Posted 9:42 AM by Blah blah

Beware Multi-level Marketing & Rich Dad, Poor Dad

In this down economy, many people are thinking of how to make money more quickly. Recently some of my friends have told me about two schemes from which I think you should stay away.

1. Multi-level marketing (Amway, WMA, WFG, Quixtar, Pre-paid Legal Services, etc.) and pyramid schemes

Another time, I will write tons about this. Basically, STAY AWAY from ALL companies having anything to do with multi-level marketing (MLM) or pyramid schemes!!! Read this description on The Skeptic's Dictionary for details on how all MLM schemes are scams that will ultimately LOSE you money.

What are some major MLM companies around that have recruited me as aggressively as a church group? Amway, Quixtar (the renamed, Internet version of Amway), World Financial Group (WFG)/World Marketing Alliance (WMA), Pre-paid Legal Services, and more!

Please read this May 2000 Money magazine article about WMA and Hubert Humphrey. A scam revealed.

DO NOT BE FOOLED! These are all money-losing scams! Here's a site that tells about the lies of WMA/WFG. A site by ex-WMA/WFG members. Here's a list of sites about Amway/Quixtar, including sites by ex-Amway distributors.

Here's what I wrote about Prepaid Legal Services (PPL), another MLM scam.

I've been approached by these people several times, I've been to some introductory meetings in the past, and I warn you again: do not give any of these people the time of day. They operate like harmful religious cults: intelligent but financially ignorant people are being brainwashed into believing in these scams. I've seen them try to recruit a lot of Asians.

2. Robert Kiyosaki and his Rich Dad, Poor Dad books

Be very careful! He has been all over TV and in the bookstores the last couple of years. But read this January 2003 article in Money magazine about him first. Basically it criticizes him for:

1) Being too simplistic with vague financial advice. He mainly encourages you to start you own business and invest in real estate. And he teaches some basic accounting. But few details or real financial education.
2) Being overly optimistic and ignoring risk. He preaches a feel-good philosophy that encourages you to take huge risks, without telling you what may go wrong.
3) Not being too open about how HE makes his money. About gaining more income than you might think from the sale of his books, videos, and tapes.

From the article, "Poor Man's Prophet":
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Kiyosaki holds himself up as an example, so it's natural to wonder if he really succeeded as described in his books--or whether the books are his one real success. He is secretive about his real estate dealings and his business in general. When I flew to Phoenix to meet Kiyosaki, he and his wife drove me around, showing me a handful of properties he claimed to own, but insisted that their addresses not be printed. (His reason: fear of nuisance lawsuits by tenants.) Public records in Arizona show that he has profitably bought and sold other properties in the area, on a relatively modest scale. He can afford a handsome home in a swank section of Phoenix--bought in 1999 for $1.2 million--and he's got a couple of cars in his garage, one of which is a Ferrari. He lives well, although he's not in the same league with, for example, a local real estate heavyweight like Jerry Colangelo, owner of the Phoenix Suns.

"I'm a real estate guy," is how Kiyosaki responds when asked what his profession is. But he's also been in another business--motivational speaking--for more than 20 years, though this fact gets only a passing mention in Rich Dad. He began lecturing and leading seminars in the early 1980s, when he was first a student and then an instructor with a San Diego outfit now called Excellerated Business Schools. It offered (and still does) a 3 1/2-day program called Money and You, the creation of an attorney named Marshall Thurber who is a protege of Werner Erhard, founder of EST.

During the 1970s EST was a prominent and controversial part of the American cultural landscape. Enthusiastic graduates say it improved their lives by forcing them to break with old habits and ways of thinking; others say it was an authoritarian cult that charged them money for the privilege of being publicly browbeaten for failing to "get it."...

Everything was going fine until October 1993, when an Australian TV news magazine called Four Corners aired a report on Money and You. The main focus was on an Australian attorney who said that after taking the course his life had become a shambles, his business ruined, his marriage wrecked. Other graduates of the program were taped saying they'd been disturbed by learning techniques like the Blocks Game, an exercise in which participants competed to model abstractions like "trust" using only children's building blocks. The game could go on for hours and frustrations could run high. "We got to a stage where virtually everybody in the hall at one stage was crying," one participant told Four Corners. "Some of them were on the verge of a nervous breakdown.... You start losing sight of your own values and your own convictions."...

All of which probably proves nothing and is secondary to the real question, which is: Can the people who buy into Kiyosaki's philosophy reasonably expect to make money following the advice of Rich Dad--whether or not he ever really existed? Kiyosaki's numerous fans say emphatically yes. Planners and other financial pros are much more skeptical.

The question is actually hard to answer, because the advice in Rich Dad, Poor Dad tends to be so general that it's often hard to figure out just what it is, let alone whether it's sound. Kiyosaki is given to saying things like "Pay yourself first"--a line that appears in virtually every financial self-help book. Or: "The poor and middle class work for money. The rich have money work for them." True as that may be, you won't find it of much practical help in getting out of debt, say, or trying to invest prudently for your kids' education. But criticizing Rich Dad, Poor Dad for lack of detail may miss the point. Its purpose is to inspire--and to plug Rich Dad's Guide to Investing, Real Estate Riches and the rest of the Rich Dad line.

As for Kiyosaki's recommendation that investing in real estate is the way to go, there's no question that shrewd real estate investors can and do make money all the time. It is not, however, as easy as Kiyosaki makes it sound. Rich Dad, Poor Dad does contain boilerplate acknowledgments of the risks involved, and Kiyosaki does advise readers to start slow and make their inevitable mistakes on small deals. But the tone of the book is also unfailingly boosterish, with reassuring statements like "Anyone with a high school education can do it."

More revealing may be Kiyosaki's attitude toward risk. In Rich Dad, Poor Dad Kiyosaki writes that whenever Rich Dad was nervous about a pending business deal he took inspiration from people he had met in Texas. Quoth Rich Dad: "Texans don't bury their failures. They get inspired by them. They take their failures and turn them into rallying cries." The Alamo was the scene of a massacre, for example, a massive military failure that nonetheless became a symbol of Texan pride and resolve. Kiyosaki himself adds, "Failure inspires winners. And failure defeats losers."

Kiyosaki denies that he soft-pedals risk, arguing that the stock market is far more dangerous than the Rich Dad way. Nonetheless, his philosophy is one that requires adherents to bet big and roll the dice. Which is fine if you are emotionally wired for it and, say, willing (like Kiyosaki) to live in your car while attending the school of hard knocks. But it offers little guidance for more timid souls--or those of us who, unlike Kiyosaki, have kids to think about--who are apt to take on less risk and thus forgo a shot at the house with a pool and the Ferrari.

In his latest book, Rich Dad's Prophecy, Kiyosaki ups the ante considerably. Given his prediction of a coming stock market meltdown, he argues that you no longer really have a choice about whether to take Rich Dad's advice or not. If you don't want to spend your golden years on the streets, he all but says, you're going to have to get out of the stock market and put your money into things like real estate.

Posted 10:58 PM by Blah blah

Reality TV Alters TV Economics

Reality TV Alters the Way TV Does Business (NY Times).

I find a relationship between the popularity of reality TV, especially with young people, and the popularity of blogging. Think about that!

When Ernie reached an incredible amount of daily new readers through his SurvivorBlog and other Survivor-type web games, you could see a trend in people's interest that affected or resulted from the popularity of both reality TV AND blogging.

The problem with all of those intelligent, well-written, and well-acted shows, which may appeal to higher-income people, is that most people don't have time to follow them and may get confused with their intricacies and subplots. They bring together a huge amount of creative talent, but they are also hugely expensive.

The thing about reality shows like American Idol and Fear Factor is, dumb as they may be, they are cheap to make and easy to digest. Visual junk food for the 30 minutes you have at the end of the day when your brain shuts off. And hey, I LIKE some of them too. I'm not being a snob about this. I appreciate both the West Wings and the Joe Millionaires. And I like trashy stuff like Elimidate, especially since they and The 5th Wheel have the hottest people of all the dating shows.

Wonder how all of this will turn out. Will we end up with a mix of really smart/really dumb shows? The hit really smart shows like ER are prized for their ability to attract high income viewers in that 18-49 year old demographic that TV and ad people crave.

And how about any shows for the 50+ year old crowd? What about all their retiree purchasing power? I think it's stupid to ignore that growing chunk of the population by not having more "old viewer" shows. My mom, for example, doesn't watch any American TV drama or sitcoms, partly because everyone is too young for her to care. She'd rather watch Antiques Roadshow. But then she never buys anything she sees on TV either.

Anyway, I wonder about Tiger Cafe too. I mean since the beginning, I've made this a very intellectual, sophisticated, cheeky blog. But maybe I need more dumbing down. More "kids on Spring Break/party time" kinda posts to attract the younger demographic.

Ah, what the hell. I'll think about it later. I keep thinking like a damned TV executive.

Posted 9:46 PM by Blah blah

Television Without Pity

I originally found this site, Television Without Pity, from Ellen. For all of you TV addicts or people who never have time to follow a show, this is the site for you. They actually pay people to recap your favorite shows for ya, so for especially confusing shows like Alias or low IQ ones like Joe Millionaire, you get to hear a really sarcastic guy slam the weekly episodes in gory detail.

The writers are very hip and knowledgeable and make me laugh like crazy! I couldn't stop laughing at many of the summaries of 24, my favorite show. They give nicknames for all of the main characters: Teri Bauer (Jack Bauer's wife) they called Bride of Kiefer, Kim (his daughter) they call Spawn, Sherry Palmer (Senator David Palmer's wife) they call Lady MacPalmer---like the bad-ass Lady Macbeth. Check out the writing on this site! As much as I love 24, they had me heehawing at the show's patterns and inconsistencies.

Here's a sample of their recapping of the Fox show Joe Millionaire:
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Cut to Evan, who is still getting wine lessons from Paul. That Paul is magic! He greets the women and still manages to fit in some wine lessons! Paul tells Evan that part of tasting wine is getting the aroma, so you should take a sip of wine and then "suck the air over it between your teeth." Evan takes a sip and then makes a prolonged slurping noise, kind of like he's gargling with the wine. I don't know how Paul didn't fall down laughing. Evan eventually chokes and starts laughing at himself.

Back to the women. Melissa Jo is going on and on about the house. Another woman moves away from the window and knocks a lamp to the floor. Someone yells out, "You break it, you buy it!" Um, this isn't the local Wal-Mart. I don't think those rules apply here. That's one of the things that bugs me about this show. They are going to all these lengths to teach Evan how to appear rich, but it really doesn't seem like any of these women would know the difference. They're hardly from high society themselves. Paul continues to quiz Evan on the wine choices. In an interview, Erica, 32, a physical therapist, says that she could get used to living in a castle. Erica looks about forty-two. I don't mean to harp on the ages here, but every time a number appears on the screen, I burst out laughing. Two women look out the window and talk about how they could imagine getting married on the grounds.

More arrivals. Jen, 23 and an office coordinator, squeals, "I am so a real-life princess right now!" She's the first one who claims to be under twenty-five that I believe. Do you think the producers coached them to talk about fairy tales and princesses, because this is a bit much, really. In an interview, Jen says that it would be awesome to tell people, "I met my husband on TV and millions of people shared in our fairy tale." That puts the fairy tale count at five. Also, if someone told me that, I would find it gross and kind of frightening.

Posted 9:35 AM by Blah blah

Ending our Group Blog?

A whole bunch of you writers have been leaving Tiger Cafe. Seems like most of you prefer to read but not to write? Anyway, I'm thinking of stopping the group blog entirely and going back to writing alone. I don't want to have to pressure people to write regularly. I'd rather have people write if they really have something they are dying to say.

Do we need a change in focus? More focus? More variety of people? Less frequency---once a month?

As I said before, sometimes I wonder why the hell I'm doing this. I try to write for an audience, which is why feedback is important to me. The less feedback I get, the less I want to write for others. Lately I've been writing more just for myself---notes, bookmarks.

Maybe the time has come to turn this back into a simple webpage for my friends only, instead of a general audience. Where I just post some pics of what I'm doing, just talk about personal and friend news, etc.

What do you think?

Posted 12:17 AM by Macaby

Partake in our wedding by sending a postcard

Our wedding theme is TRAVEL and one of the things I want to do is create a guestbook full of postcards with well wishes, boarding passes, and any other travel related items brought by our wedding guests. This guestbook album will also be full of postcards from those that can not attend or perfect strangers much like yourself who would like to take part of our wedding.

Ideally, I would have at least a couple of pages already made with postcards received so I can show my guests what the pages will look like. It should make a great coffee table book, eh?

Send a postcard to be a part of our wedding

We want any postcard that feature the city, state or area of where you live, especially international postcards; it can be scenic, cheesy monuments, funny/corny,or even your own artwork/photograph. Anything related to travel!


Send by July 31, 2003:
Mona & Raven
P.O. Box 630484
Irving, TX 75063





... those who write their return addresses will receive one of our Wedding Magnets* for free! Yes, it looks awfully like the save the date magnets doesn't it? And yes, we're about to change domain name to urbancouple.com, but it's a novelty :-) Everyone who sends us one will be mentioned on our wedding site and we may possibly even scan all the postcard for all to see.
* while supplies last

Ben - would you send us one of your originals like you sent Colette?

Posted 3:43 PM by Blah blah

Sunday Dinner Party

Jane invited me to her house for a dinner party Sunday. She's the one wearing black and sitting on Sophia's lap. You see the only Indian guy in the pix? That's Moorthi, whom I mentioned below. Saturday my friend Dolly invited me to her house for a Chinese New Year's Party, and Sophia will join us. Excuse the picture quality. I didn't take them! There's one godawful one I'm not showing, in which we're all looking different directions, and Bill has his hand up a lampshade.

Click on these pix to enlarge:

Posted 9:36 AM by Blah blah

Secrets of a Master Networker

I think I'll let Pjammer do the blogging for me and just link to him. He always brings up the most thought-provoking and useful stuff.

Navigating the Corridors of Power - Meet Keith Ferazzi.

10 Secrets of a Master Networker (Inc):
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"It's about a personal connection that makes you feel a sense of reciprocity," Ferrazzi says. "Superficiality is not networking. There are people who have lots of superficial connections, and people call that networking. But that's not successful. You feel dirty when you talk to someone like that. The outcome of good networking is the capacity to have a conversation with anyone you want to have a conversation with and then to leave that conversation with a lasting connection of some sort."

The best sort of networking occurs when Ferrazzi can connect two people who don't know each other. Which drives home a surprising implication: the strength of your network derives as much from the diversity of your relationships as it does from their quality or quantity. Most of us know the people within our own profession and social group, and little more. Ferrazzi makes a point of knowing as many people from as many different worlds as possible. The ability to bridge those worlds is a key attribute in managers who are paid better and promoted faster, according to an influential study conducted by Ron Burt, a professor at the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business.

The care and feeding of contacts is a relatively new concept for the business networker. In Power! How to Get It, How to Use It, a 1975 self-help screed on the secrets to becoming a corporate chieftain, Michael Korda advised that "masters players ... attempt to channel as much information as they can into their own hands, then withhold it from as many people as possible." That is, 30 years ago old-style connectors attained power through a monopoly of information, whereas today people like Ferrazzi view the system as social arbitrage, a constant and open exchange of favors and intelligence. It's a sort of career karma, too; how much you give to the network determines how much you'll receive....

"You, me, every one of us -- we have our peer set, and we can always have dinner parties with our peer set, but if you keep having dinner parties with your peer set, why would somebody two levels above your peer set ever come to your dinner parties?" he asks. "The point is, you don't randomly invite somebody two levels above your peer set to your dinner and expect them to come, because they won't. They want to hang around people of their peer set or higher. This is a crass way of talking about it, but this is the formula."

So Ferrazzi developed his theory of the anchor tenant. "What you do," he says, "is find somebody in your peer set who has a friend who is two levels above -- the big swinging dick of the group, the anchor tenant. You get them to come and, in all invitations subsequent to that, you use the anchor to pull in people who otherwise wouldn't attend."
_________________
In some ways this sounds like what you do when you blog. I've always enjoyed bringing people from different worlds together. It's partly why I made Tiger Cafe a group blog in the first place!

For example, I introduced my college friend V to her boyfriend (my coworker) in 2000, and they are still together. I helped arranged a lunch for them to meet and watched how they got along. I'd become friends with this marketing VP girl in 1999 and so arranged a dinner for her, V, and other marketing type girl I knew.

The best Internet networking organization I have found is Ryze, founded by Adrian Scott. I met Adrian at an Asian party in San Francisco, and this incredibly accomplished guy is a networker par excellence! Ever since, I've tried to introduce people, especially business-minded entrepreneurial people I know, to Ryze.

Recently, I met this Indian guy named Moorthi at a salsa dance class. We've become friends. He is a rare guy, interested in both software (trying to start his own web services company) and film (trying to make small films). He also owns an Indian restaurant on the Peninsula. He invited me to a volunteer meeting of SVASE (Silicon Valley Association of Startup Entrepreneurs), which we had at Deloitte & Touche. This group is trying to expand internationally. SVASE's goal is to be a networking group for entrepreneurs, governments, and other groups worldwide to connect to Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. Now their international outreach group is working to build contacts in various countries with chambers of commerces, governments, companies, etc. so that if local companies here want to expand internationally, they will have an infrastructure of contacts in place.

In 2000 I was a tireless networker, and I have come out of my slump from last year and started hitting the pavement again, meeting more and more new people. V used to say it seemed like I knew half the Bay Area, which is a huge exaggeration. But I have never gotten tired of meeting and absorbing the essence of new people. At International House Berkeley, we'd have a big turnover of students, but I loved it and absorbed as much as I could. Each semester we'd get at least 200 new residents, and I'd be out there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, meeting people. I never got tired of that initial interview, of that small talk that leads to the revelation that you two strangers are connected in some ethereal way.

Thanks, Pjammer! This article inspires me to hit the phones, the road, the party invitations, and the emails again. It's good to know that I'm not alone.

Posted 7:49 PM by Blah blah

Tired of Blogging

First, it was Mira's birthday yesterday!!! Happy Birthday, Miss Quirky Sound Effects!

Second, I'm getting rather tired of blogging. We don't have the dialogue or give-and-take here we used to. I find I'm using this blog as a placeholder for thoughts I want to read again and feel like I care less about the audience. Part of it is my fault too. I haven't really read other people's blogs for a while, either. There comes a time when you want to get away from the lives of people you may never meet and focus on those whom are tangible and right before you. A time when you are tired of speculating and eager to accomplish.

I see many people come here but who never leave comments any more. And I wonder, do we really have a connection, or it is like sharing your diary with a neighbor who speaks only Russian? Should I be focusing more of this energy I use to unburden my thoughts into people in real life, in my goals for the future?

I don't know. Maybe I'll give Tiger Cafe another month. I've been writing this since October 2000. Tiger Cafe will be one year old by next week.

My life is too young to be spent retelling old stories. I must live more fresh experiences and write less. Friends is ending by next season. So is Sex and the City. Maybe it's time to pull the plug and for people to keep in touch with me the old-fashioned way.

Posted 7:46 PM by Blah blah

Best Thriller in History: 24, with Kiefer Sutherland

I've been going gaga over the Fox TV show 24 recently. I bought and watched the entire first season here at Amazon.com for a very affordable price. And I was riveted!!! Basically, it's better than James Bond, better than Mission Impossible, and more real than Alias. The writing and acting are superb, the characters are three-dimensional, and I was gripping my sofa the whole time and could barely come up for air! More info on the cast and crew.

Here's a revealing interview with Kiefer Sutherland, the main actor.

This show is unique in TV history. Each hour of the show equals an hour in the actual time of the hero's life, so that by the end of the season, you've watched just one full day in the hero's life. It's essentially a 24-hour-long thriller movie!

Read the tons of five star reviews here at Amazon.com for a flavor of the show. For example:
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As most people who watch television know, every show out there has a dud episode that simply exists as filler. But with 24, the case is different. Yes, there is a silly subplot introduced late in the season that's obviously there just to take up some time (let's just say it involves amnesia), but even at its weakest, 24 is still capable of providing more of an adrenaline rush than three summer blockbuster actioners combined. Yes, that's how thrilling this series is, and when you factor in the great characters, complex script, and Stephen Hopkins' surprisingly adept eye at mixing high-octane thrills and touching drama, then you've got yourself an innovative, masterful thriller that follows through on its real-time concept with verve and supreme confidence.

For those unfamiliar with 24, the plot revolves around CTU agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland). He's having a little trouble at home around midnight, when he finds that his estranged daughter, Kim (Elisha Cuthbert), has run off for the night. Before he and his wife, Teri (Leslie Hope), can serach for her, he's urgently called to work; it's believed that within the next 24 hours there will be an assassination attempt on Senator David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert), a black presidential candidate who stands a good chance of becoming the next leader of the free world.

Plot-wise, that's all you need to know. The joy of the series comes from the unexpected plot twists and the crescendo in suspense as you wonder how Bauer is going to get himself out of this mess he's in. Yeah, there are some minor plot contrivances here and there, but they're hard to notice, and it's only after some extreme nitpicking you're going to notice a few flaws. The central storyline holds together amazingly well and never bogs down in confusion. The script also adds a lot of little nuances in the plot that'll put a smile on your face (watch what Sutherland does in episode 4 when he's desperate to interview a prisoner).

In concept, 24 probably sounds easy and gimmicky, but in reality, the show must have been ridiculously hard to pull off. Little details such as traffic light can no longer be ignored. Action must immediately pick up from where it last left off and the filmmakers have to juggle several subplots together without forgetting the constraints in time. And somehow, they pull it off. Not for a moment does the series ever lose momentum or drag in pacing. Not for a second did I ever find myself less than completely engrossed by the converging subplots. And I most certainly never contemplated pressing the fast forward button (I watched 24 on DVD).

24 delivers its share of action sequences. There are shootouts, chases, and cat-and-mouse games, which might sound requisite and perfunctory, but all the action here is tightly choreographed and work in service of the story. Thus, the tension is ratcheted up a few notches during some of the gunfights and chases. The final episode is probably the series' most thrilling segment; capping off with a two-fisted gun battle that actually resonates on a dramatic level and then a shootout between two passing cars, a "money shot" scene if I ever saw one.

An aspect of assassination plots that's always bugged me is that the guy whose life is in danger is usually nothing more than a macguffin to drive the plot forward. 24, thankfully, doesn't fall into this trap. As played superbly by Dennis Haysbert, Palmer is a fully developed flesh-and-blood individual who's ultimately compelling and likeable. The turmoil developing in his campaign an inriguing dimension to his character that a lesser film or series would have ignored.

Good as Haysbert is, it's Kiefer Sutherland who steals the show. After years of second-rate roles and glorified supporting performances, Sutherland finally gets back on track, showing why he's one of the most underrated actors around. Simply put, he delivers the best performance of his career, creating the perfect balance between tough action hero and everday family man. Leslie Hope is equally as good as his wife, Teri, carrying a Lion's share of the series' emotional baggage and pulling it off without a hitch. It's a pity she didn't get a nomination or two for her terrific work. The rest of the cast is quite good, though Elisha Cuthbert has gotten some criticism here and there. It's not a bad performance, but admittedly, she's least convincing when she shouts.

24 ends on a surprisingly powerful note, a dramatic punch of a final scene that transcends this series from great entertainment to the realm of cinematic masterpiece (okay, no complaining, I realize this is still TV). Just ask yourself if any of the other networks would have had the guts to end it the way they did. Kudos to the series creators and Fox for delivering such a memorable conclusion. The main story arcs are resolved, but everyone has a price to pay. 24 is, without a doubt, the best show on television today and I absolutely cannot wait for season two.

Posted 7:02 PM by Blah blah

An Open Letter to Blogdom
or, an Unqualified Jackass Shares an Opinion No One Asked

by Sour Bob in Chicago, a guy working through his divorce. Bitter, but true!

After belatedly joining the blog community, Sour Bob has performed an exhaustive survey of the medium, and has come up with the following list of talking points he hopes his compatriots will take into consideration.

1. There are a limited number of people in the world who give a shit what kind of bubble bath you use. Maybe you could come up with something to say, rather than regurgitating an exhaustive laundry list of the inane crap you did today.

2. Congratulations! You're the 1000th blogger to post that same goddamned Apple link. Corporate America® thanks you for doing its marketing for free.

3. Enough already with the animated icons. What are you fifteen frigging years old? You are? Um, sorry. You probably have enough problems. Pay no attention to the bitter old man.

4. A tiny 72 dpi picture of your cat looks exactly like a tiny 72 dpi picture of anybody else's cat. Post a picture of an interesting dog or don't bother.

5. A flag! "God Bless America"! So you know the word "patriotism." How about "jingoism"? Familiar with that one?

6. You do web design? And you have a blog? What are the odds?

7. The last thing the world needs is another news-obsessed 25-45 year old white guy endlessly republishing every link having anything to do with "The War on Terrorism." Kudos for staying informed dude, but maybe you need a date.

8. Cheers to the goth kids, who've brought their maudlin, achingly predictable rants from sticker-covered spiral notebooks to computer screens the world over. Like, no one understands them, you know? Not even the scores of other goth teens with their own blogs.

9. It's a good thing you wrote a somber reflection on 9/11. I was having trouble finding anything on that.

10. Your poetry sucks, hon. Seriously. Maybe you should focus on bubble bath.

11. You found a ten question quiz telling you which of a handful of odious pop culture figures your personality vaguely resembles? How precious!

12. I am not going to PayPal you any money for the "privilege" of reading your blog. Get over yourself. I save my PayPal money for eBay and pornography just like every other embittered insomniac Internet addict.

Posted 4:04 PM by Blah blah

Should Men Look As Good As Women?

Article from AskMen, by Jordan Stein:

I don't know where this notion that men should look as good as women came from, but I'd like to have a few words with the guys who put it out there.

For years, we were cruising. We were investing minimal time and effort in our appearance and still netting quantifiable results with the opposite sex. Where our demands prompted some women to make meals out of celery sticks and others to contend with the excruciating pain of ever-decreasing bikini lines, theirs were pretty easy to indulge. We were the fortunate beneficiaries of rock-bottom expectations.

Then, suddenly, a tidal wave of change was upon us. I can't pinpoint the exact timing -- I was too young and too oblivious to shifting patterns and trends back then -- but it occurred around the tail end of the century and it forever altered the male condition. An explosion in men's products, magazines, models, and fitness left ordinary guys excuseless for not looking their best. And there was absolutely nothing legions of couch jockeys could do about it.

keeping up with the janes
Aesthetically, I think, women are supposed to outclass men and I, for one, was comfortable with that. Still am. If turning more heads than the fairer sex were up there on my "to do" list, I'd relocate to northern California. Yet I find myself suffering in silence because the guy on the cover of Men's Health is making me feel inadequate about my physique. If this is how it feels to have society's concept of beauty constantly rubbed in your face, I'm not interested.

But my lack of interest, unfortunately, is no match for my lack of choice. I don't want to hop on the bandwagon, but I know that if I don't at least tailgate, my stock could go the way of Enron. Necessity, it seems, is the mother of reinvention.

new and improved
The new me now wails on his abdominal muscles three days out of a week, drops a hundred dollars on a pair of jeans because the yummy clerk assures him that they “hug” his ass and squanders precious shower minutes exfoliating his face.

The new me considers the ritual of kneading dry skin with moisturizer to be nothing more than a geographical hazard of living in an unforgiving climate and remembers to throw on designer bowling shoes before going out, because the new me's friends will disown him if he ruins their chances of getting into a cool club.

The new me drinks lots of water to restore life to a chalky complexion, wears trace amounts of good cologne, doesn't let his fingernails get to be bite size, and even likes to layer.

By succumbing to an imposed construct of hotness, the new me has become society's bitch.

great expectations
Since stepping it up, I've had the occasional woman tell me I smell good or comment favorably on my shirt, but they're not surprised. It's not like they're thinking, Wow, it's about time he hung up the sweatpants and retired the baseball cap. On the contrary, they expect this level of decorum from me, from you, from all of us.

I'm being forced to work twice as hard for a fraction of attention, but I guess some is better than none. When I leave the house, I'm surrounded by multitudes of well-dressed, well-groomed automatons who, like me, still begrudge the fact that somebody raised the bar on the male ideal while they were fast asleep.

In the aftermath of the rude awakening comes the sense that trying to look as good as women is a near impossible feat. They have an uncanny ability to draw stares, notwithstanding great or average looks. They have flowing hair, ours recedes. They have natural curves, we have gym memberships. They can entice with ample cleavage, we can disgust with abundant chest hair.

lessons learned
I've learned that sticking to a program designed by somebody who spends their days racking my weights makes me look better in clothes -- a potential first step in getting a woman out of hers.

I've learned to reduce dressing to its most basic elemental form, which serves the dual purpose of ease and expediency: Dressy and casual, perfect and imperfect.

The Perfect Look
The perfect look is slick. It's the most expensive dark suit you can afford; a tailored pair of slacks and dress shirt, a thin merino or cashmere sweater, and classic leather shoes. It's spending a little more on items you know are going to last.

The Imperfect Look
The imperfect look is paired down and slightly unkempt. It's a cool pair of stonewashed jeans, an untucked shirt that doesn't drape below the mid-thigh, a solid color, casual sweater, a fitted T, and a few days' growth. It's shopping at stores whose prices end in eight.

The upside to this entire fiasco, on those days when my glass is half full, is that the exercise will probably make me healthier and the extra time spent grooming should help me look my best. The downside is I'm not sure who I'm doing it for.

I still don't think men should look as good as women. I still don't think we can. I do think, however, that we need to look our absolute best, or else face the wrath of a very vain world. You know, the same one women have been living in all along.

Posted 10:46 PM by Blah blah

Photos of Vienna Teng on David Letterman Last Night

Eric, as usual, was remarkably thorough. Check out his photos of Vienna from the TV last night! Go Vienna! Wow, she got to sit next to Dave. That's a big thing in itself.

Posted 12:44 PM by >> B

Le Cinema de Shrub



The photo on the left is from an anti-war sign that I shot at the San Francisco Anti-War Protest on Saturday. The picture on the right or "Frodo Has Failed" was sent to me the other day. I enjoy it when political satire crosses into movie parodies, especially ones that are as well done as these...

Posted 12:16 PM by Blah blah

Latest photos. DSL and wireless at last!



Here are my latest two photos. Go to the Dec. 2002 folder. We were seeing a play at this theater in San Francisco, by the American Conservatory Theater. I just went to a dinner party last night, so more pix coming up soon!

We finally got our DSL connection! And tonight we bought wireless adapters for our laptops, so I can use the Internet around the house, wire-free!!! BLOGGING FROM THE BATHROOM, here we come!

Posted 9:30 PM by Raven

Calling it quits

I have been wrestling with this decision for a few weeks now, but I'm just now getting around to taking some action. (That should give you an indication of how hectic my life has been lately). After a lot of thought and consideration I have decided that I am going to resign as a co-writer for Tiger Cafe.

When I first signed on here I was really enthusiastic about the opportunity because there were tons of other talented co-writers here, and I would have an opportunity to give greater visibility to my writing. I think it worked fairly well for a while but at some point it stopped feeling like something fun and started feeling more like work or an obligation that went on my lengthy "to-do" list each week. So what it basically comes down to is that I haven't had enough time to make writing here a priority. Since I know Raymond likes to have everyone write about once a week I started feeling guilty when weeks would go by or when the week would be drawing to a close and I couldn't think of anything interesting to write about or even worse didn't have time to write.

What's going on? Well a lot actually.

Finalizing May 10th wedding plans. We had most of the major things taken care of but its the details that kill you. The next few months are going to be a little stressful for both of us. My current stance on marriage: alope if at all possible!

Work. As usual work has been really hectic of late. I have been working hard to get this project I'm working on delivered as well as trying to study for my Siebel certification in the evenings. I'm supposed to take the exam Jan 30th.

Future Planning. If anyone has been keeping up with Mona they'll know that she is planning on going back to school for photography in the fall of '03. Not only that but we will be moving to San Francisco as well after the wedding. Just trying to get everything lined up to make that successful has been a major headache for me in a lot of ways so far, and will continue to be for some time to come. Admission, selling our stuff, finding housing, etc.

Website stuff. Recently I came to the realization that hosting our wedding website on my home computer connected to the internet with a cable modem was a woefully inadequate solution. I didn't run into bandwidth problems, but rather too many users connecting at once causing the server to be down for some users. My fear was that when our guests went to RSVP online the site would be unavailable or too busy and they would get frustrated and say to hell with it. So I signed up with a hosting provider and am in the process of converting all my ASP scripts to PHP (and learning PHP at the same time) so we won't have these problems. I'm also trying to correct a few design mistakes along the way. All in all a gargantuan task.

So, given all those things I just don't think I have time to devote myself to writing anything of any quality for Tiger Cafe at this point. I do plan to keep up with everyone here and comment on the posts as I see fit. I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for reading my stuff and taking the opportunity to get to know me a little. I'm certain Raymond and I will keep in touch so I won't be dropping off the face of the planet or anything; I may even ask to come back at some point. Hopefully the invitation will be open if my life calms down anytime soon.

I wish you all the best. Take care!

Posted 3:18 PM by jc

Um, I guess this my entry...?

---

Drainage
Beth later said she was in the bathroom for just a few minutes. John disagreed; at least twenty, he said. Who knows how long she tarried there, moments after the proposal. Funny he should be comforted by the idea that she had remained for so long.

She had been elated with the question. She had gone to the bathroom to freshen up after weeping happily at the proposal. Silly girl. I suppose it was quite a surprise.

Beth went to wash the happy tears from her eyes, and decided to remove the ring while she did so. All went well until she was set to return the ring back to her finger. Her hands were still wet.

She had watched it go down. She had been frantic to retrieve it. She had squatted there, crying, thinking, pouring over her options. Finally, after her three or his twenty minutes had passed, she had done what she could.


So she left to tell John.