Posted 8:20 PM by Blah blah

Happiness

Take my happiness test.

The Science of Happiness (Newsweek):

Lesson one is that mood and temperament have a large genetic component....A second lesson is that our circumstances in life have precious little to do with the satisfaction we experience. Married church-goers tend to outscore single nonbelievers in happiness surveys, but health, wealth, good looks and status have astonishingly little effect on what the researchers call "subjective well-being."...But "authentic happiness," as Seligman defines it, is not about maximizing utility or managing our moods. It’s about outgrowing our obsessive concern with how we feel. Life in the upper half of one’s set range may be pleasant, but is it productive or meaningful? Does it stand for anything beyond itself? These questions push the boundaries of a psychologist’s traditional turf, but Seligman tackles them with refreshing clarity. Beyond pleasure lies what he terms “gratification,” the enduring fulfillment that comes from developing one’s strengths and putting them to positive use. Half of us may lack the genes for bubbly good cheer, he reasons, but no one lacks nascent strengths or the capacity to nurture them.

How to See the Glass Half Full (Newsweek):

For most people, lasting satisfaction comes not from money, status or fleeting pleasure but from rising to the challenges of love, work and raising children. From Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment:

I. KEEP YOUR ILLUSIONS
When you’re falling in love, it’s easy to fixate on your new partner’s strengths and ignore obvious faults. Perceptions change over time, however, even in strong relationships. What struck you as kindness may start to resemble soft-headedness. Integrity may morph into stubbornness, steadfastness into stodginess. How do happy couples avoid disillusionment? You might guess they assess each other coolly from the start, sparing themselves false expectations. Recent research suggests just the opposite. The key to lasting love, it seems, is not to avoid romantic illusions but to sustain them....

In Murray’s studies, the happiest couples are not the most realistic but rather the most positive. Instead of confirming their friends’ frank assessments, these people idealize their partners, blithely predicting that their relationships will withstand hard times. As it turns out, they really do fare better when trouble strikes. The larger the romantic illusion, the better the odds. How can that be? People who idealize their mates may be quicker to forgive small transgressions. And people who are idolized may try harder to please their partners.

II. TURN WORK INTO PLAY [I wrote about viewing work as a craft last year.]

How do you frame work in relation to the rest of life? Scholars distinguish three kinds of “work orientation”: a job, a career and a calling. You do a job for the paycheck at the end of the week, and when the wage stops, you quit. A career entails a deeper personal investment in work. You mark your achievements through money, prestige and power, and you move on when the promotions stop. Unlike a job or a career, a calling is a passionate commitment to work for its own sake. The effort you expend becomes its own reward, regardless of the money or status it brings. People with callings are consistently happier than those with mere jobs or careers. And if you think callings are only for artists and healers, think again. Recent studies suggest that any line of work can rise to that level.

In one seminal study, researchers led by Amy Wrzesniewski of New York University studied 28 hospital cleaners. Some viewed their work as drudgery, but others had found ways to make it meaningful. The cleaners with a calling believed strongly that they were helping patients get better, and they approached their work accordingly. They timed themselves for efficiency. They prided themselves on anticipating the doctors’ and nurses’ needs. And they took interest in brightening the patients’ days, whether by rearranging furniture or decorating the walls. Researchers have seen the same phenomenon among secretaries, engineers, nurses, kitchen workers and haircutters. The key to contentment, their studies suggest, is not getting the perfect job but finding one you can make perfect (or at least better) through the use of your own strengths.

Part of what turns a job into a calling is the state known as flow. My colleague Mihaly Csikszent-mihalyi (Mike for short) defines flow as complete absorption in an activity whose challenges mesh perfectly with your abilities. Flow is not the pleasure you derive from a warm shower or a cold beer but the loss of self-consciousness you experience while engrossed in a task that calls on your strengths. People who experience it are not only happier but more productive, for they stop thanking God that it’s Friday....

III. TEACH KIDS TO THRIVE

[He says to share your bed with your baby, increasing his sense of security and personal interaction.]