Posted 8:13 AM by Blah blah

Ten Replies to Unica Hija

1. Being the only girl means you probably can pin all your brothers in wrestling. Plus you must be a good flirt.

2. I feel a subliminal craving for: Hello Kitty handbags, the new Powerpuff Girls movie, an Anna Kournikova Omega watch, Purina Dog Chow, and the urge to put $10,000 down on a Lexus SC 430 convertible, with 0% financing. Where do I sign?

3. Golf is better done on grass than in a condo. Even if it IS with a very good friend in the privacy of your own home.

4. Me too, if I had a beach. In the meantime, I practice diving in my inflatable kiddie pool. Just saw this episode of Friends:

JOEY: Whatever Monica says, we shouldn't feel left out if she doesn't invite us along. We're more mature now. If I want to sit home and chug some beer, so be it!
CHANDLER: Hey, I'm 29 years old, and if I want to stay home for a quiet evening with some books, I am entitled to that!
ROSS: YEAH! Sometimes I just want to come home, put on some Kenny G and soak in a bath, you know?
(Pause)
JOEY: We're growing older. We're not women.

5. How about body parts?

6. *Clap clap clap* Amazing what they teach you in graduate school. Can you also rub your tummy at the same time? Do you ever powder your steering wheel by accident?

7. He started reading this blog today to find out what you are doing after work. He blows you a kiss.

8. Let's start a betting pool on the final date, shall we?

9. Don't remind me of what I'm missing.

10. Sorry ma'am, we have a one minute limit on acceptance speeches. The Academy stands up and gives you warm, sustained applause.