Posted 10:25 AM by Blah blah

Wanted: WIT and HUMOR. Am I More "European"? (Personal)

My friend Lisa couldn't sleep and called me last night. She is so CHEEKY, yet at the same time inspiring.

She is sharp, funny, and slightly naughty when she talks. "It's British humor, love," she says. "We get bawdy. Look at my mom! If we're watching a sex scene on TV, my mom will shout 'GET IN THERE, LOVE. Give 'er one from us! Atta boy...!' My mom was a wild child."

She's shameless, egoless, and enjoys poking fun at herself. I love that in a person. Mira can be like this too, whenever we talk.

By the way, Lisa's doctor agreed with my suggestion for her to try hot pepper (capsaicin) cream on her foot pain. Believe it or not, he didn't have any new ideas! She'll try to get it from the drugstore today. I'm amazed more doctors don't know about the pain-relieving properties of hot peppers. Instead, she's gonna rely on a suggestion from me, someone who heard about it on a TV science show.

Lisa has won the Oxford prize (where she got A's in law classes), worked in Soho, London, been a barmaid, done standup comedy, modelled lingerie, been a TV host, worked four jobs at once, been a yoga teacher, borne two kids, and basically been there and done that. Says she's well-known back in her hometown in W. Sussex, England. She'd get into nightclubs for free and have everyone up dancing.

Deep into our conversation, I said: "Half an hour ago, you were talking like a barmaid and potential stripping teacher. Now you speak like Mother Teresa." Versatile, that one.

She's the fourth European woman to tell me I have a more European way of thinking and outlook on life. The others who said this were Italian, French, and German. "What do you mean by 'European'?" I said. "I've only been in Europe three weeks."

"I think it's just your attitude and the people you tend to surround yourself with. You are very broad-minded and open to new ideas and philosophies."

"Isn't that supposed to be an 'American' trait?" I said. Benjamin Franklin is one of my idols, after all.

"Nope. Americans tend to be very centered around the USA and forget there is a world out there. Americans are typically known for this outside of the States. You're different. You're cosmopolitan."

I dated an Italian girl who told me that too. She had competed in the Miss Italy beauty pageant when she was 19. She was also a scientist who wore Ralph Lauren. I enjoyed teaching her to use chopsticks at Chinese restaurants.

Ah, European girls. Sigh...

Lisa and I tend to find the average person here in San Jose mind-numbingly conventional. Not that the suburban life is a bad life. It just needs spice, wit, and risk-taking. All of which big city people tend to have more of in spades. I'm sure I get more readers of this blog from New York, Washington DC, and San Francisco than from San Jose.

San Jose is bigger (physically and in population) than San Francisco, yet many people here have the provincialism of Des Moines, Iowa. That gives fuel to all those declarations of San Jose having no "heart," no "soul," compared to San Francisco.

Ah well. At least the food and rent are cheaper, and it's much easier to find parking. And if you ever have a computer question, just go up to any two guys at Fry's Electronics who are wearing Microsoft .NET T-shirts.

RESOLVED: I need to find me a witty girl. I know too few girls who actually make me laugh, who can tell good funny stories. Usually it's I who make THEM laugh. No women engineers. Pleeez. No. More. And no accountants.

Some of the pretty ones are so used to guys falling all over them that they see no need to plan something to say before they speak. They look like Zhang Ziyi but talk like Bart Simpson. Or your corner Sunday school teacher.

Boring.

Any more witty, cheeky girls around?