Posted 1:33 AM by Blah blah

Unica Hija and Esther wrote some fantastic replies and I will answer them. But it's late and I just got an incredibly bad haircut today and need to sleep. Esther, I am just blown away by your depth here! Would you believe it, guys? When Esther chats, she mainly talks like this: "hee hee" and "lol." It's like two different people. Hahaha!

What Captivated You?

In the meantime, Scott asked this on RBJ: "what was it about your significant other or love-of-your-life (so far) that really grabbed you and made you at least hope they were The One. A scene, a word, a walk, an attitude, (a nipple shot), or a quality that made them different for you. Or do you blame liquor and green M&M's? Silly superficial things are good too, because obviously, they led to something deeper, and we are all stoopid like that sometimes. :-)"

Rasee (our new cowriter) answered:

The first time we met we went to a movie with friends. We had hit it off immediately. We had just come out Monster's Ball, which we had giggled through, and were standing at a display case of Star Wars and Spiderman action figures. We were talking about Spiderman and he asked me how I had felt about the movie. I said something--I can't remember now--and I asked him how he felt about it. I can't remember what he said either. We started to talk about our families and I admitted that my family life was far from perfect. I asked him about his parents and he went quiet. I had expected the worst.

"They are...the most compassionate people," he started.

That was it. Along with that smile that seemed full of kindness and sunshine, how comfortable he was in his own skin, and how easy it was to talk to him, what he said about his parents made me realize I was going to love this boy if given half the chance to get to know him better. With my family background, anyone who could talk about their parents that way--with so much love and awe and gratitude--it was amazing to me. I was speechless.

It's rare for me to meet someone that matches my perkiness or optimism, and I found both in the Boy. I found a love and passion for life, the courage to laugh at himself, and a kindness so subtle it was endearing. Maybe he made me feel like I was doing okay in how I lived my life. Maybe he showed me what *I* needed.

I answered:

My first real love lived one floor above me in our dorm. The first time I visited her room, I noticed how much she liked pink. She had a pink poster of a cat on her door, she wore a pink sweater, and she purred in a soothing voice when she talked and laughed. She was very calm and content. I started thinking of her as a satisfied, flirtatious kitty.

After dinner, every day she'd go to the cafe by herself, without fail, and gaze at the sunset.

She was a hardworking, determined scientist but also very romantic and sweet. She had so much joy in the tiny details of life. I caught her infection.

Another thing: I come from a family that does not listen or communicate well. I was used to people not listening to me when I talked, to having to repeat something several times to get my message across. I was used to shouting at home before college.

When I visited her and started talking, she immediately shut off her TV and paid full attention to me. When she was talking and I had a thought, she instantly stopped and wanted to truly hear me. I could talk softly and sense someone was there listening to me with big blinking eyes. Being treated this way was so FOREIGN to me. A shock.

And I was hooked.