Posted 4:11 AM by Clementine

FQ


Last night, after having dinner with my dad, I had a super immature phone argument with one of my bestfriends, Rhome.


He called to ask me if I just couldn't say no that's why I agreed to watch a movie with him yesterday. I told him no, I actually had nothing else to do anyway since the afternoon class was cancelled and I was just waiting for transcriptions.


I thought so. Such a drama king.


Anyway, we were talking about non-sensitive issues like my first day of school, his gimmick with Roy on New Year, his rotation in Fe Del Mundo Hospital in Banawe (Fe del Mundo is the author of the local Pedia book, which seems like a concise version of Nelson's Pediatrics) when suddenly, the discussion took a nasty turn. I was in the middle of sharing something and he just lashed out and became his cynical self.


The verbal abuse that followed was unbelievable


I calmly told him that I realized a lot of things the past weeks. I made a lot of decisions, and one of them was that I will never let anyone make me feel bad about myself. Him included.


But he just wouldn't stop with his asinine comments.

The killer, "para kang bata, ang babaw ng kaligayahan mo." (you're such a kid, you're so shallow."


Is that so bad?


I knew the conversation was going nowhere, and I just wasn't in the mood to argue anymore, especially since my dad was within hearing distance, so I said goodnight and hung up.


He still wouldn't give up. He texted me, said that was so "mature" of me to hang up in the middle of a coversation, and that if I'd push through with, in his words, "changing myself" then I won't anymore be the Chel they know.


I replied. Told him I said goodnight because I didn't want to have that immature conversation. He got mad and said yeah, I was so mature, forgive him for being stuck in a time warp that he never grew up. I told him it was our conversation that was immature, not him, and that he shouldn't put words into my mouth.


His retort was, since I claim to be the logical one, then going by logic, the conversation was immature because he was immature.


I didn't want to argue anymore, and told him I was sorry if I hurt him, I just couldn't believe that my two bestfriends were thinking about me that way everytime I was sharing with them my happiness.


His reply was so darn immature it's not blog-worthy.


I admit I felt bad. I did. But I didn't want to let him affect me in a negative way. I didn't allow him to ruin my mood last night. Good thing my friend texted, told me to be happy, and kept me company. Thanks to you if you're reading this.


The thing is, at the start of the last quarter of 2002 I was so darn insecure. I had no self esteem to speak of, and it was a terrible, terrible life. Good thing I swam my way out of that, beautiful things happened, and I realized I deserve what I want, and there's no reason for me to bash myself.


I don't ever want to go through that again.


And that's what Rhome doesn't understand. I mean, okay maybe he's so used to showing his "love" for me in his own mean ways, but my not letting him affect me, well, that's new to him. That's maybe something he can't accept. That he doesn't anymore affect me the way he used to.


But it doesn't mean I love him, or Roy, any less.


No, I don't think it's the end of our friendship. I mean last year we went through something a hundred times worse than this and we got through that.


But whether he likes it or not, he has to accept that the girl he called childish last night is growing up.


Life is beautiful.