Posted 9:08 AM by Blah blah

Do Not Allow Children to Play in the Dishwasher

From Unica Hija. Made me laugh! (I understand some of her Taglish sentences, kasi my family uses a few of them.) Sounds like things my paranoid parents would say.
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Warning! Keep your pants on when sitting in the Interactive Health massage chair featuring "Human Touch Technology." The full text of this important safety tip read:

First Place: "Do not use massage chair without clothing. Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving."

That warning is a winner of the Wacky Warning Label Contest. Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a group whose goal is to show that fear of frivolous lawsuits has led to a loss of corporate common sense, sponsors an annual contest for the wackiest warning labels.

Second Place: "Do not use snow blower on the roof."

Third Place: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."

Previous winners in the "Wacky Warning Label Contest" are presented here for your amusement and amazement:

•A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions, "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
•A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user: "Remove child before folding."
•A bottle of prescription sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
•A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
•A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
•An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."
•A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious."
•A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."
•A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner."
•A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn."
•A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping."
•A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use."
•A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place."
•A bathroom heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms."
•A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes."
•A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
•A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution: Risk of Fire."
•A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."
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During the first part of January, when I stayed with my parents during my move, here's a sample what they told me. I'm not joking:

- Do not boil water in the mornings. You'll burn down the house.
- Do not put that (plastic) fork in the microwave. You'll cause sparks.
- Do not use our phone to call long distance (they've already removed long distance service from their phone).
- Do not turn up the thermostat over 63 F (17.2 C), even though you have the flu. Just wear more jackets.
- Do not use the washing machine without adding other people's clothes to yours.
- Do not turn on the bedroom light in the mornings (even when it's dark).

Did I mention they refuse to give me a key to their house? Living with my parents is a barrel of laughs.