Posted 10:29 AM by Blah blah

Just had a delightful talk with my friend Ellen this morning. She just got back from several weeks of touring Europe. My new nickname for her is "Sweet Tomatoes" (or "Potatoes," depending on the season.) If you are her boyfriend reading this...uhhh...that wasn't me. It was my evil twin! *Slap* Bad boy!

Really, Sweet Tomatoes IS very sweet and funny. She is good at talking nonsense and making it sound important, a skill which I too share. What do you think you've been reading here all year? She studied broadcasting and wants to break into radio. Mira, go say say hi to her!

A sample of how we talk:

E: hihihihi!
R: hey, i've seen a lot of girls say "hihihihi"
R: where does that come from?
E: hmmmm
R: what's the etymological origin?
E: i guess it seems to be a more feminine way of laughing, maybe?
R: the mountain peoples of kazdoom?
R: but you never SAY "hihihihi" on the phone
E: it actually comes from the latin word hierus
E: which means to laugh daintily
R: Ohhhhhhh...perfesser
E: over the centuries, it has beenshortened to hihihi
E: ;)
R: Perfesser Sweet Tomatoes
E: lol
R: See...that's new to me
E: so now you know
R: I thought "hihihihi" meant Yesyesyesyes
E: and knowing is half the battle
E: ..gi joe
E: haha nope
R: but now you tell me it means "hahahaha"
R: i thought it meant "haha" (only 2 ha's)
E: no, hahaha is how i'm really laughingrightnow
E: lol
R: boy...i'm glad that's cleared up!
E: yeah
E: that's your lesson for today

What's with my obsession with Conan O'Brien? I feel this compulsion to sic his twisted humor on you. Here's a really in-depth profile of Conan and his new wife Liza Powel.

Here are two Conan interviews from his TV show, both actresses. I used to date a girl who looks like Claire Danes. She was in Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio. And Liv Tyler played Arwen, Aragorn's love interest in The Lord of the Rings.

Claire Danes visits the Playboy Mansion

Conan (C): How are you?
Claire Danes (D): I'm all right...
C: Well, it's nice to see you..
D: Nice to see you. It's a pleasure to be here.
C: Well, thank you. I think you mean that.
D: I do, I do!
C: Great. I was just in Los Angeles, actually Andy and I were both in Los Angeles doing some stuff last week. And I got this invitation to go to the Playboy mansion one night.
D: But I didn't see you there.
C: Well, because I couldn't go, I was working that night and I was leaving so I couldn't go...
D: You have to make a point of going.
C: You went, right?
D: Oh my gosh. I went kind of I went. I brought my friend Miya from school and I was with my boyfriend, and I called Scott who my friend who directed Mod Squad wondering if you wanted to go to dinner and he said he's going to Hugh Hefner's house and so I was totally inspired. So I brought my innocent Miya to the Playboy mansion...
C: I have read about the Playboy mansion since I was like ten years old, dreamed about the Playboy mansion. I'm still dreaming about the Playboy mansion right now I'm speaking to you. You went! Tell us all because we haven't been there. What was it like?
D: It's Xanadu, totally. Like it's the most fascinating place. But it's surprisingly non threatening, it was sort of like sex Disneyland?
C: (burst into laugh) The best kind of Disneyland!! (very cheerfully) Yay! I like this! I imagine it's like a topless hall of the president.
D: Well, it was kind of a cliche, but totally satisfying, like there was Hugh and his red robe and pipe...
C: He really does that?
D: Yeah and many many bottoms. It was great.
C: Not real women just ceramic bottoms that he has around for his amusement.
D: They were real. Believe me, I think.
C: So there women walking around wearing what?
D: Ah, you know roller skates nothing. Ah, some were wet, some were dry, so to speak. (sudden laugh from the audience) But no I mean it was really great there was like a game room.... that was my favorite part.
C: What's in the game room?
D: Well, it was exciting like... I mean it's totally second 1983 but there was Pacman, and Frogger... there was a pinball machine that had you know Hugh's image splashed all of it.
C: Did any one tell you that no one plays Pacman anymore?
D: I was enjoying it. I was good at... you know informed him that it was... but scared of Nintendo.
C: I remember when I was kid reading about James Karn and James Karn apparently has the record, I'm gonna get sued now for like slandering him or beaten senseless I hope the latter. James Karn has the record for sleeping with like the most consecutive Playboy bunnies that he would always be there. You didn't see James Karn.
D: I saw him there. He was in like the backgammon room. He was there in fine form...He was playing backgammon with his son and they were having a really intense conversation about bant cake, I remember.
C: What?
D: And I was really thrilled. I don't know. They were just taking about bant cake.
C: That is such a let down. It is like "You saw James Karn what was he doing, what was he talking about? Discussing bant cake with his son." What a drag.
Andy: What was he saying?
D: I don't know I think he was telling a joke....I don't know. All I caught was bant cake, I was like you know...
C: And you said I 'm getting out of here. Is it fun though at the end of the day did you have a good time?
D: Yeah, totally. I met Oscar De La Foiyo which is a total thrill and...
C: What was he doing there, just hanging out?
D: He was hanging out with his wife who was pregnant, and was very beautiful and he was fell in love...
C: I think that's an odd thing to take your pregnant wife, saying "Let's go check out the chicks at the Playboy mansion!"
D: I know it's a little strange but they seem very comfortable and I was very happy to meet him.
C: Ah, you also, you met a hero of yours recently.
D: I did indeed. Deborah Harry, my total heroine. And so while ago we actually a little while ago we went to a nsm club...
C: You tell great stories, by the way. You do not dissapoint every single story. It's really "I heard you went to buy a cookie the other day. Yes, I did and on my way I saw a stripper."
D: We did and it was vinyl night, you are only let to wear vinyl. But because you were with Debby who's like the queen of that world it was ok. But it was really exciting. John Horn's son was on the stage
C: Famous porn actor.
D: Famous porn actor,you know, Bogey nights that's lead character was based on him. But he was just sitting on the stage, actually standing, reading newspaper and fondling his penis. Very peculiar...
C: Is that part of the entertainment or is he killing time? I mean, "I think I'll just check out the sports page and take care of little business." What's going on? (wild applause from the audience) I was just curious. I've never been to one of these clubs.
D: All he does is performance act. And it was great I was like dancing and glancing at this peculious scene on stage.
C: (Sarcastically) Glancing. "Interesting! (imitates dancing and glancing)"
D: There was a cage where like audience member could.. well it's not, it was a club it's not receded or anything but different people in the audience could stand and transsexual would attack you.
C: Wait. It's as part of the, you can get into the cage if you want. And people would attack you? Are they in the cage with you, or do they poke you like through the cage?
D:You know, make fun of you and call your names and....
C: I would like that, actually.
D: Yeah, I was for with the idea of jumping in myself, but I decided to abstain.
C: Now how do you leave a party like that?
D: Well, I was kind of tired actually and it was overwhelming so I said to Debby I was like you know I think I better go I think this is so much, this is great experience. And she was like "No, Claire you can't go. They haven't had sex yet on stage." I was like "what?" you know, they were not even fully naked, they haven't you know not nearly closed to having intercourse.
C: Ah, you went to a Marylin Manson concert recently. I'm getting all my favorite topics done here but I understand you were at the concert where he got hurt which everyone's talking about.
D: It was pretty bizarre. Kind of amazing. It actually was sweet because where I was sitting I could see Rose Magazine, his girl friend.
C: Wait, I wanna here how this is sweet!
D: I think, I guess he is surprisingly normal fella.
C: You mean he gets out of his system on stage but the rest of time?
D: There was something, I don't know. But Rose Magazine was like clearly infatuated with him and he was so aggressive and confrontational when he was singing to the audience and he would sneak at few peeks at Rose and they would have this little, you know, sweet exchange and his face was sort of melt, and I was getting this great perspective of the scene, it was hilarious.
C: That is so weird to think him like, you know,sticking his tongue (imitating Manson)and turning to his girlfriend like (throwing kisses)"I'll be home a little late. Feed the cat."
D: It was very much like that.
C: But he got hurt on...
D: Well, yeah, I mean, he jumped on the speaker and jumped off and he's wearing five feet, five foot platform and he just tripped sprained his ankle, that was the end of the show. It was such a, you know, a let-down. I mean, I was ready for an overdose or something, but he was just tripped and fell. Manson just got a boo-boo.
C: And then they come on the loud speaker "The show has been canceled Marylin Manson has a boo-boo!"
D: I thought like he should've really been hard-core like sung in a wheel chair something, finish the show.
C: He just said I'm screwed I'm out of here.
D: Yeah, he was done.

Liv Tyler

Conan (C): You are very tall!
Liv Tyler (L): You are very tall.
C: Oh, no, you are tall! 45 minutes later..."You are tall." How tall are you exactly?
L: 5' 10" but I have enormous shoes on.
C: Giant shoes. When I wear heels I'm like 7 feet tall. Were you always told that you would get tall? Did you get tall young? I'm curious about it because I developed, I was a late bloomer, I hit puberty like 26, it's just....
L: (asking Andy) What about you?
Andy: Yeah, about the same time. I was waiting for him, just to be polite.
L: I wasn't born this tall.
C: Seriously?
L: I've been a beast pretty much in my whole life.
C: A beast? Is that what you said?
L: I found a picture of me when I was a kid recently, it's school, I was in like 4th grade and all of my friends came up to like about here (showing comparison of her and her friends used to be)
C: So you were that big. That's hard. That's very hard for a woman that grows that tall that quickly, you know.
L: I was really strong and hyperactive and I was kind of proud of it.
C: So you were just tossing the other kids around in gym class.
L: I was the best tire swing pusher. I was really good at pushing tire swings.
C: You know it's really weird, I've met your dad, Steven Tyler, Aerosmith fame. He is about your height, he looks a lot like you and everything. Is he about the same height as you?
L: He is like about half an inch shorter than me. My mom and overall we're all about the same.
C: Right. You could wear his cloths, couldn't you? Couldn't you do that?
L: We do. We share cloths all the time.
C: Do you really? Seriously?
L: He had a fire a few years ago and they keep adding on the house and they built this massive closet for him, it's like as big as this whole room practically. And there's rocks and rocks of stuff and we always have big fashion shows.
C: That's a nice father-daughter thing. "I like your feather bower dad!" "It looks good on you kid." He got scarves, he got...
L: In Armageddon video, he wore a coat made of human hair.
C: (laughing) What! I didn't know who's made it. Let's talk about this! "He's a serial killer! They've been looking for him" You are, I saw you in the audience at the Oscars. Now, what was that like, because most of us were watching it on TV.
L: It's pretty intense. I think there is something so thrilling being at home and making back from the commercial break.
C: Or else to starting to tune out for 40 minutes if it's not holding your attention. And going and cutting origami or something? You had to be in the audience the whole time. What was that like?
L: It's pretty deadly, you can only move during commercial breaks so you are sort of stuck there and the really funny thing happened where I came back from doing my presentation and this guy was sitting in my seat and I was like "Excuse me. Can you get up?" and he wouldn't get up and he kicked my boyfriend out of the seat for like an hour and half I was stuck there alone.
C: Who is this guy?
L: Actually it wasn't his fault, and in the end but there were fillers so somebody gets up there someone that comes in and sit. So she's been like hiding out the whole time and didn't tell anybody but it was a big drama.
C: I would think if you are a celebrity and you have a seat at the Oscars, it's weird go to the bathroom and come back a guy sitting there. "Hi, I'm Liv Tyler, that's my seat." "I don't care! Get lost! I'm not leaving."
L: If the New Yorker of me came out, I must have started a fight with them.
C: That would have picked up the whole show. They cut to the audience "Liv Tyler is beating a man to death!" with her shoe, that would be kind of fun. Armageddon. This is an unprecedented movie, it costs something like a hundred and forty million dollars.
L: Pretty extravagant.
C: And I'm thinking one thing. THIS show has a budget of, I think we spend 200 dollars a week. Did we send a school bus to pick you up? We rented out from a public high school. We have like sugar cookies and we think that's really swank. A hundred and forty million dollar budget, what kind of stuff, on the movie set what kind food do they serve on a hundred and forty million dollar movie?
L: They have everything you could ever dream of, like ten thousand doughnuts and they have ...
C: What a waste of money! Bring in the doughnuts! [Acts as if forklift is coming in and unloading the doughnuts.]
L: You could shoot a film with the amount of money they spent on club service on the film.
C: I would think so, yeah.
L: They have like a sushi bar, a pasta bar, a barbecue happening...they have unbelievable things.
C: I noticed Bruce Willis is chewing throughout most of the movie. He is like [with chewing impression] "Yeah, I'll get that asteroid! Damn coming right now." Ah, now, Cookie's Fortune is a very different kind of movie. That was of course a big epic. This is a movie that has a great cast. You shot this in...
L: Harryspring in Mississippi, a really small town. It was June, it was very hot.
C: That gets miserably hot, doesn't it?
L: It was unbelievable. We had to keep these rugs and cooler all the time to sort of like you know, recycled rug to keep everybody cool. I actually had a little bit of an accident where...It was my first day of shooting, I wasn't nervous at all, everything was going really well, I knew everybody, I felt like I had been there for years. I went to the set and I was standing there getting ready, work with Gren Cross and Julian Mullen, started getting really hot and started like fanning myself and I was like "Well, I'm kind of nervous. I've never been this nervous before!" I realized I had to leave the room because I couldn't go out and do the scene, and I turned around and I fainted on top of this guy.
C: Now known as the luckiest man in Mississippi. Did he catch you?
L: Yeah, he was like [making happy face] He told me what happened because I didn't even know what's going on, I was sort of conscious, and medic came over and he intervened us to give me Gatorade. I was so embarrassed.
C: That's not a good medic. "Don't panic! Lime Gatorade is being pumped into your aorta."
L: But I was so embarrassed. I wasn't nervous, I just had a heat stroke.
C: You know what's weird is that a lot of guys fantasize that a really attractive woman will faint and they'll catch them, and just as they are waking up he says "Don't worry. I caught you. I love you." That didn't happen, did it?
L: I don't know.
C: Ok, you can talk about that later.