Posted 5:35 PM by Blah blah

Parties. Mainland Chinese. Yoga.

Party party party! Tomorrow night I'm going to this big Asian American party in SF, sponsored by my college dormmate Huang and friends like this Taiwanese girl Annie. Over 150 people responded to this invitation right away! Annie planned a dinner at a sushi place beforehand for people to get acquainted, but that guest list filled up within hours! She had to set up another dinner at a Thai place. I'll be there. Just got invited to a couple more parties through my mainland Chinese friends---this Valentine's party by this group SyPA and a mid-February party, the Spring Festival gala set up by my friend June, one of the officers of the CNetwork. These are two groups to be in if you want to meet mainland Chinese around here. A bunch of people I met from yoga are CNetwork officers.

For single people, Valentine's Day is the ultimate way of rubbing it in. Ehem---I think I'll pass. Also, I went to that place one year ago with N, who's from Nanjing. Given my past tendency to date mainland Chinese girls, I really need a change.

June is a tiny dynamo. A product analyst for Oracle, she just got her MBA about a year ago and is very active in the executive committee of the CNetwork, one of the main people planning their annual China Tour. I know Christine will love this:

"Our aspiration of initiating CNetwork Annual China Tours is to promote communication, collaboration and entrepreneurship between Silicon Valley and China, and to enhance the impact of CNetwork both in the US and in China. CNetwork is dedicated to creating an exciting and effective conduit for overseas Chinese professionals to develop winning projects in China.

CNetwork China Tour 2000: a great success

The 2000 China Tour Team represented 12 high tech projects, attended the Second Annual China High Tech Fair in Shenzhen, visited Shanghai, and made substantial achievements in October 2000.

- $45 million letters of intent signed
- Met with high profile governmental officials and business decision makers
- At least three companies on the team obtained funding and opened offices in China as of Spring 2001"

I met June and Wei when we had this yoga fundraiser for Sept. 11th last year. June is always going to the Women in Business meetings. Wei, a chemist from New York, is also really active. She practices Chinese traditional dancing with this small group and also sings in a chorus. Last November Wei invited me to watch her and these other girls practice for the big party they ended up having. They invited me to practice with them, but I was like "no way am I gonna be the only guy here, looking like a clutz." I ended up playing peekaboo with the six-year-old daughter of one of the dancers.

One of my old classmates, Sally, from Wuhan, invited me to do yoga with her on Saturdays, so we checked out this place last weekend. After I had already tried Ashtanga Yoga last year, which is supposed to be the most physically demanding style, last weekend's version---Iyengar---was a piece of cake! At first I kinda looked down on yoga as wimpy, but the Ashtanga style would get very strenuous and tiring after the first fifteen minutes. We would flex and contract muscle groups we didn't know existed, and we'd end the class sweating and be sore the next day, but very relaxed and stress-free. Peggy wrote me how much she appreciates an exercise that you can do without a lot of jumping and competition, something I'll bet she relied on when she was pregnant. Anyhow, last Saturday's class turned out too easy for me, so I'll check out the intermediate class this weekend.

Yoga is kinda sexy, you know, and the teacher (an Asian lady) told us to do this unusual move that made my mind wander...heheh. We each got a chair and put our mat on its seat. Then we took a couple of small folded rugs and stacked them beneath the chair. We sat backwards in our chairs, legs facing the back, and dangled them over the backrest. Then we had to fully lean back so we were hanging upside down. Next we extended our arms beneath our chairs towards our legs. What's gonna happen next, I kept thinking?

Our teacher made us ease our shoulders down slowly until they rested on the rugs and our necks were bent flat on the floor in an "L." Then with our back and arms still braced against our chairs, we raised our legs vertically and held them. So she made us go through this whole ritual to have us do a shoulder stand. I could have just done it right away, and I don't need no chair to brace me either---just my elbows!

But it was sexy!...*wink* I also felt I had been plopped into the middle of Mel Gibson's movie What Women Want when the teacher would, before each move, keep saying: "If you are into your menstrual cycle, ladies, make sure you do this carefully. Tuck your butt in....blah blah blah."

Ah well, I had not wanted to tell my guy friends about this, but...but...YOU won't tell anybody, won't you?

Posted 11:05 AM by Blah blah

Was checking out what Christine was up to last night when I stumbled on her account of poor Ben's bad haircut! Yup, Ben, it looks like a new (very hairy) fetus indeed. Congratulations to the loving couple *wink*. Since I live not too far from Ben, I called him up and within half an hour we were having dinner at this delicious new Malaysian/Singaporean place, Penang Garden. He came wearing a Nike cap like he mentions and I never got to see the goods, but we had a lot of fun talking. It's so weird how fast the Net lets people connect, if you use it right. Someone over 10,000 miles away influenced my dinner last night, just like that. Have you guys read James Gleick's book Chaos? He talks about the famous Butterfly Effect, of how scientists studying chaos ask questions like: "Does the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?"

In a small way, writing our little observations here influences people around the world in ways we could never imagine. Awesome. In fact I would never have known Ben existed if it weren't for Christine's Webring. Now I just need to post something crazy going on in Taipei...

Another cool thing I learned was that Ben used to perform hip hop dance with a group of other guys. He was a DJ too! We've gotta go clubbing sometime.

Posted 8:55 AM by Blah blah

If you have been following the battle between Walter Hewlett vs. the heads of HP and Compaq over their proposed merger, look out---it has moved onto the web! Hewlett, son of HP co-founder William Hewlett, started a website to argue his case against the merger. HP brass in turn started its own site to argue for it.

Gerstner to Step Down as I.B.M. Chief (NY Times): "Louis V. Gerstner Jr., an outsider who guided a remarkable turnaround at I.B.M. and transformed its once-hidebound culture, announced today that he would step down as the chief executive on March 1.

The timing of the announcement was mildly surprising, coming a bit earlier than industry analysts had expected. But Mr. Gerstner's move was widely foreseen within the company and the computer business, as was the decision by the I.B.M. board today to name Samuel J. Palmisano, the president, as the new chief executive. Mr. Gerstner turns 60 on March 1, and he had told colleagues he was aiming for that date, with the final word coming at the board meeting today at company headquarters here.

Mr. Gerstner, who will remain as chairman to advise Mr. Palmisano until the end of the year, would not say in an interview what he will do next. A sturdy, vigorous man, whose regimen includes daily workouts, Mr. Gerstner made clear that stepping aside at I.B.M. would not mean retirement. His interests include public policy and education, as well as business. He had been mentioned as a possible cabinet member in the Bush administration, and he has written a book on education and been chairman of education conferences, promoting national testing and standards of achievement."

Posted 8:45 PM by Blah blah

Thanks for your patience! Continuing our chat as if nothing happened...

In the quest for journals better than mine, I stumbled onto Shou? by Igor Boog. What a name. Well he's not in America. Igor's based in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, works as a Middle East correspondent, and spends much time in Beirut. I love journals by professional writers. Helps us make some sense of the Rosetta Stone called the Middle East. Now if only the NY Times's Thomas Friedman would do the same!

From Dolly's party: cute (and risqué) baby and cute mommy pix are coming soon! I'm getting there...

God as Alan Greenspan (Take Two)

Had a great long talk with Sam last weekend. Now that he's a securities trader turned divinity student, we got hot and heavy into religion. As you probably know, I am a Christian-turned-agnostic. Note that it was really late and both of us were probably hallucinating about Hello Kitty. Some excerpts:

confucius007: i'm not religious.... i love God... to me, there's a huge difference in there
me: ok...you mean you do it from within rather than as a "fashion statement" for society
confucius007: not quite
confucius007: put it this way... i hate legalistic religiousness
confucius007: the whole "you should do this, you should not do that"
confucius007: and if you do this, this and this, then you are okay to be called "Christian". in my books, that's totally bogus
me: ok but doesn't that put you at odds with a lot of the orthodoxy? shouldn't you believe in and do certain things to be "christian"?
confucius007: then you know what i mean when i made the whole "brownie points" thing...
confucius007: well, that's a question to be answered later... we can go on and on over that question... and giving a short answer probably would not do it justice
me: if you go too far the other way, you'd be considered "spiritual" and not "religious" right?
confucius007: hmmm.... perhaps
me: like i had a long discussion with my friend mag about my beliefs
me: she's very catholic....with all my disagreements she was like: "oh that's very reasonable..."
me: in the end she said "you ARE religious, you just don't call yourself that"
confucius007: it's the whole difference between works-based faith vs. faith-based works i think...
me: so which do you believe in?
confucius007: you answer the question first... what do you think?
me: i'm a works guy
confucius007: and on some level, that's what we all think...
me: i think actions are more important than declarations of faith
me: anyhow we could talk for hours about this, i see...i have a lot of views...why doesn't god do this or that ....
confucius007: so what does the whole "works guy" thing mean? you think Christianity is a works-based faith?
me: but it's late and i don't want to give you a hangover
confucius007: yup... we can reserve discussion for when we hook up when i visit... [Sam is visiting the Bay Area later this year! Yeahahhh!]
confucius007: we can have some very cool discussions
me: no i know christianity teaches faith first
me: look i used to lead bible studies
confucius007: so?
confucius007: sorry, i don't mean to be in your face about it
me: no i mean i know the standard answers
me: that's all
confucius007: but leading any bible study does not mean that your heart was at any point in time on fire for God
me: at that time it was
me: but that's another story
confucius007: yes... i think we have lots to talk about
confucius007: i'm curious in how you fell out of your faith
me: well i wrote about it
confucius007: i remember reading it...
confucius007: but it was a while back.. and since then, some of your convictions may have changed...
me: basically i've become more practical as things happened
me: for instance my uncle's death
me: my relatives tried to convert him and send someone to pray with him even though he and his family refused it
me: i believe in FAITH in something
me: to give your life meaning
me: not necessarily in god though
confucius007: you resent the fact that your relatives tried to force something on your uncle?
me: well not really..i expected it
confucius007: so what turned you off then?
me: i just saw it was useless
confucius007: because?
me: let's say he, a lifelong atheist, had agreed to convert
me: i didn't see how that would be better
me: he was facing up to his cancer straight, with no illusioins
me: that's how he lived his life...he was a scientist
me: his familiy is also not religious
confucius007: better in terms of what?
me: in terms of helping him cope with his death
me: my relatives were more concerned that he wouldn't be saved
me: but his family and i thought...this would go against his whole life...what he stood for...if he changed his mind now
me: anyhow (and i know this is not for most religious people) i found my relatives impractical and fatalistic
me: in trying to help my uncle...
me: while i was trying to get him the best and fastest treatment
me: they were off saying "ah well...i'll pray for you"
confucius007: gosh... so many questions on my end...
confucius007: okay... so that's what turned you off Christ?
me: no
me: it's too long
me: but one example
me: is that i find god makes himself so invisible
me: even if people like my mom are so devoted, read their bibles daily, go to church 3x a week
me: ah well i can't explain it now
me: anyhow, after experience
confucius007: okay... well, we can save it for a later date...
me: i've come to think of god, if he exists,
me: as someone like alan greenspan
me: see my entry about it
confucius007: interesting... yes, we'll talk about this later...
me: that's the vision of god that makes most sense to me
me: a distant macroeconomist
me: not a being who tinkers with the day to day
confucius007: it's gonna be a funky interaction when we talk... it's gonna be an agnostic-turned-Christian talking to a Christian-turned-agnostic...
me: it's like if we call alan greenspan up and leave a voice mail for him
me: with our financial problems...will he ever respond?
me: if he never does, maybe he's not really there?
me: but we know he's there dealing with broad, macroeconomic things
confucius007: hmm.... interesting
me: right? for instance, how do we know alan greenspan really exists?
me: we only see him on tv and read about him in the papers
me: we never met him or talked to him
me: it's like that with god
me: for me
me: but we see the impact on prices and indirectly
confucius007: hmmm...
me: that's how i feel...i never have really heard a direct "voice from god"
confucius007: so you see that the chief ends for Him is to get a whole bunch of things done, right?
me: well i've become practical about judging him based on actions, yes
me: like talking to us
me: even when i was deeply religious
me: and praying regularly and truly believing everything
me: i still was never sure if i heard anything
me: either god was too busy to deal with me or not there
me: That's how i think---if god IS there, he's just too busy with the big picture
me: otherwise, maybe he's not really there
confucius007: very interesting...
me: ok look, we keep learning that god is omnipotent
me: yet honestly can you say you "heard" him talking to you?
me: or does he always answer you indirectly?
confucius007: i dunno what that has to do with omnipotence...
confucius007: but...
confucius007: how can i answer this...
me: well ok...but if he's omnipotent, he should have time to talk to each of us
me: he shouldn't be too busy
confucius007: hmmmmm...
me: people will say, "well he answered me thru my friend...or this thing happened"
me: that's indirect
confucius007: have you ever tried to talk to someone when you were in a loud rock concert?
me: so you're saying there's a lot of interference
confucius007: i'm saying that when there are 10-gazillion things going on around you, it affects us in whether we can actually hear what He has to say
me: ok but i'm talking in church, focused on being totally receptive
confucius007: it's not that He doesn't speak to us, it's that we don't allow ourselves to hear His voice
me: and still not hearing anything
confucius007: no... being in church means squat
confucius007: being anywhere means dick all... to be honest
me: i know...i mean being spiritually receptive then
confucius007: define "spiritually receptive?"
me: well that's hard
me: you would do it better
confucius007: it's your words
confucius007: so you have to know what you are talking about
confucius007: sorry, but i can't define the words for you, when they come out of your own mouth
me: well i mentioned it before
confucius007: put it this way... i asked you about the rock concert thingy...
me: i was seriously believing in the bible and trying to follow its precepts, believing in jesus and his purpose and crucifixion, knowing i was a sinner, etc.....i asked to hear god's wisdom, i prayed, i thanked him...etc...
me: but i really heard only my own thoughts
me: or i was unsure
me: i thought...how good a reception do i have to get? a satellite dish?
me: this was after several years as a christian
confucius007: if each voice and each sound represents something that is your own ideals, desires, and will that goes outside of God... then it would do well to block out any voice that is God's...
confucius007: often times, when God speaks, He uses a very silent voice
confucius007: very subtle... one that is hard for us to hear
me: 1st of all, how do you know that? 2nd, what for---why not a loud voice?
me: I understand the "free will" argument
me: but my free will at that time WAS to hear him
me: i chose to
me: but still he did not reply
confucius007: what's the "free will" argument?
me: that god does not want to force us to believe in him...he let's us chooose
me: so he tries to be inconspicuous and let things be ambiguous
me: not try to show himself or make himself too obvious
confucius007: there is a difference between obvious and overpowering
me: look i just ask that he say something!
confucius007: what were you asking for?
me: it's not either/or...a whisper or a shout
me: we could have a normal conversation
me: that's what i need
me: and want
confucius007: interesting...
me: not indirect--thru pastors or friends or events
me: but directly from god
me: why is god so ambigious in his statements so that he requires so many interpreters and years of professional training to understand what he means?
me: why can't he be clear
me: why doesn't he revise the Bible periodically
me: and let everyone know
me: like legislators do
confucius007: can i ask you a question though? and i don't mean to put you on the defensive... but why are you asking about this now? are you honestly
looking for God? or are you trying to convince yourself that He does not exist? i'm curious...
me: well you asked me why i lost my faith
me: these are some of the main reasons
confucius007: ah yes...
me: i got tired of watiing for god to speak up
confucius007: were you waiting for an audible voice?
confucius007: were you looking for an event that would take you into dreamland?
me: something i could see was truly from him and not indirect
confucius007: and what would have helped you distinguish that?
me: i don't know...god should know how to make himself clear to me
me: c'mon...leave me a voicemail at least
me: i'm not kidding
me: i mean god knows what standards we have nowadays
me: what means of communication we have
me: why not use those?
me: he is all powerful
me: pastors say he does not want to sink to "our level"
me: that doesn't make sense to me...why else would he send Jesus...a man
me: and Jesus = God
me: look ---it's like if your girlfriend said she loved you
me: but never returned your calls or letters
confucius007: sorry... i'm spacing out (it's 5am right now)... trying to keep up though...
me: would you believe her
confucius007: i totally see where you are coming from
me: i was patient...i waited and waited
me: heard nothing...didn't see anything that couldn't be explained as being done by man or as coincidence
me: i couldn't see the effect of my prayers
confucius007: i was there 3 years ago... from the age of 12 until the age of 27 or so... i never heard His voice and i couldn't figure out how He could say
that He wants to be in a relationship with us when I never once heard His voice, and couldn't pick out His voice from anything else in my head
me: so you waited 15 years???
confucius007: no... i drifted in and out of faith
confucius007: essentially agnostic
confucius007: as i said... i term myself as agnostic-turned-Christian...
confucius007: i didn't feel that God had any part of my life...
confucius007: and i asked many similar questions
me: well i never questioned god at first....started church by the time i was 5 years old
me: 5 to 15
me: 10 years
confucius007: and then you started to question God from 15 onwards?
me: yes
me: basically
confucius007: that makes sense
me: i was selected for a "discipleship" program
me: my sunday school teacher saw potential in me to spread the word
me: and others....so he gave us special training
me: and special books to read
me: we were being prepared to witness
me: to "sell god"
me: Before I would do that, however, I realized I needed to solidify my faith
me: I reexamined exactly why i believed what i did
confucius007: i think i read that in your journals
me: and found holes in it...doubt
me: If it were not for the fact that I was a serious Christian
me: I would not have been in that position
confucius007: dude... you know, this is absolutely fascinating, trust me when i say this
confucius007: and if you weren't telling me this at 5am, i'd be locked into this conversation... but i'm seriously spacing out
me: well i found this cool book by this Harvard psychology prof
me: called The Psychology of Religion
confucius007: plus i have to get up in 3 hours for church...
confucius007: oh yeah? gosh, that looks interesting...
me: ok...it talks about how our beliefs change and MUSt change as we mature in life
me: yes, take a look!
me: so i was trying to grow up from my childhood beliefe to my adult belief..and the old simplifications cannot apply
me: i needed a different paradigm
confucius007: honestly, that's completely expected
confucius007: i hate sunday school answers
me: absolutely....
confucius007: and i felt that's all i got to my deeper questions, and it frustrated me to no ends
me: anyhow, you see, Sam, I prefer talking about philosophy than religion because philosophy never has definite answers
me: and that's the world is usually
me: i studied a lot of physics...and physicists try to get to the root of all of the questions about matter
me: but they never do either....!
me: and they are ok with that
confucius007: science cannot get to the bottom of anything without any acknowledgement of God... that's why they are okay with "that"
me: ha...well that's another book there
me: anyhow....you should go to sleep, dude!
me: i always enjoy talking with someone like you
confucius007: because physicists are not allowed to state any belief in any God if they want to retain their status in the academic world
confucius007: we'll talk more in the future... definitely
me: you seriously try to get deep and those people are rare
me: well that's not true..Einstein believed
me: people don't judge a physicist by his religious OR political beliefs...ideally
confucius007: the key word is "ideally"
me: ok well....as long as his scientific papers follow the scientific method and are peer reviewed...there's no problem
me: it doesn't matter what his religious beliefs are
confucius007: anyway... we'll continue later... i need to sleep, dude
confucius007: really...
me: ok in real life...sure..people are influenced or prejudiced always....
me: ok talk later!

Boy, you see how sometimes I can't stop talking.