Posted 11:04 AM by Blah blah

Lisa's Murder Mystery (Events)

Lisa ("BritChick") and I. Ooh la la!

I went to British lady Lisa's Murder Mystery event last night with Patrick and Wendy. Lisa, not showing any sign of her foot injury, sang, acted, and hosted in a deliciously campy way. Her whole cast got into the fun, acting like 1920s flappers, seductresses, gangsters, and more. One of the funniest parts was that of Scarlet, a woman who spent an extra-long time trying to die on stage.

Lisa looked fantastic. I told her she needs to produce an exercise video called: "Lie on the Couch, Slim Your Tummy."

I had my eyes closed for most of these pictures. Lisa joked: "I thought you were just trying to look sexy." As you can see, my waist has shrunk in the last several months. I need some safety pins to hold my pants up, honey.

Murder Mystery Photos, taken by Patrick. You are welcome to buy any prints from Patrick. He's an awesome guy!


Wendy and I.

Posted 9:24 AM by Blah blah

Arnold's Sickening Past (Politics)

Schwarzenegger's Sex Talk (The Smoking Gun):

"Arnold Schwarzenegger once told a magazine interviewer about participating in an orgy with other bodybuilders, noting that 'everybody jumped on' the woman involved and 'took her upstairs where we all got together.' The California Republican added that not every muscleman participated in the gang bang, 'just the guys who can fuck in front of other guys. Not everybody can do that. Some think that they don't have a big-enough cock, so they can't get a hard-on.' "

Yuck. I found the full text of the March 2001 Premiere magazine article on Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Arnold the Barbarian."

Please read the article.

Its sexual allegations about Arnold are disgusting:

In less than 24 hours, the star was said to have attempted to, as high school boys used to say, cop a little feel from three different female talk-show hosts. The level of consternation expressed by those who received this hands-on treatment from the hulking, Austrian-born international superstar ranged from none whatsoever (Denise Van Outen of The Big Breakfast invites her guests to lie on a bed with her and, hence, probably has a rather elastic definition of what constitutes inappropriate behavior) to irked (on tape, Celebrity interviewer Melanie Sykes looks a little thrown off after Arnold gives her a very definite squeeze on the rib cage, directly under her right breast) to, finally, righteously indignant. Anna Richardson of Big Screen claims that after the cameras stopped rolling for her interview segment, Schwarzenegger, apparently attempting to ascertain whether Richardson’s breasts were real, tweaked her nipple and then laughed at her objections. “I left the room quite shaken,” she says. “What was more upsetting was that his people rushed to protect him and scapegoated me, and not one person came to apologize afterward.”...

During the production of the 1991 mega-blockbuster Terminator 2: Judgment Day, a producer on that film recalls Arnold’s emerging from his trailer one day and noticing a fortyish female crew member, who was wearing a silk blouse. Arnold went up to the woman, put his hands inside her blouse, and proceeded to pull her breasts out of her bra. Another observer says, “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This woman’s nipples were exposed, and here’s Arnold and a few of his clones laughing. I went after the woman, who had run to the shelter of a nearby trailer. She was hysterical but refused to press charges for fear of losing her job. It was disgusting.”...

A woman who went to the set of 1996’s Eraser recalls the friend she was visiting there being asked to retrieve Schwarzenegger from his trailer for a shot that was ready to roll earlier than expected. “He asked me if I wanted to meet Arnold, and I said sure. When we opened the door to his trailer, Arnold was giving oral sex to a woman. He looked up and, with that accent, said very slowly, ‘Eating is not cheating.’ I met him again about a year later and asked him, in German, whether or not eating was cheating, and he just laughed.”

Original source for me: the The Daily Kos.

The Daily Kos is about the most widely read Democratic political blog. Lots of useful news for Democrats.

Please encourage your friends NOT to vote for Arnold! It would be a huge bad joke for California if he won.

Have you heard him speak for an extended time at all? He never talks about specific policy positions, except things like "I support after school programs, I support children, I won't raise taxes, I will cut spending."

Yeah right. It's like saying "I support weight loss, I support gorging myself on apple pie."

Posted 9:05 AM by Blah blah

How to Be a Better Speaker and Writer (Speaking, Writing)

From a letter I just wrote to an engineer:

About your speaking and writing skills, why not take a writing or public speaking class? You may join groups like Toastmasters, which have people who help each other improve their public speaking.

The best ways to improve your communications skills:

1) Read excellent writers in different fields, not just technology. Expand your range of expression by reading poetry, drama, essays, etc. Some of the best writers in the English language write for the New Yorker magazine. I used to read it from cover to cover each week. It's my favorite magazine and really influenced my writing style.

In fact, AVOID bureaucratic and office writing like the plague. Avoid engineers' writing. Most of the office memos you see will teach you how NOT to write.

2) Listen to excellent speakers. Listening to talk radio helps. I used to listen to KGO talk radio every day as a teenager, trying to absorb how the excellent hosts dealt with various guests and callers. Excellent interview shows like "Charlie Rose" help. You may listen to his interviews with the world's movers and shakers in all fields, all on his website.

If you like politics and current events, all of these sites I link have excellent speakers.

Excellent TV news interview shows are also good, like "The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer." Their guests are all well-educated, articulate, and persuasive speakers.

3) Write on a regular basis, but challenge yourself. Try to copy a magazine writer's style or your favorite author's style. That's what Benjamin Franklin did when he first started publishing. There's no shame in copying style. That's how you learn from others. It's like learning to program. You first copy other programmers' styles.

4) Constantly meet and talk to people, but try to find ARTICULATE people. Find people from whom you can improve your speaking. AVOID talking to only engineers. Make friends with marketing and salespeople. Creative people. Artists. Teachers. Lawyers. Managers. They are the best communicators.

5) MOST IMPORTANTLY, fine-tune all of your senses. Become an excellent observer of life. When you meet a person, REALLY listen to him. Become an expert at interpreting non-verbal communication. Shut off all of those side conversations in your head and focus 100% on how his eyes shift, how his hands fidget, and how he keeps nodding off like he's bored (hehe). Don't take everything he says literally, but ask yourself WHY he says it. Why he acts that way. Study people and the world obsessively.

Smell the world. See it from unusual angles. Take pictures of the world upside down. Feel and taste it. Never ever stop being curious.

How observant and creative you are ultimately determines how interesting you are as a writer and speaker. You could take all the technical communication and speaking classes you wish, but if you miss half of the things that go on around you, can't read non-verbal signals from people, and find most people and places boring, that means one thing.

YOU are boring.

Good writers and speakers can make everything sound interesting. They find everything interesting. They can turn every puff of dust they touch into a raging sandstorm.

Everyone can and should improve his writing and speaking. It helps you in business. It helps you in relationships. Hell, it helps you in your sex life.

Go forth and multiply, my friends! We sorely need better speakers and writers in the world. I'm tired of being one of the few people in my circle of friends who cares about the English language. Go forth and spread the gospel of sucking in the marrow of life.

Posted 5:01 PM by Blah blah

MixerMixer Talk (Gossip)

Wow! Look at my MixerMixer profile page and others'. They are buzzing with talk about Chip's (Prismatik's) "nice guy" post and my "women who use men" post.

Posted 1:23 PM by Blah blah

Dumping Beautiful Women (Relationships)

Boy, I have SO been there! Guys, do NOT let a woman's beauty mesmerize you into tolerating lousy behavior or treatment. It's just not worth the pain.

5 Reasons to Dump a Woman (AskMen.com):

1- She's not a giver
2- She has no integrity
3- She's inflexible
4- She's a complainer and a nag
5- She's not fun to be with

See the article for details.

Here's an addition to yesterday's post:

Women Who Use Men (AskMen.com):
_______________
Two types of women

The Mercenary differs from The Queen Bee in that once she has picked out her mark -- a man who will provide her with enhanced social status, unlimited financial resources, and a life of leisure -- she will then give her body to him as her part of the bargain -- but not her heart. She must, however, convince her victim that she has fallen in love with him. That's a crucial part of the con.

What distinguishes The Mercenary from The Queen Bee, is that there is, no matter how hollow and meaningless it may be, some tangible form of reciprocity given for the goodies that she gets. She does get intimate with her victim. (Although once a contract has been signed, i.e., marriage, the frequency of the intimacy often diminishes substantially.)

The Queen Bee, on the other hand, who is the subject of today's article, usually has a collection of several different men who provide her with goods and services and to whom she never gives more than a peck on the cheek. Her guy pals get to be her butler, banker and/or Mr. Fixit, but none of them ever get to have a real relationship with her.

This tempestuous temptress plays dumb and acts as if she has no idea that the various guys in her orbit are attracted to her, and are waiting and hoping that she will choose them to be her boyfriend. If she's ever asked about her relationship with one of them, she'll say, "Oh, he's a really great friend." When translated into English from Womanese, this means: "He's one of my stooges."

The sick thing is that this is all perfectly fine with Ms. "Me." As far as she's concerned, they're all lucky enough to be spending time with her, and they deserve to pay for the privilege. They give. She takes. That's the relationship. She keeps 'em coming back for more by being as warm and sweet as sun-drenched honey on the outside. But her heart is as cold as a week old cadaver.

One could argue that these guys who follow her bidding like indentured servants deserve what they get (or to be more precise -- what they don't get). But as my Cousin Sal "The Fish" Love would say, "In the game of love, there are no victims, only volunteers."

Don't let her looks fool you

The problem is that these fellows have allowed themselves to be hypnotized into believing that their investment in time, money and energy is winning them points and helping to build the Queen Bee's romantic Interest Level in them. But the opposite is true. The more hoops these guys jump through, the more the Q.B. chuckles with contempt for them. (Some of them wake up and save themselves from more abuse after only a few months of servitude. Others go on for years in a state of ignorance and denial like living zombies.)

The way to deal with this dangerous darling is to never get involved with her to begin with, no matter how beautiful she may be. Walk away from her the way you'd walk away from a losing crap table in a Vegas casino.

Posted 2:49 PM by Blah blah

"Nice Guy" Problem Revisted (Relationships)

Chip (aka "Prismatik" on MixerMixer) was lamenting on his profile page about how he's stuck in the "Nice Guy" trap with women:

"The problem with being a Certified Nice Guy is, people treat you nicely when they need you. And when they don't need you, they just ignore you. The only contact they make is when they need you to do something for them. When you need something in return, no matter what it is, they're not there. They make all kinds of excuses for NOT being there when you need them, for not reciprocating the so-called 'friendship.'

Moreover, they expect you to put up with this behaviour indefinitely. To take it up the ass, 'like a man,' forever.

What these people don't realize is, Nice Guys are still human. Even a solid ROCK, neglected, breaks down into dust that blows away in the wind.

And they wonder why we snap."

Chip really enjoyed that article I posted two years ago about the irresistible allure of the slightly gay heterosexual man. He says it describes him so well! Since I always see him surrounded by women in his photos, I don't think he has a problem meeting women.

I replied:

Haha, Chip! Glad you liked that article from my old journal. I think it's why that Bravo show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is so popular. Girls watch it and think, ooh, I wish I could give my sloppy, uncultured boyfriend a makeover like that. Just add a pinch more "gay" to him, and he'd be perfect.

Guys who care about style, culture, furnishing the kitchen and all that are very popular with girls. Believe you me. If that's how you are, be proud of that.

The trick is to remain take-charge, decisive, and masculine while showing that type of "feminine sensitivity." Many chicks would just die of joy right there.

To deal with the dreaded "Nice Guy" and "just friends" problem, I'd say try to hold back and be more aloof. Don't be so automatically helpful to women. Or make sure you ask them on a DATE DATE alone and not just the vague "hanging out" that people do. Make it absolutely clear that you want them romantically, sexually, whatever. But NOT as friends. Move on if that's all they want. Don't hang around. You're looking for a girlfriend, not another platonic woman friend.

Women like a touch of NAUGHTY with the nice. They always like the nice. But to avoid boring them, you must show leadership and flirt with them in a slightly naughty way. Then once you're dating, all the nice stuff you already have is only a plus!

Posted 11:53 PM by Blah blah

Networking (Business)

I've been doing a lot of networking recently, instinctively. People are calling me the "human Craigslist," asking me to help them find software developers, babysitters, friends, and customers.

Pjammer's old blog entry about social networking: Navigating the Corridors of Power. He and I have been talking much recently.

I think I'm a natural "connector." I love to bring people together. I have the imagination to see how disparate people can mutually help each other, and I love to introduce them. I keep my contact lists constantly updated and well-organized. My friend Vivian actually used me to expand her social circle when she returned from working in Tokyo for two years. I actually set her up with her boyfriend, a Stanford graduate who was my coworker.

In fact, trying to connect you to people and experiences you should have is one of the main reasons I write this blog!

Read the article about Keith Ferrazzi, The 10 Secrets of a Master Networker:

Rule 1: Don't network just to network.
Rule 2: Take names.
Rule 3: Build it before you need it.
Rule 4: Never eat alone.
Rule 5: Be interesting.
Rule 6: Manage the gatekeeper. Artfully.
Rule 7: Always ask.
Rule 8: Don't keep score. "Successful networking is never about simply getting what you want. It's about getting what you want and making sure that people who are important to you get what they want, too. Often, that means fixing up people with one another."
Rule 9: Ping constantly.
Rule 10: Find anchor tenants. Feed them.

Posted 4:07 PM by Blah blah

Best 2003 Movie: Seabiscuit (Entertainment)

I saw Seabiscuit recently, written and directed by Gary Ross, and starring Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges, Elizabeth Banks, Chris Cooper, and William H. Macy. It's about horse racing and one of America's finest horses.

God, it is the BEST new movie I've seen this year. The best since The Pianist. Very refreshing if you're burned out on this summer's glut of CGI action movies.

It made me cry. I identified much with several of the characters. Not only was it deeply touching, it was intimate, nostalgic, and at times warmly funny.

''You don't throw a whole life away just because it's banged up a little.''

You want great acting? Feel you've been beaten down by life and need a boost of inspiration? Need a second chance in life?

Seabiscuit is your movie. I foresee many Academy Award nominations.

(I also thoroughly loved writer/director Gary Ross' 1998 film, which also starred Tobey Maguire and William H. Macy, called Pleasantville. Completely unique and worth watching.)

Posted 11:58 AM by Blah blah

Mira as a Marvel Superhero (Funny)

Hahaha! I love Mira's latest post about her and her mom.

You withstood the torture well, my child. You qualify for that ABC show Alias.

Posted 3:32 PM by Blah blah

Problems of Aging Actresses (Society)

Sad article. Showtime film looks at the indignities women face in Hollywood (San Francisco Chronicle):
__________________
Debra Winger was one of Hollywood's top stars in the early '80s, but she figured out pretty quickly that something was wrong in a business that sets impossible standards of youth and beauty.

During the making of "An Officer and a Gentleman," producer Don Simpson knocked on her door and handed her a manila envelope. Inside was a diuretic pill. "We watched the dailies," Simpson said in a low, I'm-doing-you-a-favor voice. "You look a little bloated."

It was that kind of humiliation that eventually drove the gifted actress out of the business. Unlike the rest of her peers -- who still fight for parts, go for Botox injections and struggle not to look their age -- Winger just walked away at 39.

Her departure, so rare among actresses, inspired a new documentary about female survival in the movie industry. Directed by actress Rosanna Arquette and airing at 8 tonight on Showtime, "Searching for Debra Winger" is a fascinating look at aging and adjustment in a high-stress, youth-worshiping profession."

Posted 7:58 PM by Blah blah

Exhausted

My weekend:

-Two parties Saturday night. One was all Chinese---very hot. Even the cops showed up.
-Girls. Girl issues. Should I even bother to speak their language?
-Helped a Japanese flight attendant and her two kids today. She looked amazingly similar to my favorite Japanese actress, Tomoko Yamaguchi.

I fell in love with the Japanese drama in which Yamaguchi starred, Long Vacation, in 1996. Just listening to the music on this website gives me goosebumps. Long Vacation MIDI music files.

-Five hours rollerblading today. Taught laggers and got left.
-My neighbor's car completely engulfed in flames on my street. Came home to a fire truck and two police cars.
-Bone tired.