Posted 6:50 PM by Anonymous

It’s just a little crush ...

I wonder if it’s possible that newly single me is emitting some kind of pheramone, a sort of primordial scent to men out there, saying “I’m here, I’m available again, come get me!”

All of a sudden (and for the first time in a year) men are paying me attention again. Or maybe I’m being overly sensitive?

Last nite, I had dinner with an ex, whom I’d also had lunch with on Friday. This is one ex I never fully erased feelings for. Maybe because our relationship was forced to end abruptly because I was leaving the country, maybe because it was so short yet sweet, whatever the reason, I never fully explored the possibilities of a relationship with him. Thus, I’ve been left wondering. And of course it helps that I still find myself attracted to him (in a carnal sort of way!) So, the whole year that I’ve been back in Malaysia, I’d seen him probably twice, spoken to him less than ten times. But in the past few weeks, I’ve spoken to him every week, with the frequency increasing each week, and now, I’ve seen him for 2 meal dates in less than 5 days! Did I mention he’s also in the midst of a breakup? Aaah ... major rebound or what?

Then there’s this guy at work. I always thought he was sorta cute, that there was something mildly intriguing about him. But lately, I get the feeling that he’s reciprocating. We actually had a proper conversation the other day and it was good. I’ve worked here for a year, and that was the first prolonged talk we had. We sit diagonally across from each other so we see each other every day and there’s this strange awkardness between us ... ok, I think it’s sexual tension.

Oh well, I could be making all this up. My overly active imagination as usual creating a distraction from my breakup.

But I’m still wondering if we humans, react to an instinct, to sensory stimuli without our conscious mind being aware of it? Is this how men and women play their mating game? Is this why for the 20 months I was with the bastard, men just sort of stayed back?