Posted 4:27 PM by Blah blah

Knowing What You Want (Relationships)

From Edie's blog:

"Why are women condemned for knowing what it is they do and don't like?

I can usually tell after 2 or 3 dates if a guy and I are compatible, before it gets to the stage of having to 'work on' each other. Nice boy, bad boy, it goes so much deeper than that. We all compromise to some degree, we're all grown ups who realize there is no 'perfect' person out there waiting for us. However, wouldn't it be nice to find someone who makes us feel comfortable?
-Cara

[I say the same thing for men knowing what they want.]
...
Now, there's 2 sides to a relationship: on the one hand, love does take work, and it's not effortless and easy. I've been married for nearly 2 years, and trust me, I know it takes work.

However, there is a difference between making things work because there is a lot of good there that you want to keep, and making things work simply because you feel like you have to, perhaps to avoid seeming shallow.

In the first flush of love, little things don't seem as big a deal; later on, they become the things that annoy you the most. And "dealing with them" isn't always the solution. People are who they are. If Edie wants someone more demonstrative, and this person isn't, and can't be because that's not who he is, it will make for a very long and possibly painful relationship as she continually asks for what he can't give. It doesn't hurt to ask, but be prepared to either accept the status quo or move on.
- Michalita"

Poem

THEIR SEX LIFE, by A.R. Ammons

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