Posted 1:01 PM by Anonymous

I appreciated what Sylvia had to say, as I, too, was a bit bothered by the "(in a good way)" qualification for a certain form of feminism. Feminism has taken a lot of forms throughout recent history (the last fifty years or so), and I would argue that each has been valid and necessary. The most recent development, what's called third-wave feminism, has given women a lot of freedom as many more young women have grown up in an age marked by a growing societal recognition of women as smart, strong, and entitled to determine whatever paths in life they want to take.

However you might feel about previous generations of feminists, who tended to be regarded by the larger American (at least -- I don't know other countries' cultures well enough to comment) society as humorless and/or man-hating, we wouldn't be where we are now without them. Thanks to the activism of past feminist waves, women have more choices now, especially as to how to define "equality." To some people, equality means absolutely no difference between genders, so that there's no chance of imbalances of power. To others, it means a balance where both differences and similarities are enjoyed, and overall the relationships between women and men are based on mutual self-respect, honest and open communication, and a dedication to eliminate imbalances of power. In my relationship, for example, Sarah and I both feel that there will be times when one of us will need more from the other, and that will shift over time. In those times, each of us will have to be stronger for the other, but still, it doesn't mean that power (as such) shifts, just that each of us takes turns taking care of each other. Most of the time, though, we're on an equal footing.

In terms of femininity, I see it as referring to external things such as clothes or makeup that emphasizes ways that women are different from men. We are now in an age when women feel freer to wear more form-fitting clothing that highlights their curves, and it doesn't diminish their self-image as feminists. (I can't say I don't have certain involuntary positive responses to certain things Sarah wears, and she's been a hardcore, activist feminist for many years. On the same hand, I shave only for Sarah's benefit, and sometimes I wear things just because I know she likes to see me in them. Tit for tat, you know.)

It should be noted, though, that there are still a lot of women who don't choose to wear feminine clothes. Among many reasons, one is that many women see mainstream media as objectifying women in the images it favors. The fashion industry frequently plays on people's weaknesses and try to make them feel bad about themselves because they don't look "good enough." Another is that many women don't want the kind of attention a lot of asshole men will give them if they wear revealing clothes. Unfortunately, we still live in a society where that's a valid and necessary feminist response. We have a long way to go.

One final note is that there's also a form of feminism that focuses on unique aspects of womanhood that go deeper than outward appearances. This is more about creating protected spaces where women can communicate with each other, or even with themselves, openly, celebrating different parts of womanhood or examining how they're functioning in a society that is still largely dominated by men, or what their relationships are like, or any other number of topics. (I haven't yet created such a space in my life for male things, though Sarah and I are talking about finding ways for me to do that -- a lot of traditionally "male" ways of bonding just don't interest me. I'm really more of an honorary dyke, I think. So much for the male perspective, Raymond!)

That's it for now, though I'm sure I'll have more to say in future posts. Great discussion, though!