Posted 8:09 AM by Blah blah

Working with Someone You Dated

Pjammer and others brought up some excellent points yesterday about how tricky it is to date someone at work. How do you know if someone is really interested in you or just friendly, and how far may a guy (or girl) go without walking into the thorny bush of harassment? For good flirts like Unica Hija (not that she was flirting in this case!), Key, and I, what limits does that put on the fun of flirting? I don't mean that, because we may be good flirts outside of work, that we are trying to flirt at work. Of course people are focused first on their jobs.

It's funny that Pjammer's readers are so articulate and love to talk talk talk, but some of them barely looked at Tiger Cafe for the details. One person thought I, with my enthusiasm, was a "Filipina lawyer." Another is a feminist who said "I demand women put the water bottle on the cooler instead of asking for a guy to help. I demand that day care and maternity leave are not paid for by the company I work for." She finally ended her long talk by saying "Who the fuck is Raymond? :)"

Hahaha! I wish Tiger Cafe's readers would speak up more and leave more entertaining comments. :D

Once, I ended up working with someone I had very briefly dated. Here's the story:

I met her by chance, thought she was gorgeous, and got her number. The next day I asked her out and she said yes. We went out a few times, had dinner, studied together, etc. At that time she was looking to change jobs. She had been applying to different companies. Later when a job fell through, I offered to refer her to my company. She was called for an interview and guess what? She got the job.

At first, we were in different groups. She'd walk over to see me several times a day with questions. She was still that sexy and the guys definitely noticed. Most girls wore more ordinary clothes, but she'd wear dresses covered with leopard spots. I found myself becoming VERY businesslike and serious when I talked to her in the office. I was extra concerned about giving the impression we were more than friends or that I was flirting. I acted almost like a strict father.

Pretty soon after going out, we saw that we had little in common. It was hard to talk to her in much depth. We didn't really persue any relationship.

After a few months, we ended up working in the same group! We saw each other daily. By then, any initial infatuation had cooled off. We gradually drifted into "acquaintance" mode. She still wore those sexy dresses though.

So this could have been an especially tricky situation if we were still interested in each other and had to work together. But I wasn't, and I felt myself going overboard to act professionally and non-flirtatious and boring.

What about your stories? Mira?