Posted 12:58 PM by Blah blah

I couldn't stop laughing here. If you think you've had a bad hair day...Woman Loses Case Over 'Bin Laden' Hairstyle (Reuters):

"A Hong Kong woman lost her case for compensation against a hair salon which she claimed made her look like Osama bin Laden when she wanted a hairstyle like Hollywood actress Julia Roberts. After the judgement was handed down, she refused to leave the Small Claims Tribunal and had to be taken away by ambulance following a standoff of more than an hour with court staff, the South China Morning Post reported on Thursday."

Speaking of Penelope Cruz, check out this new girl on RBJ, 20-year-old Lorenia. She's in Spain and full of life.

This guy and I were having lunch today, and we came up with this fantastic business idea! I won't say more, but we might do something with it. Hmmm...

I end today's sermon with some favorite poems:
I Do, I Will, I Have
by Ogden Nash

How wise I am to have instructed the butler to instruct the first footman to instruct the second footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage.
Just as I know that there are two Hagens, Walter and Copen,
I know that marriage is a legal and religious alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
Moreover, just as I am unsure of the difference between flora and fauna and flotsam and jetsam,
I am quite sure that marriage is the alliance of two people one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgetsam,
And he refuses to believe there is a leak in the water pipe or the gas pipe and she is convinced she is about to asphyxiate or drown,
And she says Quick get up and get my hairbrushes off the windowsill, it's raining in, and he replies Oh they're all right, it's only raining straight down.
That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorce,
Because it's the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat over everything debatable and combatable,
Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she...is pattable.

A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty
by Ogden Nash

Unwillingly Miranda wakes,
Feels the sun with terror,
One unwilling step she takes,
Shuddering to the mirror.
Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.

Shining like the morning star,
Like the twilight shining,
Haunted by a calendar,
Miranda is a-pining.

Silly girl, silver girl,
Draw the mirror toward you;
Time who makes the years to whirl
Adorned as he adored you.

Time is timelessness for you;
Calendars for the human;
What's a year, or thirty, to
Loveliness made woman?

Oh, Night will not see thirty again,
Yet soft her wing, Miranda;
Pick up your glass and tell me, then--
How old is Spring, Miranda?

I Lost My "Weenie" In The Car Wash
by Teresa McFarland

Late one night while driving home & nearly out of gas
I pulled off the freeway to fill my tank up fast!
I was tired & hungry, gotta pee
Texaco it was for me
The 'Star Mart' has just what I need
And a car wash that's for free!

While the gas was pumping, I got a key & visited the loo
Washed my hands then thought to myself 'now what am I gonna do?'
Bought a burger, a hot dog, a diet Pepsi
A burrito, Dorito's & a large cup of coffee
Yep, the Star Mart has all that I need
Plus a carwash that's for free!

Climbed into my van with receipt in hand & punched in the secret code
Green Light says "go", with windows up, red light stop! in idle mode
Suds & water swish and swash
Brushes are rolling - my "free carwash"!
The Star Mart had just what I need
And my carwash it was free!

Carwash is done, I'm ready to roll back on the interstate
A block away I look up to see the awful hand of fate
It occurred to me that I'd lost the Der Weinerschnitzel weena
That I'd carefully placed on my antennae
The carwash that I got for free
Had washed away my little weenie!

I lost my weenie in the carwash
I lost my weenie in the carwash
I was mindin' my own business & just followin' directions
but I still lost my weenie in the car wash!

Once I discovered it was missin'
I turned myself around
I was feeling optimistic, that it would be easily found
I peered in the puddles & batted the brushes
Looked in the gutter & under the rails
My weenie was gone, my only one
And now here's the sorry tale.

I searched high & low to no avail, my weenie it was gone
Then what do I see, an antennae ball and something else beyond
I kept lookin' for my special weenie, but you'll never guess just what I found:
5 balls from Jack in the Box, 2 basket balls and a soccer ball, 4 '76 gas
station balls and a Viagra fountain pen!
But I never found my weenie in the car wash!

Oh, I lost my weenie in the carwash!
I lost my weenie in the carwash!
Now I'm sad & broken hearted
I know I'll never find another
It was a one of a kind collectors item!
Oh my! I lost my precious weenie in the carwash!