Posted 4:02 PM by Blah blah

Au Revoir, Rice Bowl Journals (Sad)

Certain stuff happened the last couple of days that disgusted me and caused me to lose what remaining respect I ever had for certain RBJ members. As one of the oldest members, who has supported and promoted RBJ here from the beginning, I am saddened and disappointed by the maliciousness and immaturity I witnessed and experienced the last two days. It's been a big pain in the butt.

I happily quit Rice Bowl Journals and will never come back.

Some of those on RBJ who dislike me will probably try to trash talk and spread gossip about me. Well wait till you hear my side before jumping to conclusions.

One thing you should know about me: I have not shied away from controversy when I thought an issue was very important. I do not get intimidated easily, and I don't care if I'm unpopular. I care about fairness and what I believe to be the truth.

Next!

Posted 1:53 PM by Blah blah

Typical Libra (Astrology)

Please read my old post about my astrological profile and what's true and not true about it. You'll learn much about me. Start reading at "Sun in Libra." :D

In so many ways I am a typical Libra. I think most, but not all, of this description below is true about me:

Libra: the Scales (September 23 - October 22)

The seventh sign of the zodiac is concerned with

partnership, relationships
ideas, opinions, politics, diplomacy (Librans are the main diplomats of the Zodiac)
music, harmony, balance, romance
tact, argument, self-control
good manners, personal appearance
refinement, sophistication, good taste
rational thought, ideas for social well-being

Elemental quality:

Libra is the cardinal air sign of the zodiac. It can be likened to a finely tuned wind instrument, producing powerful, moving music in perfect harmony. Air is the breath of life, and cardinal air is a metaphor for ideas put into action. Libras are doers rather than thinkers, although they may spend a long period thinking about a situation before making a decision and acting upon it.

Spiritual goal: To learn the meaning of selfless love.

The Libran personality:

Positive characteristics

cooperative
good companion
artistic
refined
has clear opinions
good negotiator
very strong beliefs
loving and romantic
sense of fair play
able to lead on behalf of good causes
uses intellect when going into action
sincere
charming
communicative
an excellent mediator

Negative characteristics

narcissistic
indolent or sulky
fearful
indecisive
manipulative
overbearing
flirtatious

Secret Libra

Inside anyone who has strong Libran influences is a person who is terrified of being alone. The fear is usually well controlled so the typical Libra always looks calm, collected, and in charge of the situation. Good natured and loving, Libras can also be petulant, and even objectionable, when asked to take orders. Similarly, they are extremely intelligent, yet sometime gullible; they enjoy talking to people, yet can also be very attentive listeners. The Libra symbol (the scales) is a clue to understanding thus apparent inconsistency in behavior. In attempting to gain an even balance, the scales first tip one way and then the other. this is how the typical Libra behaves---constantly trying to attain that perfect balance.

Ruling planet and its effect

Venus rules the zodiac sign of Libra, so anyone whose birth chart has a strong Libran influence will tend to be a gentle, loving peacemaker---until the scales tip too far and need to be adjusted. In astrology, Venus is the planet of values, self possessions, beauty, and love. Librans tend to express these attributes in words and actions.

Posted 9:13 AM by Blah blah

Suicide (Morbid)

Yeah! I'm finally meeting Sandy and her boyfriend Brent tomorrow! We're having dim sum with Bich Ngoc, who's visiting this week.

Talked to Sandy about suicide last night. I've luckily never ever felt suicidal, but I've had to deal with others who wanted to do it.

Everyone who has thought about suicide MUST read this nine-page article. "Written in 1983, this CoEvolution Quarterly article has helped people decide not to attempt suicide, by showing them what might, realistically, happen to them if they take the leap. 90% of the people who try don't actually pass away; instead, they lose control of their bodies, their health, their time, their rights, and even their depression."

How Not to Commit Suicide: "The information that people need to know is how not to commit suicide. They think if they take an overdose of sleeping pills they'll just go to sleep and never wake up. Instead they wake up choking on their own vomit, and there's the emergency room and stomach pumping and brain damage, and it's the opposite of relief for their suffering. People try all sorts of things that don't work, all horrible." The article is full of stupid things people do that don't work. Please send this article to all of your suicidal and depressed friends!

"Need a guide to suicide?

Don't overdose on aspirin, Tylenol, caustics such as lye or oven cleaner, psychiatric drugs such as Thorazine or Elavil, tranquilizers, or sleeping pills.
Don't slash your wrists.
Don't shoot yourself.
Don't jump from a not-very-high place or try to hang yourself.
(All these common techniques are unreliable and have often terrible effects on the survivor.)"

As a bonus, read ACTUAL suicide notes, taken from coroners' offices. Fascinating.
_______________________
The first time I had to deal with suicide online was when a pretty girl in Taiwan I had corresponded with killed herself two years ago. I told the story in more detail here. Theta (aka YunJu Tai) was a sophomore at National Taiwan University in Taipei, a brilliant physics student. To this day I'm still not sure why she did it.

The second time was when someone I know wrote on his website about how he would like to die, how people wouldn't notice him if he left the planet. I freaked out, completely stunned, when I stumbled upon those words on his site. I immediately took action, dealt with a super arrogant psychiatrist, and helped prevent him from taking the next step. I made sure people NOTICED him.

The third time was when a member of Rice Bowl Journals (a girl) wrote a blog entry about wanting to do it. I immediately sent Carlos a message. The two of us worked to convince her to cheer up. She removed her post and cheered up.

The fourth time was last October, when "Mr. Sparkle" threatened on Rice Bowl Journals to kill himself. He started a discussion thread about finding one reason not to commit suicide. A bunch of bloggers mainly in Malaysia, Corine, Frostee, Brandon, Ami, and Eugene, as well as Arnold, Carlos, and I, worked on getting Mr. Sparkle to back down. Corine had the most effect on him. She spent most of the day chatting with him, listening to his problems. She'd asked me for help as soon as I logged in that morning, and I exchanged messages with him too. I even filed a police report. (Yup, I take all suicide threats very seriously.) We happily succeeded, and now Mr. Sparkle is still cynical and sarcastic, but alive. The debate on RBJ turned nasty and pissed me off about some of the people who cynically told him to go ahead with it. That whole experience, as well as the nasty messages some people wrote about me and Corine, soured me on RBJ and made me leave the message board completely.

Other online-related suicides:

- Nicolai Rosen and Kevin Hogue both killed themselves within a month, in the same building at UC Berkeley, Evans Hall. Both had been Berkeley students. Both wrote blogs (which I link in my post). In Kevin Hogue's LiveJournal, some guy even told him to stop whining and go do it, never taking him seriously. Well he did.

- Brandon Vedas, a guy in Arizona, killed himself accidentally with an overdose of prescription drugs this January as "friends" watched live on his webcam. He was chatting with them on IRC and some even egged him on to take more drugs! Read the horrifying chat log. See what the world press said about this story. Watch the Internet video of his family and the guy "Smoke2k," who kept saying "Take more!" Click on the RealPlayer video of the "John Walsh Show."

I end with Archy's poem the lesson of the moth (1927):

i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity

but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

archy

Posted 8:15 AM by Blah blah

Don Marquis: Archy and Mehitabel (Poetic)

Dave of dratfink was explaining why his blog is all in lowercase. I said it reminded me of that newspaper poet from the 1930s, Don Marquis, who is famous for writing 10 years of poetry in the New York Sun and New York Tribune.

Marquis created the very human and lovable characters Archy and Mehitabel. "Archy is a cockroach with the soul of a poet, and Mehitabel is an alley cat who traces her lineage back to Cleopatra....'expression is the need of my soul,' declares Archy, who labored as a free-verse poet in a previous life. At night, alone, he dives furiously on the keys of Don Marquis' typewriter to describe a cockroach's view of the world, rich with cynicism and humor. It's difficult enough to operate the typewriter's return bar to get a fresh line of paper; all of Archy's dispatches are written lowercase, and without punctuation, because he is unable to hit both shift and letter keys to produce a capital letter."

With simple animals and simple language, Marquis expressed charming and wise views on society that hit home with the general public. Don Marquis and Ogden Nash are my favorite poets from that part of the 20th Century.

Here's life from the view of Archy the soulful cockroach:

warty bliggens, the toad (1927)

i met a toad
the other day by the name
of warty bliggens
he was sitting under
a toadstool
feeling contented
he explained that when the cosmos
was created
that toadstool was especially
planned for his personal
shelter from sun and rain
thought out and prepared
for him

do not tell me
said warty bliggens
that there is not a purpose
in the universe
the thought is blasphemy
a little more
conversation revealed
that warty bliggens
considers himself to be
the center of the same
universe
the earth exists
to grow toadstools for him
to sit under
the sun to give him light
by day and the moon
and wheeling constellations
to make beautiful
the night for the sake of
warty bliggens

to what act of yours
do you impute
this interest on the part
of the creator
of the universe
i asked him
why is it that you
are so greatly favored

ask rather
said warty bliggens
what the universe
has done to deserve me
if i were a
human being i would
not laugh
too complacently
at poor warty bliggens
for similar
absurdities
have only too often
lodged in the crinkles
of the human cerebrum

archy

the flattered lightning bug (1927)

a lightning bug got
in here the other night a
regular hick from
the real country he was
awful proud of himself you
city insects may think
you are some punkins
but i don t see any
of you flashing in the dark
like we do in
the country all right go
to it says i mehitabel the
cat and that green
spider who lives in your locker
and two or three cockroach
friends of mine and a
friendly rat all gathered
around him and urged him on
and he lightened and
lightened and lightened you
don t see anything like this
in town often he says go to it
we told him it s a
real treat to us and
we nicknamed him broadway
which pleased him
this is the life
he said all i
need is a harbor
under me to be a
statue of liberty and
he got so vain of
himself i had to take
him down a peg you ve
made lightning for two hours
little bug i told him
but i don t hear
any claps of thunder
yet there are some men
like that when he wore
himself out mehitabel
the cat ate him

archy

mehitabel and her kittens (1927)

well boss
mehitabel the cat
has reappeared in her old
haunts with a
flock of kittens
three of them this time

archy she says to me
yesterday
the life of a female
artist is continually
hampered what in hell
have i done to deserve
all these kittens
i look back on my life
and it seems to me to be
just one damned kitten
after another
i am a dancer archy
and my only prayer
is to be allowed
to give my best to my art
but just as i feel
that i am succeeding
in my life work
along comes another batch
of these damned kittens
it is not archy
that i am shy on mother love
god knows i care for
the sweet little things
curse them
but am i never to be allowed
to live my own life
i have purposely avoided
matrimony in the interests
of the higher life
but i might just
as well have been a domestic
slave for all the freedom
i have gained
i hope none of them
gets run over by
an automobile
my heart would bleed
if anything happened
to them and i found it out
but it isn t fair archy
it isn t fair
these damned tom cats have all
the fun and freedom
if i was like some of these
green eyed feline vamps i know
i would simply walk out on the
bunch of them and
let them shift for themselves
but i am not that kind
archy i am full of mother love
my kindness has always
been my curse
a tender heart is the cross i bear
self sacrifice always and forever
is my motto damn them
i will make a home
for the sweet innocent
little things
unless of course providence
in his wisdom should remove
them they are living
just now in an abandoned
garbage can just behind
a made over stable in greenwich
village and if it rained
into the can before i could
get back and rescue them
i am afraid the little
dears might drown
it makes me shudder just
to think of it
of course if i were a family cat
they would probably
be drowned anyhow
sometimes i think
the kinder thing would be
for me to carry the
sweet little things
over to the river
and drop them in myself
but a mother s love archy
is so unreasonable
something always prevents me
these terrible
conflicts are always
presenting themselves
to the artist
the eternal struggle
between art and life archy
is something fierce
my what a dramatic life i have lived
one moment up the next
moment down again
but always gay archy always gay
and always the lady too
in spite of hell
well boss it will
be interesting to note
just how mehitabel
works out her present problem
a dark mystery still broods
over the manner
in which the former
family of three kittens
disappeared
one day she was talking to me
of the kittens
and the next day when i asked
her about them
she said innocently
what kittens
interrogation point
and that was all
i could ever get out
of her on the subject
we had a heavy rain
right after she spoke to me
but probably that garbage can
leaks so the kittens
have not yet
been drowned

archy

the big bad wolf (1935)

i went to a movie show
the other evening in the cuff
of a friends turned up trousers
and saw the three little pigs
and was greatly edified by the moral lesson
how cruel i said to myself
was the big bad wolf
how superior to wolves are men
the wolf would have eaten those pigs raw
and even alive
whereas a man would have kindly
cut their throats
and lovingly made them into
country sausage spare ribs and pigs knuckles
he would tenderly have roasted them
fried them and boiled them
cooked them feelingly with charity
towards all and malice towards none
and piously eaten them served with sauerkraut
and other trimmings
it is no wonder that the edible animals
are afraid of wolves and love men so
when a pig is eaten by a wolf
he realizes that something is wrong with the world
but when he is eaten by a man
he must thank god fervently
that he is being useful to a superior being
it must be the same way
with a colored man who is being lynched
he must be grateful that he is being lynched
in a land of freedom and liberty
and not in any of the old world countries
of darkness and oppression
where men are still the victims
of kings iniquity and constipation
we ought all to be grateful in this country
that our wall street robber barons
and crooked international bankers
are such highly respectable citizens
and do so much for the churches
and for charity
and support such noble institutions and foundations
for the welfare of mankind
and are such spiritually minded philanthropists
it would be horrid to be robbed
by the wrong kind of people
if i were a man i would not let
a cannibal cat me unless he showed me
a letter certifying to his character
from the pastor of his church
even our industrial murderers
in this country are usually affiliated
with political parties devoted
to the uplift
the enlightenment and the progress
of humankind
every time i get discouraged
and contemplate suicide
by impersonating a raisin and getting devoured
as part of a piece of pie
i think of our national blessings
and cheer up again
it is indeed
as i have been reading lately
a great period in which to be alive
and it is a cheering thought to think
that god is on the side of the best digestion
your moral little friend

archy the cockroach

Posted 5:05 PM by Blah blah

Mag

I met up with my friend Magdalene yesterday. She just got her MS in Software Engineering last year and is looking for a job. Help! She's a real sweetie. Originally from Malaysia.

Here are a few more pix of her.

Posted 2:55 PM by Blah blah

Getting Along with People (Thoughtful)

Having been in many MANY arguments throughout my life, some where I acted like a complete jackass, I've learned a little about how to avoid arguments and get along with people. Of course I'm always failing in a small way myself and still have much to learn. But for those of you who may be quick to anger and have a love for scoring debate points, please read this.

In high school I read Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography, which taught me a great lesson about persuading people. I believe that no matter stupid or wrong you may think someone's idea is, you must always show RESPECT for it and him throughout the whole discussion. From Benjamin Franklin and His Enemies:
____________________
[H]is capacity for friendship, though appearing early in his life, was actually an acquired characteristic. He tells us in his Autobiography that as a youth he was "fond" of argument, was in fact of a "disputatious turn," a bad habit, he soon realized, "productive of disgusts and perhaps enmities where you may have occasion for friendship." He had "caught it by reading my father's books of dispute on religion. Persons of good sense, I have since observed, seldom fall into it, except lawyers, university men, and men of all sorts who have been bred at Edinburgh."

Giving up his taste for argument, he next "put on the humble enquirer." This role he learned first from an English grammar and then from Xenophon's Memorable Things of Socrates. The Socratic method reinforced his natural hunger for trapping his adversaries in positions they really did not wish to defend---"entangling them in difficulties out of which they could not extricate themselves, and so obtaining victories that neither myself nor my cause always deserved." He liked to win---he gave no quarter even in chess---but he soon saw that scoring in this fashion was pointless. It convinced no one, and it cost him friends. He then adopted "the habit of expressing myself in terms of modest diffidence," a practice he followed all his life that, one suspects, allowed a freer expression of his own desire to learn. It also helped draw men and women as well as children to him. And in time it became his natural style; what began in artfulness led him to what he really was.
____________________

Also, see Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay "Manners." Emerson is my favorite essayist:
____________________
Defect in manners is usually the defect of fine perceptions....Moral qualities rule the world, but at short distances, the senses are despotic. The same discrimination of fit and fair runs out, if with less rigor, into all parts of life. The average spirit of the energetic class is good sense, acting under certain limitations and to certain ends. It entertains every natural gift. Social in its nature, it respects everything which tends to unite men. It delights in measure.

The love of beauty is mainly the love of measure or proportion. The person who screams, or uses the superlative degree, or converses with heat, puts whole drawing-rooms to flight. If you wish to be loved, love measure. You must have genius, or a prodigious usefulness, if you will hide the want of measure. This perception comes in to polish and perfect the parts of the social instrument. Society will pardon much to genius and special gifts, but, being in its nature a convention, it loves what is conventional, or what belongs to coming together. That makes the good and bad of manners, namely, what helps or hinders fellowship.

For, fashion is not good sense absolute, but relative; not good sense private, but good sense entertaining company. It hates corners and sharp points of character, hates quarrelsome, egotistical, solitary, and gloomy people; hates whatever can interfere with total blending of parties; whilst it values all peculiarities as in the highest degree refreshing, which can consist with good fellowship. And besides the general infusion of wit to heighten civility, the direct splendor of intellectual power is ever welcome in fine society as the costliest addition to its rule and its credit.

The dry light must shine in to adorn our festival, but it must be tempered and shaded, or that will also offend. Accuracy is essential to beauty, and quick perceptions to politeness, but not too quick perceptions. One may be too punctual and too precise. He must leave the omniscience of business at the door, when he comes into the palace of beauty.

Society loves creole natures, and sleepy, languishing manners, so that they cover sense, grace, and good-will; the air of drowsy strength, which disarms criticism; perhaps, because such a person seems to reserve himself for the best of the game, and not spend himself on surfaces; an ignoring eye, which does not see the annoyances, shifts, and inconveniences, that cloud the brow and smother the voice of the sensitive....

The secret of success in society, is a certain heartiness and sympathy. A man who is not happy in the company, cannot find any word in his memory that will fit the occasion. All his information is a little impertinent. A man who is happy there, finds in every turn of the conversation equally lucky occasions for the introduction of that which he has to say. The favorites of society, and what it calls whole souls, are able men, and of more spirit than wit, who have no uncomfortable egotism, but who exactly fill the hour and the company, contented and contenting, at a marriage or a funeral, a ball or a jury, a water-party or a shooting-match.

Posted 10:20 AM by Blah blah

The Scoop on The Matrix Reloaded (Entertainment)

These articles contain spoilers. If you haven't seen the movie yet, like me, don't read these, unless you're like me and addicted to film criticism.

Wayne (aka Laowai) just saw it: "Overall impression...thumbs down, way down." (See his May 14th post.) Just discovered Laowai and think he's an excellent writer about current events. He's an academic who spent much time in China and just returned back to the U.S. because of the SARS outbreak. Fascinating guy. He's going on my reading list!

From N S Ramnath: "The Matrix Reloaded: We Waited Four Years for This? (Slate) asks---regretfully---David Edelstein, who wrote a glowing piece on the first Matrix last week in the New York Times. About this: 'The grim news is that The Matrix Reloaded is as messy and flat-footed as its predecessor is nimble and shapely. It's an ugly, bloated, repetitive movie that builds to a punch line that should have come an hour earlier (at least).' "

My favorite places to check movie reviews are Metacritic and the Online Film Critics Society at Rotten Tomatoes. Here's what the major U.S. press says, from Metacritic.

Despite the film's psychobabble, Salon.com liked it.

Posted 9:28 PM by Blah blah

BlogMatcher: Find Others Who Link Like You (Thoughtful)

Some guys have been discovering my blog through BlogMatcher, a cool new site by Ryo Chijiiwa, a Cal State Chico student, that lists which blogs link the MOST like yours. I've been complaining about not finding more people online who care about things like foreign policy, politics, the entertainment business, science, literature, journalism, and Charlie Rose---stuff I really am dying to talk about.

Yay for BlogMatcher! I'm gonna shoot a quick email to all the guys on my top ten list of blogs most like mine:

1. Quidnunc by James. He's a Linux user and a techie guy who also can talk to policy wonks! Great!

2. ReachM High Cowboy Network Noose by Kahlil. Politically liberal, he seems to like journalism, politics, and law.

3. How Appealing by Howard Bashman. From American Lawyer Media: "Bashman, an appellate lawyer with Philadelphia's Buchanan Ingersoll, presides over 'How Appealing,' the pre-eminent blog for the appellate court community, the primus inter pares of all legal blogs, the undeniable Marbury v. Madison of the genre. All of that, and it is only six months old. From a handful of hits at the beginning, Bashman recently reported getting 42,000 page visits in a single week.

Blogs can seem like diaries or journals, filled with navel-gazing and random observations added throughout the day. Bashman's is more focused, reporting the full range of state and federal appellate opinions and Supreme Court oral arguments. But he manages to keep it interesting and, often, funny.

Appellate lawyers, clerks and judges often say their work is too arcane to talk about with spouses and friends. But in Bashman's world, they find affirmation that analyzing footnotes and parsing cert grants can actually be fun.

'A visit to Howard's site is like hanging out with the world's most compulsive law librarian and Jay Leno at the same time,' says online journalist Dahlia Lithwick, the Supreme Court correspondent for Slate and a Bashman fan. 'It goes a long way toward proving that law might actually be interesting and important to people outside the profession.'

One sign of his popularity is that in recent months, judges, clerks, journalists and even executive branch officials have wanted to be noticed on his blog. He gets frequent e-mails alerting him to rulings or articles they'd like him to feature. And a mention by Bashman can produce results.

When Bashman noticed that a ruling last month by the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals incorrectly cited the 3rd Circuit in a footnote, he noted it in his blog. Within hours, the mistake was corrected -- and Bashman got an e-mail from the judge, Jerry Smith. 'You were the first to spot the error in footnote 17. Thanks. I have fixed it,' Smith wrote Bashman."

4. Blue Goldfish Cafe by Gene van den Bosch. Also a huge news junkie, Gene likes literature and humanities BIG TIME. Yeah!

5. Douze Lunes, a blog in French, by Jean Ruaud in Paris. Given that I adore France, it's no surprise. Jean likes world news and reads all the major American sources, listens to National Public Radio, and even talked Jayson Blair just like I did. Ooh la la!

6. Incoming Signals by Christopher Bahn. Christopher: "I'm a writer, editor, radio dramatist, DJ and chronic websurfer. I live in Minneapolis. I was an English major in college. I'm 5'11". My shoes are size 9 and a half; I try not to wear more than two of them at a time. My car is almost old enough to vote. My blood type is B+. I have bucked the trend in my family towards male-pattern baldness." Awesome---I LOVE radio drama! Chris is the man.

7. Body and Soul by Jeanne D'Arc (not her real name). Interview with Jeanne. She's a professional writer and a mom. A feminist. Also attended Berkeley.

8. Karmalised by Diane, a liberal and another huge news junkie.

9. drat fink by Dave, a blog almost completely in lowercase. Rather cryptic. He wrote this replying to me. :)

10. Skimble by S. Kimble, "culture, politics, commentary, criticism." Liberal.

There you have it! To people discovering me from BlogMatcher, welcome and please say hi! I hope we can start some kind of conversation. I see my brain has much in common with that of a techie/policy wonk, a journalist, a radio dramatist, a writer, a mom, an appellate lawyer, a Frenchman, and an e. e. cummings wannabe. :D

I should change my field.

Posted 5:30 PM by Blah blah

New Baby Name: "Saddam SARS" (Funny)

News link:

"A couple in China have named their baby son Saddam SARS to mark the two important events taking place at the time of his birth, a news report said today.

The boy was born on March 20, the day the Iraq war broke out and at a time when alarm over the SARS outbreak was spreading across China.

His parents, from Hubei, have named the boy Saddam Deng SARS, the South China Morning Post reported. Deng is the parents' family name."

That's worse than a guy I knew of in Taiwan, named "Chief Lay." Or someone named "Acne Chan." This boy is gonna have a vicious sense of humor his whole life.

Posted 5:00 PM by Blah blah

Overweight Jedi Video (Funny)

Met my good friend Magdalene today. I wanted to post her pic for you, but the Berkeley administrators still haven't giving us access to our accounts (where I post all my extra photos). Still waiting.

It seems like I've been doing a "Jayson Blair" the last two days and copying posts from other people. At least I always credit my sources and copy from the best!

From Eric, this link is HILARIOUS. Three cheers for the overweight Jedi community:

"Apparently some kid used a video camera at his school to record his Star Wars fighting skills, then failed to remove the cassette.

Watch the video

It didn't take long for the online community to remix it with full Star Wars special effects and light saber noises.

Watch the video "

To make it easier for you to find the entries you like, I'm gonna categorize all my posts from now on, like I do in Best of Tiger Cafe. I'll add labels like Funny, Thoughtful, Politics, Entertainment, Business, Revealing, and Poetic to the ends of my titles.

Posted 12:33 PM by Blah blah

Dante's Inferno Test (Revealing)

See how wicked you really are! Take Dante's Inferno Test! (Thanks to Eric's journal.) It says I'm mainly "Lustful." Hehehe...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take Dante's Inferno Hell Test. How evil are you?

Posted 9:58 PM by Blah blah

Tobey Maguire: Fired and Rehired For Spider-Man (Entertainment)

I completely missed this story. From Gothamist:

"[W]hat really happened with Tobey Maguire and Spider-Man is amazing: [Kim Masters] gets Tobey Maguire's first comments about his arrogance, firing, re-hiring, and subsequent humility over the experience. Tobey probably realized what an agent says about the possibility of losing the Spider-Man role: 'Tobey Maguire the actor would have survived. But Tobey Maguire the multimillion-dollar movie star? I don't know.' "

Oh, what a tangled web he wove (LA Times):

"Tobey Maguire was dropped from 'Spider-Man's' sequel, then rehired. How did he get back in the picture?...The tale of how Maguire went from out-of-work webslinger to repentant star is a brief but engrossing saga of modern-day Hollywood. It takes place in a world where an actor's power can easily be miscalculated amid the multimillion-dollar paydays that accompany the big franchise movies driving the industry."

Posted 6:32 PM by Blah blah

Gothamist: Jayson Blair, Disgraced New York Times Reporter (Journalism)

Found a new great blog for me! It's a group blog called Gothamist, a newsy blog in the style of how I sort of tried to make Tiger Cafe last year. And it's edited by Jen Chung, originally from New Jersey but now in St. Louis. She works at a New York City ad agency and posts vivid delicious pictures.

She wrote this excellent post about Jayson Blair, the disgraced young New York Times reporter who was forced to resign recently when the Times discovered he'd plagiarized many of his stories.

Yay---a cool news blog!

Posted 4:33 PM by Blah blah

I Love Ted Turner! (Business, Profile)

If you like charismatic, successful, idealistic, and plainspoken men as I do, you'll love Ted Turner. I've admired him and his unusual life for many years. Yet I'd never heard him speak. On April 24, Ted came to San Francisco to give a speech to the Commonwealth Club of California, America's oldest and largest forum for public affairs. (Some years ago, he also spoke at a dinner at my college dorm, International House Berkeley, which I missed.)

Listen to 4/24/03 his speech and Q/A session over the Internet. God, he cracks me up!

To hear or read the speeches of other movers and shakers who have visited the Club since its start in 1903, please go here.

When you first hear Ted speak, you may be shocked. He is actually not a fluent or very educated sounding speaker, a huge contrast to most of the speakers at the Club. He speaks with a parched, slightly grating voice, uses words imprecisely and recklessly, sounds alternately like a redneck farmer and a tie-dyed Berkeley radical, shows depression and emotional vulnerability, makes mistakes, flirts with the woman questioning him, and more!

Ted talks like a larger-than-life crazy uncle, a Yosemite Sam cartoon. I LOVE IT!

He reminds me of farmer guys I've met on a Greyhound bus in Georgia or idealists at a Communist bookstore in Berkeley more than the boring, tight-lipped, cultured, Republican, bureacratic-speak CEOs we are used to hearing. He doesn't speak like you'd think a "rich man" would.

Ted continually shocks the audience into applause by saying stuff your wacky uncle Vern might say but which is very true. Some Ted-speak:

"People will tell ya that these [nuclear] weapons are safe. BULLSHIT! They are NOT safe. They are extremely dangerous."

About the Cold War: "Russia is really quite a nice place!...And [Russians] like to DRINK. You know, that's the thing I could never understand. How could we who like to drink so much hate a country who liked to drink as much as we do! And that's not all they like. They like BALLET! How could you ever think of having nuclear weapons pointed at a nation of BALLET-LOVERS?"

"The environment? I'm FOR IT! That's why I'm trying to buy it up and protect it!"

Or like a beauty pageant contestant: "Peace in the Middle East? YES!"

Or something my aunt would say: "You know how much it cost me to fly here to talk to you? You guys aren't even paying me for this!"

"I say life is like a great B-MOVIE. You wouldn't want to leave in the middle, but you don't want to see it again either!"

"Too much concentration of power in the media today? Absolutely, especially when I'm not the one concentrating it!"

Ted has the balls (and the billions) to literally try to change the world. Graduating from Brown University, he's mainly self-educated, learning from the hard knocks of life. He's not an intellectual by any stretch, yet he tries hard to read and fill in the gaps. I think why I and others feel so familiar and comfortable with Ted, despite the fact that he's one of the world's richest men and the largest landowner in America, is that he's so "folksy." I feel like I could stick my bare feet over the chair, lean back, have some beers with him, and eat bison sandwiches. And he'd listen.

Give 'em hell, Ted! I feel great to know there's an old man with the mind of an idealistic teen up there with the muckamucks.

Here's Ted Turner's profile from AskMen.com:
_______________
Overall rating 88

Ted Turner is an enigma; he is one of the world's richest, most successful businessmen, yet he is also one of the most controversial and outspoken. The sheer magnitude of what he owns, accomplished or has created is staggering, especially considering he only did in one lifetime, and more specifically over the last 20 years.

Among them, he is the founder of CNN, CNNfn, TBS, TNT, Cartoon Network, the former owner of the Atlanta Braves, Atlanta Hawks, Atlanta Thrashers, WCW, donated a then record $1 billion to the United Nations, and married Hollywood star Jane Fonda. By the way, he also won the most prestigious yachting event, America's Cup in 1977. And these are only his most public achievements.

Personality & talent 90

Businessmen have a well deserved reputation for being among the most dry and boring people in the world, yet Ted Turner seems like Jim Carrey's lost brother sometimes. For example, among the comments he made after the AOL and Time Warner merger (in which he will be the largest shareholder): "If they want me to sell magazine subscriptions door to door, I'll do that."

But his most memorable quote has to be -- again during the AOL Time Warner merger press conference - "Shortly before 9:00 last night, I had the honor and privilege of signing a piece of paper that irrevocably cast a vote taken, a vote of my 100 million shares, for this merger," Turner said. "I did it with as much or more excitement and enthusiasm as I did on that night when I first made love some 42 years ago."

Besides the incredibly ballsy attitude one needs to take on the establishment -- as Ted Turner did when he took on the major broadcast networks with his launch of CNN -- one needs a vision, drive and talent to see it through. Although he wasn't able to help his beloved Atlanta Braves on the field during their 1991, 1992 and 1996 World Series losses, we can't question the enormous business acumen and skill of Ted.

Manliness 87

A lot of men would argue that the fact that he is a billionaire and still runs his own ranch up in Montana is definite proof of his manhood. It takes more than being able to milk cows to be a man, but Ted Turner is the epitome of a man, not only for being so successful, but remaining true to himself, his opinions, and never forgetting to be a humanitarian.

Women magnetism 90

Among the things Ted Turner has been criticized for is calling the Ten Commandments "out of date", especially the item on adultery. Ted Turner settled down a few years ago with Jane Fonda, a move that helped subdue the rumors of his womanizing, but don't be fooled, now that he is separated, he is swatting the women away, like one swats flies during a hot, humid, Mississippi summer night.

Accomplishments & fame 98

After all he has accomplished in the last 20 years, it's scary to think what he could have done if he was still young. He was a born salesman and entrepreneur, who has rarely failed in life and even when he did, he picked himself up and learned from the experience.

Coolness factor 74

All right, Ted Turner doesn't exactly fit the description of someone who is hip and in the scene. In fact, he can be a downright hick and redneck. But with a five billion dollar portfolio to back you up, you can buy all the cool you want.

Personal style 87

Ted Turner would be well served if he took a little bit of his well deserved fortune and hired a fashion consultant because he dresses as if Montana was Milan. Wearing the cowboy boots is fine while on the ranch, but in the powerful New York offices, Ted needs more style to go with his substantial success.

Secret Wish: That Ted Turner not be the last of his kind, namely a super successful entrepreneur who is not afraid to speak his mind, and say it like it is.

Posted 12:35 AM by Blah blah

I revised the photo links below (e.g. "Christina wearing her mask") so you can see them directly by clicking on this page. Please try again.

By Christina: SARS Pics From China. More on People Killing Their Pets in China. (Photos, Personal)

Ginny in Taipei loved this article I sent her. From Taiwan: Out of Masks and Scared of SARS? Try a Bra (Reuters).

My friend Christina in Nanjing just sent me these funny SARS pics from China. They are of all types of people, wearing SARS masks, going about their lives. If you don't have an Imagestation account, please use my generic login:

Login: tigercafe
Password: password

Here's Christina wearing her mask. I always tease her that when she smiles, she never shows her teeth. Now it doesn't matter. :D

Christina's family found a stray dog on the street the other day and took her in. Funny pics of the dog wearing a SARS mask 1. Pic 2. Pic 3.

Two kids clowning around. Masked couple walking---awww!

Remember I linked that shocking article in the London Times about how some people in China have gotten paranoid and brutally slaughtered their pets to avoid SARS?

I asked Christina about that, since she loves animals and owns a beautiful "bo mei" dog named Xiao Xiao. Here are pix of her and her dog. She replied (my translation):

"Yes, I have heard some people kill or discard their pets on the streets because the Nanjing government says if a pet has no registration license, the government will fine the pet's owner RMB 5000-10000 ($600-1200). Of course another cause is SARS, but I think that's not the main cause. I hate those people who kill or discard their pets. I hate them very much!!! The other day, my family found a stray dog and took her into my home. BUT yesterday morning my dad forgot to close the door, so we lost her. I can't try to imagine what happened to her after she left my home!

Xiao Xiao is always fine in my home, and he is registered. To apply for a dog license costs RMB 800 ($97). I can't understand those people. Why save their money, if in their mind the pet's life is not important?"

Christina also wrote a blog post about this topic. Here's my very poor translation from Chinese:

"How very awkward to reply to [Raymond] in writing. I hope this does not give foreigners the impression that Chinese are that cruel. One British person who travelled in Sichuan discovered one shocking matter: in order to eat bile from a bear's gallbladder, people capture the bear's tooth and claw, open a hole in the bear's chest, attract its bile, and afterwards continue it to close raises, and so on the secretion bile arrived the certain time, again attracted. [I don't understand this. -RG] The black bear saw the person specially frightened is afraid. This matter is reported in the English media. So forth eats matter Xindu and so on you hear about us eating monkey brains. Any foreigner would think all do not have the Chinese capacity for survival under adverse circumstances, since Chinese dare to eat anything, right?

But hears some people personally kill own pet dog, these people because have not raised for oneself the dog handles the registered permanent address worries is fined (the RMB 5000-10000 fine), abandons it the street corner. Made me feel bad is my family most recent several days adoptions dog dog yesterday very early loses, my father went to the neighboring home only as soon as the meet time forgets to close a door, it ran. Morning my father looks for in the neighborhood of the plot, I ride a bicycle to the far place look for. The result is disappointing! I always are ask the old father it came back does not have, the old father said: " You asked don't again, I had the sentiment to it, continuously fed it helps it �ô�g the above wool, exited the time it also was very ˜¨, turned head has a look me, very sensible dog dog. Early morning I exit also sees it to sleep in the nest, but......" Even if left the main house gate also should not walk too far? Could some people carry off the dog dog? After thinks dog dog exits encounters my whole body wool �E“s is contracting. How should manage?"

Sad. I'm asking my friend Limin to translate Christina's words better for us.

Posted 2:33 PM by Blah blah

Chat with Indian/Spanish Model (Funny, Revealing)

I swear, I sometimes meet the most unusual people over the Net! This is the SECOND time a model has contacted me, after looking at my Yahoo Profile. The first time it was a woman:

Spanish/Indian guy: hi
me: hi
Spanish/Indian guy: was just getting bored and wanted to chat
Spanish/Indian guy: i am a salsa dance teacher
Spanish/Indian guy: and i see you are intrested in salsa :-)
me: yes
Spanish/Indian guy: I am 27 M and my name is _____
me: where do u teach salsa?
Spanish/Indian guy: at my college
me: oh! which one?
Spanish/Indian guy: i am a student doing masters in computer networking
Spanish/Indian guy: University of Massachusetts
me: i enjoy salsa ...took a 6 week course
me: cool...i'm from rhode island originally
Spanish/Indian guy: cool
Spanish/Indian guy: i have been dancing for the past 3 years
me: i'm not a very good dancer...keep forgetting without regular practice
me: how did u get to be a teacher?
Spanish/Indian guy: i just teach at college
Spanish/Indian guy: lots of guys and gals willing to learn
me: how did you start teaching?
Spanish/Indian guy: some of my friends saw me practicing and asked me to teach it to them
me: wow...you have a natural talent :)
me: i only wish
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
Spanish/Indian guy: its easy
me: do you know the site Salsacrazy?
Spanish/Indian guy: comes with practice thats all
Spanish/Indian guy: no
me: it seems like a good way to hook up salsa enthusiasts
me: i'm in san jose, ca
me: we have two major salsa places here
Spanish/Indian guy: uhuh
me: one is a salsa club in downtown San Jose, Club Miami
Spanish/Indian guy: which ones
me: the other is Alberto's in Mountain View
me: i've danced at both
Spanish/Indian guy: there is a Salsa Congress in LA in May right ??
me: i don't know...my favorite teacher here is
me: Bud Ayers
me: i've taken many lessons from him and his wife
Spanish/Indian guy: cool
Spanish/Indian guy: sounds good
me: so you are an actor too??
Spanish/Indian guy: theatre
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: very cool...a geek and an actor
Spanish/Indian guy: all at college
Spanish/Indian guy: :-))
Spanish/Indian guy: and a dancer and a part time model
me: i really enjoy theater too...watching it
me: lucky you! what is it like
me: wearing those Calvin Kleins?
me: strutting around in the buff for photo shoots?
me: haha
Spanish/Indian guy: very good
me: what kind of modeling?
Spanish/Indian guy: how did you know i model for underwear
Spanish/Indian guy: ramp
me: i just guessed!
Spanish/Indian guy: and why so ??
me: cuz you just look like it!
Spanish/Indian guy: you saw me ??
me: so you are a ramp model for underwear???
me: i saw your profile
me: haha
Spanish/Indian guy: oh for anything
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: wow...what a stud
me: hehe
Spanish/Indian guy: generally underwear and beachwear
Spanish/Indian guy: :-))
Spanish/Indian guy: My photos
Spanish/Indian guy: check them out
me: so are you auditioning for anything?
me: what do u act in?
Spanish/Indian guy: theaters in college
Spanish/Indian guy: did you see my pics :-)
me: i did!
Spanish/Indian guy: just curious
me: too bad i'm not a casting director
Spanish/Indian guy: haha
Spanish/Indian guy: or else you would have taken me huh
me: well i'd have to see you audition :)
me: are you asian in some way?
me: you look slightly indian
Spanish/Indian guy: spanish and Indian
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: ah! hence the salsa
Spanish/Indian guy: yes
Spanish/Indian guy: its in my blood
me: well i'm sure you get all the ladies :)
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
Spanish/Indian guy: i do ;-)
Spanish/Indian guy: :-))
me: sigh...
me: good for you
Spanish/Indian guy: yeah and it's bad too
Spanish/Indian guy: lots of guys make a hit on me too :-)
Spanish/Indian guy: :-(
me: oh
me: well don't complain!
Spanish/Indian guy: why ??
me: well you get the salt with the sugar
me: i mean the pitfalls of being attractive are usually more pleasant than the reverse
Spanish/Indian guy: so i am seriously thinking of accepting it for a guy just to see whats its like :-)
me: what do u mean?
Spanish/Indian guy: you know what i mean
me: oh...
me: but you are not gay right?
Spanish/Indian guy: i just wnat to see what guys find so attractive in other guys
Spanish/Indian guy: no i am not
Spanish/Indian guy: i want to do research on why guys get attracted to guys
me: how do u do this research?
Spanish/Indian guy: i have take psychology you see
me: they have a government grant for this? :p
Spanish/Indian guy: by interacting with them
Spanish/Indian guy: i dunno
me: hmmm....but isn't it obvious?
Spanish/Indian guy: what ??
me: why do you need research?
Spanish/Indian guy: i mean why do men become gay
Spanish/Indian guy: its against the laws of nature
me: oh...i thought it was a genetic thing
Spanish/Indian guy: i dunno
me: people have already done tons of research on it
Spanish/Indian guy: i am one of them
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: oh?? what have you done?
Spanish/Indian guy: noting much just starting
me: what...you hang out at bars and bring a notepad?
Spanish/Indian guy: have gone out on dates with guys just to see why they went out with me ??
me: watch the "buying signals"?
Spanish/Indian guy: no
Spanish/Indian guy: i make notes after i get back home
me: gee....isn't that misleading them?
me: you aren't gay yet you act like it?
Spanish/Indian guy: i dont tell em
me: you even kiss them???
Spanish/Indian guy: sometimes
Spanish/Indian guy: not always
Spanish/Indian guy: i try to avoid it thoough
me: wow...that's really getting "involved" in your research!
Spanish/Indian guy: yes
me: so what have you discovered??
Spanish/Indian guy: nothing yet
me: isn't it obvious why guys can be attracted to guys...for the same reasons as girls!
Spanish/Indian guy: very confusing
Spanish/Indian guy: yeah but why guys whne you have girls
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: oh...that's a biological thing i guess
me: chromosonal
Spanish/Indian guy: but against nature right
Spanish/Indian guy: has no use
me: i don't know
me: that's a touchy subject
Spanish/Indian guy: yeah
me: but then again
me: mutation is always part of nature
Spanish/Indian guy: yeah
Spanish/Indian guy: it is
me: so who knows what is "natural"?
Spanish/Indian guy: yes exactly
me: plus gay people have popped up throughout history
Spanish/Indian guy: yes
me: for centuries
Spanish/Indian guy: true
me: romans
me: etc.
me: maybe you're trying to prepare to play a gay man in a part?
me: that's where your research would help!
Spanish/Indian guy: uhuh
Spanish/Indian guy: great idea
Spanish/Indian guy: i will do that
me: hehe...but then i think it's bad for those gay men who spend their time and money on you
me: to not let them know
Spanish/Indian guy: who knows i might become one of them :-))
me: oh??
me: so you are thinking of becoming bi?
Spanish/Indian guy: was just kidding
me: i know some bi girls
Spanish/Indian guy: no way
me: oh
me: ok
me: well i write a "blog" = web log
me: and many gay men write them too
Spanish/Indian guy: and
me: if you read them
me: you'll get insight into how their think
me: how they are attracted, etc...
me: one of the best by a gay men is
Spanish/Indian guy: is what ??
me: Jeff
me: http://www.tinmanic.com
me: a lawyer in N.J.
me: great writer and he writes in detail about his love life
Spanish/Indian guy: oh cool stuff
me: plus he links to a lot of other gay men
Spanish/Indian guy: uhuh
Spanish/Indian guy: you are a great help to my research
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: hehe...my pleasure
Spanish/Indian guy: my roommate is a model and he is gay
Spanish/Indian guy: wannna see him
Spanish/Indian guy: that helpsa lot
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: oh....!
me: well what does HE say about your research?
Spanish/Indian guy: he likes it
Spanish/Indian guy: he has an open mind
Spanish/Indian guy: he is a model too
Spanish/Indian guy: wanna see him?
Spanish/Indian guy: he can get any girl on this planet and still he is gay
me: what he has pix up?
Spanish/Indian guy: good pics
Spanish/Indian guy: portfolio
me: sure...where?
Spanish/Indian guy: http://briefcase.yahoo.com/indianadonis2001
me: he's from indiana?
Spanish/Indian guy: no
Spanish/Indian guy: he is from India
me: oh india! doh
Spanish/Indian guy: yes
me: so you guys should head to Bollywood!
me: or Bombay Dreams...the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical
Spanish/Indian guy: :-))
Spanish/Indian guy: great
me: he casts Indian stars
me: btw, do you know Fareed Zakaria?
me: He's from India but the editor of Newsweek International
me: he's a hottie too and a foreign policy geek
Spanish/Indian guy: nope
Spanish/Indian guy: any pic ofhis
me: sure..
me: go to fareedzakaria.com
Spanish/Indian guy: so did you like my roommamte
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: sure but i'm not gay ok
me: i don't usually look at guys' pix
Spanish/Indian guy: i know
Spanish/Indian guy: neither am I
Spanish/Indian guy: :-)
me: well best of luck to you and your roommate!
me: you need a good script
Spanish/Indian guy: yes
Spanish/Indian guy: thanx for your help
Spanish/Indian guy: come to LA for the salsa congress if possible
me: good luck with your salsa :)
me: oh are you going?
Spanish/Indian guy: yes
Spanish/Indian guy: i might
Spanish/Indian guy: good luck with dancing
Spanish/Indian guy: can we keep in touch
me: thanks! sure :)
me: best wishes to you!
me: i'm raymond
Spanish/Indian guy: you too
me: take care!
Spanish/Indian guy: nice meeting you raymond
Spanish/Indian guy: very few people talk sense ove rthe net
Spanish/Indian guy: this was a great chat session
me: i know...you hit the jackpot! hehe
Spanish/Indian guy: and you too
me: i have a brain
me: hehe thanks
Spanish/Indian guy: beauty with brains :-p
Spanish/Indian guy: thats me
Spanish/Indian guy: :-))
me: hehe...ok, snow white
Spanish/Indian guy: bye

Posted 12:39 PM by Blah blah

Happy Mother's Day!

Am taking my mom out today.

Posted 6:03 AM by Blah blah

Blogging: Leaving Messages on a Refrigerator (Revealing, Thoughtful)

I've gotten really fed up with blogging.

That's what blogging feels like for me---like I'm married and have lots of great stuff I'm excited about. But my wife doesn't have time to talk to me. So I write it all up and leave messages behind a refrigerator magnet, in hope that she'll get to it eventually. But she usually never replies to what I'm saying.

Some of you will think I'm arrogant or selfish, but I started blogging with slightly different expectations and hopes than some people. I always write for an audience as well as just me. My friends were too busy to reply to some of the things I had bubbling in my mind, so I started looking online for that mental connection, that satisfaction of discussing things you care about with people who really take the effort to listen---people who have opinions of their own.

Blogging has never been mainly a place to complain about my life or post stories of what I had for breakfast. I've always used my blog as a place to have an intellectual or deeper conversation about the things most people ignore when rushing by in their daily lives. What I most wish is that I will find some new friends who care about the world as I do, who will talk back and think about what I've said.

For the few of you who HAVE replied and HAVE had great talks with me, I am really grateful. I am happy I got to meet a special person like you in a place in which our social circles may never have intersected. For all of those people who've talked to me, called me, met me, etc.. I am happy. I am blessed. You know who you are.

I don't care about fame. I care about quality of interaction. I care about provoking thought.

Unfortunately, and call me selfish, but the interaction part of blogging has been really unsatisfying to me. For all the effort put into this blog, I feel like I'm leaving messages on a refrigerator that just get tossed away by a wife who's always too busy to listen. The whole "interaction of the minds" which attracted me to blogging is missing.

Sorry if I'm old-fashioned, but I don't like the idea of purely "Internet" friends. We're either friends or not friends. Period. I dislike all the ways people will go to avoid meeting in person, to take an Internet relationship to the next step. To show mock coyness about revealing their "secret" identity, to never want to talk on the phone, to be unavailable outside of Yahoo Messenger or AIM. C'mon. You want to be friends? Be friends warts and all. I care more about your mind than your looks.

So with Internet friends I tend to try to take it to the next level, since I am old-fashioned and prefer a good talk on the phone to a lot of LOL chatting. My long distance phone bill is cheap. I can call France for 6 cents/minute. So phone cost is rarely a problem for me (except the Philippines). And even then we could still talk by voice chat.

For me anyway, blogging has turned into a big exercise in frustration. Great for writing practice, but bad for real human interaction and the meeting of the minds that I most crave.

I have better talks on the phone with my friends who barely speak English than I do with most of my blog readers.

I don't know if I really see a point to this blog any more. Sorry for being depressing, but it's how I really feel now. Perhaps a better solution is for me to stop blogging but keep in touch with you through phone and email. And I could join a group in real-life that really talks about the world with the interest that I don't find here.

What say you?

Unhappily yours, Raymond