Posted 2:58 AM by Anonymous

It’s interesting how when you’re coasting along on only 4 hours sleep a night over a period of several days, things start to get a little blurry. Surreal. At the same time, strangely, a little more intense.

I’ve been overcome by a semi-delirium, giggling at every thing. As if drunk on long island iced teas, I feel like a young, happy teenager. I’ve become a girl again. For a long time lately, I’d felt old. Too wise. Too knowing. Too aware of the evils that exist in the world.

But lately, I’ve stopped turning into bed at 10pm so I could get my requisite 8 hours sleep. I no longer look at my night’s rest as a welcome escape from the mundane, if not depressing routine that is my life. Instead, I’ve been sleeping at 1am, then 2am (on a work night, mind you!), and 6am on the weekend due to my reactivated social life.

And those missing hours have translated into more than just fun. I actually feel like I’m living my life again. This is probably the first time in a year, the first time since coming back to Malaysia that I actually feel like HERE is where it’s happening. I feel like I belong. I feel popular, beloved, surrounded by friends. I feel glad to be stuck in this little, isolated island that is home.

So, back to the intensity. Somehow, I’m enjoying everything a whole lot more. It’s like all the little details are coming together, jiving. And. I’m realizing it. That’s what’s making the difference. The little details. I’m enjoying every little detail all over again.

This lack of sleep. Yeah,it seems to be working for me.