Posted 9:57 PM by Blah blah

Have a slight fever. Am not feeling myself recently. My right shoulder and elbow still hurt, though not as much as yesterday. Arrgh.

Another thing I dislike: VERY shy girls. Timid girls. Passive girls who usually wait for the guy to make the first move. Double arrgh. Slightly shy is fine---I can deal with that. Usually my shy friends DON'T act shy with me. They will usually be acting loud and crazily with me, then later say: "By the way, I'm shy. I usually don't talk to strangers." Those kinds of girls---ones who are shy with strangers but NOT shy with me---I can work with them.

But those who are insecure and can't show some guts when they talk to or deal with me, no thanks. I dated someone like that from Singapore once. Total disaster.
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10/16 Followup Whew! Feel better today, with less of a headache. Whoa, so many people responded. Before I turn off half of the people reading this blog, let me explain.

To Kiki:

I'm being honest. It's tremendously frustrating to have to pull actions and words from very shy girls. I've dealt with a lot of girls like that and get fed up.

To Rasee:

Friends are different from dating. I don't think you're timid when you talk to people and express yourself. You talk a tremendous amount online. You sing in a MUSICAL, for heaven's sake. You interview people for a magazine. You teach! All non-shy activities.

I'm talking about people who lack much self-confidence. Who never speak up. Your kind of shy is the first type I mentioned. By nature you are introverted, which is great for writing your lyrical poetry, for your perceptive insights. When I write I'm in a more introverted mood too.

In college I had a lot of friends from Japan, and you know Japan has some of the shiest people on earth. But they felt comfortable opening up to me and didn't act that shy in my view. I HAVE several shy friends and get along well with shy people. I try to support and encourage them. And slight shyness---coyness---is attractive. Moderate shyness is attractive.

I have a problem with brazen girls, ENTJ bossy girls, or girls who are totally in-your-face. That's too much the other direction.

To Corine:

I understand most Asian girls are shier. My problem is AFTER that getting-to-know you stage is over. If they still act very tentative, very reluctant to talk, don't return emails, don't return phone calls, etc---that annoys me. I can be VERY patient, waiting for a girl. In the past, I've waited YEARS. Yeah, years. Not usually, but I could be that way. Everyone has his limits.

To Thea:

Good for you that you are arranging a social meeting! That's a first step out of the biology lab. Remember we talked before about this? I'm a guy who loves good conversation. Give and take. Feedback. A woman with her own opinions. If I hear nothing back, that's not my type.

To "intractable" Belle:

Great poem on virginity, by the way! I enjoyed it. Yes, you seem very traditional Filipina. Good that you are not timid. There's a difference between timidity and shyness, and I'd say timidity (e.g. being fearful of many things) is worse to me.

On making the first move, I am perfectly comfortable with me doing that. I'm the type of person who prefers to talk on the phone rather than chat or email. I don't mind doing most of the calling, and I tend to do that anyway. I'm talking about AFTER the initial ice is broken, after we already know each other. If she never calls you first. Never writes first. Always waits for the guy to initiate. Doesn't have ideas for things to do when we go out. No thanks. I like someone more aggressive, with courage.

To spunky Mira:

Haha! You be funny yourself! :D I don't think of you as shy. I think you have a lot of passion bubbling underneath. So acting shy for you is a way to tell a guy "you don't have a chance"? "A bee to honey"...you must strike fast, like a cobra. Boy, I'd like to see a video of that!

Some other stuff I wrote about shyness:

- I must be a soft pillow for shy people
- Advantages of being shy