Posted 4:15 PM by Anonymous

It has begun to occur to me, without having actually observed Raymond in a mating-ritual environment and only going on the information from the stories and essays that he writes here, that he may be suffering from nice-guy syndrome (NGS). NGS sufferers are liable to hear the following phrases from women in whom they're interested: "I'm so glad I can talk to you about everything." "You're like a brother to me." "Hey, let's go to the ballet sometime."

A friend of mine, A, who suffers from NGS had recently gotten the number of B, an attractive young woman, after chatting her up at an art opening of a mutual friend, and when A actually called B up to ask her out to dinner, she called another friend, C, who in turn called me, since I introduced A to this crowd in the first place. C told me B thought A was gay (i.e., someone she could talk to easily without wondering whether he was thinking about getting into her pants).

Now, not all sufferers of NGS are mistaken for gay men (my friend A, however, is more likely than most, as he works for a gay Web site), but a good number are. I, myself a former NGS sufferer, have been mistakenly thought to be gay, but then, I often wear a t-shirt that advertises "The Joy of Gay Sex." (It's a play, and I designed the poster. Ask me to tell you sometime about the time I ran into a bunch of people on BART who were on their way back from a Promise Keepers rally.)

Anyway, it is possible that our Raymond may be suffering from NGS, and we, as Tiger Cafe readers and cowriters, must make it our duty to rid Raymond of this debilitating dating disease. I overcame mine partially by becoming more outgoing and forthright about sexuality, which can often take conversations out of safe zones and into places that can be much more interesting. This may not be Raymond's path, but we must help him find his own path out of this murky swamp called Nice-Guy Syndrome.

[What's wrong with Nice Guys? from Heartless Bitches International---Raymond]