Posted 11:41 PM by Blah blah

Dear Readers,
We of Tiger Cafe are doing a customer survey. Basically, we want to know what it is that will increase your urge to leave comments.

Should Raymond move to shorter and simpler entries (a la Reader's Digest)? Or should he keep doing what he's doing, which is to write until he feels he has made a substantial point or given a good sketch of whatever he's talking about? He wants to know. His exhausted fingers on the verge of arthritis wanna know. His housemate, who complains that Raymond spends too much time on this blog, wants to know.

SHORT, SIMPLE, and SCANDALOUS vs. LONG, INTELLECTUAL, and a GOOD CURE for INSOMNIA?
Please vote.

If you didn't know, Tiger Cafe is actually the work of a crack team of ghostwriters (we mean "crack team," not team on "crack") hired from various places like: a Harvard frat house, the 5th grade detention ward of John Muir Elementary School, the prison debating society at San Quentin, and the shower room at an undisclosed San Francisco bath house. Raymond's face is not that of one man's. It's actually a composite of the faces of a bunch of 50-year-old Hong Kong singers' faces, smooshed together on Adobe Photoshop with all of their beards digitally removed. Saved us from having to pay for a model---our budget is tight. You'll understand.

Here are a few suggestions our Writers have made for increasing both hits and readers' comments for this site. Tell us what you think:
1. Post a great many naked pictures of Raymond doing something sensual like licking a corn tortilla. Remember, pictures of Raymond's body are copyrighted by Tiger Cafe Inc. and are non-transferrable. They are also Photoshop composites of those 50-year-old singers' bodies mentioned before.
2. Post a great many pictures of BABIES BABIES BABIES. Make up a lot of births in the blogging world. Take unmarried bloggers, stick random baby pics next to their names, and ask everyone to send them a gift and celebrate the strange concidence of so many closely spaced pregnancies with us. Mention twins and triplets for good measure. Oh...by the way...make the babies naked too.

So SHORT vs. LONG? Cast your ballot now! Four more years! What would bring you lurkers out of hiding?
Sincerely,
The (very very sleepy) Management