Posted 4:12 AM by Anonymous

RE: Interracial dating and the topic of being exoticized and sexually stereotyped.

Raven asked about the different stereotypes surrounding Asian females and what non-Asian males have done to make us feel exoticized.

To be honest, I don't encounter too many men who are blatantly racist towards Asian women. My experiences were with men who were subtle about their preferences, and later became quite apparent once the relationship(s) got more serious. I dated an older Caucasian man (mid 30's) about 3 years ago. Right off the bat he confessed his fetish for Asian women and because I wasn't serious about him, I just shrugged it off.

I can relate when Mira says: "I admit without hesitation that I like the sexual attention/stereotype, I feel flattered by it. Yet it upsets me at the same time that I'm 'boxed' and viewed that way."

I was definitely flattered by his compliments. He loved certain physical features. Actually, it more like he was intrigued with me. I felt like some exotic, rare bird that caught his fancy. He would constantly shower me with compliments that somehow extinguished any possible insecurity a "Asian woman" might possess. He loved the fact that I didn't have fake, silicon boobs. I hated how my heavy, thick hair hung shapelessly over my shoulders. But he loved brushing my "long, raven hair," always reassuring to me that he preferred "brunettes" over blondes any day. I always just thought that he was confirming the fact that Asian women were indeed beautiful in their own unique ways, but after a while I started feeling exploited.

At dinner parties, he would joke with his buddies and make remarks like, "I know you envy me. My girl is prettier than any Miss Asia contestant around!" My favorite was when he flirted with a Japanese waitress at a restaurant. He thought he was Mr. FunnyManComedian when he started cracking jokes about the fried shrimp heads she served as an appetizer. For some odd reason, he thought he could charm her by using the fish heads as finger puppets. She smiled shyly, giggled politely and walked away. He smirked, looked at me and said "I think she likes me." Once safely behind the curtain near the kitchen, I could hear her say in Japanese, "What a stupid man! He thinks he's so funny playing with his food!"

I think there ARE definite stereotypes attached to Asian women. We're submissive when it comes to voicing our dissatisfaction, but extremely excitable in bed. I've experienced this first hand, and I'll admit that I had my fun playing the role. Yeah yeah, I guess I'm at fault for misleading this ignoramus on, letting him think that I was taking the bait. His bait of course, being his bed. Like rotten cheese stuck to a mouse trap, I sniffed him out and got the fuck out of there.

Asian women are beautiful and yes, we love the compliments. But spare us the "cheese" and buy us some Louis Vuitton purses instead! (because Asian women love those too.)