Posted 10:38 AM by Blah blah

From Unica Hija (which means "only girl" in Tagalog):

Top 10 Reasons Why there Wouldn't be a Filipino-American President
(from an e-mail I got; it's so damn funny just had to post it!)

10. White House is not big enough for in-laws and the relatives.
9. Not enough parking spaces at White House for 2 Honda Civics, Toyota Celica, 1985 Mercedes Benz Diesel, BMW (big mean wife) and MPV (My Pinoy Van) and the jeepney owner..
8. Dignitaries generally intimidated by eating with fingers at state dinners.
7. Too many dining rooms in the White House (Where will they put the last supper picture?)
6. White House walls not big enough to hold giant wooden spoon and fork.
5. Secret Service staff won't respond to "psssst, psssst."
4. Secret service staff uncomfortable driving presidential car with rosary hanging on the rear view mirror or the statuette of Santo Nino on the dashboard.
3. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines on every White House Room.
2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home."
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON
1. AIR FORCE ONE does not allow overweight balikbayan boxes.

HAHAHA, Unica Hija! I don't get the balikbayan joke. Those lousy habits die hard. Once I treated my parents to this French restaurant for dinner...

Mom: (To my dad) No, NO, dummy. You don't use the salad spoon to eat your soup!
Dad: Oh c'mon!
Mom: When I was studying foods and nutrition in college, we were very picky about using the right fork. We're in a nice place now. As I said before, only use that fork for dessert. And fold your napkin like this...
[We finish eating.]
Mom: (To waitress) HEY, xiaojie...I mean, EYYY! EY!...Pssssssst, psssst!
Waitress: Oui, mademoiselle?
Mom: Can we have a DOGGIE BAG?

Then one time I took a sophisticated Beijing girl to lunch at Mistral, a French-Californian place.

Me: Why don't you try the Angel Hair Pasta with Chicken Provencal? It sounds sweet and delicious!
Girl: Okay, great!
[Food comes.]
Girl: (To waiter) Wait! Can I have some...[drum roll]...STEAMED RICE? And hot tea?

[Ba dum...dump!]