Posted 1:07 PM by Blah blah

Bad Listener (Relationships)

By Edie, who writes a fantastic blog about her dating efforts in New York City:

"[H]e proceeded to send me a six-page email message, in which he detailed an excruciatingly funny episode in his life as an orchestra player. Every word of the six-page email message seemed painstakingly chosen in order to deliver the maximum comic impact. His language, indeed, was funnier than was the actual incident itself. On one hand, I certainly appreciated the sense of humor he obviously possessed, but on the other hand, the length and the machine-gun like onslaught of high-larity made the message seem somehow stilted and forced. But I could hardly hold that against him. He was sweetly trying hard. But the note also ignored the fact that the audience was only one person. It might as well have been for a stadium’s worth of people because it overlooked the small reality of my existence. In my response to him, I of course gave information about myself, but it would have been nice had he exhibited a little more interest in me, by say, proposing a few queries. He never did find out that this musical instrument was something I also had played."

What you wrote, Edie, really struck me and reminded me of some people. Some who seem witty and fascinating seem to do it as a rehearsed speech for the crowd instead of a spontaneous reaction to you and what you have just said.

Hear hear. I think the best listeners are those who can tell what you MEANT, more eloquently than you could express it, and not judge you by the literal (incoherent) words you SAID.

I used to date someone like this in college. Talking to her was sheer heaven. I come from a family where people don't listen well, where they talk AT each other instead of TO each other, and where people must shout to be noticed. When I first visited this girl, she actually shut off her TV when I started talking, and she really listened.

I was in deep shock and fell for her like that.

Posted 10:40 AM by Blah blah

Happy. Yahoo! Calendar.

I'm very happy today. Life is good.

For all absent-minded people, here's how you can remember appointments. Put them all in Yahoo! Calendar. Through it, I note down every little phone call, errand, bill payment, library book due date, etc. I have promised to make. It emails me reminders and pops up a Yahoo! Messenger window on my screen.

It lets you set recurring appointments (like paying your monthly bills) and appointments even a year in advance. It's free. It also integrates with your Yahoo! Address Book and Mail. If you put your friend's birthday into your Yahoo! Address Book, it lets you merge that into your Yahoo! Calendar.

I never have any excuse to forget things now. I don't live without it! Yahoo! Calendar has really helped organize my life.

Posted 9:55 AM by Blah blah

"Craigslist" in Chinese, for San Francisco Bay Area

Sally visited me at my place last night. She told me about this site that just started in mid-June:

Silicon Valley Chinese, a "Craigslist" in Chinese for the Bay Area.

Fantastic. It's simple, fast-loading, and convenient. Not many users yet. Tell all your Chinese-speaking friends (and their parents) about it!

Posted 2:44 AM by Blah blah

Fighting Telemarketers: National Do-Not-Call List (Telemarketing)

Stop telemarketers! The federal government just started its national Do-Not-Call List. Sign up! I've signed up my home and cell phone numbers. You will block most telemarketers in the U.S. from legally calling you for FIVE YEARS.

Here's more information on the "National Do Not Call Registry":

"On October 1, 2003, when the National Do Not Call Registry will be enforced, most telemarketers will be required to remove the numbers on the registry from their call lists.

If you make a request to a specific organization that they not call you, they are required to honor your request. If they subsequently call you again, they may be subject to a fine of up to $11,000.

Even if you do not register with the National Do Not Call Registry, you can still prohibit individual telemarketers, one by one, from calling, by asking them to put you on their company's do not call list."

From Jacqueline:

"If you can't get the do-not-call site by name, try the IP address: 206.16.196.198. You may also call 1-888-382-1222."

Some individual states (including California) have their own do-not-call lists. However, they will be transferred to the national list.

Posted 2:16 AM by Blah blah

Preventing Spam: Never Put Your Correct Email Address on Any Website (Spam)

By Sean:

"Foreign Policy magazine did a simple test of the main sources of spam. They set up 250 test email addresses and divided the addresses into six groups. Each group represented a potential source of spam. The study was conducted over six months. The result: 8,842 spam messages.

- Email was used to register a domain name: 1 message

- Email was used on a Web-based discussion board: 15 messages

- Email was sold commercially without owner's permission: 25 messages

- Email was sold or shared commercially without owner's permission: 85 messages

- Email was posted on a USENET discussion group: 110 messages

- Email was posted on a public website: 8,609 messages

Perhaps the most interesting result is that giving out an email address to a company or person results in relatively little spam. You get into real trouble as soon as your email address makes it to a public website, like this blog!"

This is why you should NEVER put your correct email address on ANY website. For example, I left some comments on Christina's blog, which is in Nanjing, China. Email addresses in her comment forms get posted onto that comment page. Soon after, my email address was indexed in all these Chinese search engines. I began to receive tons of goddamned spam from China and Taiwan.

The best way to prevent spam is to simply not post or give out your email address in the first place. You have four choices:

1. Don't give out an address, period.
2. Give out a phony address: I like "a@b.com"
3. Create an account mainly for junk mail. Enter that in all comment and standard web forms.
4. Modify your address so it doesn't go anywhere but people can read and change it. For example, "johnATyahooDOTcom" or "john_at_yahoo_dot_com" or "johnDELETETHIS@yahoo.com."

Posted 8:21 PM by Blah blah

Sonially: Actress in Los Angeles (Blog)

A new blog for your reading list. Kiki, who's Thai, used to compete in figure skating, and told me she took two years off of school to audition for parts in LA, will love this:

Sonially, a Hmong actress in Los Angeles. She's very sharp, sassy, and witty. Plus she's got that Audrey Hepburn look.



Some of her entries I liked:

- The Other Girl, in which she acts like a drama queen. Don't we expect actresses to have these types of lives? *Wink*
- Let's do the numbers: "In the process of finding her true love every single and dating woman has at least three men in her life: the one 1) she loves 2) that has money 3) she has great sex with (the booty call) and 4) the friend. Some have more depending on the complexity of her personality but for most the general rule is no more than 4 and no less than 3. From experience, 3.5 is always good."
- Interviewing for jobs: "Here are some things I've learned :

1. Male employers will always be more lenient with good looking women.
2. Women employers will always be harder on good looking women."
- Just for Men: How to handle rejection:

If you know someone who knows her ask them to introduce you. If not, I suppose the best route to meet any girl.. is to simply introduce yourself and let it be known you're interested. Don't go the friends route because YOU will be categorized as a friend. It will never change! Not for me anyway. There's nothing worse than a fucken infiltrator in a girl's gossip/secret/friendship circle. Be up front and if she's interested she'll think it's flattering. If she kicks you in the stomach, well think of it this way...at least you know she's not stringing you along. But there is nothing more devastating than a guy friend turned suitor.

However, let me bring up something that's more important than everything I just blabbered about. The most important thing that a guy must never forget is... IF SHE TURNS YOU DOWN TAKE IT LIKE A HONORABLE MAN AND LET it go.... !! I've had to deal with some very strange and scary men, men who live in this fantasy world...of, "if I like you, it means you have to like me back."

Posted 11:46 AM by Blah blah

July 2003 Issue, SAM Magazine (Media)

The latest issue of SAM magazine is up. Please let me know if you find any major mistakes. I've not written anything for the magazine yet.

I plan to ask YOU and others to help me write more intelligent, sexy, funny, and personal stories for SAM magazine. Stay tuned!

Posted 8:44 PM by Blah blah

Coming soon...

Arrgh. Running around the last few days. No time to write. Possible upcoming topics:

- Worked more on that house in Los Gatos for Habitat for Humanity Silicon Valley. I helped them dig holes and lay the foundation for a deck. Talked more to the African family that will be living in it.
- Happy Hour for NAAAP SF last week. Met Pjammer, Christine, and a bunch of other cool people.
- Party at Patrick's new "manufactured house" last night. Fascinating topic.
- Miss Ginny Cheng sent me her pictures from her trip to Thailand. See lots of cute Taiwanese girl pics on her site. Sorry guys---they are all far away, yet many are single. I haven't seen Ginny since I took her to dinner in San Francisco.
- My Friendster friends list has grown like crazy. Friendster itself is growing at LEAST 1000 new people per day. I searched for some of my exes in the "User Search" but didn't find them. Hehe. I know---Friendster can be DANGEROUS.
- Some people, like Ginny, are big social connectors. I notice her friends list has a lot of accomplished, single girls, but mainly in Taipei. Here in the Bay Area, most of those types of girls would be taken. Says something about the supply and demand, no?
- The latest online issue of SAM magazine is coming out soon. Be patient. I'm working on it!

See? I NEVER run out of material for this blog. Never.