind, not pontificating the beauty of your surname. After all, think about what your last name is. Why would someone repeat that over and over unless she was considering the way it would look on a statement for a joint bank account? A girl who is really interested in you will figure out a way to learn your last name (and the correct spelling) without asking for it. Trust me.

If a girl ever complains about guys always hitting on her, she's trying to tell you that she gets hit on a lot, and you should hurry and snatch her up before someone else does. She's creating competition for you, dear, not trying to intimidate you. She's initiating the chase. Don't sulk off thinking she's too good for you because other guys want her. No other guys want her, do you see them anywhere? That's because they don't exist.

If a girl ever notes an annoying characteristic of girls---say something like, "Oh those girls just want you to think they're cute."---but then mentions that she is definitely *not* like those girls, she is indeed just like those girls and is only trying to convince you that she's different so you'll find her more attractive. She's not any different, she's just like all the rest, and if she writes about how different she is on her weblog *you know* she's certainly no better than the rest.

In all honesty, I really am not a normal girl. I don't like my thong sticking out of my low rise jeans, I don't wear those God forsaken Italian charm bracelets or a backpack purse. I've never worn a screen printed T shirt that reads, "Angel" because I'm not one and I don't intend to convince people otherwise by means of a $15 shirt from Wet Seal. But I do have moments of weakness when I'll meet a man and immediately match my first name with his last name and wonder how long he'll save up to buy me that 1.2 carat trillion diamond with channel-set round sidestones in white gold that I've always wanted, I imagine him at the altar, his chin quivering as I walk down the aisle. I wonder what song we'll dance to (can he dance?), whether he'll mind a swing band playing Gershwin songs at the reception, I consider his height and what kind of breeding options we may have together. I wonder if he'll mind living on the coast, if he'd know what to order for me at a restaurant, what he thinks of Starbucks. I wonder if he snores, if he does I will mentally divorce him which won't be so bad, I can live with a starter marriage that didn't work out, after all we're both so young, we'd just sell the house and split the return. We'll remain friends but won't socialize much, I'll move on to his friend (or maybe he has a brother?), his last name starts with a "T" which would make my initials "SET..."
_________________________
"If a girl ever complains about guys always hitting on her, she's trying to tell you that she gets hit on a lot, and you should hurry and snatch her up before someone else does. She's creating competition for you, dear, not trying to intimidate you. She's initiating the chase. Don't sulk off thinking she's too good for you because other guys want her. No other guys want her, do you see them anywhere? That's because they don't exist."

This happened to me a few weeks ago. I had been playing tennis with a woman and we were having coffee. (Most definitely a woman. Not a girl.) My partner would occasionally lean over and touch me on the arm while we laughed and talked---always a good sign (say those in the know).

A tiny problem: she's taken. I usually find the taken girls the most flirtatious. Oh Sarah, sign me up for your course!

Posted 10:47 PM by Blah blah

Rasee just wrote this incredible entry about her lifelong addiction to words and their power. This woman just breathes eloquence. She gave me permission to post it:

"You are bone of my bone, and breath of my breath."

It used to amaze me that I have chosen the unlikeliest path I could have for someone with my origins. I was born and raised in a country where English was used sparingly before it became important, yet used incorrectly and with little grace. I was born and raised in family where English was only a second language, used for business rather than personal communication. What were the odds of me growing up to love the English language so dearly that I would be willing to commit my life to teaching it and learning to weave words together effectively and gracefully to express and connect and touch and tell stories from the heart? Sometimes I will sit down in a corner of my house to read, sunlight pouring in through an open window and a gentle breeze playing with the pages of my books, and I feel like I have found a home. It doesn't matter where I read--in a cold library with hushed conversation around me, in a restaurant with one hand twirling strands of spaghetti around my fork, in bed late at night when I resist sleep to finish a story, or sitting on a couch in Starbucks, shutting out the rest of the world by losing myself in words. I can lose myself in a book quickly, drawing an invisible shield around me that blocks out thoughts and people.

Sometimes I ache to write. The urge will hit me at the oddest of times and I will search through my bag for the little notepad I always carry, pull out my favorite ballpoint pen, and scribble words fighting for release. Sometimes all I will write is a line that makes very little sense, but that I needed to see so I could explore the thought or discard it. Sometimes I will write long letters to people I would never give them to, feeling so full of emotion at the person but knowing I have no right to share so much with them. Everything I see and feel and experience is immediately transformed into words--English ones or Thai ones or sometimes even Hindi ones--and I capture each moment that way. I cannot take beautiful photographs and I cannot draw or paint or create a sculpture to express my feelings, but I can write. Sometimes I can write in a way that can change a little of the world. My world. Your world. Sometimes I struggle with words, abandoning them when they resist being coaxed to form a picture, but it's not their fault. There are times when there are no words--just feelings that wash over me or moments that are too precious to try to capture--and I give myself time to let the words fall into place. They eventually do. I can count on words.

I receive e-mails, regularly now, from people who have been touched by my words. They tell me beautiful things--sharing their feelings and stories, telling me I've made them laugh or cry or angry--and I want to reach out and wrap my arms around each of them because those are times when words don't do justice to the gratitude I feel inside. Or the joy. My love in life does not have a practical use. I cannot mend broken bones or fix a car. I cannot defend you in court or manage your accounts or tell you what's wrong with your computer. I can teach you a beautiful language, though, and I can touch your heart with mine. Or I can try. I can create a world for you to lose yourself in. I can remind you that there is a heart so similar to yours. I can show you that there is joy to be felt if you only look for it. I can help you learn to create joy on your own. I can light the path ahead of you so you don't feel so alone. I can show you my scars so you are ready for them and know that no matter how bad things get, you will survive. I can remind you how beautiful and precious you are, and how much you are loved.
_________________________
You express so well and poignantly what a love for words means and yet how out of place it feels in the practical world. I totally relate, especially to your talk about your family. Amen, Rasee.

This is why I call her "The Dreammaker."

Posted 8:35 AM by Blah blah

Like my new font and colors? I write too much. Less is more. It's more poetic this way. Now I just need to make my pages all black. :p

Posted 2:56 PM by Blah blah

David Letterman

The funniest video clips ever (besides those on Ze's Page):

Dave TV: RealVideo clips from the Late Show with David Letterman. Incredibly hilarious! Avoid the Tony Mendez clips---they look like a typical bad skit from Saturday Night Live. They update Dave TV regularly, and you can see Dave's monologue almost every day!

See Jim Carrey turn the studio upside down on New Year's Day (12/16/99).
Dave and Steve (Martin's) Gay Vacation (10/2/98).

Since late night talk shows are unique to each country, all of you international readers, please check Dave out and tell me if you think he's funny.

I'm adding this to my list of funniest websites.

More on Letterman's business clout (Forbes), about his production company, Worldwide Pants. This company helps make Everybody Loves Raymond and The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn on CBS, as well as Ed on NBC. Fascinating how the entertainment business works.

Transcript of a thorough, revealing interview with Letterman by Charlie Rose in 1996. I discussed it here.

Remember the Letterman/Ted Koppel flap this March, during Letterman's contract renewal negotiations? ABC made a very aggressive offer to Letterman to jump networks and bring his show over, but they snubbed Ted Koppel and his news show Nightline, pissing off ABCNews in the process, when an executive said carelessly that Koppel's show was expendable.

I wrote a spoof of this fight for Letterman in March. Cheshire thought it was funny. Since Blogspot and YACCS are ultra-slow recently, I reprint it in full:
_______________________
Blogspot Blues

First my old site was down a few days, and now Blogspot can't load. Not having your own host sucks. I tell ya, I am fed up with how slowly this page loads. The administrators of my old host, alumni.eecs.berkeley.edu, told me they reinstated FTP in response to my protests. But for a month at least, I still wasn't able to get in. Turned out they had left out something for my account from the configuration. Damn it.

I am thinking of leaving Blogspot and either returning to my old site, which now works (if they ensure me permanent FTP access), or moving someplace like Diaryland. The writers are much better on average at Diaryland, while more likely to be anonymous, and I like the tighter-knit community there.

Imagine if we actually got paid for writing journals and drawing in an "audience in the prized 18-49 year old demographic." Like the whole David Letterman flap between ABC and CBS now, where each is offering him over $30 million a year to go with their network. Online advertisers would sponsor us with cash. Someone really popular like Winnie would be in salary negotiations right now like this...

Corporate suit from Blogspot: Good morning, Mr. Gan, how are you?

Me: Could be better. Haven't seen you guys since the virtual Christmas party, when I got stone drunk in that chat room. Do you need me to reduce my bandwidth or something?

Suit: Not at all, Mr. Gan, we just wanted to see how you are feeling in general here at Blogspot. It has been going on six weeks now, and headquarters has gotten lots of satisfied mail from the 18-49 demographic.

Me: Well it's about time I got some feedback. Hell, I guess you guys have been nice to me. The simple domain name I like. The ivory cigar trays were a nice touch. I can smoke like a Boy Scout campfire again. Was even thinkin' of starting a blog just about smoking, called "Bronchitis Blog."

Suit: Well we are really pleased to hear that, sir. Would you also like to try an assortment of Blogspot silk slippers, monogrammed with your initials? They are a hit with our executives, who tell me they look dashing wearing nothing but the slippers and the cigar.

Me: I hadn't thought of that. Good point, kid. Sure, just call the Defense Dept. and get one of their parachute drop boxes. You know, the type they used to drop food and medicine to the Afghan people. Fill up one of those with the slippers. That should be big enough.

Suit: Right away, Mr. Gan. Everything else to your satisfaction? The one thousand blog templates, the deluxe digital camera for those lucious hi-res shots of what you had for lunch...?

Me: Welll...tell ya the truth, kid...

Suit: Yes, sir?

Me: I'm...I'm kinda unhappy here.

Suit: NO...WE ARE...we're shocked, sir!

Me: Ya. I mean I am grateful for everything you guys HAVE done for me...

Suit: We try our best, sir. Evan Williams is always saying good things about you.

Me: I'll bet. You know I do a damned good job here.

Suit: Yessir.

Me: I bring in thousands of visitors and tons of ad revenue to Blogspot each month.

Suit: We are well aware of that, sir. And we are starting to target more ads at the top of the blog to your predominantly female audience.

Me: Oh really? Ok, but keep it subtle, all right? No feminine hygiene products above my blog.

Suit: Yessir, we'll talk to marketing about that. They just approved a Maxipad banner ad, but I'm sure they'll see your point. Not a problem.

Me: Hell, you're making this hard for me. I mean, I even LIKE you, and who usually likes the suits at his company?

Suit: Well we are hoping for many more years of happy blogging from you...

Me: Let me be straight with you, kid. Your page loads too slowly.

Suit: What???

Me: Let me qualify that. Your site loads too FUCKING slowly.

Suit: It's hard to imagine sir. But we will call customer service right away. We'll have a conference call this afternoon, we'll...

Me: I mean sometimes I wait one, two minutes for the damned page!!! I am having a fit, pounding the keyboard, hitting Reload. I just wanna hit somebody---the wait is so excruciating. In LA they have "road rage." Well here in the Valley we have "page load rage." Even women. Just last week this granny had to wait two minutes for her bingo site to load. She just pulled out her Uzi and blew her computer away.

Suit: Good heavens! Well sir, we are deeply sorry for the inconvenience. Lots of people have complained to us about the page load speed. But we tell them to admire the contours of their blog while they wait. Or to have a window open on the side and play Solitaire.

Me: Look, bud, not me! Do I look like a Solitaire guy? Huh??? I was a chemical engineer. I prefer to blow things up. I'd rather play Minesweeper. But I can't stand it here. And my readers, too. I mean they trust me.

Suit: Yessir.

Me: They are used to the speed of my old Berkeley site. No ads. No fuss. No thousands of other people jammed on the server with me.

Suit: Yessir.

Me: Look, kid, I'm sorry about this...but I am having lunch with Diaryland today.

Suit: NO WAY!

Me: It's too bad, but I'm thinking of leaving you guys.

Suit: But DIARYLAND? That wimpy place? Forgive me sir, but for a tough-talking guy like you who can do his own coding, I am appalled. Sir.

Me: Ya well, that's what I thought at first.

Suit: C'mon, sir. What can they give you that we can't here at Blogspot? Diaryland is filled with these sensitive people ranting about breaking up with their boyfriends. Forgive me, but it's not you, sir. You are a Blogger-man. Not a diary girl. You write a "journal," not a "diary."

Me: I know I know. But what can I do, bud? Blogspot sucks. I told ya.

Suit: What can we do to sweeten your stay here? You are very important to us. Did we mention that our Christmas party was funded with your ad revenue?

Me: NO! I had no idea.... Well Diaryland has made me an offer, though...

Suit: My God! Don't say yes! Did you tell them anything, yet?

Me: Well no...I told them I'd think it over...

Suit: Good! What did they offer you? We'll double it.

Me: Well make my page load fast.

Suit: Look sir. Anything but that. Evan's orders. He doesn't want to buy new servers till we get more members.

Me: What the hell? Don't you already have 300 zillion members?

Suit: Yessir, but Ev doesn't think that justifies spending more money on servers.

Me: Well then, I gotta go. Lunchtime is coming up...

Suit: Wait!!! What is Diaryland offering you, sir?

Me: First of all, fast page loads. Then no ads. And a tight community of people who really like to write. And...

Suit: Ok, besides the page load issue, we'll double everything else. We'll double your ad size. We'll add twice the number of Bloggers who can't write.

Me: Oh my God...what a disaster.

Suit: And there's always the corporate jet.

Me: The WHAT???

Suit: The jet, sir. A refurbished Concorde. It used to belong to British Airways, but Ev got it and repainted the "ritish Airways" part to "logspot" and kept the "B."

Me: Wow...

Suit: Yessir, Blogspot reserves it for its top Bloggers. You can fly to Hawaii for lunch if you wish. And get back in time to blog about it before prime time.

Me: "Prime time?"

Suit: Yessir, between about 6 pm and midnight. The time when most people check their friends' blogs. Excuse me, sir. We're just used to the media jargon here.

Me: Okay... But what the hell do I need a jet for?

Suit: Just thought it would be a nice perk. I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger got one as payment for one of his movies.

Me: Ok, but I'm not Arnold. I'm Raymond. I have no use for a jet. Now an Uzi, on the other hand...

Suit: What will it take to make you happy, sir? Please don't go to lunch before giving us a chance to show you what we can offer...

Me: Ok, you got it. Hmmm...well first I want a raise.

Suit: Yessir. Would 10% be satisfactory?

Me: I'd say 20% would cut it. And start paying more of my Blogging buddies a salary, damn it.

Suit: Yessir. Just name them and we'll talk to HR about that.

Me: I mean, they pour their heart and souls out into their blogs, no?

Suit: Yessir.

Me: They bring in tons of ad revenue for you and lots of the 18-49 demographic. Lots of young Asian professionals.

Suit: Yessir. Kikkoman is very happy, sir. After we placed their ad above Min Jung Kim's blog, sales of soy sauce tripled. Finance was very happy about that.

Me: You betcha. That girl could raise the hairs on a kiwi fruit, ya know.

Suit: Yessir. I agree sir.

Me: Anyhow, I'd like a 20% raise, plus a cut of the ad profits.

Suit: Well, SIR, that's rather unprecedented...I mean...

Me: Look, kid. I'm late for lunch. Either gimme or I'm outta here!

Suit: Okay okay, Mr. Gan....please control yourself. We could add those lines to your contract.

Me: And you know what? I'm starting to get carpal tunnel syndrome from typing so much.

Suit: We're sorry sir. Would you like the services of our on-site masseuse? Her name is Birgitta. She's a Swedish blonde and very experienced.

Me: Oh that's just PEACHY! Ya, please schedule her around 5 pm today. I have golf after that. A little charity benefit with some fellow Bloggers, y'know. Sigh. Obligations obligations...

Suit: Right away sir. Birgitta is a specialist in wrist and palm massage. She starts with the shoulders and neck and moves on down to your fingertips. Our top Bloggers give her very high ratings for curing their wrist fatigue.

Me: Hey, NOW we're talkin' here! You should have told me this at the beginning! I gotta ask Diaryland if they have a masseuse...

Suit: Well sir...

Me: Another thing. I am just TIRED of typing in general. It's so slow and hinders my creativity. Y'know what I'd really like?

Suit: Yessir?

Me: A personal secretary. 100 wpm dictation. I'd rather talk than type my blog.

Suit: Ok sir, that's easy to do....

Me: Make sure she has long silky hair. Asian preferred. Perky, goes to the gym, y'know...

Suit: Not a problem, sir. We'll try to find one who also knows massage.

Me: You guys aren't half bad, y'know? Now yer talkin' my language!

Suit: Well we are most happy when you are happy, sir. Now about that lunch with Diaryland...

Me: Okay okay....I'm still going, but I'll just tell them I'll think about it. Don't worry.

Suit: Well sir...we'd like to see you sign your new contract.

Me: Hold on...one more thing I ask.

Suit: Yessir?

Me: Give my new secretary some cash.

Suit: Oh I see. You want her to shop for some sexy clothes, right?

Me: Well no. First thing I'll do is have her go shopping...

Suit: Yessir?

Me: For another server.

Posted 8:59 AM by Blah blah

Make sure to see this excellent blog by John Pasden, Sinosplice. He's teaching English in Hangzhou. He also compiled his excellent list of blogs by foreigners in China.

John says: "The purpose of the site is to provide a peek into the life of an American attempting to integrate himself, somewhat, into Chinese society. In this day and age, a tall white American simply cannot truly integrate into Chinese society. I simply stand out too much, and this society is still very much homogeneous (at least in the sense that almost everyone has Asian features). My site is different from the sites of many other teachers living in China or doing JET in Japan because I'm actually here for a number of years, with the goal of high fluency in Mandarin Chinese. If you have not lived overseas in a non-English-speaking country, it may be hard to understand the world of difference fluency in the language makes. Language is key to cultural understanding. One can simply never get the clearest view of a house looking through the dirty window or observing what comes out of the house. You have to go in. Language is the key."
_________________________
Another excellent site I added to the list: Que Sera Sera, by Sarah. Viciously witty. She wrote:

Girls against boys:

I saw Sweet Home Alabama last night, and my Reese Witherspoon hatred aside, it really pissed me off. So many movies and books and television shows offer these heroines operating under the guise of spunky or sassy, when in fact they're really just bitchy. I cannot even begin to think all of the sins committed towards men in the name of being a feisty spitfire.

Julia Roberts is the queen of this type of character. These women are rude, selfish and scheming, but in the end, they do a quick aw shucks and look frazzled and maybe get their hair in their eyes, and bam, they get their man. This is such bullshit. It just perpetuates the myth to young girls that being snotty and cute ("Princess" T-shirts, anyone?) entitles you to something. Like, he should be proud of the fact that I am so, so sassy. I am so sassy, in fact, I deserve big expensive jewelry, and he doesn't really love me if the jewelry doesn't meet certain requirements. I cannot even begin to imagine how anyone would think being proposed to by a man taking you into Tiffany and saying "Pick whatever you want," is supposed to be romantic, but the entire theater sighed when this happened. I have come across many girls my age who make broad claims to not even wanting an engagement ring unless it's this big or from Tiffany, completely unaware of not just how shallow, but how truly white trash that sort of claim is. What a great way to start your life with a person you supposedly love unconditionally.

These faux-spunky romantic comedy heroines are the girls who grow up to the be the bland, sexless women in detergent or JC Penney commercials, with their short hair, khaki capris, and open, untucked denim button-down shirt, sighing because their balding paunchy hapless husband is just sooooo hopelessly clueless. Bitch. Maybe you shouldn't be complaining about his lack of balls since you obviously had to tape yours back to marry him. If the tables were turned and it was the men whining about women being so stupid and expendable, the shit would fly.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not suggesting any Taming of the Shrew-like measures here. I consider myself a feminist, but these women are getting by with passing off rude as ballsy, and it's so, so different. Maybe I'm too lame and vanilla to see how anyone being hateful and selfish is sexy; I've never been one of those girls who likes assholes. I understand a little Hepburn and Tracy friction is a good time, but how rare is that sort of attraction in real life? There's nothing wrong with men or women being sarcastic and assertive -- God knows it's how I operate -- but there has to be a little nice in there, too.
____________________
Someone please give this woman a medal. All the men reading this, say AMEN!

Posted 8:12 AM by Blah blah

Excellent career site for us locals: Laid Off in Silicon Valley. Very handy!

Grouping Blogs by Mood

When I get a chance, I'm gonna make popup pages organized by type of blog/site and list them in the upper left column of Tiger Cafe, with icons. I think one of the problems with having a bare list of blogs is your readers have no idea what to read and no time to sift through all of the crap people put up before you get to the meat of who they are.

Since part of my mission is to make the blog reading experience as enjoyable and efficient for you as possible, I will group blogs/sites by mood the following way:

- Funny (smiley icon)
- Romantic (heart icon)
- Thought-provoking (brain icon)
- Eye candy (photo icon)

Should I make a group for "Complaining" or "Depressing" or "Car crash quality" too? By car crash I mean people who are self-destructive. Nah. Too many blogs are like this.

If I ever have the time or inclination, I'd want to make popup lists of my favorite Tiger Cafe blog entries too, maybe grouped the same way. What do you all think?

Posted 7:23 PM by Blah blah

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

-Mariah Carey

Posted 7:26 AM by Blah blah

Two Year Anniversary

Happy birthday to this journal! It's two years old! My real birthday is coming up...

I feel sad and wistful today.

You know how sometimes you put a lot of effort into friendships or relationships but they vanish? I'm thinking of those people I used to be close to who either moved away, moved onto another path, or lost interest.

I hate it when that happens. :(

China Radio International

I just talked to Kelly this morning. She's someone I know in Wuhan (a good singer). She introduced me to China Radio International, a radio station that has been broadcasting from China since 1947. Their English site.

You can hear them online in English here. (RealPlayer) History and purpose of CRI.

Yes, they are sponsored by the government, so you're hearing a highly censored and favorable view of China. (Look at what they say about the Falun Gong.) But still. This is like Voice of America from the Chinese view!

Like the BBC radio teaches English, CRI teaches Mandarin. This inspires me!

Posted 11:38 AM by Blah blah

MIT OpenCourseWare just opened its doors! Check out all of these MIT course materials on the web. For example, MIT Gizmoball Project in their software engineering course 6.170.

Oh man, here's a typical homework problem I used to do in college as a chemical engineer. Did I ever use it after college? NO.

I've reorganized my links below. Check them out.

Posted 3:57 AM by Blah blah

More comic relief from The Best of Craigslist...
__________________________
Your odds are only 1:190:

According to the US Census, the National Center for Health Statistics and the University of Miami I have found the following facts, and derived there are approximately 14,000 perfect men left in the entire state of California.

California has a population of 34.5 million
Of that 48.9% are not married
Of those 15.4% are men ages 25-34
Then only 13.0% of those have a college degree
Only 37% are not over weight
Then of those 75% are not seriously balding by age 25
Only 15% are 6 feet or taller.

34,500,000 x 0.489 x 0.154 x 0.13 x 0.37 x 0.75 x 0.15

= 14,106

If you have no preference for race, political affiliation, income potential, or character then you have 14,106 to choose from. If your standards are higher then the pool to choose from will be even far less than that.

If I was 6 inches taller then there would be 14,107, and you would be throwing yourself at my feet. There are 2,700,000 women chasing 14,000 men, giving each man 190 to choose from.

Your efforts are futile. So go out with me already, Mr. Right has got his hands full with all the rest. I would be more than happy with woman #50 or better out of those 190.
__________________________
Warm it up Craig:

I get tired of weeding through all these ads that are essentially saying the same things. This is why I would like to request that you all use one of the following ad titles to help me (and you) save some time. Thanks!


God’s gift looking for God’s gift

I’ll compromise on anything except my unrealistic standards

I’m not much but expect you to be perfection

I’m exciting and adventurous because I drive a motorcycle/convertible

3 paragraphs on how I’m fat and hate your shallow ass

Allow me to buy your love

I’ll fuck/lick anything

I swear this is the last of my last posts!

I haven’t had an original interest or thought in over a decade

Let me give this mother a whirl

My picture scares people away

I’m lucky enough to still have a job but all I do is chat online all day

I’m witty but nothing in my ad shows that

Let’s bond over our common STD

Addicted to constant disappointment

I’m totally overwhelmed with responses (only posted by females)

I’m as deep and sincere as your picture is attractive

My complete ad wouldn’t fit in the craig’s database part 1

SF SWF ISO PhD BMW LOL

I set aside 10 minutes a week for true love

Damn, I’m impressive

You’re so lucky that I am ready for a relationship

I have nothing to say and enjoy good conversation

I posted this 5 minutes ago, and 5 minutes before that, and 5 minutes before that…..

I just broke up with my ex 2 hours ago and am ready to go back out there!

Friendship first. Sex never.

I’m a stereotypical unique individual

I planned the perfect date but forgot I don’t have one

I’m laidback and casual. WHY AREN’T YOU RESPONDING?? ANSWER ME!!!!

I’m a spectacular fuck

I’m honest and also just saying what you want to hear

I’m a health nut, emphasis on nut
__________________________
For Those Who Fear the Window:

What if the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages were replaced with Haiku? Below, the essence of Zen:

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
---------------------------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
---------------------------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
--------------------------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao- until
You bring fresh toner.
-------------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
---------------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
---------------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
---------------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
------------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
---------------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
__________________________
STORY OF ONE WOMAN'S SEARCH FOR TRUE LOVE:

When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend...

When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, he cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a guy with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he was boring. He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him. He always got mad, he did impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as often as happy. He was very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious guy with his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him. He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything I owned, and ran off with my best friend.

I am now 40, and I'm looking for a guy with a big dick.
__________________________
Questions for Dr. Laura

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstances. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -- Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness -- Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -- Lev. 11:10-- it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -- Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
__________________________
I need to start reading these better:

First I get all excited about the Table For Sex, since I like doing it in places other than the bedroom, just to discover it's Table for SIX. Then I was about to call a couple of friends to tell them about the Fag Football game until I realized there's an 'L' in there. And as if that wasn't enough, for a minute I thought some guy was saying NASA developed a machine that can read our minds and I was busy shaping aluminum foil into a helmet to thwart them when....oh....he did say that, didn't he? But you knew that since you work for NASA, right?

I think I picked a bad day to forget to refill my Xanax......
__________________________
horny futon mattress desperate for some hot action - $100 [Furniture ad]

Hi, I’m a sexy, voluptuous caucasian futon mattress. I've got a little extra padding in just the right places. I’m practically brand new. I’ve barely been used. You think I'd be happy, right? Well I’m not. I’m sick of being clean and pure. My prudish owner has barely even slept on me. There’s never been any overnight visitors, no casual encounters. My full-sized frame has yet to discover the touch of two bodies intertwined in sinful acts of carnal pleasure. I yearn for more. My owner has gingerly sat on me and watched enough episodes of Sex in the City for me to realize all the unbelievably wild fun I’m missing out on. I want to be pounded. I want owners who will get it on hot and heavy several times a week, right on top of me. I want to get slammed repeatedly against the wall in the throes of their intense passion. I want to soak up their sweat. I want to muffle their cries of ecstasy. Instead I’ve got the virgin mary herself practically levitating above me. My thick foam layers are crying out for pressure. My woolen insides are craving the compression that results from love’s sweet consummation. Alas, there’s no chance of me finding true sexual fulfillment while I’m being held ransom in this veritable convent of an apartment. But there’s hope. For somewhere in the neighborhood of a hundred bucks you can liberate me. I can be yours. I will cater to your every need. I can help you fulfill your naughty nocturnal fantasies. I want you to take me now. Hold me. Lift me in your strong arms. Carry me home. Take advantage of me. I’m luscious and malleable. I will melt in your hands. I will fit in your car. Unless you drive one of those mini-cooper matchbox vehicles that requires visiting a voodoo witch doctor to get your head-shrunk before you can drive around in it. You people know who you are. I’ve seen you zoom past the windows of my prison cell in your micromachines, on your way to some shindig or other at barbie’s malibu dream house. You freaks need not apply. Everyone else: So what are you waiting for? Send me an email. You can come see me. You can have me. You won’t regret it. Sweet dreams await . . .
__________________________
ALL UPPER CASE TYPING SUPPORT GROUP:

I'M INTERESTED IN FORMING A GROUP FOR ALL THOSE WHO LOVE TYPING IN UPPERCASE. TYPING IN UPPERCASE REALLY HELPS GET OUR MESSAGES ACROSS! WE ARE NOT SHOUTING! STUCK CAPS LOCK TYPERS ALSO WELCOME.

Posted 2:51 PM by Anonymous

Great links, Esther! I've been meaning to get a copy of Yelloh Girls for a long time but haven't gotten around to it. Have you read it? Another related site you might want to check out is Bamboo Girl. It's a cool-looking zine (I confess, I haven't ordered one yet), and they sell some neat t-shirts and stuff on the site too, with slogans like "Asian Chicks Kick Ass" and "Exoticize My Fist". Teehee.

Posted 11:14 AM by e*star

I'll lead off of Raymond's topic of favorite sites... Since we've been on the topic of Bora Bora, I'll share with you favorite sites that are relevant to Asian female exoticism... :) Let's see what other fellow grrrl's and womyn are out there. ;)

This site, bigbadchinesemama.com, was created by Kristina Wong, one of my friends from school for an Asian American mass media class project. WARNING: the guestbook attracts many, many sicko's. It is quite, quite amazing because her site receives much, much acclaim for its message from other Asian American media.

Angry Little Asian Girl expanded into an "Angry Little Girl" site. They do weekly comic strips relevant to growing up female in a man's world. :)

This site, Exoticize My Fist hasn't been updated for a long, long time, but I'm still mentioning it because as far as I could remember, it was one of the first sites dedicating itself to the plight of Asian American feminism.

Yelloh Girls is a site on a book that is actually out, filled with memoirs of growing up Asian and female.

Enjoy!
*e

Posted 10:10 AM by Blah blah

Fantastic site: HowStuffWorks. How Lock Picking Works!

(Related: HowBizWorks and How Fitness Works)

HowStuffWorks is one of 50 Web sites chosen by Scientific American to receive the 2002 Sci/Tech Award. The review, which can be found in the Engineering and Technology category, states:

"Marshall Brain's site offers a comprehensive array of clearly written explanations on the function of all manner of things, from how jet engines run to how M1 tanks work to how digital cameras make their colorful images. This info-packed Web site also offers lots of explanatory images and animations, including -- boob-tube fans, take note -- what happens when you shoot your TV."

Posted 8:37 AM by Blah blah

From Sophia:

"Kris and I went camping at Lake O'Hara over the weekend. On Saturday morning, about 11 am, at a certain rock outcropping overlooking Lake O'Hara, and encircled by the mountains.

He asked, I said yes.

We are engaged."

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Sophia, you have my warmest wishes!

Let's hope those late nights away from your honey get shorter and shorter and then----splat! You two are glued together.


From Lokman: list of blogs by foreigners in China. CHECK THEM OUT!

Posted 11:44 PM by Blah blah

Unica Hija: "You get the attention of women using three things: handsome men, babies and cute animals. : ) oops there go our secrets. : )"

Me: "Goooooo-gooooooo baba-wawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *BURP*....MEOW?"

Men who act like babies...or cats---on the next episode of Tiger Cafe!

Posted 4:17 PM by DUH

Sorry this comes in late. Been rather occupied with a million and one things. Read Ray's post [actually, Esther's post] about that ad he hated last week, but I wanted to have time to think about it. And here are a few thoughts.

10 Things You Should Know About Advertising

1. It's not true that we use "subliminal" techniques to make you buy stuff. That "camel" hidden somewhere in the Camel print ads is NOT psychological mumbo-jumbo. It was just the art director having fun. Really.

2. Clients pay for millions of dollars of research (and advertising agency fees) to make sure you will respond "positively" to their ad.

3. If you are repulsed, irritated or find an ad boring, we'd like to think it's because you're not the target market. In short, the Liz Claiborne people really don't care what you think Ray :)

4. We try to have fun second-guessing what approach would appeal to the target market the same way we try hard to stop client from interfering with our fun.

5. We have research and strategy to help us, but most of the time, we (at least the people in the creative department) are not the CIA, plotting elaborate manipulation techniques to make you buy something. Oh, okay maybe 3% of the time.The rest of time, however, we're just a bunch of twenty to thirtysomething people asked to think up crazy, fun ideas for our clients.

6. Though we'd like to THINK we have perfected our scientifically-based persuasion techniques (read: manipulation), we can never really predict for sure how some viewers would react. The power to decide still rests in your hands, dear consumer.

7. Funny and creative commercials do not necessarily make you buy or remember the product.

8. That also means, persuasive commercials (and as one of my Creative Directors call it, "ads that have legs") are often not funny or creative.

9. Client knows #7 and tries to stop us a lot from making funny, creative commercials.

10. It is a fact (and this is based on research) that the commercials of a nation reflect the values, principles, lifestyle, the aspirations and even--yes--the stereotypes maintained by its people.

Posted 3:42 PM by Blah blah

Today is so gorgeous outside. I rose early and cooked some apricot pancakes and bacon for my housemate, his girlfriend, and I. We ate such an American breakfast.

40 Things a Man Should Know By 40 (check out the other links above it)

1. The difference between love and lust.
2. How to change a tire, a diaper, and a woman's mind.
3. When to hold on and when to let go.
4. Your capacity for intimacy and alcohol.
5. Basic carpentry, plumbing and automotive repair.
6. Advanced foreplay.
7. At least one woman other that their mother whose love for them is substantial and enduring.
8. Trouble when he sees it.
9. True love when he feels it.
10. A load of bull when he hears it.
11. The symptoms of PMS and how to deal with them.
12. His strengths and weaknesses.
13. How to fast-talk and slow-dance.
14. The art of seduction.
15. That his wife (lover, girlfriend) is not his mother.
16. A woman's erogenous zones.
17. How to negotiate the inevitable compromises of a romantic relationship in ways that keep both sides as happy as possible.
18. What he wants out of life and how to go after it.
19. Which medical tests he needs and when to get them.
20. How to make money, dinner, conversation, and love.
21. His own needs and another person's ability to fulfill them.
22. How to start a fire--in the hearth and the heart.
23. A realistic plan to secure his retirement.
24. An idealistic plan to secure his grandchildren's future.
25. How to unhook a bra with one hand--in the dark.
26. Where to get breakfast/gas/a prescription filled at 2 am.
27. How to give a toast and take a compliment.
28. How to be gracious in victory and defeat.
29. When to talk and when to listen.
30. At least one true friend who will be there whenever he calls.
31. The fundamental workings of the female psyche.
32. The Ten Commandments.
33. The importance of trying to follow them.
34. His way around a kitchen.
35. The futility of unrequited love.
36. The ecstasy of unconditional love.
37. How to open a bottle of champagne.
38. How to close a deal.
40. The magic of a woman.

Posted 3:17 PM by Blah blah

Reprinting this article I linked last year.

Welcome Back, Duke: From the ashes of Sept. 11 arise the manly virtues, by Peggy Noonan. (Wall St. Journal):
____________________
Men are back. A certain style of manliness is once again being honored and celebrated in our country since Sept. 11. You might say it suddenly emerged from the rubble of the past quarter century, and emerged when a certain kind of man came forth to get our great country out of the fix it was in.

I am speaking of masculine men, men who push things and pull things and haul things and build things, men who charge up the stairs in a hundred pounds of gear and tell everyone else where to go to be safe. Men who are welders, who do construction, men who are cops and firemen. They are all of them, one way or another, the men who put the fire out, the men who are digging the rubble out, and the men who will build whatever takes its place.

And their style is back in style. We are experiencing a new respect for their old-fashioned masculinity, a new respect for physical courage, for strength and for the willingness to use both for the good of others....

Once about 10 years ago there was a story--you might have read it in your local tabloid, or a supermarket tabloid like the National Enquirer--about an American man and woman who were on their honeymoon in Australia or New Zealand. They were swimming in the ocean, the water chest-high. From nowhere came a shark. The shark went straight for the woman, opened its jaws. Do you know what the man did? He punched the shark in the head. He punched it and punched it again. He did not do brilliant commentary on the shark, he did not share his sensitive feelings about the shark, he did not make wry observations about the shark, he punched the shark in the head. So the shark let go of his wife and went straight for him. And it killed him. The wife survived to tell the story of what her husband had done. He had tried to deck the shark. I told my friends: That's what a wonderful man is, a man who will try to deck the shark.

I don't know what the guy did for a living, but he had a very old-fashioned sense of what it is to be a man, and I think that sense is coming back into style because of who saved us on Sept. 11, and that is very good for our country.

Why? Well, manliness wins wars. Strength and guts plus brains and spirit wins wars. But also, you know what follows manliness? The gentleman. The return of manliness will bring a return of gentlemanliness, for a simple reason: masculine men are almost by definition gentlemen. Example: If you're a woman and you go to a faculty meeting at an Ivy League University you'll have to fight with a male intellectual for a chair, but I assure you that if you go to a Knights of Columbus Hall, the men inside (cops, firemen, insurance agents) will rise to offer you a seat. Because they are manly men, and gentlemen.

It is hard to be a man. I am certain of it; to be a man in this world is not easy. I know you are thinking, But it's not easy to be a woman, and you are so right. But women get to complain and make others feel bad about their plight. Men have to suck it up. Good men suck it up and remain good-natured, constructive and helpful; less-good men become the kind of men who are spoofed on "The Man Show"--babe-watching, dope-smoking nihilists. (Nihilism is not manly, it is the last refuge of sissies.)

I should discuss how manliness and its brother, gentlemanliness, went out of style. I know, because I was there. In fact, I may have done it. I remember exactly when: It was in the mid-'70s, and I was in my mid-20s, and a big, nice, middle-aged man got up from his seat to help me haul a big piece of luggage into the overhead luggage space on a plane. I was a feminist, and knew our rules and rants. "I can do it myself," I snapped.

It was important that he know women are strong. It was even more important, it turns out, that I know I was a jackass, but I didn't. I embarrassed a nice man who was attempting to help a lady. I wasn't lady enough to let him. I bet he never offered to help a lady again. I bet he became an intellectual, or a writer, and not a good man like a fireman or a businessman who says, "Let's roll."

But perhaps it wasn't just me. I was there in America, as a child, when John Wayne was a hero, and a symbol of American manliness. He was strong, and silent. And I was there in America when they killed John Wayne by a thousand cuts. A lot of people killed him--not only feminists but peaceniks, leftists, intellectuals, others. You could even say it was Woody Allen who did it, through laughter and an endearing admission of his own nervousness and fear. He made nervousness and fearfulness the admired style. He made not being able to deck the shark, but doing the funniest commentary on not decking the shark, seem . . . cool.

But when we killed John Wayne, you know who we were left with. We were left with John Wayne's friendly-antagonist sidekick in the old John Ford movies, Barry Fitzgerald. The small, nervous, gossiping neighborhood commentator Barry Fitzgerald, who wanted to talk about everything and do nothing.

This was not progress. It was not improvement.

I missed John Wayne.

But now I think . . . he's back. I think he returned on Sept. 11. I think he ran up the stairs, threw the kid over his back like a sack of potatoes, came back down and shoveled rubble. I think he's in Afghanistan now, saying, with his slow swagger and simmering silence, "Yer in a whole lotta trouble now, Osama-boy."

I think he's back in style. And none too soon.

Posted 10:14 AM by Blah blah

Le Couple

Does anyone else like Le Couple, this Japanese group of two people (singer and guitarist)? I'm listening to my friend Kenji's CD now. Love this song, in both Japanese and English versions:

Hidamari no uta (Wishes)

I looked in the sky
And there I saw a star shining so bright above
I close my eyes and wish upon that star that I would find true love

Someone who needed me
Someone to share my life
For a love that would be true
I would wait forever

So no matter how long it may be
I will be waiting

One star brighter than the others
Two hearts beating for each other
I believe wishes will come true

Love at first sight
I knew it from the moment when you said hello
I hope you felt it too but we were both so shy
How was I to know

When you reached for my hand
I knew you were the one
We laughed and talked for hours
Like I've known you forever

Like a dream or something from above
True love has found me

One star brighter than the others
Two hearts beating for each other
Now I see wishes will come true

You just have to dream
Nothing is as bad as it seems to be
Believe me
Someone's waiting for you to try there in the sky

One star brighter than the others
Two hearts beating for each other
You will see wishes will come true

You can't stop believing
Wishes do come true
You gotta believe me
Wishes do come true

Very cool: Google Weblog: news on Google.

Photos from Beijing

Violet just returned from a summer in Beijing and posted some beautiful photos.

She's from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and is getting her MA at University College London. Please see her other vivid photos, mostly from Europe.