Posted 2:49 PM by Blah blah

"Nice Guy" Problem Revisted (Relationships)

Chip (aka "Prismatik" on MixerMixer) was lamenting on his profile page about how he's stuck in the "Nice Guy" trap with women:

"The problem with being a Certified Nice Guy is, people treat you nicely when they need you. And when they don't need you, they just ignore you. The only contact they make is when they need you to do something for them. When you need something in return, no matter what it is, they're not there. They make all kinds of excuses for NOT being there when you need them, for not reciprocating the so-called 'friendship.'

Moreover, they expect you to put up with this behaviour indefinitely. To take it up the ass, 'like a man,' forever.

What these people don't realize is, Nice Guys are still human. Even a solid ROCK, neglected, breaks down into dust that blows away in the wind.

And they wonder why we snap."

Chip really enjoyed that article I posted two years ago about the irresistible allure of the slightly gay heterosexual man. He says it describes him so well! Since I always see him surrounded by women in his photos, I don't think he has a problem meeting women.

I replied:

Haha, Chip! Glad you liked that article from my old journal. I think it's why that Bravo show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is so popular. Girls watch it and think, ooh, I wish I could give my sloppy, uncultured boyfriend a makeover like that. Just add a pinch more "gay" to him, and he'd be perfect.

Guys who care about style, culture, furnishing the kitchen and all that are very popular with girls. Believe you me. If that's how you are, be proud of that.

The trick is to remain take-charge, decisive, and masculine while showing that type of "feminine sensitivity." Many chicks would just die of joy right there.

To deal with the dreaded "Nice Guy" and "just friends" problem, I'd say try to hold back and be more aloof. Don't be so automatically helpful to women. Or make sure you ask them on a DATE DATE alone and not just the vague "hanging out" that people do. Make it absolutely clear that you want them romantically, sexually, whatever. But NOT as friends. Move on if that's all they want. Don't hang around. You're looking for a girlfriend, not another platonic woman friend.

Women like a touch of NAUGHTY with the nice. They always like the nice. But to avoid boring them, you must show leadership and flirt with them in a slightly naughty way. Then once you're dating, all the nice stuff you already have is only a plus!