Posted 11:30 PM by Blah blah

Why So Impersonal? Filipino Chat with Ellen

I don't want to be a warblogger. The warbloggers rule the blogging world now, more than the geek bloggers. The most popular ones seem to be right-wing hawks, usually white men, lining up behind Bush and mainly pontificating, linking and quoting each other. They mostly come off as unbelievably serious and dull to me. I'd go to a party with them only if I couldn't get to sleep.

Don't get me wrong. Some of them do write eloquently and compellingly. Rafe Colburn is someone I just discovered. I don't consider him a "warblogger." He writes well-written and thoughtful opinions, plus he's great if you care about both programming and politics.

Yet why are they SOOO popular? Here is about THE most popular and widely read blog on the Internet: InstaPundit, by this law professor named Glenn Reynolds who also writes a column for MSNBC. He mainly links and quotes articles, much like what I did today. It's something you can do with one eye closed, when you don't have time to write.

The infamous Drudge Report, by Matt Drudge, gets almost 7 MILLION visitors a day. It was the site that first broke the Monica Lewinsky story. But it's only a collection of pure links with barely any comments. Add more right-wing shortsightedness and stir. Again, I scratch my head. What a dull site, for people who don't want to bother creating a website with news links.

Yawn.

I wish I had time to be more literary, more evocative, more personal. I wish I could write dark monologues as well as Joe Frank, my favorite radio dramatist of all time. You can listen to some of his old radio shows directly from his site. I recommend "A Call in the Night" and "Rent-A-Family." He's very dark, absurdist, surreal. If you like the playwright Eugene Ionesco (which I do), you will like Joe. He was inspired by Dostoevsky and Faulkner. He's nothing you have ever heard before, I guarantee. He seduces you with his stream-of-consciousness voice.

Yet to try to be as gripping or entertaining or original as he takes time. It takes painful introspection. Gnashed teeth. Heartburn. To write well is like a tiny version of giving birth, with a small sort of the same emotional investment. It's so much easier to write flippant commentary, regurgitate what others say, to graft someone else's wrinkled pathos over your unblemished skin.

Another reason I'm not so personal sometimes is because it will bore you. It would bore me. I can look inward but I don't prefer to live there. I'd rather study other people, other situations. My daily life is just as boring as yours. Probably more so. Not that I'm bored. The synapses of my brain are usually sizzling in unusual directions. I'd rather study YOU and see what makes you tick. In fact, some of you have been asking me for relationship advice recently. Dr. Raymond. HA!

But, I WILL try to be more "personal" again. Just nudge me if I'm getting too serious or stuffy. If you've ever talked to me, you'll know I'm really informal and chatty. I am silly. That's the usual me.

For example, here are excerpts of my chat with Ellen (sunnyfence) last week. She lives in Manila. Looking back, I can't believe I talk like this:

rayning: can you guys open those jars of macapuno??? [Filipino coconut. It is sold in extremely tight jars that you can't open.]
rayning: i never can here
sunnyfence: hehe
rayning: i always have to go to an army base and get a missile. why do they make those jar lids military strength?
sunnyfence: really? heat the top of the lid. it will expand it a little. that's how some people do it
rayning: yeah i do
sunnyfence: some people do it by brute force. we're strong, man ;)
rayning: but american jars are never like that. yeah...we are wimps. need to do more jar-ging
sunnyfence: hehe i don't know why they make it that tight but we get to eat them anyway despite it
sunnyfence: macapunos are good
sunnyfence: hehe, come here and we'll feed you as much as you want
rayning: oh yeah! ...grrrr....running to the airport!
sunnyfence: the sweets are mostly like that, i think
rayning: i'm so eager to get the fruits that i'm parachuting off the plane
sunnyfence: have u ever tried leche flan?
rayning: oh yeah!! yummy
sunnyfence: it's like regular flan or custard, but around 100x yummier
rayning: i LOVE all filipino fruits
sunnyfence: seriously
rayning: yes i've had leche flan
sunnyfence: isn't it sooooo good? mm
rayning: yes!!! i think they need to make a 5th food group...
rayning: the filipino jarred fruits group: lanka, macapuno, coconut cube things, halo halo beans, ubi
sunnyfence: have you had halo-halo?
rayning: oh yes! after eating it i have halo-cinations!
sunnyfence: hehe i knew you'd like it
rayning: look. ...i haven't met a filipino dish i didn't like
sunnyfence: if you go here i promise i'll give you halo halo!
rayning: ooohhhh.....just don't pour it on my head
sunnyfence: hehe good
rayning: it's easy to please me with filipino food. all i've had is good i think
sunnyfence: that's why you need to get your butt over here
rayning: i knowwww!!! so i can end my "texting" virginity! [I've never sent text messages by cell phone before. It's all the rage in Asia.]
rayning: and start ending my sentences with "tuloy"
sunnyfence: hahaha yup. you should try our other native sweets too
rayning: and become a center of "chismis"
sunnyfence: and bibingka and puto
...
rayning: sigh....i would love to be jumping off the jeepneys, crashing the chismis parties, texting with passionate flirtation, combing my hair with hairy coconut shells, bungee jumping into volcanoes
...
rayning: are you good at snapping mosquitoes with rubber bands?
sunnyfence: hahaha yup
rayning: wow...a skill i have yet to master. you know how my dad kills flies?
rayning: he'll wait till the fly has landed on a curtain, preferably a white one. then he'll go ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH
rayning: and smash the curtain against the window then smear it all out
sunnyfence: hehe i don't know how to snap mosquitoes with rubber bands
rayning: OH??? i'm surprised at you! isn't that taught at UP in Mosquito 101
rayning: so yeah my dad's style of fly-killing is to make fly-jelly instead
...
sunnyfence: hahaha
sunnyfence: so when we get into the car, a lot of flies seem to want to go with us to work.
sunnyfence: so on our way to work he'd suddenly clap his hands in whatever direction to try and kill the fly and it's SOOOO disgusting to see the smashed up fly
sunnyfence: ughh
rayning: so he claps and drives at the same time?? haha
rayning: does he see it land on your nose and go, "wait! don't move!"
rayning: SLAP
sunnyfence: uh huh! hehe
rayning: well after many years, that will lead to the medical condition known as "FLAT NOSE"
...
sunnyfence: hehe ray..i think i bring out the silliness in you [You definitely do!]