Posted 8:05 AM by Blah blah

View Archived Tags

Did you know you can see all of the messages on my site's tagboard from March onwards? Just click on the little drawing of a piece of paper ("View Archived Tags"). It's next to the happy face on the left column of this site.

I call this blog "Tiger CAFE" because I want it to be a casual, relaxing place for people to hang out. Chatting with me and each other is a big part of the attraction. For people who never post here, don't be shy. Please speak up. Otherwise, I'd call it "Tiger Monastery."

Posted 1:26 PM by Blah blah

Lisa's Luau

Someone took a picture of me Saturday. I was at Lisa's Luau party in Campbell. As you see, I am very tan now. I've been playing tennis, roller hockey, and swimming like crazy. For the last week I've been swimming around 30-50 laps a day.

Luau Pictures.

Posted 1:55 PM by Blah blah

Dog Pictures! (Photos)

Photos of my housemate K with our new dog Niki! I took these today in our living room. Niki loves biting us, especially our feet! I had to lie on the carpet and lift my legs.

Niki, an eight-week old Pomeranian, is SO feisty and outgoing! She barely makes any noise but rolls on the floor and leaps for your toes like that!

K is wearing her usual silk lingerie. Click on pics for full-size:

Posted 12:55 PM by Blah blah

Niki: New Dog!

We just got a PUPPY DOG today! Welcome to our family, NIKI! It's a girl Pomeranian. I will post pics of Niki soon! She's only about one and a half feet long and looks like a fluffy toy. She's white, smaller than the dog below. My housemates are so tickled.

Christina has a Pomeranian too. Her dog's picture:


Autopsy Report (Forensic Medicine)

Autopsy Report has a new URL. Read this blog about the stories of a medical examiner intern. A gross out, but addictive.

I find this show The New Detectives on the Discovery Channel so compelling! And HBO produces Autopsy.

Posted 8:40 AM by Blah blah

Come Dance Tonight, 7:15 pm. Join MixerMixer. (Events)

Come dance with us tonight at Starlite! Some of my friends, who are not on this list, are coming. See Map.

Mariah (see her homepage) and I are hosting. Remember to tell them at the door that I referred you.



Mariah says: "Yes, I have competed in all 4 styles, all 19 dances. On the side I know some hustle and West Coast swing. I have spent the least amount of time on bolero and Viennese waltz though. I do compete in them, but less often than the rest. This year I was the captain of the team at school and attended a competition every single weekend. It was crazy!!!...

There goes Ray, embarassing me by posting my dance resume. Well I just thought I would post this wonderful website.

ballroomdancers.com

This is a great place to check out weekly variations in video format, written lessons about turning and spinning, and basic moves in each dance if you need some review or if you are a beginner. There is even a glossary of dance terminology. I suggest looking under "learning center". =) And if you really want to browse around, there are some *hot* costumes for sale. Mmmmm...sexy latin costumes. Every girl needs one. See you all and don't be afraid to ask me any questions you might have. ^o^"

If you still haven't joined MixerMixer, what are you waiting for? I've already met a ton of new people from it, IN THE FLESH. I like it better than Friendster, which doesn't make your Internet relationships into flesh-and-blood ones.

I'm old-fashioned and prefer talking on the phone and meeting people in the flesh to fantasy Internet relationships.

The best part is that anyone can plan an event and it pops up in the calendar for all to see. So far it has over 2000 members, mostly in the Bay Area, but it's spreading around the country.

It's completely free. Plus the site loads quickly and has never crashed.

Join MixerMixer, invite your friends, and create your own social hub, regardless of where you live!

Posted 1:17 PM by Blah blah

Check out these photos of

Korean Stars Before and After,

by fatxboy. God, are they the same women? It's those huge, baby eyes. I'll bet a lot of girls are saying, "Find me her plastic surgeon and stylist!"

Goofy Pictures (Photos)

Haha! Sonially just posted a bunch of wacky pictures she makes and sends to her parents on postcards.

Click for full-size:




My pix, from when I highlighted my hair:

Posted 5:10 PM by Blah blah

I Am Not a Party Boy! Speed Dating.

Just joined the San Francisco Bay Area Journals list. It's maintained by another British girl, Johanna. She tells me that the cable channel, TechTV, plans to talk about this list of blogs, so make sure to get yours on here.

Just want you to know that I am NOT a party boy. It just happens to look that way recently, since various people are asking me for favors or inviting me to stuff.

Going to Lisa's Summer Nights Garden Party soon at The Corner Cafe in Cupertino, which will raise money for Ladda's Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Lisa is a good friend of the cafe's owner. Patrick and Ladda will be there.

Lisa is also running a Speed Dating event at the same time tonight, just next to where we'll be sitting. Here's how it works: she organizes people into two groups---the 20s/30s group (or A), and the 40s/50s group (or B). You get a number based on the order in which you enter the room. So the 5th person to enter, who's in the 20s/30s age range, is called "5A." Each person sits at a separate table, and Lisa starts timing. You yak with the person opposite for five minutes. For some it may be five minutes TOO LONG. After then you rotate, staying within your age group (A or B).

If you click with anyone, she'll give you both each other's contact info.

Since this is Silicon Valley, we usually have too many men vs. women at most social events. Lisa has a clever strategy to balance the ratio. She asks more single women to volunteer at the event. If there's a male/female imbalance, she asks some of the volunteers to join the dating.

This will be VELLY VELLY interes-tink to see! Hehe...

Posted 10:29 AM by Blah blah

After comparing Sally's, Jennifer's, and Babelfish's translations, I've revised Christina's marriage entry below.

Christina wrote me: "I plan to note you after our wedding which is in Oct. Do you think you can come to China to join our wedding? Yes, I know him for about 6 years, but the story is ordinary, heheheh~~~~ nothing special! Anyway hope you are happy every day, keep in touch...."

Had lunch with Pjammer yesterday at Mayuri, an Indian restaurant in Santa Clara. It's always cool to talk to him, since we both have a strong interest in film. He's writing and planning to shoot his next short film, Ezekiel's Chariot. Stay tuned!
__________________________________________________________________
Lisa Slade, Comedy, and SIDS (Friends, Health)

Last night I spent several hours at Lisa Slade's house. Met her husband Paul and her two sons, who are adorable and budding comedians! I have too much to say about this wonderful lady.

Lisa is SUCH a sweetie---a very caring and compassionate person.

The Toe Report: Her toe (the second toe on her right foot) is back to its normal pink color, but she's still lying on the sofa most of the day, recovering from her injury at the Silent Party, after she stepped on a broken beer bottle. Her tendon was injured but thankfully not severed. She winced in pain sometimes last night and needs to keep her foot elevated. She needs crutches to walk.

Comedy

She and I both have very wacky senses of humor that click well! After attending extension classes at Oxford, she became a lawyer in London. She ALSO became a standup comedian and a TV "presenter" (the British term for "host")! She worked with some of the actors from one of my favorite British TV shows, that incredibly funny cult sci-fi hit, Red Dwarf, speaking out at fan conventions. She's friends with the actor Robbie Llewellyn from the show, who plays the android Kryten.

Lisa is an improvisational comedian, like those folks on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, another of my favorite, dangerously funny shows. She has no idea what she's gonna say when she goes out on stage. In fact, ComedySportz, my favorite comedy group here, asked her to work for them! She asked if I'd be interested in being her guinea pig on stage the next time she does her "hypnosis routine," a sketch in which she pretends to hypnotize you while you pretend you're at her command.

She teaches yoga. Plus she sings, dances, writes, and directs a murder mystery dinner theater. Yes, it's really all one woman!

I just love that we share all these interests! You've gotta go try ComedySportz if you've never seen live improv team comedy. Visit one of their chapters in your area! I like it better than individual standup. (I wrote about my fun time seeing it before.)

From our San Jose branch: "The National Comedy Theatre is proud to be the home of ComedySportz, competitive, team improvisational comedy, played just like a sport. Throughout the show, the two teams play a variety of improvisational games all based on suggestions from the audience. The audience also might have a chance to pick games, call fouls, volunteer for a variety of tasks and ultimately decides which team is the evening's winner. And, best of all, it's clean! The NCT provides one of the few comedy shows that is suitable for the whole family."

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

While she cannot yet work in the U.S. (waiting for a green card), Lisa has spent her spare time organizing events to raise money and awareness to fight Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), a baby killer. It's also known as "crib death."

Please see her site, SIDSevent.org, for more about all her fundraising events! I helped her redo it last night.

In fact, tonight she's running a Speed Dating event in Campbell, which I'm attending (not as a participant). She's also holding a Luau and Bachelorette Auction this Saturday, selling off dates with pretty single women to the highest bidder. PLUS, she writes, directs, sings, and acts in a murder mystery dinner theater. She went into character yesterday before me, playing a "hussy" while lying crippled on the couch.

Go to SIDSevent.org to buy tickets as well as read her story!



Lisa is VERY passionate about and committed to working to prevent SIDS. She writes: "On the morning of February 6th 2002, my best friend tried to wake up her seven-month-old baby. Brynn Marie Davis, a most beautiful, healthy and happy child, had died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, otherwise known as crib death. Her parents, Melanie and Steve, could not have been more loving and doting but, through no fault of their own, they have lost their beloved angel.

The last time I saw the little girl on the day of her funeral I made her a promise. I vowed to her that, whilst there is still breath in my body, I will not rest until we know more about why these perfectly healthy babies are dying. I refuse to walk away from a small, white coffin without a clue as to why a piece of my heart was being buried with a child I loved as my own. I vowed to make a difference and, with your help, I will!

In November last year my team and I held a BACHELOR AUCTION at The Kings Head Pub in Campbell. Yes,­ we sold men for charity! Everyone had a fantastic evening and we raised $3,400. Our ears are still ringing from the screaming and yelling and it was certainly a night anyone there shall never forget. Our professional auctioneer, ­ Mike Vendetti, ­ really got the ball rolling with bids ranging from $35 to $275 for a complimentary meal with one of our lovely young men. Our guys ranged in age from 22 to 62 with all different careers and lifestyles, so we certainly had something for everyone.

Every penny raised at the auction was donated to the national SIDS Alliance to fund its four core services: research, advocacy, risk-reduction education, and bereavement services. Due to the generosity of donors, the SIDS Alliance is able to provide the majority of its services free of charge and to further its mission of helping babies to survive and thrive....

The tragic fact is that, in this country alone, we are still losing over 2,500 a year from crib death. There are many theories as to why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and, with increased awareness and financing, the wonderful work researches are doing today can continue forward until one day, I pray, we will be able to prevent the loss of any of these children."

As you see, Lisa is too complex and passionate about life for a short blog entry to do her justice! The best thing is to get to know her yourself. Feel free to email her. One of these days you'll probably see her speaking on TV about SIDS, rallying politicians to change the health insurance industry, and generally acting like the goofy girl she is at heart.

Posted 1:46 AM by Blah blah

Christina Got Married! (Marriage)

"Christina, oh my God! I just found out about your marriage!!! WOW...I wish you many many years of happiness to David, my dear. You are one of the sweetest and most loving ladies I've met online.

David is a very lucky man. I'm soooo happy for you!!!

I wish you a constant joy in your heart, a wonderful meaningful marriage, and all my very best, Christina."

Christina, my sweet friend in Nanjing, just got married on July 17th. She'd told me, last year, how much she wanted to marry. She definitely has a kind and loving heart as well as an adventurous spirit. Perfect lady for marriage.

She just signed papers, but she will have the wedding this October.

Here's an English translation of what she wrote in her journal. Christina's journal, translated by my friends Sally and Jennifer from Chinese, and edited by me:
____________________
I got married today. This morning David and I ended our six years of dating to become, officially, the other half of each other. When filling out the forms in the court office, I asked him: "Will we regret this?" He said with confidence: "I know I won't, but I'm not sure about you." My tears flowed uncontrollably.

David said, "Actually, marriage is just a set of rules that others made. These forms doesn't mean much. Our life is still the same. We just need to enjoy ourselves. We'll have lots of happy days ahead. We should savor them, not waste them."

This morning, he called me and said he would wear the wine red shirt, and I said I would wear the white shirt. I think our outfits are good for taking the wedding picture for our registration document.

My mom has not been feeling well lately. She said one night, "The thought of your marriage makes my heart uncomfortable." She thinks that I got married too early. Last night she suddenly said, "You should think carefully. This is a lifelong important step!"

This is weird. She won't be happy no matter whom I marry, will she?

Walking out of the door this morning, I no longer feel regret. My whole heart desires him. The special feeling from his eye is for me only. Only now do I realize how little I knew about us, that there is something special inside his eyes that is only for me, that is different from sweet words and honeyed phrases. It can't be faked.

After getting the red book [marriage registration document], he looked at me and smiled. I smiled too. We held hands and walked out of the marriage court. We went to a travel agent to get forms traveling overseas. At the end of August, we plan to travel to ten countries in Europe. I'll be 29 and he'll be 32. Our birthdays are just one day apart.

In October, we plan to have the wedding. We're thinking of renting the entire hall at Jing Ling Restaurant. We hope to try a fresh idea---something like a buffet dancing party. Still need to check with the Jing Ling Hotel. It seems easy to have gotten to this stage. Suddenly I feel busy.

Like David said: "We'll have many happy days ahead, so we must enjoy them slowly."
____________________
Her newer pix. As always, click for full-size:



My favorite of her older pix:

Posted 11:16 AM by Blah blah

Dance Night At Starlite! (includes dance lessons)

I just posted this event on MixerMixer. Please join us!:

Friday, Jul 25, 2003, 7:15 pm
Starlite Dance Club
Map to club
Sunnyvale, CA

This Friday, come do some Cuban hip motion with Mariah and I at MixerMixer's first big BALLROOM DANCE event! This event is both for complete beginners as well as experienced dancers. Feel free to invite anyone you wish.

Starlite is the Bay Area's largest dance club! They have three different rooms where you can dance. Here's their schedule for Friday:

In "Rhythm Street" side room:
8:30-9 pm Beginning Salsa lesson
9-9:30 pm Intermediate Salsa lesson
9:30-midnight Latin Dance Party (Mariah teaches you. Beginning and experienced dancers mix)

We plan to mostly stay in the "Rhythm Street" room from 8:30 pm onwards.

In "Main Street" (the largest, main room):
7:15-9:15 pm Beginning Waltz, Rumba, and Cha cha lesson
********************
HERE'S THE PLAN. We come at 7:15 pm and dance wherever we like. Then from 8:30-9:30 pm, we ALL go to the "Rhythm Street" room to dance the beginning and intermediate salsa, plus we get to know each other. Afterwards, we mainly stay there for the Latin Dance Party. Mariah is willing to teach people who want personal dance help after 9:30!
********************

Mariah and I are hosting this event. She'll be in Rhythm Street from 7:15 pm onwards, where they will teach Lindy Hop from 7:15-8:30 pm. I'll be in the Main Street room from 7:15-8:30 pm.

At the front door, please tell them that RAYMOND REFERRED YOU. Then they will tell you where to find Mariah and me. Mariah will wear a black shirt, black pants, and black shoes. I'll wear a white shirt, white pants, and black shoes.

Mariah was the captain of the Yale Ballroom Dance Team. She taught dance in New Haven, and she's very friendly and willing to teach anyone the basics. I've been dancing on and off for at least two years and, though not a competitive dancer, am about intermediate level. We've also invited several other great dancers: people from both the Stanford and Yale Dance Teams, as well as friends like Patrick, who travelled around Europe dancing with a bunch of excellent swing dancers.

Please invite anyone you wish! Complete beginners are welcome! After 9:15 pm, many experienced dancers will come to the party, and it will be pressure on the beginners. We hope to stick with you beginners and support you then, to make the experience as comfortable as possible!

We ask that all experienced dancers who come try to spend time to help beginners in our group.

Please ask at the front desk for me, Raymond, and let's all have a wonderful Friday night together!

Posted 12:54 PM by Blah blah

Break time. Watch The Daily Show! (Political Comedy)

I'm on blog vacation.

In the meantime, please watch (either on Comedy Central or through streaming video) The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, the funniest show about politics and current events on TV.

My favorite political correspondent on the show: Stephen Colbert, whose Internet videos on the site make me laugh like a choking pig.

For example, watch his report on "stupid people": "This is Jeff. He suffers from...stupidity. This is his story."

Posted 11:23 AM by Blah blah

Howard Dean: Will Our Next U.S. President Blog? (Politics)

As a sign of his Internet savvy, Howard Dean is one of the first and only presidential candidates to write a regular blog: Blogforamerica.com! Check it out. Lots of smart, earnest people are having passionate discussions there and giving their sincere ideas for how to improve this country.

Former Colorado Senator Gary Hart, ex-presidential candidate, also writes a very thoughtful and articulate blog. He decided against running next year.

This week, Dean began guestblogging on the blog of Professor Larry Lessig, a true sign of his Internet street smarts! This is the first time ever that a presidential candidate has blogged on someone else's site! Prof. Lessig is on my reading list. He teaches at Stanford Law School and is a national leader in cyberlaw and intellectual property (IP) law. Before Stanford, Lessig used to teach at Harvard Law School.

Please read the comments on both Dean's and Lessig's blogs! Lots of thoughtful, smart people about IP law and government are making suggestions and debating various national issues. I love the power of the Internet to allow this kind of direct discussion!

Not only that, but Dean just wrote "one of you asked if there would be a White House blog. Why not?"

Imagine the possibilities of a U.S. President writing a blog!

Since I worked for Sen. John Vasconcellos (then Assemblyman) before, my jaw just drops. Most of the time it was WE, the staff, who answered his letters and phone calls. Actually, that summer, only three people worked in his barebones San Jose district office, while he was away in Sacramento fighting to pass the budget. Only three people: his long-time chief of staff, his loyal and motherly secretary, and I. I was only 20 and answered 90% of his phone calls. I answered many of his constituent letters.

I know how difficult it is to really have a direct talk with a politician. I never even met or talked to Vasconcellos. Look at this New York Times article about how difficult it is now to email Bush.

Dean sounds very hip and exciting. I hope he pulls it off. Someone needs to knock that smirk off of Bush's arrogant face.

(About the New York Times article, Bich Ngoc wrote me: "The guy who discovered the email 'problem' is one of Zack's closest friends! He made a PowerPoint presentation showing how many clicks it takes to get to emailing Bush, and he sent it to his friends. Somehow it made its way to the New York Times, and they interviewed him for the story. He called last night when they posted the story and we all laughed.")

Posted 10:47 AM by Blah blah

From Bich Ngoc: Gov. Howard Dean for President! (Politics)

6/25/03
Dear friends,

You probably already know that I'm deeply concerned about the current political leadership and the overall direction of our country, because I realize I rant about it a lot. I'm writing tonight because I hope you're frustrated with what's going on, too -- and more importantly, I hope you want to do something about it.

One thing you can do right now is to get involved in the presidential primary race, by either giving your money or volunteering your time. Yeah, it seems a bit early, but the earlier you get involved, the better chance there is for you to make yourself heard.

Right now I support Gov. Howard Dean [of Vermont] for the Democratic presidential nomination, for various reasons.

[Dean's blog.]

I have to be honest: I don't know if Dean is truly the best leader for our country, and I don't know if he has enough support to win the nomination. But I'm putting my faith in him because right now, he seems to be the only candidate who has the balls to challenge Bush and his own peers, while still garnering enough support to be a viable contender for the nomination. He's also learned to engage voters online, which is something no other candidate has embraced, and I'm geeky enough to love that fact. And of course, he spoke out against the war and the tax cuts, and he's got the best record of any candidate in regard to gay rights.

But most importantly, I think Dean speaks to the people -- and even to younger voters like me, who are often ignored by politicians. I saw Dean speak at the College Democrats of America conference last February, and he electrified the room. He had my support by the end of his speech, and now I've decided to put my money into his campaign.

Today I donated $20.18 to his campaign, because the FEC filing deadline for this quarter is June 30, and I'd like for him to do well. Why $20? Well, I'm flat broke these days, trying to pay rent, eat and whatnot on my meager non-profit earnings, so I thought $20 would do. The 18 cents is to show that I'm a student contributor, since 18 is the voting age. But you can give any amount you want, of course. Please contribute if you want to support Dean. And if you've given already, do so again if it's within your means.

Dean's campaign site.

To donate.

To attend or hold an event in your area.

Of course, if you don't want to support Dean for any reason, look into the eight other candidates and see what they have to offer. There's a wide field for this election cycle, and for God's sake there's gotta be one good candidate to take down Bush. You can go to Project Vote Smart for more info about any candidate:

They list all candidates and even potential ones. (I hope you know the top nine! I heard only 23 percent of Americans polled could name at least one candidate -- for shame.)

Thanks for reading. I'm done rambling for the night.

Love,
Bich Ngoc
____________________
Internet Helps Make Dean a Contender (NY Times):

"Howard Dean's prominence among the nine Democrats running for president is largely attributable to his campaign's early embrace of the Internet for organizing supporters and raising money.

Dr. Dean, a former governor of Vermont, has generated more money and attention online than any other candidate, through direct appeals and a growing base of supporters who are hooking up on a Web site called Meetup.com, which enables people with like interests to connect and meet.

The efforts have vaulted Dr. Dean into the top tier of candidates trying to build momentum for the first primaries, more than six months away....

Raising nearly $3 million in the first quarter, an impressive sum for an outsider, Dr. Dean led all candidates in contributions. He added $7.5 million in the next three months, nearly half from Internet transactions. That put him third in the money race behind Mr. Kerry, at $13 million, and Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, at $12.4 million. "

Posted 9:57 AM by Blah blah

Bich Ngoc Profile (Friends)

Got a letter from the very cool Bich Ngoc ("bick knock") on June 25. Sorry it took so long to post. I'll first write her profile, then I'll post it.

Bich Ngoc Cao is a Vietnamese girl double majoring in journalism and political science at USC. She'd hang out at police stations sniffing for stories. The first half of this year, she interned for her Congresswoman in Washington, DC, plus she took journalism classes from writers like Richard Reeves. She's a liberal activist and told me, the last time we met, that she hopes to run for public office. We definitely need an intelligent, caring, articulate, and blunt talking lady like Bich Ngoc in politics!

Besides politics and activism, she's passionate about the music business. She knows a bunch of singers around the country and travels far to be at their concerts. Bich Ngoc also helps promote singer friends like Fisher and the Filipina girl Maya Marin, who writes an online diary.

Bich Ngoc pix:


Being from LA (i.e. Rosemead), she loves and relates to this serialized story about a rock musician turning 30. Sandy (who's also from Rosemead), check this out! It's called "A Year of Living Stupidly." Bich Ngoc says it was "written by my friend Jim. He's the guitarist for Fisher and a helluva frontman in his own right."

Posted 3:12 PM by Blah blah

Manners and Class

Getting along with people (Please read my old entry first.)

More from Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay, "Manners." Emerson's writing, which I read throughout high school and college, is full of richness that you must chew and digest as slowly as a chunky chocolate bar. His point: regardless of wealth, education, or social class, we naturally befriend or gravitate to each other based on our manners:
________________
[E]very collection of men furnishes some example of the class: and the politics of this country, and the trade of every town, are controlled by these hardy and irresponsible doers, who have invention to take the lead, and a broad sympathy which puts them in fellowship with crowds, and makes their action popular.

[Translation: People with manners and class tend to be the popular leaders of their communities.]

The manners of this class are observed and caught with devotion by men of taste. The association of these masters with each other, and with men intelligent of their merits, is mutually agreeable and stimulating. The good forms, the happiest expressions of each, are repeated and adopted. By swift consent, everything superfluous is dropped, everything graceful is renewed. Fine manners show themselves formidable to the uncultivated man. They are a subtler science of defence to parry and intimidate; but once matched by the skill of the other party, they drop the point of the sword, -- points and fences disappear, and the youth finds himself in a more transparent atmosphere, wherein life is a less troublesome game, and not a misunderstanding rises between the players....

[Translation: Well-mannered people can do business with each other much more smoothly and agreeably.]

Each returns to his degree in the scale of good society, porcelain remains porcelain, and earthen earthen....Each man's rank in that perfect graduation depends on some symmetry in his structure, or some agreement in his structure to the symmetry of society. Its doors unbar instantaneously to a natural claim of their own kind. A natural gentleman finds his way in, and will keep the oldest patrician out, who has lost his intrinsic rank. Fashion understands itself; good-breeding and personal superiority of whatever country readily fraternize with those of every other....

[Translation: Regardless of the official clubs and cliques to which we belong, we are all really bound to natural clubs of humankind, based on our manners and character.]

Once or twice in a lifetime we are permitted to enjoy the charm of noble manners, in the presence of a man or woman who have no bar in their nature, but whose character emanates freely in their word and gesture. A beautiful form is better than a beautiful face; a beautiful behavior is better than a beautiful form: it gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures; it is the finest of the fine arts. A man is but a little thing in the midst of the objects of nature, yet, by the moral quality radiating from his countenance, he may abolish all considerations of magnitude, and in his manners equal the majesty of the world. I have seen an individual, whose manners, though wholly within the conventions of elegant society, were never learned there, but were original and commanding, and held out protection and prosperity; one who did not need the aid of a court-suit, but carried the holiday in his eye; who exhilarated the fancy by flinging wide the doors of new modes of existence; who shook off the captivity of etiquette, with happy, spirited bearing, good-natured and free as Robin Hood; yet with the port of an emperor, -- if need be, calm, serious, and fit to stand the gaze of millions....

[Translation: A well-mannered, charming person is ready to interact with millions worldwide. He's fit to be an actor, CEO, or anyone who must deal with the public and represent his organization.]

Woman, with her instinct of behavior, instantly detects in man a love of trifles, any coldness or imbecility, or, in short, any want of that large, flowing, and magnanimous deportment, which is indispensable as an exterior in the hall.

[Translation: Women can instantly sense when we're a cheapskate or a bastard.]

Posted 1:12 PM by Blah blah

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (Bad Writing)

One reason I'm proud of living in San Jose...

Alabama Woman Wins Worst Writing Award:

SAN JOSE, Calif. - A lizard lover from Alabama won an annual contest celebrating bad writing with a ghastly simile comparing doomed romance to processed cheese.

Mariann Simms of Wetumpka, Ala., won $250 in the 22nd Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a parody honoring the writer of the worst beginning to an imaginary novel.

"They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently," Simms wrote.

The contest, sponsored by San Jose State University, is named after the oft-mocked British novelist Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel Paul Clifford began, "It was a dark and stormy night."...

Albert T. Keyack of Ambler, Penn., described similarities between lips and garnishes of Shirley Temple cocktails.

"Bill shifted uncomfortably on his stool looking at the topless blonde bombshell on the bar, but the first thing that struck him was the pulchritude of the exotic dancer's lips, which glowed like maraschino cherries, that is, pitted cherries macerated in an almond-flavored syrup then heated to boiling in an alum-containing brine full of carcinogenic red dyes," Keyack wrote.

The winner of the "Dark and Stormy Night" category referred to a high-protein snack.

"It was almost a dark and stormy night — not dark or stormy enough to be called that but just the kind of sweaty night that makes your shirt stick to your back and make you wish you were still at home with the air conditioning and eating pig skins and watching the Martha Stewart trial on TV.," wrote Sarah Harris of White Rock, N.M.

Posted 9:38 AM by Blah blah

Emotional Children on SVChinese.org (Rudeness on Message Boards)

If you've read the discussions by mainland Chinese guys on the Love in Silicon Valley forum, you'll see that 30-year-old children are alive and well here too, not just on Rice Bowl Journals. Christine had told me, when we met in Sunnyvale, that every message board eventually went downhill this way, from her experience. The nice people grew disgusted and left, while the rude bullies stayed to lord over their shrinking kingdoms.

This guy SouthBayResident posted info about himself in a sincere desire to find a girlfriend. He seems like a well-educated, thoughtful, and courteous guy. Some women were heartened and wrote back, asking him to email them. Almost immediately most of the other guys began to attack him and try to start a "pissing contest"---typical male macho behavior. All are anonymous. They spent several pages attacking his honesty, his sexual ability, his job---anything. The jealousy, cynicism, and bitterness they show is both shocking and revealing about some mainland Chinese here.

Anyway, I finally introduced myself. Right after I mentioned how immature and low-class this behavior made them look, they began to attack me too. No surprise. It just made me laugh! Here's what I replied. No, I don't plan to continue the discussion:
_________________
Thank you, SouthBayResident and Summersolstice, for your kind comments! Please email me and keep in touch if you wish! It would be nice to have some new, POSITIVE friends. :P

SouthBayResident said:

To Raymond:
I admit I have some nostalgia for the culture and people that existed in China in the first half of the 20th century, especially at the turn of that century. They had more character and the cultural values were richer and far more indigenous. A lot of good traditions and people have been destroyed since, along with some bad. It has not been a rational development, with a lot of unnecessary tragedies and suffering along the way for ordinary Chinese folks. I think the level of social and individual virtues has also fallen badly, especially within the "intelligentsia" and the power "elite." It is little wonder there is today so much graft and corruption, and all at the expense of poor, struggling Chinese masses.

My curiosity about PRC "elite" in the US is to help me ascertain if these are people wise, mature and capable enough to bring prosperity to the Chinese masses, or will they in fact join corrupt officials in short-sighted self-aggrandizement, and selfishly, nonchalantly lead the Chinese society to eventual ruin, yet again.

I thought this was fascinating, SBR. As China undergoes wrenching social transitions while its economy has exploded after Deng Xiaoping, and as peasants become unexpectedly rich and powerful in the Wild West of capitalism, it's fascinating to see how crime, prostitution, and greed have jumped too. My ex-girlfriend from Shanghai complained to me that when she went back to visit, she was shocked at the amount of people she met who seemed willing to do anything for money.

I am also curious like you, SBR, in what new leaders our generation of Chinese (both overseas and in China) will produce to lead China to better social and economic prosperity under Hu Jintao. It's a daunting but exhilarating challenge for you "elite."

Of course, one of the basic things any leader should have is courtesy and consideration for other people. They also need courage. I don't expect cowards like Hypertension to be a leader of anything but his kindergarten class.

You should read Ralph Waldo Emerson's famous essay on Manners. He talks about how to be a gentleman, something most guys on this board seriously must learn if they ever want to have a girlfriend.

You guys make me laugh! If calling me names like "banana boy" and "cow's ass" are the best you can do, you need to go back to ESL class. By the way, I LOVE bananas! Haha. :D

We need to learn to disagree calmly and without name calling. Look at how politicians in the U.S. Congress and British Parliament debate. No matter how much they may hate each other's politics, they do NOT insult each other personally. Some even go out for beers and are the best of friends outside of work.

That way of "debating the issue, but respecting the person" is part of our democratic tradition in America. It's something I've learned and respected since I was a child here. When I see legislators in Taiwan throwing chairs at each other and punching each other on TV, I see how immature they still are, despite all their wealth and education. They have a long way to go to really understanding the meaning of democracy.

One more thing. Many of you guys were complaining at the beginning of this discussion about how Chinese women in Silicon Valley won't date you, how they are selfish, etc.

By the way you've been behaving, it's completely obvious why they won't date you. Who'd want to hang around a bunch of 30-year-old children?

I only joined this discussion because I met Bobby, the creator of SVChinese.org, and thought he was a nice guy. I've been advertising and saying good things about this site to my friends. If you folks continue to act like kids, don't expect me to say good things about SVChinese.org any more.

SouthBayResident, Summersolstice, and other positive, kind people, do keep in touch! Goodbye.

Posted 2:10 AM by Blah blah

Thai Dinner Fundraising and Singles Party (Photos)

Please attend Ladda's event! She's raising money to fight leukemia and lymphoma. It's also a singles event:

Thai Dinner Fundraising Party (MixerMixer version of this event).

Saturday, July 19, 6-9:30pm

Thai Basil
208 Town & Country Village
Sunnyvale, CA 94086



Besides a delicious dinner from Thai Basil, which I feel is one of the best Thai restaurants in Silicon Valley, you get this splendid evening:

6:00 PM – Guests register and seating start
6:15 PM - “Survivor Island Buddy” Game
6:30 PM – “Rate me Spicy or Not”
6:50 PM – “Spiciest Moment story Contest”
7:15 PM – Dinner Start
7:30 PM – Thai Classical Dance
8:00 PM – Tahiti Hawaiian Dance
8:30 PM – Drawing Raffle Tickets
9:00 PM – Spicy Mingle till the end

You may pay online via Paypal.

Ladda, one of Patrick's friends, is from Thailand. I met her several months ago. She's been training for two months with the "Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training to run a 26.2-mile marathon on October 5th in Portland, Oregon. She has committed to raise at least $3,000 to benefit cancer research" through events like this dinner. See Ladda's Team in Training homepage, recording her training schedule to date.

Patrick will be there as the host. (I can't make it.)

See Patrick's photos of the King's Ball, celebrating the birthday of Thailand's king. I wonder if Ladda's dinner will be similar.

I've talked much about my friend Patrick but haven't shown you his photo yet. (Patrick's photo page. Please email him if you'd like to buy some prints.) Here's a nice picture of him at the Benz Concert:



See tons of goofy pictures of Patrick. This is hilarious and cute!

Posted 1:51 AM by Blah blah

Aww, my buddy Ellen in Manila is blogging again! Welcome back, sweetie.

Friendster (Social Trends)

Six Degrees of Procrastination: Why is everyone you know on Friendster? (Slate).

Six Degrees of Lois Weisberg: She's a grandmother, she lives in a big house in Chicago, and you've never heard of her. Does she run the world? (New Yorker).

Haha! I loved these two articles about Friendster and social networks. People like Christine actually first added me as a friend, then removed her account completely, saying that she felt uncomfortable with everyone and his grandma knowing whom were her friends. Some of my best friends have continually refused to join. My testimonials are all by people who either barely know me or have never met me.

Have any long-lost people in my life actually said hi to me? Maybe a couple, if one or two years absence is considered "long-lost." After a "hi" and "will you add me as your friend?" they vanish into thin air again. I don't really expect to see them again.

Some people from Rice Bowl Journals seem to ONLY have friends from Rice Bowl Journals. This basically means they make the best friends with people they've never met---a testament to their social skills. Or it could mean they are surfing the Net from a prison cell in Texas.

To me, the only practical value in Friendster so far is to see how much fun I've seemed to miss and how many parties to which I've never been invited. And to those eager beavers who all seem to have over 100 friends, I say: "Yeah right! You're either a hot chick that guys have only seen in dark clubs, or you're a guy who lives in dark clubs."

Posted 5:34 AM by Blah blah

Phlin: Poetic Blog in Irvine (Blogs)

Here's a new blog for your reading list: Phlin, in Irvine, California. This Russell Wong-lookalike is very poetic. As someone commented, he can "make picking your nose sound profound." He reminds me of All2Swift, that Yale doctor who used to be one of our cowriters here.

It doesn't hurt my male eyes that he's surrounded by all these cuties from LiveJournal, like that witty Hmong actress Sonially, in Los Angeles.

Pix from Phlin's birthday in late May. Feast your eyes. He's the dude in the white shirt. Sonially is the lady in red and white stripes:

Posted 11:44 AM by Blah blah

Lisa: Photos from the Silent Party (Photos)

Since several people from the MixerMixer party are starting to read my blog, please read this.

Kara posted "Silent Party" Photos from Saturday night in San Jose. I'm not in them (*pout*).

If you don't have an ImageStation account, log in as "tigercafe," with the password as "password." Click each pic for full size.



That girl walking around the pool in the red dress is Lisa, the British lady who hosted the party. Poor girl. Just talked to her on the phone the other night. She said the second toe on her right foot (next to her big toe) was almost sliced off after she stepped on a broken beer bottle in the kiddie pool. Her toe was sliced to the bone. She had to rush to the emergency room that night. They stapled her toe back to her foot, twice, and WITHOUT any anesthesia. Although she was slightly drunk, she still screamed like a rooster.

Her toe turned blue, and she's not sure if she can save it or not. She's still doped up on painkillers but is showing incredible cheer, grace, and courage. She says: "I just want to say that the whole glass in the pool thing was TOTALLY my fault! I was a little dizzy (hic) but it really does sound like something I would do. Doh!" Says she feels happy she's getting waited on hand and foot by everyone, including her husband. What an amazing woman. I bow in admiration.

I'm having dinner with Lisa next Monday. She sounds like a very sweet, witty, and entertaining person. She calls everyone "sweetie" and thought the guests Saturday were just "lovely people." She used to be a lawyer (i.e. "solicitor") in London.

She also needs someone to help her take care of her two children while her foot is recovering. If you know anyone (e.g. a student) who needs some extra cash as a babysitter, please contact me.

Posted 7:17 PM by Blah blah

Whew!

Exhausted. My whole body is sore from a week of intense exercise. I just played four hours of rollerhockey today. Herb and Patrick were kind enough to spend extra time teaching me. I also met and played hockey with Bobby, creator of SVChinese.org. He's from Shanghai and has quite a sense of humor!

Last night Patrick and I went to Lisa and Victor's "Silent Party." Lisa is a very cool, game-for-anything British lady who moved here from London three years ago. She was the first to jump into the pool, even in her red dress! Hehe... Victor is another social butterfly, an Indian guy who may be coming to our next rollerblading day, Patrick!

Earlier this week: I played four days of tennis and ran laps.

Tomorrow: swimming, rollerblading (again), and dancing.

Will my body ever quit? Hehe...

Also, congratulations to Pjammer on the premiere of his group's independent film, The Matrix Regurgiated, last night in San Francisco! As he wrote here, he was cast to play the part of Agent Smith in this spoof of The Matrix. He called me last night and was very very happy with the turnout and feedback, especially from the ladies. *Wink*

They will be posting the 30-minute movie soon on iFILM.

Posted 9:39 AM by Blah blah

Creativity. Mate Choice. Personality. (Psychology)

Marriage and children kill creativity in men (ABC):

"Men do their best work in their younger years, but getting married and having children stalls their creativity, according to a New Zealand study of successful scientists....Kanazawa suggests 'a single psychological mechanism' is responsible for this: the competitive edge among young men to fight for glory and gain the attention of women. That craving drives the all-important male hormone, testosterone. After a man settles down, the testosterone level falls, as does his creative output, Kanazawa theorises."

Mate choice: Opposites don't attract (ABC):

"When it comes to finding the right partner in life, the old adage that 'opposites attract' is wrong, according to a new U.S. study. In Western society at least, young adults prefer someone who is most like themselves...

The researchers cite other studies that have found men and women really do tend to choose marriage partners with many attributes similar to themselves, and that people who choose such a partner tend to be happier and enjoy more stable marriages."

Personality - a lifetime's work (ABC):

"Rather than being stuck with the same character we're born with, our personalities change throughout our lives – in some cases more as we get older – a U.S. study has revealed.

A team of psychologists led by Dr Sanjay Srivastava from the University of California, Berkeley, surveyed a huge sample of 132,515 volunteers on the major groupings of personality traits known as the 'Big Five': conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness, and extroversion....

'Average levels of personality traits changed gradually but systematically throughout the lifespan, sometimes even more after age 30 than before,' the researchers wrote.

'We believe adult personality is characterised more by plasticity than by increasing calcification, and the mechanisms of personality change can be understood best by considering the life contexts that accompany change,' they concluded."

Posted 7:56 AM by Blah blah

Unexpected High School Reunion (Ouch)

Saw Mark's horror movie Claustrophobia last night. Didn't find it that scary (sorry, Mark!)

The really scary thing was meeting, besides Mark, three other people I knew in high school! All of them, including Mark, are some years older than I. One guy used to hang out with Mark in junior high and high school. He still seemed to talk the same, counterculture way. He was one of the first computer geeks I ever knew. Another guy, the Jewish competitive lawyer overachiever type who used to do Speech and Debate competitions with me, was there with his black wife. I also knew him at Berkeley my freshman year. A blonde girl, who used to be one of our cheerleaders, was there with her man. Her blonde hair was cropped short and I just did not recognize her until she shouted "Raymond!"

What was amazing was how physically some had changed. Mark and I were the only skinny people in that group. The others had all grown...ehem...they had grown!

I talked to Sandy about this last night. Sandy had gone shopping with me in San Francisco last Sunday, and I had finally visited her cute place she shares with Brent. I do have one Japanese guy friend in Niigata, from Berkeley, who (from a more recent wedding photo) has grown...fat. But for the most part, the Asians I knew from high school don't look SO much different physically now. People still tell me I look like an undergrad.

It must be my Asian genes and all those years of broccoli and bok choy. In fact, recently, I've actually LOST weight without really trying. I'm about 10 pounds lighter than a few months ago, due to me eating less, playing tennis thrice a week, and rollerblading. Next week I'll start swimming a few times a week again. God, do I miss swimming. Last summer I swam thrice a week, 30-50 laps each day. I get in a trance when I swim long distances. I feel so relaxed.

Can someone please make a graph of how the white people you knew from high school change physically vs. the Asians? Gulp.

Posted 3:00 PM by Blah blah

Internet Ads (Advertising)

Why online ads do not work (BBC).

Shh...I'm actually getting paid a monthly fee for those text links I have at the top of this page. How can we deliver online ads more effectively so that they reach people who are actually looking for the product in the ad at the time and place they wish it?

Posted 9:52 AM by Blah blah

MixerMixer: The Next Three Days (Events)

Sign up for MixerMixer, a new site for making friends. It lets anyone easily create and post activities. Started by two new UC Berkeley grads a few months ago (Annie and Kavin), this site has grown quickly. What I like is that many of the people here are from my city, San Jose.

Mariah said hi to me through this site a few weeks ago. She just graduated from Yale University in history and political science and was the captain of their ballroom dance team. She wanted to find people who liked salsa and swing and plans to arrange a dance event when she comes back to the Bay Area. She found several people on MixerMixer on the Stanford Ballroom Dance Team, who are also interested. She's incredibly accomplished (we talked for a few hours by phone) and is now in Taiwan teaching English. She's studying SIX languages now and wants to go to law school.

She and a friend were so psyched about MixerMixer that they made posters about it and splashed them over the Yale campus, drawing in a bunch of Yale students.

Here's my life for the next three days, all on MixerMixer. If you live in the Bay Area, please feel free to come! Email me if you want to meet up.

Tonight:
- Santa Clara, 8 pm. Free showing of my director friend's thriller movie, Claustrophobia. I'll meet a bunch of filmmakers.

Saturday:
- San Jose, 7 pm. "Silent Party," the weirdest party I'll have ever attended. "The SILENT PARTY is a totally unique experience. There would be absolutely NO TALKING or conversation(s) of ANY nature! All cellular phones and pagers need to be turned off. Cocktails would be provided and there would be light music in the room to help people kick in the euphoria! We shall provide paper & pencils to all. And the ONLY method of communication would be to pass notes around!"

Sunday:
- Mountain View, 10 am. Weekly rollerblading lessons taught my friend Patrick. I am focusing on developing hockey skills and improving my backwards skating now.
- Afternoon: spending time with Patrick's friend Adrian, whom I visited in Berkeley last Sunday. Adrian is a psychiatrist. Also meeting Bobby of SVChinese.org and perhaps my friend Sally. Later Patrick will teach me some hard-core hockey.

Posted 11:45 PM by Blah blah

Dr. Phil Test (Psychology)

Huang just sent me this psychology test that Dr. Phil supposely gave on Oprah. He scored 55 and she scored 38.

Ha! I also scored 55! I guess it doesn't say "amateur Dr. Phil" on my Friendster profile for nothing. Take it with a grain of salt, kids.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who’s quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and venturesome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

Some of the questions could have gone any direction, like "What's your sleeping position?" Here are my answers:

1. c = 6 points. I'm definitely more of a night person. But I can wake early if needed.
2. c = 7. It's either a or c. I generally walk fast. Even faster than some New Yorkers when I was in Manhattan.
3. c = 5. Between a, c, or d. If I really feel a vibe with someone, I touch him or her.
4. b = 6. Either b, c, or d. This seems like a dumb question. I'm not Sharon Stone here!
5. b = 4. Between a, b, or c. I enjoy laughing, but I'm not a braying horse.
6. b = 4. I'm not shy at parties, but I think people who feel they must make a "loud entrance" can be a bit showy.
7. c = 4.
8. a = 6. I like the color of fire and sunset the most. :p Note this blog's color?
9. a = 7. Dumb question. Entirely depends on how much Chardonnay I drank.
10. e = 6. Between e and f. I rarely remember my dreams and try to sleep deeply enough to drool.

Posted 7:10 PM by Blah blah

Great American Speeches (Rhetoric)

For all who love great public speaking, both in public life and in the movies, check out this wonderful site:

American Rhetoric.

Includes their online speech bank of 5000+ speeches, famous movie speeches, and more. Read transcripts as well as listen to their MP3 and RealPlayer recordings.

Posted 6:25 AM by Blah blah

Silicon Valley Chinese Blog List (Blogs)

I'm the first and only blog Bobby has listed on his new Silicon Valley Chinese blog page. His SVChinese.org is, as I said before, a Craigslist in Chinese for the Bay Area. Add your Bay Area blog. You don't need to be Chinese, and you can reach Chinese speakers this way.

It cracks me up to read the posts by mainland Chinese guys on the Love in Silicon Valley message board. They are so blunt and crude!

Mr high blood pressure says:
"I agree with an earlier post: good men tend to be snatched fast by quality girls even in this lope sided market of SV.

So, if Mr SouthBay is still single, since he has Citizenship, he should have been here easily around 10 years or more, then he probably will be single for a while ... he is either still dreaming, or he is just too in love with himself. Either way, he need a reality check.

From his post, it seems he have not dated much. Sound like he is still a virgin, still keeping himself pure for the true love. Are there any great female teacher want to teach him the basics?

Be honest, even if you are such a politically correct, well behaved fellow in public, you got to be dirty in bed. Any objections? That's the key. Can Mr Southbay change 180 degree in bed? If he can. Girls! go for it, he got both world covered."

Posted 4:59 AM by Blah blah

Lack of Privacy for You on Your Company Computer (Privacy)

Ouch! Beware how you use your corporate computer, guys. Dear Abby Column:

"DEAR ABBY: Allow me to give your readers a heads-up regarding a potentially embarrassing -- and possibly illegal -- situation they may encounter at their places of employment. I am talking about employees using their work computers and networks to conduct personal and private business.

As an information technology ('IT') security specialist, I can attest to the fact that almost everything an employee does on his or her work computer is monitored very closely, due to heightened security.

One of my responsibilities is to monitor e-mail that crosses the networks and investigate Web sites employees visit during the day. Believe me, I've seen it all! A few examples:

(1) Details between couples going through nasty divorces, as well as torrid love affairs. (The dialogue from even one of those messages could fuel a soap opera storyline for years!)

(2) The personal 'measurements' and private 'requirements' of individuals seeking a potential mate while checking out dating Web sites. (I will never look at certain employees the same way again.)

(3) The ridiculously overpriced items that people 'had to have' on auction Web sites. (I could outbid individuals by a dollar each time they made a bid online and they'd never know.)

(4) How much money employees have in their checking and savings accounts, while conducting their online banking. (On more than one occasion, I knew that someone had bounced a check before he did.)

(5) Employees exploring pornographic Web sites. (You'd be amazed how many times I've had to begin an investigation into an employee because of something like this.)

Abby, IT security specialists are not nosy people. We are employed by the corporate and government worlds to ensure that highly valuable information and equipment is kept safe and secrets are not leaked.

-- IT SECURITY SPECIALIST ON THE EAST COAST

Posted 6:10 PM by Blah blah

New Science About Women (Pregnancy)

Whoa!! Women May Ovulate More Than Once a Month, Study Says (Reuters):
_____________
No wonder the rhythm method does not work so well for birth control -- scientists in Canada said on Tuesday they had found women sometimes ovulate several times in a single month.

Their finding, if verified, would overturn the traditional wisdom that women produce an egg cell once a month. It would also help explain why "natural" methods of birth control, based on the idea that ovulation can be predicted, often fail.

"We are literally going to have to re-write medical textbooks," said Dr. Roger Pierson...

Standard medical science says a woman has a cycle running roughly 28 days in which an egg ripens, is released by the follicle, drops into the fallopian tube, and then is either fertilized or shed during menstruation.

Writing in the journal Fertility and Sterility, Pierson and colleagues found this did not always happen.

"We weren't expecting this. We really weren't," Pierson said in a telephone interview.

In the study, Pierson, veterinarian Gregg Adams and graduate student Angela Baerwald did daily, high-resolution ultrasound scans on 63 women for a month, which allowed them to see the follicles very clearly.

"We had 63 women with normal menstrual cycles. Of those 63, only 50 had normal ovarian cycles," Pierson said.

Thirteen of the women ovulated multiple times, in various different ways. And of the other 50, 40 percent had up to three waves of activity by the follicles, any one of which could result in the production of an egg.

The women's hormone levels did not match this activity, Pierson said. "Hopefully this will help women explain how they got pregnant when they really didn't want to be pregnant, and it certainly will help us design better fertility therapies."

Apparently, measuring hormones in the blood is not enough to predict what a woman's reproductive system is up to.

"The hormones do what they are going to do and the ovaries just follow their merry path," Pierson said.

"We always thought that menstrual cycles and ovarian cycles were one and the same. It turns out they are just like two political parties -- sometimes they go along hand in hand for the good of the country and sometimes they go along their separate ways."

Posted 11:59 AM by Blah blah

See Mark Kines' New Movie, Claustrophobia: July 11, 8 pm! (Entertainment)

From my writer/director friend Mark Kines (read his online journal about his filmmaking). I know Mark from junior high and high school, and I wrote about him here in detail. The first movie he wrote, directed, and produced was Foreign Correspondents.

Now he's finished and just begun to show friends his latest film, Claustrophobia. Come Friday to the screening and meet Mark, me, and some of his filmmaking friends! He's here from Los Angeles.
_______________
I'm in San Jose this week, happy to show you my new thriller "Claustrophobia." A friend of mine is generously allowing me the use of his college to show the film, so here's the scoop:

CLAUSTROPHOBIA

Friday, July 11, 2003 - 8pm
International Technology University Auditorium
1650 Warburton Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95050

It's near Scott Blvd. and El Camino Real in Santa Clara.

This is a HUGE auditorium (300 seats) so feel free to invite all your friends - this screening is free.

If you cannot make it on Friday, please let me know if you'll be available to watch it on Thursday, Saturday or Sunday nights. If there's enough of a response I might arrange a small TV party at somebody's house on one of those dates. Otherwise, see you there on Friday at 8pm!

-Mark

Posted 7:11 AM by Blah blah

More on Emotional Maturity (Psychology)

Esther really enjoyed that list I mentioned about what is emotionally immature vs. mature behavior. Click her pic for full-size.

I'm so glad you found that page valuable, Esther! As someone who has had to live and deal with emotionally immature, older people throughout my whole life, I'm very familiar with that internal conflict you go through about that person. You care about him/her, but all your efforts to change or improve his/her maturity seem to fail. How long do you keep gnashing your teeth trying to change that person?

It took me a long time to learn to let go and move on to new positive relationships, to not get too personally involved in someone's immaturity. Like you felt with your ex, I found that the longer I was stuck there trying to "fix" that person, the worse I began to behave myself.

Nowadays I can be very unemotional about cutting off relationships with emotionally draining people, precisely because I used to be the opposite way. I used to care and invest my heart in it and come away feeling exhausted and foolish. Now I think of the good I'd rather be doing with people who are worth it. My life became much smoother and happier once I made that decision.

With immature coworkers, family, and relatives, of course it's hard to "cut it off" with them. But I've learned to accept them as they are much more, for my own sanity. I just hold back somewhat and keep relations at a more superficial level. And I keep our lives separate.

Posted 4:03 PM by Blah blah

Yeti Dating Blog. How Long Do Women Wait to Call? (Relationships)

For my link list, here's another excellent dating blog, by James (aka Yeti) in St. Louis. Incredible writing: Tales from a Yeti Suit. His old blog (also excellent, and full of flirtatious dialogue).

James is a smooth talker, though he pleads innocent:

CuteBrunette: You’re so fun to talk to. Do you come up here a lot?
Yeti: Not as often as I’d like. I didn’t realize you were here.
CB: Oh stop it.
Y: Stop it, or is that an invitation for me to keep going?
CB: You’re quite the smoothie. Why aren’t you married?
Y: Women are intimidated by the skill with which I cook and clean.
CB: You are a man, aren’t you?
Y: I’m a football fanatic. And I like to punch a punching bag. Whether or not I’m a real man, well you get to make that decision.
CB: I’ll reserve judgement.
Y: I can flex if you like.
CB: Maybe later. I’m kinda trapped in your eyes.
Y: What do you think of them?
CB: They’re so mysterious. You look like you hide a lot.
Y: Do you want to know a secret?
CB: I love secrets.
Y: I’m a coward.
CB: You’re a coward.
Y: It’s true – I’m afraid to talk to women. Afraid they’ll laugh at me, afraid they’ll emasculate me.
CB: I find that hard to believe.
Y: It’s true. I get nervous talking to women.
CB: You don’t seem to be.
Y: You make me brave. I think of you and every word that pours off my lips is romantic gold. You inspire me. The thought of not sitting here, listening to your voice, not holding your hand, that makes me bold. It makes me brave.
CB: You’re dangerous.
Y: You have nothing to fear. While I stand here, I’ll protect you.
CB: Do you think I’m in danger?
Y: Not the physical kind.
CB: Now I’m a little afraid.
Y: The French believe there is one solution to every woman’s problem.
CB: And that is?
Y: This.

Yeti leans over and kisses her.
ed. Due to the graphic nature of the rest of the story, this post has been edited to promote ethical values.

I found him from Edie, the Manhattan girl who writes like Bridget Jones on steroids. Edie just moved her site here.

Something that happened to Edie in May:

Calling all men (and boys): Let me give you a hypothetical situation: You meet a girl at a party. You hit it off. You suggest to her that she comes with you when you leave to go somewhere else. You hang chat and have fun with her over drinks. After you two close down a bar, you suggest you move on somewhere else rather than end the night there. You continue your great conversation. You walk her home. You kiss passionately before saying goodbye. You ask for her number, even though she gave you the perfect opportunity to not ask for it by saying simply, "I'll see you at the party next Saturday." She did not ever utter the words, "So, when can I see you again?" In fact, she has exhibited at every turn that she is easy going and will not apply pressure on you. I ask you: Why do you not call? And also: Under what conditions do you actually call. You must sometimes or you would never go on a date. Lastly: Why ask for a number at all if you have no intention of calling? Especially in a scenario as outlined above, when she gives you a great out from asking it?

I would turn that around and ask, under what conditions after a great date would a girl call a guy? Ladies?

Yes, I know most women prefer to wait for the call. But how long would the average woman wait? What would make her call the guy? Kiki tells me that since the average man waits FOUR DAYS to call, the average woman will wait FIVE DAYS to call the man.

But then, I feel rules like this are arbitrary and people like Edie overanalyze them. I don't follow them.

Posted 1:05 PM by Blah blah

Love in Silicon Valley (Relationships)

From the forums of Silicon Valley Chinese (SVChinese.org), a "Craigslist" in Chinese for the Bay Area, see what various Chinese guys think about the male/female imbalance here in Silicon Valley, gold digging mainland Chinese women here, and more.

I introduced Bobby, the creator of SVChinese.org, to Christine's Oriented.com company and said maybe they could do a cross-promotion. Christine loves his site. I think Bobby reads my blog now.

I just talked to Bobby! He plans to meet Christine this week. He wants to meet me, her, and my friend Sally (who introduced me to this site). Yay for the Internet. He also plays rollerhockey, Patrick. Yeah, I invited him already. I'm turning into Patrick's main salesman.

Read the Love in Silicon Valley forum. Bobby says I have a "party face."

Very useful: How to set up Microsoft Windows to accept Chinese character input.

Posted 12:06 AM by Blah blah

Emotional Maturity (Psychology)

Here's a good list of what makes someone emotionally immature vs. emotionally mature. The large amount of emotional children on Rice Bowl Journals helped cause me and others to leave. It's just not worth wasting time on them. If I want to deal with children, I'll go help out at a nursery. But adult children? No thanks.

Posted 7:35 PM by Blah blah

Bad News for Business Schools (Economy)

Thinking of getting an MBA?

A bear market for business schools (MSNBC): "As the likelihood of a hot job fades, so does the MBA’s allure....But the big reason many twentysomethings may be hanging on to their jobs, however unrewarding, is that the once-coveted MBA no longer comes with the implicit guarantee of a big-bucks job offer on graduation....It’s easy to see why America’s fledgling manager class is balking these days. Over the past two years, potential MBA candidates have watched many B-school grads flail upon re-entering the real world. Consider that some 30 percent of grads at BusinessWeek’s Top 30 MBA programs had no solid job offer at graduation in 2002."

Posted 1:07 PM by Blah blah

Bad Listener (Relationships)

By Edie, who writes a fantastic blog about her dating efforts in New York City:

"[H]e proceeded to send me a six-page email message, in which he detailed an excruciatingly funny episode in his life as an orchestra player. Every word of the six-page email message seemed painstakingly chosen in order to deliver the maximum comic impact. His language, indeed, was funnier than was the actual incident itself. On one hand, I certainly appreciated the sense of humor he obviously possessed, but on the other hand, the length and the machine-gun like onslaught of high-larity made the message seem somehow stilted and forced. But I could hardly hold that against him. He was sweetly trying hard. But the note also ignored the fact that the audience was only one person. It might as well have been for a stadium’s worth of people because it overlooked the small reality of my existence. In my response to him, I of course gave information about myself, but it would have been nice had he exhibited a little more interest in me, by say, proposing a few queries. He never did find out that this musical instrument was something I also had played."

What you wrote, Edie, really struck me and reminded me of some people. Some who seem witty and fascinating seem to do it as a rehearsed speech for the crowd instead of a spontaneous reaction to you and what you have just said.

Hear hear. I think the best listeners are those who can tell what you MEANT, more eloquently than you could express it, and not judge you by the literal (incoherent) words you SAID.

I used to date someone like this in college. Talking to her was sheer heaven. I come from a family where people don't listen well, where they talk AT each other instead of TO each other, and where people must shout to be noticed. When I first visited this girl, she actually shut off her TV when I started talking, and she really listened.

I was in deep shock and fell for her like that.

Posted 10:40 AM by Blah blah

Happy. Yahoo! Calendar.

I'm very happy today. Life is good.

For all absent-minded people, here's how you can remember appointments. Put them all in Yahoo! Calendar. Through it, I note down every little phone call, errand, bill payment, library book due date, etc. I have promised to make. It emails me reminders and pops up a Yahoo! Messenger window on my screen.

It lets you set recurring appointments (like paying your monthly bills) and appointments even a year in advance. It's free. It also integrates with your Yahoo! Address Book and Mail. If you put your friend's birthday into your Yahoo! Address Book, it lets you merge that into your Yahoo! Calendar.

I never have any excuse to forget things now. I don't live without it! Yahoo! Calendar has really helped organize my life.

Posted 9:55 AM by Blah blah

"Craigslist" in Chinese, for San Francisco Bay Area

Sally visited me at my place last night. She told me about this site that just started in mid-June:

Silicon Valley Chinese, a "Craigslist" in Chinese for the Bay Area.

Fantastic. It's simple, fast-loading, and convenient. Not many users yet. Tell all your Chinese-speaking friends (and their parents) about it!

Posted 2:44 AM by Blah blah

Fighting Telemarketers: National Do-Not-Call List (Telemarketing)

Stop telemarketers! The federal government just started its national Do-Not-Call List. Sign up! I've signed up my home and cell phone numbers. You will block most telemarketers in the U.S. from legally calling you for FIVE YEARS.

Here's more information on the "National Do Not Call Registry":

"On October 1, 2003, when the National Do Not Call Registry will be enforced, most telemarketers will be required to remove the numbers on the registry from their call lists.

If you make a request to a specific organization that they not call you, they are required to honor your request. If they subsequently call you again, they may be subject to a fine of up to $11,000.

Even if you do not register with the National Do Not Call Registry, you can still prohibit individual telemarketers, one by one, from calling, by asking them to put you on their company's do not call list."

From Jacqueline:

"If you can't get the do-not-call site by name, try the IP address: 206.16.196.198. You may also call 1-888-382-1222."

Some individual states (including California) have their own do-not-call lists. However, they will be transferred to the national list.

Posted 2:16 AM by Blah blah

Preventing Spam: Never Put Your Correct Email Address on Any Website (Spam)

By Sean:

"Foreign Policy magazine did a simple test of the main sources of spam. They set up 250 test email addresses and divided the addresses into six groups. Each group represented a potential source of spam. The study was conducted over six months. The result: 8,842 spam messages.

- Email was used to register a domain name: 1 message

- Email was used on a Web-based discussion board: 15 messages

- Email was sold commercially without owner's permission: 25 messages

- Email was sold or shared commercially without owner's permission: 85 messages

- Email was posted on a USENET discussion group: 110 messages

- Email was posted on a public website: 8,609 messages

Perhaps the most interesting result is that giving out an email address to a company or person results in relatively little spam. You get into real trouble as soon as your email address makes it to a public website, like this blog!"

This is why you should NEVER put your correct email address on ANY website. For example, I left some comments on Christina's blog, which is in Nanjing, China. Email addresses in her comment forms get posted onto that comment page. Soon after, my email address was indexed in all these Chinese search engines. I began to receive tons of goddamned spam from China and Taiwan.

The best way to prevent spam is to simply not post or give out your email address in the first place. You have four choices:

1. Don't give out an address, period.
2. Give out a phony address: I like "a@b.com"
3. Create an account mainly for junk mail. Enter that in all comment and standard web forms.
4. Modify your address so it doesn't go anywhere but people can read and change it. For example, "johnATyahooDOTcom" or "john_at_yahoo_dot_com" or "johnDELETETHIS@yahoo.com."

Posted 8:21 PM by Blah blah

Sonially: Actress in Los Angeles (Blog)

A new blog for your reading list. Kiki, who's Thai, used to compete in figure skating, and told me she took two years off of school to audition for parts in LA, will love this:

Sonially, a Hmong actress in Los Angeles. She's very sharp, sassy, and witty. Plus she's got that Audrey Hepburn look.



Some of her entries I liked:

- The Other Girl, in which she acts like a drama queen. Don't we expect actresses to have these types of lives? *Wink*
- Let's do the numbers: "In the process of finding her true love every single and dating woman has at least three men in her life: the one 1) she loves 2) that has money 3) she has great sex with (the booty call) and 4) the friend. Some have more depending on the complexity of her personality but for most the general rule is no more than 4 and no less than 3. From experience, 3.5 is always good."
- Interviewing for jobs: "Here are some things I've learned :

1. Male employers will always be more lenient with good looking women.
2. Women employers will always be harder on good looking women."
- Just for Men: How to handle rejection:

If you know someone who knows her ask them to introduce you. If not, I suppose the best route to meet any girl.. is to simply introduce yourself and let it be known you're interested. Don't go the friends route because YOU will be categorized as a friend. It will never change! Not for me anyway. There's nothing worse than a fucken infiltrator in a girl's gossip/secret/friendship circle. Be up front and if she's interested she'll think it's flattering. If she kicks you in the stomach, well think of it this way...at least you know she's not stringing you along. But there is nothing more devastating than a guy friend turned suitor.

However, let me bring up something that's more important than everything I just blabbered about. The most important thing that a guy must never forget is... IF SHE TURNS YOU DOWN TAKE IT LIKE A HONORABLE MAN AND LET it go.... !! I've had to deal with some very strange and scary men, men who live in this fantasy world...of, "if I like you, it means you have to like me back."

Posted 11:46 AM by Blah blah

July 2003 Issue, SAM Magazine (Media)

The latest issue of SAM magazine is up. Please let me know if you find any major mistakes. I've not written anything for the magazine yet.

I plan to ask YOU and others to help me write more intelligent, sexy, funny, and personal stories for SAM magazine. Stay tuned!