Posted 12:14 AM by Blah blah

Soulmate Calculator: Why I Will Never Meet Anyone (Relationships)

Tira mentioned this very cool site about soulmates. Tira is a fascinating woman, if you haven't read her yet. She's an "overpaid secretary surrounded by 'angry, perpetually stressed-out lawyers' while 'enjoying a normal, balanced, happy life' as an underworked musician." She, like Bich Ngoc (in our photo below), is in Washington, D.C. She's a "secretary/musician/activist," a single mom, has been on the radio, a Filipina, a Libra like me, and a very sensual lesbian. :D

(Tira, you might be interested in saying hi to Bich Ngoc. BN knows a lot of musicians and helps promote singers like Fisher. She's also a political activist.)

Tira writes way more juice than I, like some of the people she links. Like this girl Bunnie (aka Metrosexual)---whoo ee! HOT hot hot writing.

The soulmate site is SolveDating, with sections like The Soulmate Manifesto. I tried entering my preferences into the Soulmate Calculator, which "will calculate the number of American singles you must meet to find your soulmate. It uses the latest statistics from the U.S. Census and the National Center for Health Statistics."

My first, careless try shows I deserve a thousand lashes for my unrealistic pickiness, giving me a probability of 6.47211020769928E-08 for meeting my soulmate. It says I need to meet 15,450,911 American single females to have a decent chance.

If I give myself 3 years to do it, that means I must meet 14,110 American women/day, almost 10 women/minute. Taking a more realistic frequency, say meeting 1 woman every 2 weeks, it would take me 216 million days to meet all 15 million women. Or 593,000 years. By then I'd be a doddering 600,000 year-old idiot, slobbering more than Kirk Douglas, trying to hook up with the majority of single women, who tend to be below 25.

Reading the 2000 U.S. Census Bureau statistics on this site may be very depressing for you if you are very picky, like you want:

- a man six feet or taller (15% of the male population),
- a Korean (0.4% of the population),
- a Filipino (0.7%),
- a Chinese (0.9%),
- or a woman between 25-29 who's never been married (7%).

Believe it or not, pure Asians only make up 3.6% of the U.S. population, or 10.2 million people.

Which means if you want to increase your dating chances, you need to date: 1) white folks (75% of the U.S. population), 2) outside the U.S. (i.e. import from Asia), 3) divorced people with emotional baggage, 4) virtually and have cybersex, or 5) change your sexuality.

Sigh.