Posted 1:11 PM by jc

Aggressive Elevator Ettiquette

Like many young professionals, I’ve a job in which time is of consequence. This means I hurry to and fro. When my duties take me to another floor, I’m often forced into an elevator.

Given that I spend time on ten different floors at work, I’ve learned to jockey aggressively for elevator position. It can mean the difference between having lunch or having a Snickers. So I’ve a few tips for the walking weary.

Stance and body position are all-important. The knees must be bent. Sharp elbows are a plus, and shoulder angle can’t be overlooked. Placing your shoulder slightly in front of the next fellow allows for first crack at the door.

Stand to the center of the elevator, regardless of how few people are with you. This invasion of personal space causes others to press against the walls. With your knees bent in the “triple threat” position, you’ll be the first one out.

Look down after pressing the button for the desired floor. This prevents social propriety from forcing you to hold the door for latecomers. Minutes can be saved with this technique. Plus, fewer passengers means fewer stops.

Glaring at those who make inappropriate use of the elevator benefits the workplace at large. Do it for the team. Those who travel just one floor without good reason should immediately feel the icy stares of others. A loud sigh when the button is pressed by a guilty individual can also be beneficial. If you happen to be bigger and stronger than the chap, consider swearing under your breath and grinding your teeth. Be menacing.


When used in combination, these tactics allow for maximum elevator efficiency. Which, of course, has never matched that of the stairs.