Posted 4:59 AM by Anonymous

The Boy I have feelings for, who I respect and admire very much, confessed to some unpleasant truths today. It was a story I had heard from a friend, but did not want to rush to conclusions without hearing from the Boy. Apparently those stories are true. I am glad he was honest with me because it means I can trust him, but it doesn't change the fact that he did something I don't approve of. As people we tend to judge those we love more harshly than strangers because we don't expect ourselves to love people who screw up a lot. And then we are faced with the reality that those we love can make some of the worst mistakes, things that we are very much against, and we have to decide how to react. There was a lot of disappointment in my heart when I read the e-mail the Boy sent me, though I admired his honesty. It meant that our relationship is as important to him as it is to me, and that is always good to know. But it doesn't change the fact that he did something he probably should not have done. It isn't my place to forgive him and still I feel like I have to do just that.

It's a common misconception that we view those we love through rose-colored glasses, seeing only the best in them while ignoring all their flaws. It's just the opposite for me. I look harder for flaws in those I love because I haven't quite gotten my heart to believe in "nice guys" yet. I expect to be lied to. I expect to be screwed over. I expect for things to go wrong. When I meet someone that is funny and kind and gentle, I dissect his every word and every movement for signs that he will end up breaking my heart. If the Boy had lied to me I would have cried for a while, then shrugged it off and moved on because that's what I'm used to. His honesty left me stunned.

We are hard on those we love because the people we love tell us more about who we are than anything else. If you want to get to know someone, ask them about the people they love. Their replies will tell you the world about their character.