Posted 11:40 AM by Blah blah

Internet Marriage

And now for something completely different...

We had Sophia, then Johnny, and now...

Jason (of Complete Square) just proposed "Internet Marriage" to Sarah (of Que Sera Sera)!

They plan to register at the Internet registry, then have lots of cybersex and dancing babies (animated GIF).

Ismat: "OK, we all know how perfect it is...but my question is this...is there something we should know? Like, did Jason propose because he had to? I'm trying to be delicate, but you know, I've never been good at that: Is there a little 'Que Sera Squared' already on the way?...Come on, Sarah, you can tell. Just between friends."

Jason: "to be honest, we are saving ourselves for our wedding night. it is just like the weddings in that one book, um, what is it called? oh yeah, the bible... i haven't even seen her, we have never held hands, and my dad had to give her dad four lot of goat and his largest oxen as her bride price. but rumor has it i can impregnate one with my words."

Ulesim: "Will there be entertainment? MC Hammer, perhaps? Or the delightful Dolly Parton. She would be great, hmm. Wonderful."

Jason: "this is an internet wedding. so the entertainment will be pirates, ninjas, heavy metal kittens, and fat chicks with party hats."


Have you noticed?

Some of the most popular online journallers are still SINGLE? As far as I know, the list within my circle includes:

Amabelle, Christina, Christine, Eric, Ernie, Felicia, Key, Min Jung, Miyu, Pjammer, Rasee, Sarah B., Sarah Hatter, Susan, and...um...me.

(Let me know if you're off the market.)

It's proof that in terms of finding good dates, being Internet popular means less than a heap of dirty socks. Christine set up this matchmaking forum last year for her and several of her girlfriends. She abandoned it with zero success. Ginny told me what happened when they met that one guy who actually visited Taipei. Sorry, it's private. Even Mr. Popularity himself, Ernie, tried posting a personal ad a while back!

Here's the truth: we stay single for YOU, the readers! Purely for your entertainment. It's like Friends. Once Rachel had the baby, and once Monica and Chandler hooked up, things started to go downhill. No more embarrassing rejections. No more psycho dating stories (like that girl who wanted to borrow my car). Think about what we are sacrificing for YOU the next time you click on us.

This celibacy is worse than the priesthood, because it's celibacy in front of thousands of people worldwide per week.