Posted 8:54 AM by Blah blah

Sour Bob in Chicago is a 27-year-old guy in the process of getting divorced. I find him witty, eloquent, and touching. He's now on my reading list. He wrote:

I Am A Hell Of A Personal Ad

NOT YET DIVORCED MALE Paunchy, premature-gray, pasty white. Underemployed, financially unstable, potential problem drinker. Poor disposition, nakedly narcissistic self-pity streak. Seeking intelligent, sensitive female who won't mind that I'm still married to and in love with my first wife. Baseball fans preferred.

Ladies look out!

By Eleanor:

You know he/she is bad news...

...when your second date is basically a booty call.

...when you've been dating for a year and a half and you have yet to meet his parents whom he sees like every weekend.

...when you've been dating for a year and a half and you ask him to call you later, and he says "Why, what is there to talk about?"

...when you've been dating for a year and a half and you ask him if he wants to go out Friday night and he says, "I don't know what I'm doing yet Friday night."

...he tells you on your third or fourth date that he isn't looking for a relationship but you try to make it one anyway.

...when he tells you he is trained in Israeli hand combat and can kill another person with his bare hands.

(or so I've heard.)

Moment of Zen
By Mary:

You know, it's sad to watch a relationship deteriorate before your eyes but not be able to let go of it, to keep hoping some great miracle will occur because you both want it to work out so much. Opposites may attract, but there's something to be said for having things in common.

Bad signs:
1. He never laughs at your jokes (i.e. you're actually funny, too)
2. You cannot find any common ground in one of the following: movies/tv/music/restaurants/interests
3. You hug, but never kiss.
4. The common silence between you is not a comfortable one.
5. You don't know his friends, but you're pretty sure if you did, you'd hate them.
6. He knows your friends and your friends hate him/think he's a tool.

Don't let this happen to you. Don't think it can't. Be on the alert, friend, or you too will be in a loveless relationship that you're not sure you want out of; some might call this laziness, but I prefer convenience enthusiast.

P.S. Sour Bob advises me to find a nice, cool Texas boy to move on to. I have a nice, cool Texas boy, but you see the issues above still apply. Also, I'm not convinced there's a ready supply. Pity.