Posted 5:55 PM by DUH

My response:

I'd like to thank everyone who posted their support and advice. They were highly appreciated.

Let me make things clear. I posted that experience of mine 'cause it was such a shock to me. I was caught flatfooted, to say the least, and I was a bumbling fool the entire time. I didn't know what to do because I knew the guy well enough to know his good side. He is not entirely a jerk, but the fact that he made the advances within a professional mode jarred me and made me feel extremely uncomfortable. His advances were highly unwelcome. The fact that I responded to his kiss was just a physical knee jerk reaction--much like an unwanted erection would be with a guy I suppose. I am, after all, a healthy, sexual female. Am not a lifeless log!

Initially, I wanted to know what people's opinions were about the issue so I made that post. I didn't know what to do at that moment because God, I had no past experiences to draw from!

I'd like to put on record that as a rule, I avoid office romances, no matter how irresistible. I have never had one because I've seen such relationships complicate--even ruin-- people's careers too much to indulge in one. I value my career that much.

I agree with some of you people out there who say this situation is not really a clear-cut sexual harassment case. It's not that simple. First, r and I dated before we started working together. We never had a committed relationship thought it was apparent we had some degree of liking for each other at the time we were dating. But I didn't like him enough to go on and bring the relationship to the next level. I'd like to stress that we had no professional ties whatsoever when we were still dating. The dates stopped naturally, we drifted apart and I went on dating other men until I finally reconciled with my ex-boyfriend (now my boyfriend).

Then came this business oppportunity which came about to a large extent because of his help. And because of this, I was extremely grateful and appreciative of his efforts. I am very fond of this guy and I consider him a very, very good friend. He is, to a large extent, a very decent person--and I know this for a fact. He has shown me enough goodness for me not to judge him harshly. If it were another guy, I think, I would have responded with a slap on his face, or even a kick to his groin.

I don't think I'd like to mess things up right now by filing a case. The consequences will be too difficult for me to handle. My decision, as of this moment, is to talk to him personally the next time we meet and tell him I would appreciate if he didn't do anything like that in the next few months of the project. Knowing him, I know he would stop his advances. And for good measure, I would try to avoid putting myself into situations that would make it easy for him to do that again.

I know I am disappointing a lot of people with this response. But that's my take on what happened. Again, thanks everyone.