Posted 8:06 PM by Blah blah

Self-Reliance

Ralph Waldo Emerson: "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried."

Voltaire: "We must cultivate our garden."

Theodore Roosevelt: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Posted 12:43 PM by Blah blah

Photos from Ryze Mixer

I joined this business and social networking organization a while back, called Ryze. An interview with Ryze's founder which explains the organization. The members are extremely highly accomplished. You can't throw a stone without hitting a CEO or founder of this or that company. Ryze is international but based in San Francisco. It's NOT an Asian group. It's mainly white and Asian. That just happens to be the makeup of the San Francisco Bay Area. Wednesday I attended my first Ryze event, in Palo Alto (as mentioned below).

Here are the photos. Log in as "ryzepa," with no password, to see them. We met at this classy Vietnamese restaurant on University Ave., called Tamarine.

Here's the only photo they took of me. It has the word "Proof" on there because they ask you to pay for the original. Since I smile in most of my pix, this time I tried looking serious. I not only came out serious, I came out SLEEPY serious. Those bedroom eyes...



A lot of meat market activity goes on here, of course. That night I talked to people about the following subjects:

- Internet dating, and how a woman decides to whom she replies
- How Australians developed this "fuck you" attitude and why
- Salsa dancing
- Being a workaholic
- Environmentally friendly design
- How to find your true vocation
- Venture capital and investing in entertainment/media startups
- What Alex Michel from "The Bachelor" is really like, with someone who actually knew him at Harvard and Stanford
- Are you free to go out sometime?

Posted 2:03 AM by Mona V.

The Odds on Shamu and Me

Fourteen years ago, I was introduced to a guy – no more a man than I was a woman. Typical of the young, shallow, single me, I was looking at him intently; but my thoughts were far from the introduction that was going on. I remember thinking, “Oh, he is sooo cute! Gorgeous face. No wait. His teeth are too small.” The guy smiled at me. “Eek, it’s Shamu!”

In time, I learned why we couldn’t possibly be more than friends. He couldn’t dance. He was not “creative” – he was an engineer, of all things! He was too short. Referring to my formula for an ideal man, he just wasn’t right. I found out later, he thought I was too loud. I was “meatier” than his ex’s. I was too high-maintenance. I was involved in things he wouldn’t dream of taking part in. So it was silently decided -- we were not for each other. And without the pressure of being romantically attracted, we became good friends.

It was somewhere between being this man’s friend and marrying him three years later, that I discovered I loved him because he was a far cry from my girlhood ideals. He taught me things I never would have discovered on my own – the beauty of simplicity, the truth in humility. He cured me of my relationship inferiority complexes I overcompensated for. He reassured me of being deeply loved even if he would never declare it in skywriting. He is, without doubt, the love of my life.

Because we got married so young, there were quiet bets among friends about how long we were going to last. Five years was the most optimistic wager on the table. It’s been 11 years and Shamu and I are still together.

‘Guess we won that bet, huh? Now, I wonder how we can collect …

Posted 4:28 PM by Blah blah

Interview with Ze Frank,

the guy who created what I think is THE funniest website I've ever seen. Ze Frank first became world famous for How to Dance Properly.

Posted 11:38 AM by Blah blah

Unable to Settle Down

Christine's Soapbox: from the Financial Times. I'm not one of the elite mentioned here, and damn it sounds spoiled, especially when tons of people can't find a job now. But I kinda see what the author means. This describes Christine perfectly and why she still does not have a boyfriend.
_________________
Today's generation of high-earning professionals maintain that their personal fulfillment comes from their jobs and the hours they work. They should grow up, says Thomas Barlow (Financial Times).

A friend of mine recently met a young American woman who was studying on a Rhodes Scholarship at Oxford. She already had two degrees from top US universities, had worked as a lawyer and as a social worker in the US, and somewhere along the way had acquired a black belt in kung fu. Now, however, her course at Oxford was coming to an end and she was thoroughly angst-ridden about what to do next.

Her problem was no ordinary one.

She couldn't decide whether she should make a lot of money as a corporate lawyer/management consultant, devote herself to charity work helping battered wives in disadvantaged communities, or go to Hollywood to work as a stunt double in kung fu films. What most struck my friend was not the disparity of this woman's choices, but the earnestness and bad grace with which she ruminated on them. It was almost as though she begrudged her own talents, opportunities and freedom---as though the world had treated her unkindly by forcing her to make such a hard choice.

Her case is symptomatic of our times. In recent years, there has grown up a culture of discontent among the highly educated young---something that seems to flare up, especially, when people reach their late 20s and early 30s. It arises not from frustration caused by lack of opportunity, as may have been true in the past, but from an excess of possibilities.

Most theories of adult developmental psychology have a special category for those in their late 20s and early 30s.

Whereas the early to mid-20s are seen as a time to establish one's mode of living, the late 20s to early 30s are often considered a period of reappraisal. In a society where people marry and have children young, where financial burdens accumulate early, and where job markets are inflexible, such appraisals may not last long. But when people manage to remain free of financial or family burdens, and where the perceived opportunities for alternative careers are many, the reappraisal is likely to be strong.

Among no social group is this more true than the modern, international, professional elite: that tribe of young bankers, lawyers, consultants and managers for whom financial, familial, personal, corporate and (increasingly) national ties have become irrelevant. Often they grew up in one country, were educated in another, and are now working in a third.

They are independent, well paid, and enriched by experiences that many of their parents could only dream of. Yet, by their late 20s, many carry a sense of disappointment: that for all their opportunities, freedoms and achievements, life has not delivered quite what they had hoped. At the heart of this disillusionment lies a new attitude towards work.

The idea has grown up, in recent years, that work should not be just a means to an end a way to make money, support a family, or gain social prestige but should provide a rich and fulfilling experience in and of itself. Jobs are no longer just jobs; they are lifestyle options. Recruiters at financial companies, consultancies and law firms have promoted this conception of work. Job advertisements promise challenge, wide experiences, opportunities for travel and relentless personal development.

Michael is a 33-year-old management consultant who has bought into this vision of late-20th century work. Intelligent and well-educated - with three degrees, including a doctorate - he works in Munich, and has a "stable, long-distance relationship" with a woman living in California. He takes 140 flights a year and works an average of 80 hours a week. Some weeks he works more than 100 hours.

When asked if he likes his job, he will say: "I enjoy what I'm doing in terms of the intellectual challenges." Although he earns a lot, he doesn't spend much. He rents a small apartment, though he is rarely there, and has accumulated very few possessions. He justifies the long hours not in terms of wealth-acquisition, but solely as part of a "learning experience."

This attitude to work has several interesting implications, mostly to do with the shifting balance between work and non-work, employment and leisure. Because fulfilling and engrossing work---the sort that is thought to provide the most intense learning experience---often requires long hours or captivates the imagination for long periods of time, it is easy to slip into the idea that the converse is also true: that just by working long hours, one is also engaging in fulfilling and engrossing work. This leads to the popular fallacy that you can measure the value of your job (and, therefore, the amount you are learning from it) by the amount of time you spend on it. And, incidentally, when a premium is placed on learning rather than earning, people are particularly susceptible to this form of self-deceit.

Thus, whereas in the past, when people in their 20s or 30s spoke disparagingly about nine-to-five jobs it was invariably because they were seen as too routine, too unimaginative, or too bourgeois. Now, it is simply because they don't contain enough hours. [Huh? I don't think so!]

Young professionals have not suddenly developed a distaste for leisure, but they have solidly bought into the belief that a 45-hour week necessarily signifies an unfulfilling job. Jane, a 29-year-old corporate lawyer who works in the City of London, tells a story about working on a deal with another lawyer, a young man in his early 30s. At about 3am, he leant over the boardroom desk and said: "Isn't this great? This is when I really love my job." What most struck her about the remark was that the work was irrelevant (she says it was actually rather boring); her colleague simply liked the idea of working late. "It's as though he was validated, or making his life important by this," she says.

Unfortunately, when people can convince themselves that all they need do in order to lead fulfilled and happy lives is to work long hours, they can quickly start to lose reasons for their existence. As they start to think of their employment as a lifestyle, fulfilling and rewarding of itself---and in which the reward is proportional to hours worked - people rapidly begin to substitute work for other aspects of their lives.

Michael, the management consultant, is a good example of this phenomenon. He is prepared to trade (his word) not just goods and time for the experience afforded by his work, but also a substantial measure of commitment in his personal relationships. In a few months, he is being transferred to San Francisco, where he will move in with his girlfriend. But he's not sure that living the same house is actually going to change the amount of time he spends on his relationship. "Once I move over, my time nvolvement on my relationship will not change significantly. My job takes up most of my time and pretty much dominates what I do, when, where and how I do it," he says. Moreover, the reluctance to commit time to a relationship because they are learning so much, and having such an intense and fulfilling time at work is compounded, for some young professionals, by a reluctance to have a long-term relationship at all.

Today, by the time someone reaches 30, they could easily have had three or four jobs in as many different cities - which is not, as it is often portrayed, a function of an insecure global job-market, but of choice. Robert is 30 years old. He has three degrees and has worked on three continents. He is currently working for the United Nations in Geneva. For him, the most significant deterrent when deciding whether to enter into a relationship is the likely transient nature of the rest of his life. "What is the point in investing all this emotional energy and exposing myself in a relationship, if I am leaving in two months, or if I do not know what I am doing next year?" he says.

Such is the character of the modern, international professional, at least throughout his or her 20s. Spare time, goods and relationships, these are all willingly traded for the exigencies of work. Nothing is valued so highly as accumulated experience. Nothing is neglected so much as commitment. With this work ethic---or perhaps one should call it a "professional development ethic"---becoming so powerful, the globally mobile generation now in its late 20s and early 30s has garnered considerable professional success. At what point, though, does the experience-seeking end?

Kathryn is a successful American academic, 29, who bucked the trend of her generation: she recently turned her life round for someone else. She moved to the UK, specifically, to be with a man, a decision that she says few of her contemporaries understood. "We're not meant to say: 'I made this decision for this person. Today, you're meant to do things for yourself. If you're willing to make sacrifices for others - especially if you're a woman---that's seen as a kind of weakness. I wonder, though, is doing things for yourself really empowerment, or is liberty a kind of trap?" she says.

For many, it is a trap that is difficult to break out of, not least because they are so caught up in a culture of professional development. And spoilt for choice, some like the American Rhodes Scholar no doubt become paralysed by their opportunities, unable to do much else in their lives, because they are so determined not to let a single one of their chances slip. If that means minimal personal commitments well into their 30s, so be it. "Loneliness is better than boredom" is Jane's philosophy.

And, although she knows "a lot of professional single women who would give it all up if they met a rich man to marry," she remains far more concerned herself about finding fulfillment at work. "I am constantly questioning whether I am doing the right thing here," she says. "There's an eternal search for a more challenging and satisfying option, a better lifestyle. You always feel you're not doing the right thing always feel as if you should be striving for another goal," she says.

Jane, Michael, Robert and Kathryn grew up as part of a generation with fewer social constraints determining their futures than has been true for probably any other generation in history. They were taught at school that when they grew up they could "do anything," "be anything." It was an idea that was reinforced by popular culture, in films, books and television.

The notion that one can do anything is clearly liberating. But life without constraints has also proved a recipe for endless searching, endless questioning of aspirations. It has made this generation obsessed with self-development and determined, for as long as possible, to minimise personal commitments in order to maximise the options open to them. One might see this as a sign of extended adolescence.

Eventually, they will be forced to realise that living is as much about closing possibilities as it is about creating them.

Posted 8:09 AM by Blah blah

Feed the MIRA!

Our cowriter Mira is stressed out in the midst of final projects in TV production. She wrote: "What I ate today: 2 macaroons. 1 cup of pink grapefruit juice. 1 white chocolate cadbury finger. 1 sesame bagel with havarti and marble cheese. 1 homemade cinnabun. 1 styrofoam bowl of cream of cauliflower soup. 1 whole wheat bread roll. What I'm going to eat when I get home (a prediction): 1 clementine. 2 slices of honey dew melon. 1 slice of pineapple (now in season by Del Monte). 4 baby carrot sticks. 1 concentrated cup of orange pekoe tea with milk."

I replied:

Congrats on your video piece, Mira! I seriously need to get tips from you for my TV show.

Everyone, there is famine in Canada. FEED THE MIRA! FEED THE MIRA!

With your generous contribution, you too can fill the belly of one starving student. At the cost of only 1 dollar/day, you can keep her going with bowls of kimchee airlifted from California and dropped by parachute.

Posted 7:23 AM by Blah blah

Use Filgifts.com! (For Family/Friends in the Philippines)

Christmas is soon upon us! For all of you who live in or have family and friends in the Philippines, make sure to use Filgifts.com. They let you send gifts to your family and friends back home!

My sweet friend Ellen works there, and she tells me she will handle orders personally, with her graceful touch. If you haven't checked out Ellen before, go say hello! She graduated from the University of the Philippines, in broadcasting. She has a great radio quality voice and is very charming and funny.

Posted 6:53 AM by Blah blah

Silicon Valley

This just made me LAUGH, because there's a LOT of truth in it! I probably will settle down somewhere else, not here. If you are a pretty girl in Silicon Valley, in every social event guys will swarm around you, competing for your time. Wednesday night I drove this pretty girl to a business mixer in Palo Alto (I had no romantic intention at all), and when we sat down in the super-crowded restaurant to have dinner, two guys eventually sat down with us. As the party was close to ending, several guys offered to take the girl home.

"Silicon Valley is where:

Housing is New York City expensive,
And traffic is Los Angeles bad,
But at least something unique we have,
Is the outrageous gas [prices].

Gals are all ugly yet taken,
Cuz it is like Engineering School,
A place where ugly Engineers are in hell,
And ugly gals are in heaven.

I Hate Silicon Valley
Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 00:03:47 (PDT)"

Posted 11:54 PM by Blah blah

Are You Fit to Be an Entrepreneur?

From A Litmus Test for Entrepreneurs (Harvard Business School Working Knowledge):

"HBS professor Walter Kuemmerle says any aspiring entrepreneur must ask themselves the following questions:

Are you comfortable stretching the rules?
Are you prepared to make powerful enemies?
Do you have the patience to start small?
Are you willing to shift strategies quickly?
Are you a closer?

As Kuemmerle concludes, 'Being an entrepreneur isn't for everyone, and even those who have the right stuff find the path to success much rougher and, usually, much longer than they had anticipated. But if you start your journey with a clear sense of your own capabilities and the gaps in them, you'll be much more likely to succeed in your venture.' "

Posted 10:04 PM by Anonymous

The Social Engineer - Fear Him!

Reposted from my journal because I'm feeling guilt for not posting but uninspired. :\

Ok, so I received this email today at work and I literally fell out of my chair laughing. I'm serious people were peering their heads over their cubes looking to see what was going on. I really have to wonder who comes up with this crap sometimes. This email reads like a bad after school special.

A new type of security threat exists today - the social engineer. A social engineer is a person who seeks to gain access to information or systems for personal gain. But they don't use technology to achieve it; they use people - the company employee.

You can stop a social engineer. Be alert to their most common tactics:

Shoulder surfing: looking over someone's shoulder on airplanes, trains, etc. to read confidential information or passwords

Technical support impersonation: impersonating a technical support person requesting employee passwords via phone or e-mail

Unauthorized building access: gaining unauthorized access to offices to steal computers, confidential documents, letterhead, or other proprietary material

Information solicitation: requesting confidential company, client or employee information

...snip...

So I sit here thinking, how dumb would you have to be to fall for some of these scenarios?

Social Engineer: Good Morning Mr. Smith, this is technical support.
Mr. Smith: Um, hi... what can I do for you?
Social Engineer: We need your user name and password to perform some routine maintenance on your computer.
Mr. Smith: Why should I give you my password nothing is wrong with my computer?
Social Engineer: But Mr. Smith we NEED that password!
Mr. Smith ... /click/

or how about this...

Social Engineer: Hi, is this Mr. Jones?
Mr. Jones: Yes, who is calling?
Social Engineer: This is James Highland, I was wondering if you could forward me the billing statement for your client?
Mr Jones: Why the heck shoudl I do that, I don't even KNOW you... who are you?
Social Engineer: Um, well I'm the interim VP of finance.
Mr. Jones: Sure buddy.... /click/

Come on, how stupid do they think we are? So, if you happen to run across a social engineer fear him like no other and run away screaming like a woman. Who says its not fun to work when you can read emails like this.

Posted 7:52 AM by Anonymous

Ciudad Juarez

Read this Salon article about murdered women in Juarez and thought back to when I visited that city. The article talks about how Juarez has been transformed in the past decade by the influx of foreign corporations using the city's residents for cheap labor. I was there in 1990, before any of that happened. Here is how I remember Juarez.

My parents, sister and I had pulled into El Paso after driving across Texas from San Antonio. That drive seems endless -- there's nothing in sight but hills dotted with scrub brush, and the sky hangs overhead, casting cloud-shadows onto the desert sand. The highway runs straight through it, two lanes, no one else on the road, nothing on the radio when you turn it on. The dial just spins. Civilization -- not here.

When you reach El Paso, it's cruddy and not a place you'd want to live, but at least there are other people there. We parked at the Best Western where we were staying, got our room, which got no natural light and was decorated in an unflattering dark color scheme, and decided to go exploring. My parents were keen for my sister and I to visit another country, which we'd never done, so we walked down the street to the bridge over the Rio Grande, paid 15 cents to the toll man, and strolled into Mexico.

Ciudad Juarez was instantly different. If we'd thought El Paso was cruddy, we had been wrong. Trash littered the main street, which was lined by sidewalks paved with red brick tile. Small shops flanked the sidewalk -- a candy store here, a card store there. We purchased some candy sealed in plastic bags and walked south down the street toward the main market. There were lots of other tourists thronging the road, overweight women in loud print shirts dragging little kids by the hand. I was 14, so I wouldn't hold my parents' hands, but they told me to stay close, and I did. This was new, unfamiliar, uncomfortable. Spanish conversation buzzed all around us as residents of Juarez went about their business alongside the visitors.

When we reached the market, we wandered around in awe. Inside this huge building, tents and stalls were set up, selling items for incredibly cheap prices. I saw a glass box for half the price it cost at home in New Jersey, and my parents encouraged me to bargain further. I ended up buying it for a quarter of its New Jersey retail price. Having been instructed not to drink the water, my sister and I split a Coke in a bottle at the food court, where tourists chatted loudly and sweated heavily.

When we left the market, we walked back up the street toward El Paso. My dad, always the explorer, turned onto a side street. "Where are you going?" I asked, feeling a buzz of unease settle at the base of my spine. "I want to see the city; get off the main drag," he said. "I don't think that's a good idea," my mom fretted, but she had no choice but to follow him or be left in the flowing mass of people as he wandered into the bowels of the city.

We got as far as one block, then stopped. The tile-paved sidewalks were gone, replaced by dirty cement. The road itself was no longer paved, just an expanse of dusty dirt. All of the buildings were wood, no stores in sight, just houses, and no tourists. It was much quieter. A group of men sat on a street corner, watching us silently and smoking cigars. Other people lounged in doorways or walked along the street. It felt like they were all looking at us. There was no hustle or bustle; just silence and heat and stillness in this small desert border town. "Come on," I said. "Let's go back." My dad glanced around, nodded, and followed us without a word.

We crossed over the bridge -- this time passing through customs, where my mom had to leave behind a honeydew melon she'd bought and we all had our identification inspected by a very strict officer. I was incredibly relieved -- I had hated Juarez -- and wondered what it would be like to live there and not be able to leave. The Rio Grande is tiny -- just a trickle of water maybe a foot deep and six feet wide here, lined with razor wire. I don't think the razor wire extends along its entire length -- I mean, that huge expanse of nothing in Texas can't be patrolled all the time. I wonder why people settle here, in this town that is so close but never going to offer much in the way of opportunity for most people who come to it. I read that it is a far larger city now, and I wish never to go there again.

Posted 11:26 PM by Anonymous

My last call of the night

Raven is my last call of the night. The last person I talk to before I go to bed. Even if it is a one-minute conversation about how tired I am, I must hear Raven's voice at the end of each night before going to bed. Considering he travels for work 100% in Seattle; his bedtime of midnight is 2 am my time. I've stayed up until 3 or 4 am before. I've asked him to consider my situation being two hour ahead; but it's 1:15 am right now and still no phone call. hmmmp!

So I'm getting ready for my shower (you can ask Raymond about my bathing ritual * tee hee /inside joke) and I'm afraid that Raven is going to call me while I'm in the shower. I'm afraid he's going to leave a sappy message on our answering machine that usually sound like, "baaaaby, where are you?" Followed by a missed call on my cell phone. I wait for him all night to call, but he sure is paranoid when he can't immediately reach me.

1:20 am phone rings. Guess who's been at Belltown Billards? "Where are you?" I asked. "Leaving a bar," Raven replied. I'm not his mother I don't have to know exactly where he is, but I'd like to get to sleep sometime tonight. He said he would call me in 20 minutes when he gets back to his apartment.

Sometimes Raven's voice is the sweetest thing I hear all day. Sometimes I wonder how much sleep I've lost waiting for my last call of the night.

Note: Last Call of the Night was said by Ben Affleck's character in Forces of Nature (correct me if I'm wrong about the movie)

Posted 11:46 AM by Blah blah

Family Problems

With the relatives, we've been having family problems. Started right after Thanksgiving. Last night I got seriously upset with certain relatives of mine. Had this pain in my stomach after hanging up the phone. It's amazing to me that in the 21st Century, people can still think and behave like they are in 1920s China. Goddammit. The progress of Western thought and society has completely bypassed certain people in my family. I am ashamed to be part of this situation and this group. I tried to play peacemaker, as usual. No success yet. God has been absent too.

Posted 11:45 AM by Blah blah

Well I finally talked to pipSy on the phone today, for the first time. She's a complex lady and more than meets the eye. My nickname for her is a "walking triumvirate." Inside joke.

Jerry Springer: The Opera

LONDON (Reuters) - An outrageous opera based on Jerry Springer's lurid talk show is to have its world premiere at Britain's National Theater.

"It is exactly the kind of work the National should be doing: bold, scabrous, funny and beautiful," the National Theater's new director Nicholas Hytner said Wednesday.

In concert form, "Jerry Springer: The Opera" was one of the biggest hits at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Now it is to be given a full-scale production in London next April.

British composer Richard Thomas (news) joined forces with comic writer Stewart Lee for an irreverent take on the American talk show that has become a worldwide hit with such programs as "Pregnant by a Transsexual" and "Here Come the Hookers."

Among the opera's showstoppers are a diaper fetishist confessing all to his true love, a dance routine by the Ku Klux Klan and Jesus launching into a swearing tirade against the Devil.

Posted 9:50 PM by Anonymous

Whale Watching

I remember the most beautiful I've ever seen L.A. It was a day that had started out sunny and gradually turned to rain. I had gone whale watching with Halle, Lena, Cat and Anna, and the ocean was incredibly choppy. I was amazed that they didn't make us put on life vests. The boat would ascend a swell, hover at the top for a moment, then drop through air for a sickening moment before climbing up again. One unlucky man got sick, and I realized for the first time that seasickness would not be an impossible outcome, given the right (read: wrong) weather conditions.

I was feeling a little queasy as we cruised around the Anacapa Islands, so I climbed up to the deck, where I could sit in the open air. It was cold for California, around 50 degrees, and there was a steady breeze as the ship moved forward through the water. Every now and then, when we hit a particularly large wave, we'd all bounce on our seats. I figured out that if I held on to the bench, I felt reasonably secure even when my rear end was six inches in the air. Jarring, but fun in that "this is actually sort of dangerous" way.

The best part was the rainbows. Every time we hit a wave, meaning every 10 seconds or so, a huge spray of water would fly over the boat. As the seawater arced past, a complete rainbow would appear for a couple of seconds, then fade, only to be replaced a few seconds later by another one. I must have seen more than 50 rainbows that day, maybe a hundred. I wonder if I have used up my rainbow quota for life. I really hope not.

On the way home, shivering with the heat on full blast in Anna's car, we drove past the Santa Monica Mountains. Clouds were blowing in from the west, and the tops of the tree-covered hills were wreathed in mist, invisible. It didn't look like L.A.; it looked like another world. I thought to myself, "Look at where we live. I can't believe how lucky we are."

Days like that help when smog fills the city streets and I'm inching down a traffic-jammed Ventura Boulevard, passing gas stations and tacky strip malls. L.A. may be both the most beautiful and the ugliest place I've ever been. It all depends on the day.

Posted 6:22 AM by e*star

MTV Movie House: The Lord of the Rings--The Two Towers

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers is a great--no, I'm sorry, AWESOME--movie. I more than highly recommend it, as I was pretty blown away by the entire movie. That is, despite the 3 takes MTV made us do running through the lobby of The Bridge looking excited, cheering, but not "too loud."

Anyway, last night, I kept thinking about the movie and just how the different elements and characters played off each other. It was great. It never ceased to have me sitting on the edge of my seat. In order to not make anybody mad, I will not discuss *any* of the details or storylines of the movie. Actually, I guess by attending the advance screening I've already agreed expressly not to discuss it, anyway...especially over the internet. But again, I was really, really, REALLY blown away by the movie. With all the hype surrounding it and everything, I was still more than impressed. The shots of the mountains and other backdrops were just incredible. Character development, perfect. Storyline was *very* easy to follow, even if you haven't read the book(s). It overall drew you in and never let go... I can see why the critics say it was even better than the first, but I guess when you need to introduce the premise for the trilogy you have a lot more to conquer and a lot more to deal with, on your hands. I like the second movie better, but for different reasons--to further develop the storyline. I wouldn't think of belittling the first movie in the least.

However, I will never do another "MTV Movie House" shooting for any other movie, as I can't see waiting around, standing around and cheering wildly for a movie that is even potentially lesser to The Lord of the Rings trilogy. :) It was, no doubt, cool, though, since we were supposedly the first audience in California to view the movie. I feel so...exclusive!! Especially on a weekday. How tiring. At least Nick, the host, was still cute in person.

*e

Posted 10:46 PM by Duke

It already came around:

My birthday came and went. Got a little drunk, made out with a friend. And so the story goes.

Here goes the story.

I've known her since middle school. She's cute, petite, fun to be around, easy to talk to. All that jazz. We've almost always gotten along, but it wasn't until college that we really began our relationship (as friends). This summer in particular we spent a lot of time together. She had a boyfriend she didn't like too much. He was nothing like her guy friends. He was somewhat "ghetto" for her. The typical guy-guy, he wore stupid jeans that were too short, with clunky basketball shoes that make anyone look stupid. He didn't have much of a future, and for someone like her, that simply wouldn't do. We spent the summer at dinners, jazz clubs, coffee shops. The occasional trip to the mall.

I used to make this mistake in high school; falling for my friends. I figure hey, we get along, she's pretty, we're already friends. So what's a little intimacy? A lot, it turns out. Back in those days I was also quick to make a move on boyfriends that were too stupid to figure out what was happening. In fact, my very first girlfriend was stolen from underneath another boy's nose. Older, more mature Duke would have none of that. I confided in a few friends just to release a little pressure, but I played it cool. We remained as friends, me patiently listening to her complain. We tried to figure out what to do next, how best to break things off. We parted at the end of summer, her with her dim boyfriend, me with my angst and frustration.

My birthday involved some drinking and her in these jeans that were simply astounding. At dinner we were at opposite poles of the circle, we didn't even have a chance to hug or talk until an hour or so into the evening. But we made eye contact. She had lost about 180lbs in the form of that dim boyfriend. Things were looking up. We all go to the bar, and my friends concoct a game. "Duke, you have five minutes from getting your first drink to finding the girl you will hit on for the rest of the night."

"OK, no problem. It's my birthday. Who wouldn't want to sleep with me tonight?"

The game was a failure, I end up striking up a chat with a Columbian woman 10 years my senior. She would have nothing to do with me. So I turned to the girl's ear, I tell her that she was the one I picked. That since the summer I've had this unanswered crush on her. We end up at the bar, away from our friends for a moment. She wishes me a happy birthday. She gives me a kiss. We kiss a little more. We go back to the couch and talk a little bit. She says I have nice lips, that she has wondered how they'd feel since the summer. But of course she couldn't have done anything then. But now, now is different.

We make drunken plans for lunch the next day. We miss lunch, but get coffee in the evening. I have a flight out in 12 hours. There is no awkwardness. She's the type of girl that isn't fazed by much, the type that might use the word, 'whateverishly'. We know things won't work out now, she's in Texas, I'm in Michigan. Neither of us have any set plans for next fall. That's OK, though. Sure, I can live with that. She mentions that she would have never dated her ex had she not kissed him. We talk for a bit longer. I thread the conversation back to that rogue comment. I'm odd like that. I ask her about me, more than a simple feedback form regarding my ratio of tongue to saliva to palm-on-cheek.

"You've kissed me. Forgetting all of the things in our way right now, could we ever have been?" I am earnest. She is taken aback, perhaps not so ready for that high lob. She recovers. She responds that it would never come up, because we could never end up a 'we' in the ultimate sense. Because she knows that I could not marry outside of my race.

Looking back, it could have been an easy out for her, a gentle way of letting me down because she isn't so attracted sober. Or maybe it was an easy out for both of us. Sometimes it's easier not asking those questions, not following down those paths. How many more times will I have to relive these moments?

Posted 8:12 PM by Blah blah

Test. I just set up Blogrolling but can't get it to work. See the very bottom of the left column of this blog. I don't see the recently updated blogs feature working here. Also, it says 55 blogs have linked to me. HUH? This is totally wrong.

Someone please help! By the way, Microsoft is introducing its own version of blog software, called SharePoint.

Marketers turn attention to blogs (The Globe and Mail): "Online journals seen as subtle way to promote business."

Posted 4:20 PM by Blah blah

For those of you who would rather see photos than read, check out Photoblogs.org. High quality photo blogs.

Please Use My Index

For those who've been complaining you can't keep up with the quantity of writing here, I hear ya. (See my post, I Write Too Much!) I try to regularly update the index for this blog,

The Best of Tiger Cafe

Sort through here for entries that interest you. Sure I cut and paste from others. Sure I steal. I seek the best. I want quality. I want entries I can return to six months from now and still find stimulating and enlightening.

Also, November was the most productive month ever on Tiger Cafe, in terms of quality and quantity of entries. Part of that is because I added so many cowriters. Anyhow, sorry if you can't keep up with me. Please use my index more often. If I ever set aside time, I want to make extra pages to classify the best entries by categories: romantic, funny, philosophical, business, politics, introductions, etc. I welcome any suggestions for making this blog easier to navigate and for finding an old entry quickly.

By the way, our commenting system, HaloScan, is archiving old comments. If you go back a few weeks, it will not count comments any more and only show "Comments(0)" when they are really still there if you click them.

Posted 10:49 PM by e*star

At your request, Raymond.

Here's my contribution. :) I'm updating everyone on my pastimes, so here goes!

So--I joined a gym. Yes. I am getting in shape!! The last time I was in shape was when I was last single. Actually, the last time I was single was when being single was the only lifestyle I had ever known. So...I am doing this for myself, and I am actually really, really happy with the results, even though they are short-term. The last time I was in tip top shape physically was when I was running everyday because of cross country in high school, so I have had a fairly demanding physical background. BUT, I must say that running distances in the metropolitan Los Angeles area is not quite comparable to running in say, a suburban Milwaukee area. Since I've moved away from campus, I haven't been comfortable with running near my quarters.

The gym I joined is focused primarily on class instruction. Very few of the members go because of the equipment, even though they have really good equipment. Mind you, the gym is a bit more expensive than other gyms because the dues have to be able to pay each of the instructors. There are classes going on each hour and there's a great variety. Pilates, spinning, yoga, hip hop, and they are especially known for their kickboxing classes. So...with what I've gathered in the past about needing motivation in order to visit the gym regularly (as opposed to just going to work on machines and weights), I figured this is exactly the gym I needed. In fact, I've already attended 3 classes. The spinning class really kicked my arse. Good stuff... One class I attended last week was at 6:30AM, which I attended before work. Yeah, I know. Pretty admirable...but, um, we'll see if I can keep this up. :) I am somewhat determined. By my telling you guys this, I've fostered some sort of accountability...maybe this will somehow be additional motivation?

Even though I've worked out a couple times, I noticed that working out does absolute wonders for me. I actually feel my skin getting rejuvenated. Is that crazy? Also, I have a lot more energy during the day and just a lot more refreshed. Anyhoo, I would highly recommend a weekly work-out regimen for everybody. I know, preach to the choir...I have yet to develop the regular practice, myself. We'll see...

Meanwhile, in other news...

I've finally taken my snowboard to get tuned up in my first trip to my boardshop of the season. I have totally missed the first AND second dump on Mammoth Mountain and I am missing out on my favorite winter pastime as we speak. Boo hoo!! I've been basically saving up money for Ian's and my trip to NYC in mid-December, so this is ultimately the reason why I haven't gone yet. But, as soon as I'm back from New York, I plan on going regularly like I have in past snow seasons...

If things go well I will progress in skill somewhat while not getting injured. One of my buddies in my regular snowboarding crew tore his ACL on a 20-foot tabletop jump last season so that kinda shook us all up. He recovered quite nicely and I admire him for his positive attitude and perserverance, however. It just shows you that it's all in the mind. I'm crossing my fingers for my full physical health.

Anyway, Happy belated Thanksgiving, everybody!! Well winter wishes, too... :)

*e