Posted 4:20 PM by Blah blah

Racists

Paul wrote this awesome tale of him being a hero and defending two girls on the street this weekend in Atlanta.

YEAH Paul!!! You go man!

I haven't met many jerks like those racist "frat boys" since I was a kid growing up in New England. Would I try to punch them out if they touched one of my girl friends? Probably. You wouldn't like me when I'm really angry.

Flashback:

I was getting on the bus in Rennes, a city in northwestern France. With me was this Cambodian guy Yung, whom I had just met on the SNCF train from Tours. When he heard I was travelling to Mont St. Michel, he insisted I stop in Rennes and spend the night with him and his host family.

As we stepped on the bus, we heard snickers from our left. These four teenaged French boys were staring at us. "Salut...Japonais!" (Japanese) they smirked as we sat in the back, next to them. "Oooh...deux hommes jaunes!" (two yellow men) they clucked. "Ching chong ching....hahaha!"

The day before, in Tours, I had lived through the worst day ever of my trip. I was in an ugly mood.

"Êtes vous Chinois?" (Are you Chinese) they grinned. "EYYY! Vous ne comprenez pas le Français? (You don't understand French?) Doi....oioioooooi..." they said, pulling their eyes into slits with their fingers.

I grew enraged. I had only studied French for a week before starting this trip and my tongue struggled to speak. I seethed with the memory of the many insults like this I had heard as a kid in New England. But it had been over 15 years since I'd last heard the talk. My eyes and nose flared. The so-called "rude" French had been very kind to me up till the other day. So friendly. Until this bunch of assholes spoiled it.

My eyes bored into Yung, urging him to respond in French, seeking an equal rage. But I just saw a blank face. He stared straight ahead and spoke nothing. He pretended not to understand. Yung was fighting to get a visa to stay in the country. He didn't want attention.

"Je suis Américain!" (I am American!) I growled. "Je suis Californien, (Californian) damn you!"

The boys gasped. "Ohhh, Anglais, (English) hah? So I hear that the Asian dick is very small, no? How big is your dick? Hehehehe!"

We reached our stop. Yung motioned for me to go. I stood up, glaring at the French boys, and shouted "Vous!!! Vous êtes...imbéciles, non???" (You are imbeciles, no?)

The whole bus stopped talking and stared at us. Silence. Yung and I smiled and got out of there.

When we reached his apartment, the first thing I did was ask for a dictionary. I looked up "imbecile." It meant the same in French as it did in English. "Yeah baby!!!" I yelled.

That night was one of the best nights of my trip.

Before YOU go to Europe, make sure to study:
Good phrases for being obnoxious in French.

Better:
How to be an Obnoxious Lover with French.