Posted 9:11 PM by Blah blah

Stressful day at work today. Sigh. I was NOT happy. Tried to sleep and laugh it off.

Posted 6:54 PM by Blah blah

New for My Reading List

New blog in The Asian Journalist, called Time of My Life, by H L. She's a Chinese Christian girl who recently moved from the East Coast to Silicon Valley! Since I'm also an East Coast transplant (from New England), I dig many of her funny and right-on-target observations, like:

Even though I've always worked in science/technology I think I'm actually much more of a humanities type of person. Recently someone asked me if I could do it all over would I have chosen to major in something fuzzy instead of a science. I still said no. I'm still too ingrained with the Asian mentality. But I lived in a world in which it would be "practical" to do so. I wish I lived in a parallel universe in which English and sociology majors are wooed and recruited out of school into start-ups where they get paid lots of money to write all day. Engineering would be for humanities drop-outs. They would get jobs answering the phones at these start-ups. Haha! Alas, the world is not that way. But still, maybe one day someone will pay me to blog.

- Some people here seem to be unaware that anything exists outside of California. Now while this is certainly an understandable misconception I was still pretty shocked when one girl asked me whether Delaware was close to Sacramento. Another person, when asked if she had grown up in the area, replied casually, "No, I grew up in Fremont." [H L, I still meet people who think my home of Rhode Island is somewhere in the Bahamas! People here think the world revolves around California.]

- This goes without saying, but there are SO many Asians. I don't think I ever realized what it was like not to be a minority until I came here. Not only that but there are a ton of Cantonese people here. When I was growing up my Mandarin friends always made fun of me for my peasant roots. "Har Gow! Siu Mai!" Here I don't have to explain that no, I don't eat dog. [Since I went to an elementary school in New England with only TWO Asians (including me), I thought I had come to this racial nirvana.]

- The cost of living here really is insane. Just because a house looks like it's made of sticks doesn't mean it's not a million dollars. I remember once as a community service activity my fellowship was collecting canned goods for a food drive. My team was assigned to a neighorhood in Cupertino. As I was walking around I was thinking that maybe we should be giving these people canned goods instead of soliciting them. Some of the houses looked like they were about to fall apart and one looked like someone had built it out of twigs. Imagine my shock when a guy on my team told me that houses in this neighborhood were still in the ballpark of a million dollars! [I'm laughing. My parents felt the same culture shock.]

So Diary of a Mad Monk: The Confessions of an Ex-Priest, by Dave, came back out of hiding last month! I must be the last to know. Will add him to my reading list. Here's what I wrote about him. Am feeling stretched and exhausted today. How are you doing?

Good to see that Tae Kim in NYC has a new look, password-free! Check him out. Hiya Tae!

Posted 1:46 AM by Blah blah

Businessman's convoy of love for Vice-President (Ananova): "A businessman rolled up in a convoy of 24 black cadillacs to propose to Taiwan's Vice-President. Tung Nien-tai was stopped a block away from the Presidential Office by 160 police officers and threw his 99 red roses into the street. He is said to be infatuated with Vice-President Annette Lu Hsiu-lien." Move over, Chu Mei-Feng! Give Annette some press time.

Craigslist craziness

Whenever I want an instant laugh, I turn to the Best of Craigslist. If you are still a Craigslist virgin, their ads typically are spunky, overeducated, and range from classy to Jerry Springer-ish. Since most of them are from San Francisco, you can expect to find the most wild, quirky, countercultural, articulate, and intelligent people. Ok, all of you aged 17 and below---and all of you Asian parents---please cover your eyes and go straight to Barney and Friends. What follows is R-rated, meaning it would all be new to Al Gore:

you looked sexy even though...:
...you were having a seizure. it was in the hair care section at the noe valley walgreens. i was the guy in the blue shirt holding your legs while that old man put his wallet in your mouth. let's get together when you're feeling less woozy.

To the lovely blond I may have offended:
I was just thinking about this afternoon and think we may have had some miscommunication.

When I asked if you were a hooker I didn't mean it like it might have sounded or how I think you may have taken it. I didn't mean that you LOOK like a hooker just that if you wanted to be one that I'm sure you could do very well at it because I think you are gorgeous. I meant it as a compliment but somehow I don't think you took it that way.

Now that I think about it maybe I should have used the term "call girl."

Wanna try this again? I promise the next time we see each other I won't be so goddamn drunk.

The Truth About Cats and...Well, Just Dogs: List of bad dating ads.

The Beautiful Pharmacy Girls at Kaiser:
As I waited in line to drop off my prescription in the South Building, 1st floor pharmacy at Kaiser in Pleasanton I realized that all four girls working the pharmacy, including the redhead that kept coming and going, were very attractive. Being newly single, not only am I realizing how many truly beautiful women are around but that these women may be available to ME. So knowing that soon I'll be face to face with a young beautiful pharmacy girl I started contemplating how I'm going to charm one of these lovelies into giving me her phone number so we can hook up for an arbitrary beverage. Therein lies my dilemma, how do you pick up on a pharmacy girl?...

coolest girl ever seeks same:
"i desire her friendship more than i desire bejeweled platinum jewelry"
---p. diddy

"sexier than robert plant and britney spears spears wrestling beneath a glorious waterfall of olive oil and glitter"
---justin timberlake

"i would come out of my secret hiding place just for a chance at her friendship."
---VP dick cheney

"i'm just glad she lets me borrow her clothes"
---chloe sevigny

cars passing in the sunset:
You were the beautiful asian woman in the blue(?) car yelling sweet obscenities in my ear.

I was the smitten asian guy in the tan Corolla that almost hit you.

We both stopped and held eye contact for several seconds as you screamed your pretty head off. I thought I felt a spark. I was willing to take up your offer to teach me how to drive but didn't catch your info as you sped off. Coffee?

this is in or around missed collision at Taraval and 27th @ 6pm, 1/14

[Some women are just more beautiful bitchy.]

Space Alien:
Space Alien looking for human female subject for scientific experimenation - maybe more. I'm looking for a woman who wants more than capture, probe, mind wipe and release.

I'm 9' tall, grey skin, gills, long smooth tentacles with lots of suckers, cold slimy skin and green eyes. Most women find me attractive! I'm easy going and have a great sense of humor. If you mind meld with me you'll know that. I haven't been in a serious relationship in over 100,000 years - but I think I'm ready again.

I like to spend a romantic evening soaking in a nice big tub of warm brine and have someone to mind meld with and rub my tentacles - touching - feeling - especially the 9th tenacle - if you know what I mean. --- hmmmmmm --- ;;-))

[Reminds me of what I consider to be Isaac Asimov's funniest story, "What is this Thing Called Love?"]

I need someone to take CPA Ethics test for me:
Local CPA candidate has no time to study; will PAY you to take the ethics exam for me! Serious replies, only. You must have passed test in California within last two years.

[Andersen, eat your heart out.]

High Tech Martyr:
Objective:

I am seeking a position that will utilize many years experience taking the blame for things that don't go as planned....

This town and bong water, perfect together:
The really interesting part about SF is the combination of tech-geek/geniuses and stoner/drug-user. Where I'm from, we smoked and then watch beevis and butthead marathons or up_in_smoke for about the 1000th time. On one occasion, we did create a bong out of an empty tennis ball cannister, a steel pen, and duct tape. We thought we were pretty brilliant and congratulated ourselves for about 2 or 3 days.

Also, people seem to be extremely well-researched here about recreational drug use. Back home, we just roll. Here, people are careful to preload with antioxidents, 5-HTP, b-6, and folic acid followed by a post-roll SSRI to prevent axon loss. Of course, that does nothing to prevent damage to the seratonin transport (or something similar) mechanism so it would best be wise to keep MDMA consumption to under 1mg/pound. All this was calmly explained to me by someone at a club whose pupils were so dilated that he looked like a caucasian that had just stepped out of a japanese cartoon. Oh, and he had just developed a new object-oriented programming language for creating multi-user web-enabled applications.

What exactly do you call a geeky slacker? Someone who does nothing all day but smoke and on occasion revolutionizes the field of optics by creating a new form of packet-switching technology?

[Give me a glass of water, pleeeez! I'm hyperventilating. Yuk yuk yuk. "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." -- Jeremy Anderson]

Free Spelling Lessons for all CL Posters:
uninhibited
Pronunciation: "&n-in-'hi-b&-t&d
Function: adjective
free from inhibition.

uninhabited
Main Entry: inhabited
Function: adjective
having inhabitants.
so, the opposite of 'having inhabitants' would be 'not having inhabitants'

hint: you want the first one (uninhibited).
as in, "Need a girl next door who's completely uninhibited with my 12' pet boa."

Flirting on my deathbed:
You were the medical tech that helped me out after the boring overfed ambulance men dropped me off at Kaiser in SF.

Dark hair, not to tall.. a bit scruffy. Very energetic.

You looked like you had band practice after work. We made eye contact in a big way and in my weakened voice i tried to be bubbly and flirt with you. how pathetic but i tried!

In spite of my illness, dirty hair and unshaven legs, somehow you saw through all that and smiled at me.

too bad my mom was there or I would have asked you more questions. I feel like such a dork. But I did notice you.

You were the reason I didnt go towards the light! thank you.

Maybe next time we will meet under better circumstances. Im all better now!

Cute Girl with Amoebae Seeks Nice Man to Feed Us:
Slightly feverish, attractive single woman (early 30's) with mild cramping seeks kind gentleman to take me and my amoebae out to dinner. You pay for dinner, I'll pay for our prescription drugs. Clean restaurants only. Please hurry. We are ravenous. You must be a social extrovert as the amoebae currently outnumber us and have all sorts of outlandish things to say.

To view amoebae, click here:

We are standing by, snacking, waiting for your reply.

How to Flirt:
My missed connection is to the man in the ski cap at java beach today, the blonde (long hair) man at Safeway in outer Richmond last night, and it goes on and on! I've realized why. I don't know how to flirt. Any men out there (late 20's and early 30's) want to tell this clueless woman how to flirt? What do women do that gets your attention and keep it? Please?

REPLY:
...
If we're not strangers, and you want to make your interest clear when we're hanging out somewhere, it'll vary from situation to situation, but some things are generally true:
- laugh at my jokes.
- touch me. Nothing gross, simply a hand on my knee (if I'm tall, my head if I'm short) when making a point in conversation.
- mention that you're single. The best way is to mention a date you had last week that didn't go well - it shows you're available but not desperate. It also, if you tell it right, gives him a hint about what you would want a date to be like.
- massage my prostate. (Gently)

My missed connection?
a literary device that'll wean me off of excessive parenthesis. I know you're out there, somewhere. (aren't you?)

Luscious Geek--we slept together--you had to be at work by 4 AM:
My Sweet,

I woke up and you were gone! Tore the house up but couldn't find you anywhere. I forgot to tell you I'm falling madly in love with you. The passions we shared this weekend--I confess, I've been dorkwhipped! But you left so early--was it something I said? something I did? something I poured on you and licked off?

Perhaps you don't understand the depth of my passion. Well let me tell you:
I would face my technophobia for you! I'd learn to bank online. I'd even stop calling 1-800 numbers and find what I need on the web, just pleeeeeease come back to me! I need my very own computer geek.

My printer is still broken and I plan to be very VERY grateful when you get it working again. Yes, you are the skilled technician to fix everything that ails me. You have the hands of a musician, and the concentration of a brain surgeon. I've got an a: drive that wants to have your disk inside--I promise to use virus protection--oh, download me, baby!

Am I coming on too strong? Is that what sent you out into the night? Please forgive me for being so wanton, but you bring it out in me. Can we please play the naughty computer store salesgirl and the curious consumer just one more time? Will you surf my web? install that hard drive? kiss me and murmur obscure programming commands in my ear?

Only you have the password to this account. I knew my only chance would be to post something online.

passionately awaiting your next email,

geeklover

one bedroom apartment plus boyfriend:
I have a sunny one bedroom in Noe Valley. I also have really cute legs. This will make sense in a second . I decided this place was feeling just too big so I thought I would look for a roommate and then I remembered that I was looking for a girlfriend too so why don't I just throw all my eggs in one basket and go for the whole Shibang. Kittenkaboodle. Ball of wax. Whatever. This might sound nuts but I bet there is some lovely woman out there saying to herself, " GOD I wish I could find a good man... with a full size refrigerator and new tile in the bathroom." So here is the deal: you have a great smile and a heart of gold, and you also need to have curtain rods and hopefully a good floor lamp. I am 35, physically fit, have a good job, and the apartment has a living room and a good size kitchen. I have an unusually high IQ, interesting sense of humor, and there is plenty of cabinet space in the pantry and good water pressure in the shower head. I am looking for someone who is sweet and honest and earnest (like me) and who likes to have presents made for her and her pillow fluffed and also wouldn't mind making me a ham sandwich now and again. NOT because she HAS TO, but because she LOVES me. Like I love her. Which is why I would sit there and hold her hand while she cried for an hour about something that made absolutely no sense. And then I would get up and make HER a ham sandwich. And some soup. Then I would fix the water heater. Because I love her. Anyway, the apartment is close to shops and muni and my best qualities are my exhuberance for life, one-of -a- kind personality and kindness and compassion for others. I retain a certain cheerfulness and hopeful disposition, and I am even romantic like people were back in the days before the sexes were afraid to interact with each other…like when they would actually smile and say hi to each other… like in the 50’s. Upon completion of a successful interview please be prepared to provide a nominal deposit . You also have to sleep with me. Utilities included. Did I mention I like animals?

Posted 12:41 PM by Blah blah

Actually, Christine, I called your journal "Blog of the Business Plan!"

Diabetes

Today I'm gonna sound like your dad... Before you read the next article, kids, you'd better pig out on juicy T-bone steaks, pork chops, milk with 100% fat, and bread as white as a skinhead. Your last chance. After I'm through with you, you won't ever go near a burger joint or detach your butt from that exercise bike again! Repeat after me: "Guilt is good!"

I saw on TV that in Shanghai they even have a camp for overweight kids now. Although I'm the type of person who tries to eat everything (including the plastic wrapper), in recent months I've been cutting down on beef and pork. Boy is my blog sounding like a "test of the Emergency Broadcast System" or what???

Study links 'Western' diet, diabetes risk (Boston Globe):
_______________________
Men who consume a typical ''Western'' diet - red meat, refined grains, high-fat dairy products - are much more likely to develop diabetes than those whose diets center on vegetables, fruits, whole grains, fish and poultry, according to a new study from the Harvard School of Public Health.

The study followed more than 42,000 male health professionals for 12 years, tracking their self-reported eating habits and incidence of type 2 diabetes, which affects about 16 million Americans and is a leading cause of heart failure, kidney failure, blindness and other health problems.

The men whose diets most closely conformed to the Western model were 60 percent more likely to develop the disease than those who stuck closest to what researchers termed a ''prudent'' diet - even when adjusted for other factors that increase the risk of diabetes, such as smoking, a family history of the disease and a sedentary lifestyle.

People who ate lots of vegetables and other ''prudent'' foods in addition to large quantities of meat and dairy products reduced their risk, but not enough to counteract the effects of the Western diet. And the added risk from the ''Western'' diet as a whole was greater than the risk from any single food considered harmful, a finding the researchers called important because it reflects people's eating patterns rather than one unhealthy food.

''People should change their entire eating pattern, not just increase or decrease one nutrient or one food,'' said Frank Hu, an assistant professor at the Harvard School of Public Health and senior author of the paper published in today's issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine. ''This is an important public health message.''

_______________________
Diabetes: Asia's Modern Scourge (Far Eastern Economic Review):

"High-calorie diets, lack of exercise and sedentary lifestyles are largely to blame. Traditional lifestyles and diets that have sustained people over generations are disappearing and Asians are starting to bulge at the waistline. In terms of sheer numbers, 'it's probably the biggest epidemic in history,' says Paul Zimmet, director of the International Diabetes Institute in Melbourne, noting that the disease affects roughly 150 million people worldwide. Even more disturbing is that the situation is expected to get much worse and the major burden will be born in Asia, where at least 60 million people suffer from diabetes. By 2025 that number is conservatively expected to double, the World Health Organization warns. India and China will be particularly hard hit (see chart).

Diabetes was uncommon in China before 1980 and affected less than 1% of the population in big cities and even fewer people in rural areas. Recent estimates for Shanghai and Beijing put the diabetes prevalence figure at about 6%. Both genetic and environmental factors cause the disease. Zimmet estimates between 95% and 98% of all cases have a genetic component.

Experts believe that Indian, Malay, Chinese and Polynesian ethnic groups have a genetic predisposition to develop the disease. Some experts believe these populations have what is called the 'thrifty gene'--a gene that historically enabled them to cope with prolonged periods of starvation by storing surplus sugars as fat. Now that these ethnic groups have ready access to food, the theory goes, and with modernization get less exercise, individuals with these genes have a greater susceptibility to diabetes.' "
_______________________
Hmmm, I like that---"thrifty gene." Now when my friends tell me I'm stingy, I can just say, "It's not me. It's my DNA, BABY!"

Posted 7:05 PM by Blah blah

Nothing profound today. Business. Here are Gartner's Top 10 Predictions for 2002, mainly about "three crucial areas that will shape business investment in IT."

Also from Gartner: Predicts 2002: What's Ahead for the IT Industry. Leave some comments. Me like.

Posted 8:07 PM by Blah blah

Someone I know in Wuhan, China just got the opportunity to sing next to Gigi Leung yesterday! She had entered the city singing competition and was picked as one of the top ten singers. Totally amateur, she got to perform in a restaurant with the other winners for some kind of promotion, next to the Hong Kong pop star. Congratulations and good luck!

I found this absolute gem about marriage on Christine's Notepad. I wish I could talk to the person who wrote it. Very poetic, profound, and spellbinding. I agree with what it says about one of the best aspects of marriage---the power of positive transformation! My friend Crystal did end up with one of her long-time friends, John. They both went to Lowell High in SF. This essay raises many points I have wondered throughout my life as I observe good and bad relationships. I wish I had time to flesh them out here. What is your view?:

MARRIAGE
(Author unknown)

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling.

Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives. When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do.

Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering days and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles.

It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed.

It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination.

Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts.

Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friend before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best.

They share time together before they get swept up into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality. This is the ideal, but not often possible.

If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each others company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world.

Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness has a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief.

Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance does not become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny.

If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word.

There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good.

If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.

We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things.

But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.

There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one.

Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom.