Posted 6:56 PM by Anonymous

Oof ... I’m back! It was a difficult weekend. I had all these plans to post stuff about my obsession with Spike (yes, he of Buffy fame), my thankfulness for old friends (who seem like fine wine ... your appreciation of them improving in direct correlation to the number of years you’ve know them), about how, sometimes, “the truth really does set you free”.

But instead, I had a huge blow up argument with someone I care about more than anything in this world. It’s this little vicious dance the two of us do ... since I’ve been home, I’m fought with her on average every two weeks. Each argument is draining and horrible; we both say things that pierce right through to hurt the other. And the precise reason these fights are so debilitating is because we love each other so much. Isn’t it ironic that we always end up hurting the ones we love most? (I’ve found that lately, such trite phrases like that, have become a reality in my life. I guess there was a reason why they were coined in the first place, why they continue to be used, huh?)

And then, this morning I woke up, the last one at home, on a Monday morning. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was alone in an empty house, our little family unit now down to 3 persons. (With a fourth member all the way across the world, and the last, resting in a peaceful sleep of forever) I didn’t just feel alone, I felt sad. Despite knowing that I was going to see them by the end of the workday, I missed her and my sister so much. I’d spent the last 2 days angry and resentful that she refused to understand me. But damn, I missed her.

Perhaps what we need is some sort of “couples” counselling. I wish I could apologize and somehow magically become the perfect daugther that I’m just not. But I worry that we’ll repeat this all over again, like we’ve been doing for the past 5 months.

Listen, I’m sorry, mum, I really am. I wonder if that will help?